Smelt
by legendarytobes
Summary: AU - Chloe isn't able to stop Clark from putting on the gold Kryptonite ring in the finale. He now has to adjust to being permanently mortal and to learning he isn't enough sometimes.  Chlarkollie triangle .
1. Chapter 1

1

I should have known that something would go wrong the day of my wedding. Nothing has gone smoothly in my life since Lex hit me with his Porsche. It's pretty much what happens when you're an alien, almost last of my kind, except for my cousin and, well, my clone Conner, and that's all kinds of awkward. Besides, I'm a magnet for everything evil in the universe-evil alien robots, dictators, disembodied criminals from intergalactic prisons, even pretty much the root of all evil. That was the latest problem in my life, that nebulous evil called Darkseid that was stretching out and infecting what seemed like everyone around me. I can't even tell you how many people I saw at just The Daily Planetwho were corrupted by it.

In retrospect, I might have been smarter to put off the big day until I'd actually gotten rid of Darkseid and his prophets. I can admit it; I had been pretty much tunnel-visioned for a couple years now. Yeah, I was patrolling the streets as The Blur , but I hadn't really been a very good person. I guess most of that comes later. Last year, I have no idea what I was thinking. I was really upset about how Jimmy died and it was all my fault for trusting Davis. I tried to cut off most of my human side and feelings. I shoved my friends away, start abusing my powers, even burned down buildings with my heat vision. The VRA called that an act of terrorism in its propaganda, and, really, I have no defense. That's pretty much what happened.

I tried this year to be better. I was at least not burning things down or physically assaulting people. I was patrolling, but I still feel I was pretty caught up in my own romantic life and, frankly, in the future.

I don't mean like dreams of the future either. I actually mean that I saw it. A superhero of sorts from the future came to me and showed me everything I was supposed to become, who I was supposed to be with, and I bought it hook, line, and sinker because it was easiest to slip into that role. Everything was guaranteed and, really, I was going to become pretty damn awesome it looked like, even get that flying thing down.

Except it wasn't the future I got.

I feel like everything's fallen apart, and I truly have fuck all clue how to fix it. Five days ago, I was going to get married to who I thought was the love of my life. Five days ago I had powers that hardly anyone else could come close to duplicating. Five days ago, Darkseid and Oliver Queen (brainwashed at the time) tricked me and took my powers away forever.

No, really forever. Apparently the gold meteor rocks strip me permanently. Oliver was in charge of getting the rings from the jeweler they day before the ceremony, and he did, sort of. He was controlled by Darkseid's prophet, Granny Goodness, into making rings from the gold K that looked pretty much exactly what we'd picked out. I hadn't noticed the damn difference. Microscopic and X-ray vision, at least back then, and I had been too happy to even notice something wasn't right.

Chloe had.

She's very perceptive like that.

She'd tried to rush forward and knock the ring out of Lois's hand. At the time, it hadn't looked too good, as if after all this time, she'd decided to stage her objections to our marriage. It seemed petty and Oliver had pulled her back all with the crowd gasping and Lois glaring at her, probably wishing that she had heat vision at the moment. We regrouped, even if it had been embarrassing, and I looked back just once to Chloe, being held still by Ollie but not fighting him anymore. She had tears running down her face and was still begging me not to do it.

I really thought she was just jealous.

She's been jealous before, although we were really just kids then.

So I slipped the ring on despite the warnings and everything changed. I knew immediately something had happened. It didn't hurt like the green K or give me a rush like the red. It just felt like I was suddenly exhausted. Before I could do anything else, I just sagged to the floor, barely able to move. Lois was shaking me, asking what was wrong, and Chloe, freed by Oliver, was trying to pull the ring off. She was able too, but unlike the blue type, once it was done, it was done. No taking it off to get my abilities back, no getting distance from it.

It was what it was.

I didn't realize it then. I was hoping it was just hours.

Oliver attacked me then and people fled. He came pretty damn close to killing me too, using shards of glass he'd broken loose from one of the stained glass windows. Lois had saved me. She's a black belt, third degree, and actually really good at kick boxing apparently, even in a dress that confining.

Chloe, who had connections I hadn't dreamed of, had J'onn and two other people on the case. A woman-and Chloe swears she's a goddess-named Diana and a guy who literally dresses like a giant bat. (And I think I'm weird.) The woman, Diana, and J'onn are about like me. She took care of the planet heading to Earth. He fought Darkseid, and Oliver, talked out of his possession by Chloe telling him how much she loved him, took care of the prophets.

I probably should have cared more that he had to shoot all of them through the heart to do that. I really didn't. They'd sold out to evil long ago and abused so many people, murdered scores in De Saad's case. So the day was saved and I didn't have to do anything. It was very odd. Even Chloe was running Watchtower, her own skills put to their best use, and I just stood around dazed.

That feeling didn't go away and the next day, even after a good night's rest, I didn't recover. That was when I got really scared, went to see Emil, and had him confirm I'd been altered on a cellular level. Technically, I still have alien DNA (or as close as Kryptonians come), but my cells were pretty wrecked and could no longer process yellow sunlight the way they'd always had.

Powerless, permanently.

I'd like to say that the blows didn't keep coming. I'd like to say I had time to recover my senses and deal with everything. Really I would. Except that's not how it happened. Lex Luthor is back and rebuilding his company, and, even though he doesn't seem to remember me (and Chloe was able to determine some memory serum was missing from Cadmus), he's still dangerous. Tess Mercer, who had been a good friend and serving as Watchtower all year while Chloe was gone, had been killed, found in an alley. We're having her funeral tomorrow. I'm sad that she has no family to come. Her adoptive parents are dead and her family is all Luthors. Lex won't be coming since we suspect he did it, and Lionel and Pamela Jenkins are dead and have been for quite a while.

Her Justice League family will have to mourn her. I know I'm going to miss her and should have tried even harder to understand her earlier in our relationship. She was an amazing ally, and I don't think we appreciated her enough, especially when she was brave enough to weaken Lex and pay the ultimate price.

The worst blow, however, was that Lois is leaving me. She said as much this morning. I wish I could say I was completely surprised. I'm not, exactly. I could tell she was in love with the powers. I knew she was super attached to them when she had them for a day. I know she didn't really understand that I had been Jaime Reyes once, that kid everyone made fun of and who blended into the wallpaper. She definitely didn't understand I still felt like that or a freak like Conner still does and grapples with. Hell, even in the future, her other self was condescending to me in my casual wear and only really turned on after I saved her life, did something super.

However, my biggest clue was that when I prepared her this big dinner on the DP roof, I flat out asked her if I was enough, just as Clark Kent and she didn't have an answer. Oh, I mean she did after a while, but the pause was far too long, her silence deafening. We broke up shortly after and I really should have know that she was only picking back up with me when a kiss before I died (I do that sometimes) let her know I was The Blur .

I just have no luck with women. Lana wanted me to be the farmboy she'd always known, save when the powers came in handy in the bedroom. Lois was impressed with the powers and didn't really see the man behind him, the awkward, scared kid I sometimes still am because, for the longest time, I never fit anywhere.

I thought I almost fit with her.

Sucks to be wrong.

Sucks worse not to have a place to live. The lease is in her name, and she asked me to move out. I have no real place to go, or I didn't until Chloe said I could stay in the Watchtower. She still owns it, willed to her by Jimmy and no one yet has any idea how he afforded to buy such a huge place. So I stay there, in the place that Jimmy died, Davis proved he was a killer all along, and where I'd betrayed Chloe's trust. It hurts that so many of my failures are here, but I sold my farm and it's all I have, that small bedroom above the command center. I haven't even told my mom or Conner yet that I've lost everything.

They're coming in from DC on an early flight tomorrow for the funeral at two. Mom had business to finish with the senate, and Conner...I think he needed time to adjust on his own, to be alone in his grief. Tess had been like a mother to him and, more accurately, partially his sister.

I just...nothing's the same and I have no idea what to do now.

No destiny, no higher calling, no life beyond the DP's basement and being the nerd everyone, even Cat Grant with her unicorn fetish, looks down on. I'm just so tired, not even physically though I find myself being that too. I don't have a place anymore. All my friends are fighting the good fight and I'm pretty much a road block for them.

Hell, it's why J'onn and Diana are sticking around because Kara gone to who knows when and I'm permanently out for the count.

Sitting in Watchtower, staring at the screens and watching my life go by, isolated and alone, hurts. I wish I'd realized it last year. Offered Chloe any type of comfort. I didn't know or maybe I was so gone on Lois I didn't care.

I'm not proud of it.

So, at least I can try making some amends. She's staying with Oliver at the presidential suite of The Excelsior , and they'll be staying there for a while, through the funeral, and they both promise through my "adjustment period," like that doesn't drip with pity. Still, I have nothing better to do than visit them and to try and cope.

I didn't realize that being in the 'tower was so desolate. I need a break. So I gather up my jacket-I'm pretty glad I saved my favorite red one-and started walking the ten blocks to the hotel, missing my superspeed all the way there.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Walking ten blocks was not at all what I thought it was going to be. It was sort of weird. It's not like I hadn't been without my powers before. I'd had a few temporary run-ins with that problem. The longest two times involved three weeks in a Russian work camp, and I still have no idea how I got there. The other was four whole months from May through until September where Jor-El, my father sort-of, had taken away my abilities as a punishment. So I'd learned or experienced a lot of the basic things, especially that summer. I'd learned the hard way rebuilding our barn to pay attention when I was hammering things. Also, it was definitely crucial to wear suntan lotion and lots of it, especially if spending time with my shirt off at Crater Lake. That was the worst mistake I'd probably made all summer. I peeled for a week and couldn't even lay on my back to sleep.

Not fun.

There were other things I hadn't cared for very much. It's not like I can't drive or didn't bother with it. After all it's convenient for carrying a lot of stuff or for ferrying other people around. It's not exactly like I can really do more than one passenger at a time. It was just a better option. Besides, there was always keeping up appearances to be conscientious about. Still, I sped around a lot. It was a great way to get chores done, not that I live on a farm anymore. It was also good for doing any thing around the house, especially cleaning my room, which I pretty much hate. Also, it's a real pain in the ass either walking everywhere or trying to find a place to park.

By the time I got to The Excelsior , I was actually limping pretty badly. It's not that I'd tripped or anything that dramatic. It's just, well, the last time I was mortal, I'd still been mainly a farm kid. I'd worn boots or sneakers constantly, anything comfortable. Ever since I started working at the Planet, though, I'd really changed how I'd dressed. The plaid went to the wayside, and even casually, I'd been preferring darker colors, anything to separate me from The Blur . At least now I could wear primary colors again, a small consolation. However, I should have factored into everything that I had a tendency to wear nicer shoes. I'd been pretty casual for Watchtower, just dark jeans, blue button down, and, well, turns out really uncomfortable shoes.

Ugh.

I'd be having blisters for a week.

Sighing, I made my way into the hotel's lobby, ignoring the stares of everyone as I inched to the counter. I was going to have to get a lot of new sneakers, mostly cause most of my old ones had been eaten by Shelby or were just too ancient to deal with. (Yes, I got Shelby in the separation, since Lois is allergic. He likes the Watchtower as much as I do, which is not at all.) When I got to the front desk, the concierge glared at me. Okay, so it was May and I'd worn a jacket that wasn't that smart either. I was sweaty, probably smelly, and walking weird. Catching my breath, I rang that little bell.

The man, and he had the same sort of air about him as Lionel Luthor (both versions) had, took my bell away from me. Jerk. "May I help you?"

"Ah, yeah, actually. I'm looking for Oliver and Chlo-I mean, Anne Queen. They're staying in the presidential suite. They're friends of mine."

"You don't say."

"I'm having an off day." Or life, it's about even on that. "So if you could just ring them up or give me a card to their room, that'd be great."

He clacked a few keys on the computer and then rolled his eyes. "There's a 'do not admit' on their reservation. Clearly they're not expecting you, Mr.?"

"Oh, Kent, Clark Kent?" I said, squinting back at him. Huh, maybe I legitimately needed glasses now. That was disappointing.

"Well, there's a no admit-"

"Yeah, I get that, but, if you could just call them. I've known Anne since I was thirteen. It'd really be okay."

"There's a-"

I shook my head and backed away awkwardly, about ready to burn my shoes. "Yeah, a do not admit list, gotcha." Sighing, I ambled over to the sofa and pulled out my cell phone. Chloe's number used to be the first number on my speed dial. Currently, she was fourth. Didn't that say a lot? Lois was top, mom was second mostly if Conner had an emergency powers problem, and Tess had been third for Watchtower updates. It really depressed me as I filed for my list. Lois had left me, I hadn't bothered with Conner in six weeks, and Tess was dead. Shaking my head, I punched her number.

And waited.

And waited.

And then cursed when all I got was her damn voice mail. Great, perfect. Scrolling down the list of contacts, I got to number five: Oliver. Dialing that, I waited for an answer. None came. That meant that he and Chloe were out doing something or, oh, if they were having a no admit thing, double oh. They were probably doing that .

Rolling my eyes, I called Chloe one last time at least to leave a second message. "Hey, it's me. I'm in the lobby just giving you all some space. They won't let me up, which is probably a good thing, considering, but when you do get this, could you let me up...I mean, when you're clothed and stuff. Clothes are good," I added lamely before the recording time cut me off.

Perfect.

Stretching out on the chair, I kept my phone out. At least I could play some Angry Birds while I waited. Not that I was really all that good at video games. Between the squinting-and I was really doing that a lot-and the loss of a lot of hand-eye coordination, I was pretty pathetic. Still it passed the time until a familiar hand was on my shoulder.

Chloe Sullivan (Anne Queen officially since 'Chloe' didn't exist anymore) was grinning down at me. Now, Chloe has about four smile speeds. One is genuine where it's her mouth closed but her smile lines present. Two is super wide and she's usually bouncing up at the time, like when I delivered the toys for her at Christmas about five years ago. Three, is where her eyes dart around a lot and you can tell she's lying to save face. Four's more rare, really, it's wide too, but she shows about a million teeth with it. That's the one I was getting now. Not the super happy grin but the "everything's gonna be just fine" pitying one.

Technically, I was just normal now, more or less. I wasn't actually dying.

"Hey, I'm so sorry. Ollie and I...well your message was really awkward."

"I'm sorry. I just assumed-" I replied, floundering with my hands.

She rolled her eyes and her smile turned into a frown. "We were at lunch downtown and had our phones off cause it's not the type of place where you just let it ring. When we got back in the limo, I turned mine on, saw two calls from you, played the voice message out loud and then Oliver turned purple. Like I said, really embarrassing."

"Sorry. There's this no admit list and I thought that it was a personal thing."

"He has his Green Arrow stuff up there," she whispered. "There's my comm link to Watchtower too and contact info for Bruce and Diana. It isn't a place we want the maids touching. It's not sexual."

"Oh!"

"Yeah."

I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair, pushing my bangs off my forehead. "Sorry, I would have...well that is to say before I would have just sped up there and been done with it. Easy to slip past security. Today? Not even walking that well."

"Can I ask why?" she said, sitting down on the chair beside mine.

"I'm an idiot? Uncomfortable shoes plus ten city blocks equals blisters I'm really gonna feel like crazy tomorrow." And, yes, I'd had blisters before from helping dad rebuild the barn and house. Those had been on my hands after my first few days of digging and forgetting to wear gloves with the shovel handle. That said, I was thinking having them on my heels was worse cause at least last time I could walk fine.

Chloe defaulted back to smile number four and patted my shoulder. "Sneakers, check, and maybe less clothes in May. Sweating now, remember?"

"Yeah, I sort of gathered that with people keeping a wide circle around me."

"Tougher than it looks, right?"

I snickered. "You suck sometimes at pep talks, Chlo. You were mostly amused over senior year summer. I didn't find it at all fun."

"I know, but, well, you had an option to get everything back. I was trying to be encouraging."

"Yeah, I sort of get that. Right now the whole thing sucks."

"It's only been five days," she countered.

"Yeah and then there's the rest of my life," I countered and maybe I was pouting just a little. "I've barely moved into Watchtower. I got all the wedding gifts by default so I have to write long, really weird thank you notes covering the weirdness and return everything. Mom's coming in on a morning flight with Conner and I really have no interest in explaining any of this to them because mom is going to freak out. Also, I think I need glasses!"

"Real ones?"

"Yeah, those. Apparently I'm a little blind."

She frowned. "Wait, Martha was at the wedding. How does she not know?"

"I lied and told her it was a twenty-four hour thing. Technically, at the time, I thought it might come back but Emil pretty much squashed that theory."

"Ouch, she's going to kill you."

"For being mortal?"

"No," she sighed. "For lying to her. She's like that."

"Yeah, I am a little bit overwhelmed. I mean, at least I still have a job and an income. That didn't change, and you've been really nice to let me have the bedroom at Watchtower. Although why J'onn and Ollie had to help me move the bed to the upstairs, I really don't get that."

Chloe blushed and looked away. It didn't take me long to do that math. "Oh that's, wow."

"Well we bought fresh sheets!"

"That helps," I muttered, not even sure why the idea of that was so disturbing, besides the obvious. Chloe was just my best friend after all and whatever made her happy made me happy, always had.

"Sorry, we weren't going to tell you. Ollie can buy you a new bed."

"I'd really appreciate that. That's a little much."

"Done deal," she replied, looking at her watch. "Since we already had lunch, well, I'm actually headed over to The Metropolis Journal ."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her and then thought better of it. It's really not a good look on me, sort of gives the impression I'm a little slow. "Why?"

"Well, Ollie and I are going to be here for an indeterminate period. He can run his business, what's left of it, from here, and I can work for any paper. I have a good record under this name at The Register . It just seemed like a good idea while Diana adjusts."

"And me, you mean."

"Well, yeah, to be honest. Wonder Woman's sort of new around here and Diana's a little colorful."

"I'll say," I replied, thinking of how stilted she was, probably an Amazon thing.

"Yeah and the city needs a protector. It's not as bad as Gotham-"

"But I used to do a lot."

"Yeah, so between us, I figured Diana, Ollie, and I could cover."

"You hate Watchtower."

"Oh, I do, but we worked out a system. J'onn and Emil are going to split some shifts with me and I get to keep the day job and the husband bit. None of that living it 24/7 crap. I mean, even Tess was at the DP a lot," she said, growing quiet at the mention of the other woman's name.

I was silent for a moment, thinking about the funeral looming. "True, but why not the DP then?"

"Lex inherited it from Tess when she died. I won't work for Luthors-the evil kind-ever, not after all that crap with Lionel and Lex firing me the first time. The Journal's not as impressive but it's not owned by Satan so it'll do for the foreseeable future until we get everything settled and in place with Diana and Emil especially."

"Yeah, that's good," I said, feeling a little sad she didn't just start back at the basement. I'd rather be desk mates with her than the Hello Kitty explosion that was Cat.

She nodded and squeezed my hand. "Exactly, but if I don't go now, I'll be late and they'll never hire me."

"Oh, I'll take you," I offered before I realized how dumb that sounded.

"I tell you what," she said, after a too long pause. "I'll get the limo and you can ride with me. It'll be nice to have a friendly face in the waiting room, like a lucky charm you know."

"So like that dumb lemur?"

"Dr. Who was nice!" she said, laughing genuinely. "One sec, I'll get the concierge to call it up. No worries." With that she walked away, leaving me wondering when the Hell Chloe had become a limo kind of girl.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Okay, so I have been in a limo before. I had a not-a-date with Lana back when I was still a freshman in high school, but we only got as far as main street and that really didn't count. Otherwise, I had ridden a few times in town cars in D.C. with my mother, but I hadn't done a limo even at all in about ten years. I can admit that I was touching all the buttons and flipping through the TV. Also, I was totally abusing their soda policy.

Chloe rolled her eyes indulgently. "You've had three Mountain Dews in the space of twelve blocks."

"They're good for one. For another, they really are pepping me up after a long walk. Thirdly, we are stuck in some heavy midtown traffic and I need something to drink."

"Then you're going to have to pee like a racehorse and we're not stopping for one."

"Huh, hadn't really thought of that."

"Also, you are so crashing from the caffeine and sugar high later."

I blinked as if the words were foreign to me. Seriously, I'm not an idiot. I do get that. I just didn't realize that coffee wore off with a "crashing" effect. I knew sugar and caffeine didn't last forever. I'd seen my dad and Chloe guzzle more than enough over the years. Still, this crashing thing sounded ominous. "Define crashing?"

"Complete exhaustion and sometimes a headache unless you get a new fix. Lord knows I have that sometimes."

"Oh, well maybe I shouldn't go for my fourth."

She giggled and swept a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Probably not."

"So," I said. "Uh...Ollie has a nice limo. Nice everything really."

"Yeah, his company's in some trouble and his net worth fell quite a bit but he's managing. I'm not...this was never about the money."

"Of course it's not. You're not that type of girl, never have been."

She nodded and gave me Chloe smile number four again. Perfect, more pity. "Clark, it's been a whirlwind day and it's only three p.m. Lois dumped you by seven. You were moved in with Shelby and what you had by noon, and Ollie and I grabbed a late lunch before my interview. It's really okay if you need to talk about Lois. I've always been your 'Dear Abby' before and this has to hurt."

I swallowed and started cracking my knuckles, avoiding eye contact with her. "True. I...it really hurts, like can't breathe hurts. I really thought we were forever. This wasn't like with Lana at all. I was scared like always to talk about my powers and who I am, technically still, but she took it a lot better than Lana."

Chloe switched to smile three, eyes darting, and forced supportive in nature. "I know that. Sullivan-Lane girls are genuine. I love Lois like a sister. I guess she wasn't mature enough this time to deal with the loss. She has a ton of father issues with the General, who wasn't the greatest dad. If it makes you feel better, this might not be completely about you. It could be also about Lois's issues that she personally isn't enough and needs to feel needed for a higher calling, something to show off to her dad."

I shrugged and considered that. "Yeah, I always had an inkling underneath that might be the case. She seemed a lot more taken with The Blur a lot of the time. I don't know if she really understood Clark Kent, farm dork. I know she didn't back in high school and college. I think she assumed that part of me was gone once I put on the jacket."

"God, can I finally say now that we're back on an even keel that both jackets really sucked? I'm glad you're back to your stand by. It didn't seem right in the duster or in that stupid Fonzy number."

"I sent away for that!"

She quirked her head at me. "That's not very secret identity."

"Fake name, Mrs. Queen , and I just looked like a Blur superfan, you know."

"Still hideous," she said, patting me on the shoulder. "Old red is better."

"Uh-huh. Shows what you know about fashion."

She giggled again, genuinely relaxed. "I'm serious. Lois has mountains of issues. She wasn't really ready to get married to anyone. I should have known that when I visited her at the DP to talk her into marrying you."

"What?" I asked. I had no idea Chloe had done that.

She shrugged. "It felt even. Even if we all forgot it, on the tape you were helping Ollie, even paying for the ring. I knew Lois was important to you-probably still is-and I wanted you to be happy."

"Yeah, that's how I feel about you. You are happy with Oliver right? I know your last marriage basically sucked."

"Jimmy didn't turn out to be the best guy in the end, no," she finished and left it at that. "But yeah, Oliver gets me and that's really amazing."

"I get you! We're best friends."

"But we weren't really for like almost two years. I'm not who I was when you walked out of Watchtower, Clark, and I don't know if you understand that."

Maybe I didn't. I still thought of her as the girl from the DP and from Isis who did everything for me, who had given me that phone call from on the run with Davis.

"I can try now; I have tons of time on my hands."

She smiled and squeezed my hand for a second. "I'd like that."

"I just...it hurts knowing you weren't good enough for someone to love."

"Lois did love you, I believe that. I just think she loved the powers and Kryptonian half more. That's not...she's not a bad person."

"Well she never used my powers against me to kick the crap out of me like Lana or stole ten million dollars either," I conceded. (Between Alicia and Lana my track record with dating has been spotty at best.)

"I think her taking a break-"

"Oh she made it clear this morning it's done-done."

"Oh," Chloe's face fell. "I think it's best. If she knows this isn't going to work this early, it's really going to spare both of you a lot of pain."

I sighed and looked out the window, tired of the conversation. Brainiac Five had basically promised me everything on a silver platter and, yeah, I can admit part of the engagement thing was because it was a guaranteed slam dunk. But now nothing was ever going to be the same again and rejection on all levels really hurt. Lois was right and now I'd never be the same guy. Besides, the same thing was true with my best friend. Oliver had hundreds of millions of dollars still, even if his stock had fallen. I had about three thousand dollars in the bank after buying the ring and helping pay for part of the wedding. It just wasn't the same thing.

"I guess. I wish I'd listened to you."

She was quiet for a long time, probably staring out the window herself as we pulled up finally in front of The Journal . "It really hurt that you thought I was some jealous shrew, Clark. I'd never humiliate you like that. I got over those feelings long ago, and Ollie helped with that a lot. I'm happy now, and I just wanted to save you. That's my unofficial job you know."

"And if I'd really trusted you, I'd still be The Blur ."

"Probably," she said, getting out of the car. She was rushing to the interview because traffic made her late, but it still left me to limp to the elevator alone.

I had made it very slowly to my destination and was shocked to see "Mrs. Queen" smiling broadly and thanking the mustached, bespectacled man who had to be her new editor. Obviously, inching to the elevator had taken longer than I'd thought. It was obvious from her body language she'd gotten the job. It was only on the fifth floor, but it was more than the basement job I had. Not a private office and the Tiffanies yet like her cousin, but the rate that "Anne" was working her way up from The Register and into The Journal was impressive. She'd be top dog in no time.

When we were both outside the offices, she gave me a big hug. "I got it!"

"I could tell," I replied, letting her go again, even if I didn't really want to. It wouldn't be fair to Ollie to cling to her any longer. "So when do you start?"

"I explained I'd been friends with Tess Mercer and they had respect for a fellow editor. As a result, I get the rest of the week off. I start Monday, actually. I have this article on possible corruption in the Central Park Zoo's animal rescue program."

"Beats pigeons," I replied, following her to the elevator slowly.

"Definitely. Do you want to come along? I can do it in the afternoon so that you'll be done your stuff on City Hall."

"Oh sure. That'd be kind of fun."

"Perfect. Hey," she said, checking her watch. "I have to go. I feel really crappy about that, but I'm helping Diana find an apartment in the city and trying to explain to her how to keep a low profile. I'm responsible since I called her in and begged her to stay. Besides, I do owe her a ton for teaching me hand-to-hand combat."

That explained a lot about her pretty much kicking Dinah's feathers in the virtual world.

"Cool, I can just take a taxi home then."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll have the driver take you to Watchtower and I'll just walk the few blocks to where she's looking."

"Uh," I said, pointing at her shoes."

Chloe laughed and pulled out sneakers from her large purse. "Trade secret. This is how we survive."

Huh, that made a lot more sense than the agony I was in. I needed to start taking some notes on the human stuff.

"Hey Clark! Why are you sleeping on the couch in Watchtower."

"Ugh, sleeping," I muttered, trying to shut out Conner's voice. I hadn't been expecting him. Groggily and with my caffeine-induced headache still beating through my brain, I eyed my watch. It was still seven-thirty and Tess's funeral was at two. I had some time to sleep more before I showered and got on my dress clothes.

Conner humphed and pulled up a chair, one that squeaked and shrieked the entire time he pulled it across the floor. I shuddered. "Dude, seriously, what's going on?"

"Well," I said, sitting up deciding that with my "little brother" asking a ton of questions sleep was done for the day. "At least I'm up."

Conner's not actually my brother, but it's a lot more comfortable for me to think of him like that. He's really only seven years younger than I am and, well, he's sort of this genetic cross between me and Lex Luthor of all people. So, yeah, I guess technically I was more like his dad, but I just couldn't process that. So little brother it was. It made Tess's funeral extra hard on him though. Not only had she raised and protected him like a son; genetically, she'd also been his family.

"Duh. No seriously, did you and Lois have a fight?"

I sighed and rubbed my aching temples. "She kicked me out. I'm having a really shitty week, and, to answer your question, there is a bed upstairs but Chloe and Oliver defiled it more than once so I'm sleeping on the sofa and dealing with a crink in my neck."

Conner laughed. "You can't get crinks in your neck. Joy of super powers." Then he frowned. "Wait, mom said you had all that trouble with the gold Kryptonite ring." (Again, easier to call her "mom" than "grandma" and mom didn't want to feel that old yet anyway.)

"Well, that's true, yeah. That's why I sat out the Darkseid fight."

"But you're okay now, right? Mom said it was a twenty-four hour thing and that you called her and said you were fine on Sunday morning."

"I may have fibbed a tiny bit."

Conner gaped at me. "How much did you fib?"

"Okay, so I might have, you know, been stripped of my powers forever."

"No way!"

"Well, at the time, I thought it wouldn't be permanent. I'd get some sleep and wake up just fine. However, that's not how it worked. I had Emil check me out. I can't ever process sunlight the way you do again."

"Like ever-ever?"

"Yup," I said, blinking up at him. Caffeine really sucked.

"Are you squinting?"

"Ugh, a little. I think I need glasses. I'll have to look into those tomorrow after the all the funeral and wake things are squared away."

"I...yeah. I didn't even know you were here. I came to Watchtower while mom stayed at the hotel- The Excelsior by the way."

"Figures," I muttered.

"Yeah, but this place, being part of the team, it meant so much to her. This was really like her home because she'd never had a real family, except for maybe me. I'm going to get Lex arrested and sent away for good if it's the last thing I do."

"That's the spirit," I said, relieved he didn't want Luthorian justice, which always equaled murder.

"But I really didn't expect this."

"Me neither. I never should have put the ring on or noticed it was not the real one or something. This really sucks."

"Understatement. You don't even look good in glasses."

"Well, the Buddy Holly frames did serve a purpose."

"And the trench coat and bad hair, yeah I get that. It's an under the radar thing. However, maybe you can be less nerdy now. Nothing to hide."

"I wouldn't really trade that for our abilities. I...being normal is a lot harder than it looks."

"I don't remember before, when I was Alexander, but I assume you're right," Conner admitted. "So when are you telling mom?"

"Maybe after the services if I can help it," I replied, standing up to grab a dog food can for Shelby. If I was up, I really needed to make sure he got fed as well.

Conner noticed how slowly I moved. "You okay?"

"Blisters from walking in my nice shoes. I can make it but wearing nice stuff to Tess's service is going to be a pain."

Conner nodded. "I...I wish I could have been the one to give her eulogy. I think Emil will do a nice job. She really liked working with him."

I'll say, but I doubted Conner had ever heard of their extra curricular activities. He probably shouldn't; I certainly wasn't going to tell him. Doling out a healthy portion of the meat paste into his dish, I set it down by the sofa and whistled for Shel. He made it down the stairs even slower than I was moving this morning. He's about fourteen now and I know he doesn't have much time left, but he's about the best friend I ever had, save for Chloe. I was going to be so sad to see him go.

Shelby went straight to his bowl and started lapping up his breakfast in record time. Conner scratched his ears as he did it.

"I know. We are going to miss her. She turned out to be a really good person. I...I know it's hard. I felt this way about my dad, and if you need anything, well, I've sort of been a shitty big brother."

"Or clone daddy," Conner said breezily. "Mom's awesome and I get you weren't really up to visit much except when I got the freeze breath thing. I mean, you had Darkseid's evil, Lionel around, and all the wedding stuff. You were pretty damn busy."

I really didn't want to mention that I'd basically ignore my responsibility to him for six weeks to deal with setting up a dream apartment with Lois and with preparing for the wedding. Darkseid really hadn't been too much on my mind. Again, big mistake.

"Yeah," I said, moving on. "But to answer your question, I want to try waiting for tomorrow. Mom's going to freak."

"Definitely. She's like that, plus you totally lied to her."

"Yeah, Chloe pointed that out."

"She's still in town? I thought her and Oliver lived in Star City."

"They do normally, but they're here to help my 'adjustment period.'" I said, sighing.

"Oh, that's weird. I was thinking of doing the same thing. School's basically out because I took my APs and it's a week of watching movies and stuff until prom. However, I figured you could use a hand now that the city has no Blur."

"The Manhunter and some new person named Wonder Woman-"

"Really?"

"Yup and she basically has most of our powers, anyway. They're covering a lot of it, plus Ollie and Chloe doing a lot of the Watchtower stuff."

Conner drew quiet and stared at Tess's desk. "I know, but let me stick around. I mean, you helped me figure out my abilities, except for flight."

"Yeah," I said, wistfully. "I wish I'd figured that one out before I lost the chance to do it."

"Well, I didn't mean to rub it in. I only meant that if you taught me how to be Kryptonian, I can at least be here when you are learning to be a regular guy. We're related in a weird ass way, after all."

That actually was a really nice offer after I'd been really shitty to him. Besides, I got the feeling working with Justice and being where Tess had been, taking on her mission, would make Conner feel better and not fall into depression.

"Okay, sounds good."

"Cool. So yeah, mom's gonna kill you."

"Maybe not," I defended.

"Clark Jerome Kent!" mom said, taking that minute to storm through the double doors. Her tone was enough to send Shelby scurrying back upstairs. "I just got here from going to your apartment. What is going on?"

"Told you!" Conner chirped and he was way too perky about the metaphorical ass-kicking I was about to get.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Okay so let me explain. My mom has never once done anything like corporal punishment on me in my life. Dad either except that one time we fought in Metropolis and he dragged me home. Even if I could have been physically punished, and, yeah, I wasn't invulnerable until I was about fourteen, mom and dad weren't those kind of people. They didn't believe in it. That said, mom has that fiery redhead thing going on and can cow people as intense and arrogant as Lionel Luthor or other senators. She just has authority. So really, if you think about it, me putting Conner between me and mom as a human (Kryptonian really) shield, wasn't that unmanly. Even The Blur can be a little nervous around his mom.

Right?

"Conner. Upstairs, now and shut the door to the bedroom. Don't you dare think about using your hearing."

"Mom this is just getting good."

"Conner Kent now."

He huffed a bit and then was just gone. It wasn't even a blur, more like a blink. Huh, that was annoying. Being sped off on kind of sucked.

"Now," mom said, glaring at me, her hands on her hips. "You're going to explain exactly what's happening and why you decided to lie to me about everything being fine on the phone?"

"I didn't lie, exactly. I just was creative with the truth."

"Don't even try it," she replied, shaking her head. "I went over to your apartment to take you and Lois to breakfast and I find your stuff missing and Lois not wearing her ring saying you'd moved to Watchtower during your transition. Explain."

"Uh, well, you see, the thing is that-"

"Clark."

"Right," I said looking down at the floor. "I might have lost my powers permanently because of the gold Kryptonite ring."

My mom stumbled like she'd been tripped. I reached out and steadied her. I am still a six foot plus guy and pretty broad, like that Bruce guy. I wasn't exactly helpless, just not me either. "What?"

"Well, yeah, Emil did a check up the day after when my powers didn't come back liked I hoped they would and basically my cells are fried. I can't process sunlight like I used to."

"Did you talk to Jor-El?"

I nodded. "That was my second stop. He said he was disappointed in me, that it was not what he expected, and I was released from my destiny. I think he implied a lot it was good that J'onn was around to pick up my slack. He assured me that gold Kryptonite was permanent and there was nothing he could do, which was why I should have been more careful with Darkseid and his prophets."

"I...oh Clark," she said, reaching out to stroke my cheek. "You're sure?"

"Pretty much. He also closed off the portal. I guess if Conner wants to 'see dad' he can speed there, but my access got cut off."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I had been nicer to the Fortress lately after the hologram program had been so nice and it hadn't killed Lois. Hell, I'd come to show off Lois to him and get his approval. Of course, then he gave her my powers, put us both in danger, and basically been a dick about all those stupid tests. Yeah, I wasn't a hundred percent sure this wasn't another "test," but since Darkseid had done it to me and not Jor-El, it probably wasn't a lie. Besides, Tess in the alternate world had looked for a scar on my arm. I don't scar but apparently he had because of gold Kryptonite.

"I just, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want to worry you." I shrugged. "There's nothing I can do about it. It just is what it is. I'm not sick or anything, just mortal, I guess, is the best analogy. You have a life in D.C. and Conner to take care of now. I was going to tell you, just when I could ease you into it."

"That's not how being a parent works. I thought after a couple days with Conner here in Smallville, you were beginning to understand that."

"But I didn't want to hurt you. Frankly, this whole mess is my fault. I did it to myself. I didn't stop Darkseid or been proactive about it when I should have because of the wedding and then just assumed when Chloe seemed to go bonkers at the wedding it was jealousy. I put the fucking thing on and I have to deal with it."

"Language."

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry," I said, looking back up at her. Her eyes were too shiny and I figured she was fighting back tears for what I'd lost.

I hugged her. She, like Chloe and unlike Lois, is so short and tiny. It was easy to envelope her and draw her head to under my chin. "I'm gonna be okay, alright? I'm just not The Blur anymore. I mean, this could be a good thing. I always wanted to be more normal."

"But this isn't like before. Jor-El isn't punishing you; no one can fix this. The world really needed you."

"But it has Conner soon and The Martian Manhunter. It even has this new woman who has a lot of similar powers named Wonder Woman."

Mom pulled away and blinked up at me. "Really?"

"Yeah, she helped stop the Apokolips planet from crashing into Earth. She can fly and is really, really strong. Maybe even as strong as I used to be. There's the League. It's not going to be like the world's vulnerable. I...Chloe promised she, Ollie, Diana, and J'onn would work a schedule to protect Metropolis at least until Diana was ready."

I shrugged and kept my voice even. I really wanted mom not to worry even if the last six days had made me feel like shit. "Yeah. The city's going to be safe. There are people on deck to do what I could. It's going to be alright."

"Do you need me to stay here for a while?"

"You have your duty and it's going to be a re-election year for 2012. I want you to keep doing what you do. You helped do so much good overturning the VRA. People believe in you too."

She nodded. "But you're my priority still, always have been."

I sighed. "Conner is thinking of coming out here because his school is basically over. Chloe's here and Ollie. I have, uh, a 'support system' for lack of a better term. I'll call you every night and be honest about this, promise, but I can't make you lose your career. I won't."

She sighed and rubbed my right shoulder. "We'll try it. I'll be calling Chloe every night too for a report. So don't even try lying."

"So Chloe's your spy?"

"Definitely. You've always needed her and I'm glad she's going to be in town for this."

"Yeah she even transferred to The Journal for a while."

"That's great honey," Mom replied, still with her tone a bit forced. "Besides, she can help dole out punishment. I'm thinking cleaning the Watchtower with a toothbrush."

I laughed. She didn't. "Oh you're kidding right?"

"Not at all. That should teach you how not to lie to me. Ollie and Chloe will both here to watch you do it."

"That sucks."

"Don't lie again; this should be an object lesson. That covered, then why are you living here? Why did Lois...did you all fight?"

I leaned against the sofa and pinched the bridge of my nose. "She said she didn't want to be with just Clark Kent, that she wanted in part to be the support for The Blur , and that's why she said yes. She gave me the ring back over breakfast and asked me to pack my stuff. I didn't argue much. She was already getting cold feet the night before our wedding."

"Oh Clark, I thought-"

I sighed. "Yeah me too. I thought she was the one. Well I guess I have to learn to...I dunno, maybe I can just..." I trailed off lamely.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I'd had horrible luck now with Alicia, Lana, and Lois, especially when I thought for a while-or forced myself too-that she loved me for just me, the dorky farm kid part. I had been woefully wrong.

"I'm sorry, baby. I am so sorry."

"Yeah, she at least gave me the ring back. I can't return it but I can probably get some money out of it anyway; I could use it from helping to pay for the not-wedding. She also gave me the heart necklace back. I've got it upstairs in my room. I'll just go-"

Conner was back downstairs before I could even blink, smiling and handing mom the necklace. "Found it!"

"You've listened in to the whole thing, haven't you."

"It was going to be interesting so I had to."

"You Conner, can help your brother with the toothbrush scrubbing if you're stay and it is going to be in regular speed."

"Mom!" he objected, eyes wide.

"Now you know how I feel."

"Tess was a beautiful person, brave and selfless. The sacrifices she made, no one will really know how much she gave, not just to The Daily Planet or to LuthorCorp but to a higher calling. She was a woman with purpose. I wish I could tell everyone what she's done, but I'd be here all day listing her acts of fortitude and kindness," Emil said, taking a deep breath, his voice wavering. "She was my friend. I had such a hard time living my life after my wife died, although she wasn't like that with me. She was supportive. Because of her, I started to sing again, just like my wife always loved. I'll never forget her for that. She'll be sorely missed by so many people because she touched many lives. Maybe even she didn't know how many. Goodbye Tess," he finished, brushing his hand over her casket and then dropping one white rose onto it.

Conner was buried in mom's side, crying liberally. Oliver was tearing up as was Chloe, which surprised me a little, since she'd known Tess the least of any of us. Maybe it was Watchtower solidarity, I wasn't sure. The members of the League who'd come, and many had out of uniform of course, were in very states of sniffling or wiping suspiciously at their eyes. I stood there stoic, not really a crier, not even at dad's funeral. As mourners moved forward to put bits of earth on the coffin, I held back. I'd been to so many funerals over the years since college-my dad's, Lionel's, Carter's, Jimmy's and now Tess's. I had spent so much time at this cemetery among others; it made me feel sick, thinking of the price so many people paid for this war we waged, for protecting me and the people I loved.

"Clark," mom prodded coming up to me. I noticed J'onn was holding her hand and I had no idea how to process that. She'd broken up with Perry over Christmas but I didn't...J'onn had to just be playing nice, that was all. "It's time to get in line, honey. You have to say goodbye."

I followed her, slinging an arm around Conner for support and taking my own bit of earth in my hands. Dropping the handful bit by bit, letting it rain down, I whispered, "Goodbye Tess, thank you for protecting my secret."

Was it ironic that I no longer had one?

Swallowing that fact bitterly, I waited for Conner to do his duty, and didn't listen to whatever he said. It was private. He was crying on my shoulder then and I let him, supporting my brother out of the line, promising I'd be there for him as I hadn't been before.


	5. Chapter 5

5

After the wake at Watchtower, I was left alone with mom, J'onn and Conner. He and I were sitting in my room in the two armchairs on the side of the bed. Until Oliver replaced the current bed, even with new sheets, neither of us felt comfortable sitting on it. He wasn't sobbing anymore, just crying quietly, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Conner, can I...uh, ask you something about mom?"

He looked up at me and rubbed his eyes with his sleeves. "Yeah, totally."

"Good because she and J'onn were downstairs and I just wanted to know-."

"And that's the answer. She and J'onn have been seeing each other since February. I thought you knew that."

I had really been out of it. "Are you serious?"

"Oh yeah, he's really worldly, pun not intended, and they get along well, although, he may be dating her for her ability to make awesome Oreo cream cake."

"You're kidding right? You're saying this just to make me freak out to release some tension."

"Nope, mom's totally dating him."

"Please tell me he never spends the night." It might be a little petty of me but I just saw my mom and J'onn with green skin and red eyes and it was such a world of wrong that I couldn't begin to deal with. "She does know he's a shape shifter right?"

"Well it's not like he goes around green-skinned. Besides, mom likes aliens, good for us, right?"

"My life could not fall apart harder. My fiance dumped me, I lost my powers, and now my mom and J'onn are going out. This has been a really shitty week."

Conner patted my shoulder. "Look on the bright side. Mom's too old to have a little martian."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. I'm like mini-you."

I rolled my eyes, that was so creepy. Thank you Cadmus labs. "True. I just...well if making me squirm takes your mind off of Tess, then it's worth it."

Conner sighed and started to sniffle a little. "She took care of me. She was the first person to tell me I wasn't a freak and love me anyway. What Lex probably did was so awful. She was our sister."

"I know, Conner, but the Luthors have a history of killing their own family. Lionel murdered his parents for insurance money. Lillian smothered Julian Luthor to death, and Lex killed Lionel and now maybe Tess. It's almost like a family legacy."

"My family is so fucked up. No offense, but I'm half alien and half patricidal asshat."

"None taken. Just because you're a Luthor doesn't make you bad. It didn't mean Tess was, all things being equal. She was a good person and you're pretty awesome, except when you make me squirm."

"Well naturally."

I squeezed his shoulder. It was a little like trying to knead granite. "We'll get through this. Tess...she wouldn't have wanted you to be miserable. I know she wouldn't. She worked hard to give you as normal and loving life as possible. It was really important to her."

Conner nodded. "I know, and I'm going to do that."

"Good."

Somehow, I really should have seen this coming. After all, I was taking my turn being the universe's butt monkey. I wasn't just starting a new job and couldn't delay going back to the Planet. The day after Tess's funeral, the newspaper reopened and I was back on the job. Not that the job was that glamorous or involved a floor with actual windows or a partner who didn't wear all pink. Still, it paid the rent and that was good enough for me. Besides, I'd worked very hard to actually blend into everything. It was my own secret that had kept me from advancing. I didn't have to worry about that anymore. Maybe I could work my way up.

Lex called me into the editor's office at eleven a.m. I was sweating, large drips pouring down my face, when he did that. Irrationally, even if Chloe had reassured me that Lex's condition was as permanent as my own, I assumed he remembered who I actually was and decided to call the Men In Black out on me.

"Mr. Kent," he started and I'd heard this tone before when he'd had angry calls with people over the phone at his plants. Lex didn't do yelling, he did a menacing drawl.

God, I was going to die and I wasn't even that much of an alien anymore.

"Yes, sir?" And yeah did that chafe.

"The Planet is having budget cuts. I think you understand that, considering the lack of ad revenue for print papers. It's interesting to me, how close you were to my late sister. Some of your articles on the VRA, frankly, were beyond biased in favor of disbanding it. We don't appreciate that."

"I...are you firing me?"

"Then imagine my surprise when you'd been hired by Tess based on no college record beyond a semester of junior college and dropping out. You're not qualified for a paper of this size."

"Lois Lane dropped out of high school!" I countered, maybe I was a little bitter. Sue me.

"And she won awards with her coverage of Jaime Reyes and the Blue Beetle. Her name carries a cache that your biased stance and kitten show articles do not. You have three hours to clean out your desk. Personnel will take care of your severance package."

"Would this be happening if Tess and I hadn't been friends."

Lex smiled slowly. "I guess you'll never know."

The stupid box was heavy. My arms ached by the time I carried it up the stairs (the elevator was out) and gotten into a cab. I was already calling Chloe, and for the second time in three days, it went to voice mail. I swore at the phone. Maybe I shouldn't have screened so many of her calls two years ago. This lack of communication really sucked.

I dialed Ollie instead, a bit happier when I reached him. "Oliver?"

"Yeah, Clark, I'm about to go into a board meeting. What's up?"

"Where's Chloe?"

"Yeah, I miss you too, buddy."

"You know what I mean. This is a full emergency!"

"Okay, is Darkseid still around? Is it Lex? Something else apocalyptic."

"No! I got fired!"

Oliver sighed. "She's currently at Watchtower. She's got the shift today to do city monitoring, all week actually before her job starts up. I thought you knew that."

"She didn't mention it. I was pretty busy with Conner and mom last night anyway. Huh, well that's good. I have even more freaking free time now."

"Well, since I pay for the whole thing, and took over the lease after Jimmy died, you can stay as long as you like, rent free. It's not like we'd shut down Watchtower if you didn't come up with the 1800 a month."

I blanched. "Are you kidding me?"

"A little. Clark, relax. You have an apartment with probably the best view in the city and more hardware than twenty best buys. It's not a box under and overpass."

"I really wish I hadn't sold the farm."

Oliver sighed again. "Well, at least you have friends in high places. You've been there for me a lot when my life was on the skids. Anything you need. I almost wished I had owned a newspaper to get you into. I can't really buy one now since the board's at my throat. I...maybe Chloe can see if she can swing something at the Journal."

"She just started." And I was whining, I knew that.

"Well, you never know. The editor was impressed with her resume. I mean, she might get you on somewhere."

"I hope so," I said.

"Clark, like I said, you're our friend. I'll take you out for a drink tomorrow, okay? Then we'll game plan this, but I have to go."

"Alright, I-"

Oh, he hung up on me.

Perfect.

"Chloe!" I shouted, walking into the Watchtower, my arms overloaded with my giant box. "It's horrible."

She looked up from her desk and the laptop on it. "Can it wait? I'm tracking something on my satellite."

I blinked but sat down at the chair across from her desk, on the second floor of the 'Tower. "You have a satellite?"

"Yeah, Oliver bought me one as a present a year ago. Nothing says love like a personal surveillance center."

"He bought you a satellite?" I repeated. "Wow!"

Chloe smiled and closed her laptop. "Meh, South America isn't rife with evil today. What's up?"

I pointed to the box I'd left on my bed/sofa. "I got fired."

"Lex fired you?"

"Yes!" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Lex said I didn't have the right qualifications, that I didn't have a college education."

"You don't. At least I finished Met U with night classes in three years. I have my diploma."

"I've been at the Planet three years."

"Except for the VRA, your articles have been negligible," she admitted. "And the VRA stuff was obvious you hated it."

"I did! It put me on the run."

She sighed and tented her fingers. "Clark, I love you. I mean, you're a great friend."

Ouch, oddly that hurt.

"However, you're really under qualified for your job. I always assumed Tess kept you around to spy on you at first."

I frowned. "You think I'm incompetent."

"No, I think you don't have the education you need. Technically, you only went through senior year of high school and finished that. It's not enough especially when jobs at papers are disappearing."

"You agree with Lex?"

"In this case, and since he doesn't even know you from Adam, maybe I do. You're a great writer, have a lot of natural talent, but you're still rough. You can tell you never had a formal education in journalism."

"But Lois-"

"Has had some really big name pieces. Clark, you just have to think about things. Maybe go back to school or something. I mean work by day and do community college at night. Tons of people do that. Hell, even Met U has a returning students program."

"I'm twenty-four!"

"Well, then you can be with people six years younger, deal with that."

I shook my head. "You're not being very supportive. I just lost my career!"

She eyed me and her expression was stony. "Oh, I'm sorry. When I got fired by Lex for keeping you safe, you had about one half-hearted 'I'm sorry' and then were asking me to hack like Hell for saving Lana. I mean just I'm sorry and you were done consoling me. Frankly, Lex was right to fire you. You aren't ready for the DP. At least I was."

"Wow."

"Yeah," she replied stiffly. "I've never regretted our mission, even when Jimmy died. I mean that. We save the world all the time, but it took me over three years to get my career even partially back on track and it might be a decade before I can get back to the Planet, maybe never if Lex continues to own it because I will not work for him."

"I know."

"So, Clark, do like everyone else and actually get your qualifications. Until then, well, you'll find something so you can buy groceries and like pay Shelby's food and vet bills."

"Yeah, so, uh, Oliver said that you might be able to help me with The Journal personnel people cause the editor was so impressed with you."

She sighed. "I'll see what I can do. I am sorry you lost your job, believe me it sucks. However, now you know how I felt. Welcome to the 'Lex Luthor fired me' club." She stood up then and grabbed her green leather jacket. "Oliver and I are going patrolling together. He's teaching me more about how to shoot his knock out gas arrows. Just because Diana taught me hand-to-hand and Bruce taught me marksmanship, I want to be good at everything."

"Makes sense," I said, glumly. "I just thought we'd hang out more."

She held up her left hand, showing me the ring I'd technically bought. "I'm busy and I'm about to go out and kick evil's ass. It's a fun date night. I'll see you later, okay?"

"So no more commiserating."

"Three years to claw my way back, Clark. Deal." She said, stalking out the door.

Huh, maybe I'd hit a nerve.

"You're fucking kidding me!" I said, ignoring the looks of all the other Journal staff. I was meeting Chloe at the lunch room on Monday in order to go with her to the Central Park Zoo and look at her corruption in animal care story. "I am not going to be on the janitorial staff."

"Yeah, you really are, Clark. You didn't finish college. You barely started it. You got fired by Lex Luthor of all people who, to be petty, blacklisted you because you and his sister were good friends. This is the best you can do."

"Mail room! I'll do that. I can totally do that."

"That's the grunt work for kids fresh out of college. If you had graduated from Central Kansas, sure you could start with the twenty-two year olds, but you didn't bother. Clark, you have to have a job. You had the brilliant idea to sell the farm so you can't sell produce to make rent. You can't get hired as a writer at any paper in the city. You don't have the credentials in the recession for anything even close to white collar and no experience in food service or retail. What exactly would you do?"

"I am not cleaning toilets. There has to be something else."

"If you can find something, be my guest. Otherwise, this is the best you got. Shelby is getting awfully old. He's going to need to see the vet a lot more. Cab fare and subway tickets aren't free, and, well, you still eat a lot cause you're a tall guy. If you want to do these things, you're going to have to get a job."

I pouted. This was not going to happen. I'd been a superhero. I was not dumping garbage cans and dealing with stopped up toilets. No way. "What about Oliver? I can do mail room at his company."

"He just got back to making the board happy. He really fucked things up by going public. He'd never get up enough good will to just do even one arbitrary hiring position. Your mom can make you an intern but that's about it. This is the best shot you've got if you want to stay in Metropolis. At least you don't have to pay rent."

"Yeah, perfect. I don't even like the Watchtower! It's kind of creepy at night and you had sex in the bed and I really don't like it."

"No farm," she replied simply, biting into her Caesar salad. "Clark, this is your lot in life. Welcome to the human race and the economy in the worst recession since the 1920s."

"This sucks."

She sighed and softened a little. "I'm sorry. I'm not being very supportive. It's just, you're acting like you're too good for everything, and you're not. You made these choices-not finishing college, selling your farm and source of income, putting on that ring. You just...you got yourself here."

"I know."

She patted my hand with her left one. I glared at the ring and large engagement one complete with diamond that Oliver had gotten her. "Don't worry. Ollie and I, the League and your mom. We have your back. Now let's get to the zoo."

Yeah, that'd make me feel better.

I was glaring at Chloe. Really glaring at her. If I had heat vision still, I'd be seriously tempted to singe her hair just a little. No one would even notice. Since she'd basically chopped it all off, it looked like immortal Hell. She'd probably have thanked me.

"No Chloe, absolutely not. You cannot bring that into the Watchtower."

Chloe patted Lucky the Lemur (she'd been lobbying to change his name to Dr. Who) who was sitting on her shoulder. "He's adorable. After Fortune went to jail he got sent to that Hell hole I'm shutting down in Central Park. He's lost a lot of his fur! How can you be so heartless."

"How do you even know it is Lucky?"

"I recognized him, plus it's in their records. You used to like him."

"I liked him when I was pretty drunk. Chloe, no way, he's kind of creepy and he can bite me now."

"He's not going to, are you Dr. Who?"

The lemur chattered a little but I didn't take that as a confirmation either way.

"No, what about Shelby? He'll eat Lucky."

"Conner's taking him. Your mom pulled strings and while Conner's staying there with Shelby, you and Dr. Who can be here."

"His name is always gonna be Lucky for one thing. For another, why does Conner get a suite at the best hotel in the city for the summer and I'm on the couch!"

"Your mom said this was good for you. That it'd teach you character. I think she's also still pissed you sold the farm."

"Well, gee, I'd buy it back but I'm unemployed."

"Uh-huh, Lucky's my friend," she said, stroking his tail. "He's going to be staying, so get used to it."

The lemur took that chance to jump onto my shoulder, sort of like a cat might have. Then, hand to god, it started to groom my hair. Chloe laughed.

Yeah, I wanted heat vision an awful lot then.

"See, he does like you."

I sighed and picked Lucky up to set on the floor, hoping he wouldn't pee on me. At least the lemur didn't do that, yet. "So he's going to be our evil fighting mascot?"

She shrugged. "I heard the Wonder Twins have a chimp, feel fortunate."

"I just...being human sucks."

"Yeah, that's about the shape of it."


	6. Chapter 6

6

"Hey Clark!" Oliver called out, taking a seat across from me at the table at the Ace of Clubs. The reservation, of course, was under his name. I had already started drinking since he'd been stuck at a meeting. It was only 8 p.m., but I was on my third shot of Vodka, and I was really beginning to get why Lois liked this stuff, although, I was thinking of switching to the beer on draft soon.

"Pace yourself."

"That's what Chloe says about soda. Speaking of, where's your wife?"

Oliver sighed. "She has Diana duty. They're patrolling together. She's thinking of making Tuesday a 'girls' night' permanently. She'd even invite Dinah into town for it for a while, but Canary isn't very fond of her."

"I remember," I said, waving for the waitress to bring me a Budweiser. Oliver smirked and I wasn't sure why. "So how is that going? Making Diana all ready for truth, justice and other stuff."

Oliver shrugged. "She's a work in process. Chloe's working very hard to teach her how to blend in with an alter ego, but she's not really getting the concept. Any time someone says anything even remotely sexist, Diana flips out. Considering she has a day job near a construction site...she's had some incidents."

The waitress dropped off my frosty mug and I kept on chugging. "So, she has a job huh? That sounds nice."

"Don't look at me. She apparently has mastered the art of faking a paper trail. Chloe didn't even have to do one for her. I'm think Bruce and Lucius Fox might have helped a little. Wonder Woman and Batman have run around before and, well, I think he's got a bit of a crush."

"Peachy. What's her job?"

"Something corporate. I can't remember off the top of my head what the company makes."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," I replied, draining my glass. Maybe I'd try tequila next, but not the little worm. "Waitress."

Ollie was still smirking, bastard. "I keep telling you, pace yourself."

"I'm mortal. I'm stuck in the Watchtower, and now I'm a janitor. Oh and I couldn't get any sleep at all last night with Lucky staring at me. Final perk, your wife started her surveillance at 6 a.m." The waitress came by again and I asked for a tequila. She looked at my glasses and frowned but Oliver waved his hand to encourage her. That was more like it. "Seriously, Diana's not even from this country. Why does she get the cushy stuff."

"Wow, that's loaded. Also, I told you. If you wore a spandex bathing suit and a lasso around Bruce, maybe he'd set you up too."

I blanched at the mental picture. "I don't think I want to do that."

"It might help, play a little ball there Clark."

I glared at him, though I'd be the first to admit it came out more as a squint. "Can't you help me?"

"I'm really sorry, I am. You pulled me out of two really big slumps and then were here for me when Chloe wasn't around. You're a great friend but the board just won't let me. You have no idea how many jobs we've had to eliminate just this quarter. I'm sorry. You don't have the credentials and I can't justify it."

I snorted and drained the tequila just set on the table. My stomach roiled. Huh, maybe Ollie was right about the pacing thing. "Everyone's so stuck up on credentials. I'm not stupid!"

"Yes, but it'd help if you had a sheep skin from Met U testifying to that fact. Don't see this as God closing a door on you, see it as an open window."

"That I can throw myself out of. My dad used to say those kind of things and, believe me, I loved him a lot but they never really helped. How is being a janitor a wonderful new opportunity."

"You have to start somewhere. You really should have kept the farm, man."

"Ooh, you could buy it back for me!" I said and was I slurring? Nah, I was feeling pretty good and it's not like Ollie and his limo weren't going to take me back to the 'Tower. "Garson, white wine now!" I shouted at no one in particular. It occurred to me that if I weren't with Ollie, I'd have been out on my ass just now.

Oliver laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh you'll figure it out. You're certainly not listening to me. Why, yes, I could buy the farm and even the back forty from the Hubbards. However, your mom told me I couldn't."

"She's not your mom. She's my mom and well Conner's but he's also my son," I said, blinking a lot and setting my chin on my palms. The waitress just stared at me as she set the bottle and glass down. "You heard me."

Oliver rolled his eyes and gave her a hundred, probably for discretion, and for me being a bit of an ass, too. Pouring myself a large glass, I started taking advantage for the Chardonnay. Really, alcohol was a beautiful thing about being human(ish).

"She's like the League's mom, especially after the VRA stuff, and I respect her. She's super pissed you sold it without even asking her. That was your great grandfather's from the turn of the century. She said he built that house with his bare hands."

"Not you too."

"I promised Martha and she's not someone you disappoint. Just give it some time. Chloe was on the run, although she was smart enough to stash money away from me and then Bruce gave her a loan on her quest to find other heroes. I think that's how she met Hal Jordan."

"Who?"

"You'll see later. He's busy right now but soon I'm sure he'll visit Metropolis. Anyway, she was on the run. I lost my company for a while. Tess got thrown out of Checkmate. A lot of us have had to deal with financial setbacks, you know? You'll make it through this. You still have three thousand in the bank and a free place to live. You could probably sell the truck too since you're in the city. Parking's super expensive and you can get the subway to work."

"Can't I get a cab?"

"Your choice but that'll add up fast."

"You all are conspiring against me. Chloe's enforcing punishments, you won't buy me out of this, and Mom's the mastermind. Even Conner and Shelby are spiting me with their luxury suite."

"Meh, Lucky likes you."

"Lucky stares at me all night and tries to lick my head. Chloe says he's grooming, but it's weird. I think he like likes me."

"Probably just your imagination," Oliver replied, drinking a scotch slowly. "Clark, part of this is a learning experience. Don't just sell things without thinking about it. I mean hold onto your assets, man."

"That's what rich people say!"

"Well you had the farm. Like I said, you still have the truck."

"I sold that too."

"Huh?"

I drank a second large glass. Wine was pretty awesome too. "Lois had a car and paying to park both was insane and I didn't have barn chores anymore."

"You're not good at planning for rainy days."

"This, my friend, is a monsoon!" I replied, gesticulating wildly. Then I smelled the oysters on the half shell someone had ordered. It was over. I didn't even have time to react. I just barfed right on the table. Oliver stood up with lightening reflexes, well honed, and didn't get a drop on it. In vain, I reached for a napkin from the table. "Oh man, I think I have more in me."

Oliver sighed and called for the wait staff, already pulling Benjamins from his pants pocket. "Rule one about drinking, Clark, besides the stop at your limit part. You never mix hard liquor and wine. You're really gonna be feeling that in the morning."

"You could have stopped me," I said, the only thing keeping me from passing out was the urge not to face plant in my mess.

"Object lesson. Now you won't ever forget it."

Jerk.

It was summer time basically or, well, about the 23rd of May, but that meant that light flooded into the Watchtower through the stained glass window and onto my face every morning at five forty-five a.m. sharp. The stupid window was automated too in order to let the light in. I rolled over and pulled my quilt-something my mom had made for me when I was eight-over my eyes. My head hurt like crazy and my throat was dry. I'd felt that way before thanks to Zatanna, but I hadn't been eager to repeat the experience. Besides, the migraine part was fairly new.

"I'm going to die."

"No, you'll live," said my best friend come traitor. She'd probably known what would happen if I went to The Ace of Clubs . She and Ollie should have tried harder to warn me about the dangers of binge drinking.

I didn't pull the blanket off my face. Mumbling through the fabric, I protested. "I am dying. I made it like ten days as a mortal. Good for me."

She yanked the blanket off. Bitch. I held my hand in front of me, trying to block out the sun. It made my headache a million times worse. Chloe sighed and slipped some sunglasses-the big aviator type-over my eyes. "There, tip for surviving a bad hangover number one, cover your eyes. Step two is coffee, I brought you black from the Java Hut."

I took a sip and was glad to have it. "What's three?"

"Hydration," she said, handing me a bottle of water. "And of course, these little miracle workers," she finished, giving me aspirin.

"Chlo, those won't work...oh," I finished. It was hard to remember, actually, that I didn't have my powers. After ten days, I still made really stupid mistakes, like drinking until I puked.

"Drink. Good, now it's a sunny six a.m. and you don't start your job until Friday night."

"I know, how much does that suck."

She patted my shoulder. "But you like eating and buying groceries, thus you must work and last hired, worst shifts. You remember I was on midnight pet obits at the Planet for several months. That was not fun either but it was how I got a foot hold."

"Which I fucked up."

"Yeah, a little, but I like The Journal and The Register's well respected in Star City and not owned by Luthors. I mean, it fits well since that's where Ollie is."

"True," I said, frowning. "I...I wanted to stay in Metropolis. I know I could be getting coffee for the staffers in mom's office and living in her home in Georgetown, but I want to stay here. I really missed you the last few months. It's cool you're around."

"This is still temporary. J'onn and Diana will figure out the rhythm for working their 'night jobs' and running Watchtower. I am not doing this forever. I hate this job."

"It is lonely here," I admitted. "I feel like I'm literally locked in a tower, which, I guess I kind of am."

"Exactly. I like consulting. Hell, I even like mentoring like I'm doing with Diana for her blending in skills and even Mia as well sometimes. I just like having a balanced life and a career with it. This is a favor since we're recovering from Tess's death, but I'm not staying, you do get that, right?"

I wished she could. I hadn't paid her a damn bit of attention all last year and she'd barely been around this one. I was losing so many people in my life-Lois, Tess, and Oliver and Chloe when they finalized their move back. Mom and Conner lived most of the time in D.C. I was pretty alone. I had made Lois my whole world and ignored everyone else, and when she left me, I didn't really have anything left.

"Are you sure Ollie can't just run everything from Metropolis like he used to?"

She sighed and patted my hand, being careful not to make me spill my coffee. "It's not the same. Oliver has to resurrect his company and it's no longer merged with LuthorCorp with Tess dead. I have a job there that they're holding for me while I deal with the fallout but they can't hold the position forever." She sighed and looked down at her ring. "Besides, eventually Ollie and I want to start a family and he wants to do it on his estate. His family has lived there for decades."

"An estate, damn. I thought it was just a penthouse thing." I didn't even have my own apartment anymore.

She nodded. "I'm not saying I'm ready to be a mom. I'm really not since I have to get my career more stable and maybe work to some street cred with awards and noticeable pieces. However, in a couple years, sure. I'd like that a lot. It's not like I see dad ever and mom's sick. Oliver's parents have been dead a long time. It'd be nice to have a family again."

I found that statement made it hard for me to breathe. Chloe. Chloe pregnant with Oliver's kid. Chloe living in some grand manor with horses and greenhouses and butlers. My Chloe a thousand miles away when I couldn't just speed there in a blink. None of that sat well with me, no matter how much I wanted her to be happy and boy did she sound like it.

"I...that's great," I managed to say, forcing myself to smile until I thought my face was going to crack. "You'd be a great mom."

"I'd probably fuck it up, but at least I'm not my mom. I mean, I'm not the most maternal person but it's sort of what eventually comes with marriage and a stable home. Just something some day."

"I, like I said, cool."

She frowned back at me and patted my shoulder. "Ollie can pay to fly you out when you want. You can see us like every other weekend even the first year or two while you're still adjusting. Besides, Diana has a long way to go to be human enough not to get in trouble. She almost broke a man's wrist today for whistling at her."

"Yeesh."

"Yeah, I figure we'll be here three or four months, easy. Losing The Blur is a pretty big blow for Metropolis, even if Wonder Woman is around and The Manhunter."

"Green Arrow and Watchtower too," I added.

She smiled. "Yup, and it's more fun now that I actually get to go out and patrol. I mean, I don't have all leather like Oliver, but I manage in something a little more low key than Diana and my favorite green jacket."

I nodded. Much like her hair, I really hated that stupid jacket. Hell, I think I hated the stupid wedding ring on her hand and I'd bought it. Glancing over at Lucky who was sleeping on Tess's old desk, I realized I was a very different person when trashed. I liked lemurs, stole signs, and thought helping Chloe get married was a good idea. Now that she'd be accessible basically by phone, email, or occasional vacation-like I was going to get much time off-it suddenly seemed like I'd been really stupid.

It was taking me some time to even process that I couldn't just pop in on Chloe whenever I wanted anymore.

"Clark?" she said, waving a hand in front of my face. "You're not still all migrained out, are you? I can get you an ice pack."

I stood up and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. No, I feel fine. Thanks, great cure and stuff." I started over to Tess's desk, shooing Lucky away to the upstairs. He chittered angrily at me until he walked over to Chloe, waiting for her to pick him up.

Suck up.

Smiling, she stroked his back and kissed the tip of his nose. "I gotta get to work. Why don't you sit on Clark's bed. It's soft."

As if he spoke English, he chittered some more and ran up the railing and disappeared up the spiral staircase.

"Stupid monkey's going to pee on that."

"Meh, we're going to get rid of it anyway, and he's not a monkey. He's a prosimian . It's called 'Google,' Clark, use it some time."

"You like him better!"

"Maybe," she said, winking. "So, now that you're up, why don't you help me do some surveillance. I usually take the city but still try to monitor things in North and South America the most."

"Oh, I could do that," I offered, pulling out Tess's computer and blinking at it. I moved it closer to my face, then closer. I almost had it touching my nose before I could read the letters.

Chloe tapped her foot on the floor. "Clark?"

"Yeah?"

"You definitely need to get real glasses. Help me file some things and collate, then we'll take you to a walk-in place at nine."

"What's a walk-in?"

She sighed and handed me a large stack of papers and a hole punch. "You have such a long way to go."

"No!" I shouted, waving my arm like a maniac. "You can't come near me with that stuff. It's evil!"

"Mrs. Queen, if you could tell your friend to calm down. You'd think he'd never been to a doctor before," the optometrist groused.

Chloe glared at me and I remembered that she was trained in combat now and I really wasn't. "Clark, get over it. They're going to need to dilate your other eye."

"It stings! And I can't even see right out of the left one!"

She took my left hand and pushed it back, and ow that hurt! "Clark, be a grown-up or I'm going to give you something more painful to worry about," she said sweetly.

"Chlo, come on-" she tightened her grip and I whimpered. I'm not proud of it but clearly The Batman had taught her some things. "Hey, I'm ready for that other drop now!"

"Finally," the doctor replied. "Mr. Kent, I've seen eight year olds better at this than you."

Chloe snorted but still held my wrist in a death grip. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

I was sitting in the grand ballroom that night at The Excelsior . I was meeting up with Conner later. My, uh, brother was out walking Shelby and he hadn't wanted to do the fancy dinner thing after all. I was out with Oliver and Chloe. This time, I really didn't care about dress codes, I wore sneakers with my business suit. Chloe was wearing a nice green silk dress that matched nicely with Ollie's tie and I wondered if they'd planned it that way. That seemed like a cutesy couples thing to do.

I was not drinking. I'd learned my lesson last night. I was just doing plain water, sipping it slowly and making sure nothing annoying was going to happen, even hiccups.

"So, Clark," Oliver said. "You do look nice."

I frowned. He'd had someone speed make my glasses, probably so I could pull my weight staring at boring monitors when I wasn't also scrubbing out boring toilets. Fun. "Yeah, I went for the wire frames, the sort of gold ones. I really wasn't digging the Buddy Holly ones anymore since I don't have to do that. I want to get contacts, but the doctor said I had to try glasses for six months first."

"Well," Chloe conceded. "They are a lot better than the last ones. I mean, yes, they did separate you from you-know-who, but they were ugly."

"I know, but I didn't actually need them. I think I'm pretty damn blind even by human standards. How did that happen?"

Oliver shrugged. "Lack of luck?"

Chloe sighed and patted my hand. "Still you look very nice."

"Gee, I feel like I'm five and you just gave me a cookie."

"You don't deserve it," Oliver added. "Chloe told me you screamed like a baby at the doctor's."

"You ever had your eyes dilated," I huffed.

"No."

"Sucks, man, I'm not ashamed of fighting to keep it away."

"God, wait until you get vaccinations."

"Huh?"

"Mortal, you going to have to catch up," Chloe said. "I'll talk to Martha about that. Hopefully you won't get polio or measles or anything."

"Polio!"

"That's mostly extinct, though, really," Ollie said, laughing a little. He leaned over and popped a piece of calamari in Chloe's mouth. It was oddly intimate, despite the nature of the food, and I looked away blushing. Chloe giggled happily and kissed him discretely on the lips.

"So, uh, if I'm going to still help out the team at Watchtower, and since I live there, Chloe conscripted me."

"Is there a question in that?" Oliver asked, confused.

"Yeah...well, see, I know that you and Chloe are normal and that Bruce guy she worked with."

"Bruce Wayne, scion of Wayne Industries," Chloe corrected.

"Right him. I could help out, you know. I'm still a good sized guy."

Chloe frowned and bit her lip. "Clark, Oliver was training me with the bow and arrow before I left and I spent months training with experts. Bruce lived in Asia getting sensei masters to teach him martial arts for seven years. You know Oliver was practically born with a bow in his hands."

"So?" I asked, taking a sip of water. "If you can do it, I can do it."

She narrowed her eyes at me and Oliver shook his head. He kissed her cheek and squeezed her shoulder tight. "Don't kill him, honey."

And, yeah, despite Lois leaving me, it really chafed in some weird way to hear the pet name and I didn't get that. She was my best friend and happier than I'd seen her maybe since we were freshman in college. I told whatever the hell was being petty to shut up and asked Oliver a question:

"Why would she kill me?"

"Oh Clark," she said. "If you think this is so easy, then you're more than welcome to come tomorrow night. Ah, you might want to get one of those neck straps for your glasses though."

"I can do that. You are not tougher than me, Chloe."

Oliver laughed again. "Clark, you need to quit while you're behind."


	7. Chapter 7

7

"You okay?" Conner asked as I sat patting Shelby in his freaking luxury hotel room. Huh, mom must have been a lot more upset than I thought about selling the farm. I really should have talked to her first. That was not my brightest move.

"I dunno. I don't even have the energy to be snippy and upset. I'll do that tomorrow. I just know that I'm still a little hungover, I don't want to go to my new job, and Chloe basically implied she could kick my ass. I don't even think that'd be possible. She's like 5'4 and a hundred and nothing, soaking wet."

Conner considered that and drunk some of his Perrier, you know, the kind out of the mini-fridge for six dollars a bottle. Note to self, never piss mom off again. "Well, she did spend two years training, first with Ollie and then with the Bat-dude. She might be able to, really."

"I'm a big guy and I played football. It's not like she has superpowers or something."

"Experience might count for a lot," Conner admitted honestly. "Okay, so as your mini-me..."

"Please stop saying that."

"Okay, as your 'brother,' I still feel that I need to check in with you. I know you have to be hurting pretty bad over Lois. You dated her on and off for two years."

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I know, and it's hard but not in the way I thought it would be. I don't know if I loved her for the right reasons."

"I don't understand."

"Okay, so this sounds nuts."

"I'm an alien-mutant clone hybrid of two mortal enemies. I have an open mind," Conner said bitterly.

I reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "My dad used to say that I wasn't where I was born or my biology. I think that's true. Like I said, just because you're part Lex doesn't mean you have to be him. Tess was a really good person in the end and she fought back her darkness. If you ever feel yourself slipping, I'm here."

Conner nodded and sipped again. "God, I miss her. Does it get easier?"

I thought back to my dad. It had eaten me up for a year at least and then I coped by shoving it all to the side, well, after torching a few buildings. Sighing, I squeezed him one last time and removed my hand. He needed some space after all, keep up that manly pride. "It'll hurt less with time, but it'll always ache. It's how I feel about dad."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I mean, even if you can superspeed or bend steel, you can't get over grief any faster than other people."

"Can't we just fast forward time and be through the sad parts?" he joked.

"No, but at least the League and mom are here for you. Whatever you need, you know?"

Conner's question chafed but I tried not to let him know that it had. Kara had the legion ring, whenever she had gone. I had had the one chance to turn back time and to save Lana. It cost me my dad and now Lana was gone some place mysterious and I wasn't even sure what she was doing. She certainly hadn't come around to stop the Kandorians. If I had that damn crystal now, I could be myself again. Talk about fucking things up and making them worse than they ever had to be.

"So, how is missing Lois different than you thought?"

"I...like I said this sounds weird but Brainiac Five from the Legion of Superheroes all the way from the year three thousand-"

"Really?"

"Not kidding. Anyway, he went back in time and showed me the future, to help me get over my darkness and get enough confidence to realize I could and would fly some day. I guess time's more fluid than I thought because obviously me being the 'world's hero' is just not in the cards anymore."

"Okay, and that's really hard too, and you're mourning yourself on a level I couldn't believe before. You saw something amazing and now you realize it's never going to happen."

"Nope, and I could have been something the world really needed, Conner, and I wasted it. I really did. I just...you probably have more pressure on your shoulders than you should cause Kara's gone off to find her destiny and you're the last one of us here in present time with abilities. When it's time, you'll be a lot like what I could have been."

He laughed wryly. "Once I get a handle on my powers though. That flying thing is definitely harder than it sounds."

"Oh agreed. But in the future, Lois was by my side and she seemed in love with me, at least the super part after a save. I really wanted that life of being the famous hero and having Lois supporting me, except I should have seen the signs. We weren't actually working as partners at the DP and she was pretty condescending to me in my street clothes and just being 'Clark Kent.' I think I loved her, but it was part of a pretty amazing package deal."

"I'm sorry she dumped you."

"Chloe and mom say that if she didn't want me as I am now, then it's better she cut both our losses, that it'd be worse a couple years down the line and maybe they're right. I do think she was trying to spare me pain since she couldn't cope. It's like pulling off a Band-aid really fast."

"Ouch, I've heard that sucks."

"Pretty much, but it was in one shot. It's going to ache for a long time, but at least it's not piece by piece, you know?"

"But you thought she was the one?"

I nodded and scratched my nose. "Yeah, I thought everything was going to be perfect forever. Maybe I'm more naive than I should be at my age. I wanted what I was promised and I did everything I could to pole vault to that. Maybe selling the farm was part of it. I know proposing to her like a month later and telling her my secret were."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but it sucks to know that she didn't see me. She tried, I think, but she never got it, how hard it is for us to be so different and alone. She definitely didn't seem to get I wasn't just my powers and wasn't really some type of infallible guy. I mean, she didn't like have an altar or anything, but I don't think she quite got that I could fuck up either."

"So you being mortal?"

"I think it was disappointing, but Chloe says she has issues with her dad and that's very true. I think she believed a lot that she could be a superhero with me and have a big purpose in her life. I thought I was guaranteed happiness with her because the future said so."

Conner nodded again. "Clark?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Don't take this weirdly, but, okay, I've noticed the way you were looking at Chloe during the funeral and especially the wake when she was crying on Oliver's shoulder. What's that?"

"Nothing. She's just my best friend. We have been since we were thirteen."

"Okay, so pardon the pop psychology, but Chloe and Lois are cousins right?"

"Yup."

"And Chloe was a street smart reporter who helped keep your secret, right?"

"Yup and still does basically, just a different paper now."

"And then you and Chloe fought for like nine months and then she was gone all over the world and you were pretty crushed she just left you high and dry cause mom said that."

"Definitely. It hurts when people leave. Chloe was basically my constant for a decade before she vanished."

"Right. So she vanishes, your shown happy land where Lois is guaranteed to like you no matter what, and Chloe's just gone with the wind anyway."

I frowned. "What are you getting at here?"

"I think you might have been substituting one Sullivan-Lane for the other just a tiny bit...or a big bit."

"That's nuts!"

He shrugged. "Like I said, I'm not a shrink or anything, but it's weird you started clinging to Lois when you and Chloe were on the outs and got so gone on marrying her when Chloe was God knows where."

"Gotham and Themyscira at least," I corrected.

"Right, but my point is now you're giving Oliver little death glares when he's not looking directly at you and pouting already that Chloe's so busy at her job this week. She was at Watchtower about twelve hours a day taking that shift and now you've done some of the basic cover work."

"Yeah, the monitors are so fun!"

"But...just, do you think it's possible you were switching because Chloe hurt you so badly when she abandoned you?"

"I don't think so. Like I said, we've been best friends for over eleven years now. I'm happy when she's happy. She's over the moon about Oliver so I'm thrilled for her."

"Sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're super happy about the marriage, except when you stare at Ollie like you still have heat vision."

"Not true," I defended, even if it was so weird I wasn't Chloe's top priority anymore.

"I dunno, just saying," he replied, patting Shelby too. "Better get some sleep. Oliver and Chloe are really serious about enforcing toothbrush duty after she gets off work."

"You don't think they really would?"

"Sleep Clark, I don't trust them not to be scared of mom either."

"This sucks."

Chloe shrugged from the Watchtower steps and Oliver sat on a stool going over our budget (we tended to run over a lot ).

"Clark, Conner's scrubbing upstairs in your bedroom."

"Well, at least I got a new bed. I was getting really tired of the sofa."

"You're going to need it," Oliver said. "Do thank me for the king-sized with deluxe mattress. Remember, I like you."

"Thanks but why do I need the super star treatment?" I asked, very confused.

"Clark, you've never done eight hour shifts on your feet, always a desk job and invulnerable at the time. Even if reporters follow a lot of leads outside, you've never done things like clean all day and that's a lot of bending over," Chloe replied.

I rolled my eyes and kept scrubbing the space by Tess's old desk. Inch by freaking inch. It had been two hours and my back was screaming at me. I was never lying to anyone ever again, seriously. "I can handle it. How hard could it be? It's like sweeping, a mop, plunger, and maybe an industrial strength vacuum. I can do it!"

"Oh I know you can. You're a determined guy," she said. "However, you're going to be hurting the first few weeks until you get more normal person stamina up. You're going to be thankful for the softness of the mattress."

"Speaking of, can I quit now?"

"You still have a few feet to go. Martha said that the whole thing was a bit much, but she wanted at least two and a half hours. She thought that was fair," Oliver replied, not looking up from the notes he was making on the report.

"Mom's evil."

"She did know Lionel really well," Chloe conceded. "Maybe it rubbed off on her."

"About that and mom's, well, romantic life. Conner said the craziest thing after the funeral."

"About Martha and J'onn maybe?" Chloe asked, biting her lower lip.

"Yeah, that's nuts right," I said, attacking a particularly large grease spot (?).

"I hate to confirm this for you," Oliver said, finally making eye contact. "But everyone except you and Lois knew about that. I mean J'onn has been really happy about it and talked about her all over Watchtower. You've just been busy."

"Oh man. I just...mom and J'onn? I work with him!"

"Well obviously that's how he got to know her," Chloe replied. "As far as new father type figures go, at least you've known him for years, he's taken care of you, and you're good friends."

"Also, he's not Lionel," Oliver spat.

Lionel killed his parents, I got the anger on that.

"Still, I can't believe this. Are they...Conner said they weren't...but do you think they were, you know?"

"Martha and J'onn are discrete," Chloe said, still biting her lip. "I doubt it, but that's probably inevitable if they date enough."

"Oh man, he's a Martian!"

"Uh-huh," Oliver said drolly. "I can see how the Kryptonian would have issues with that."

"I didn't mean that, exactly. Why can't mom just join a convent?"

"Not going to happen and she's pretty awesome," Oliver added. "If I were about thirty years older..."

"Not listening," I replied, sitting up. "I'm done. There's nothing I want to scrub ever again," I replied, throwing down my toothbrush, which was pretty damn rank by now."

"Well," Oliver replied, handing me a bucket, a towel, and thick rubber gloves. "There is one last thing."

"What?"

"Uh," Chloe said, wringing her hands. "Lucky's adjusting to a litter box idea. So he made a mess by a monitor bank. Since you live in Watchtower and he's the mascot, you might want to get on that."

"Un-freaking-believable."

"Think of it as practice, Clark," Ollie chirped, suppressing a smile. "Besides, he doesn't have opposable thumbs. He can't fling anything at you."

I sighed and shoved on my gloves. Definitely never lying again.

"Here," Oliver said, handing me a black leather jacket. "I found this in your closet. Change out of the red. It's too conspicuous if you can't speed anymore."

"Green leather isn't?"

"Green and black and it blends in," he said. "Besides, the leather will help you. You're new and if someone swipes at you with a knife, it's going to act as a second skin."

"Oh, that makes sense," I said putting it on. Otherwise I just had black jeans, a grey t-shirt, and some sneakers on. (I had learned my lesson permanently on the wonders of sneakers, truly I had.)

"Also," Chloe said, stepping into the Watchtower, throwing open the double doors. I blinked. I feel like if I still had my powers that my eyes would be itching like crazy. As it was blood started rushing other places than my brain. Chloe was wearing black boots about mid calf, black leather pants-tight but not obscenely so, a dark shirt and her black leather jacket she'd worn at Fortune's place. Her short hair was held back with clips in the front and, in her hand, she was clutching a Kevlar vest.

I blinked again.

Chloe really looked amazing and tough.

Oliver went over and kissed her for a long time. Pulling back, he was grinning at her. "You look fabulous as always, sidekick."

"Watchtower," she corrected, tossing me the vest. I have one on and Oliver's outfit's been upgraded by Lucius Fox to resist everything but a straight shot. We're not idiots about this."

I nodded, shucked off my jacket and t-shirt and buckled it over my under shirt. Then redressed. Idly, I wondered if Chloe had stared at me, even a little. She'd have died for that in high school, even college. Looking back, I sighed, a little surprised at my reaction. She and Oliver were half-sparring, half making googly eyes at each other, as if I wasn't even in the room. To my shock, he took a swipe at her and she threw a knife at him with the skill Dinah had. It went wide and I realize she'd meant to miss, the knife slipping about eight inches to Oliver's left.

"Holy Hell, when did you learn that?"

She shoved the knife back into a sheath in her boot and I noticed an identical set up on her left boot. Who was this woman?

"I learned the art from Diana, staying with the Amazons. I don't hit people, but you'd be amazed how much time it buys you when people are distracted with an ten inch blade whizzing past them. It makes a sneak attack easier. Also, I'm packing a couple of taser guns on my hips and Ollie's loaning me a crossbow to sling over my shoulder."

"Oh so what am I getting?"

"First," Oliver said, handing me a strap. "This is what athletes who have glasses and not contacts use to keep them on. You're no good to any of us if you drop your stuff and can't see."

"Okay," I said, taking them. They weren't the height of fashion but they'd do.

"So do I get a crossbow too? Maybe a shuriken or three?"

Chloe sighed and handed me some pepper spray and an air horn. "Start with these. Tasers are tricking and you have to have a permit to even carry them. This stuff's mainly fool proof."

I gaped between her and Oliver. "What? I mean at least I could handle something! What about a bo-staff. Tess had some of those."

"Clark, you're not trained in any weapons. Chloe spent six months training on archery with me and I've spent my whole life on it. Bruce taught her marksmanship and Diana, well, you've seen how much ass she can kick. You haven't practiced any of that ever in your life. If we gave you a weapon that were intense, even a taser, you might accidentally hurt yourself or a bystander. Hell, even us. Tasers hurt," Oliver said.

"I could handle it. Pepper spray is for like my mom at night in D.C."

Chloe sighed and gave me smile number four, the pity one. Patting my shoulder she added. "You'll learn. I promise Oliver and I will train you, but it's going to take a year or eighteen months to get competent and, considering your vision issues, you're going to have to really work to get the aim down."

"I just...pepper spray?"

"Come on, Clark. It's already ten o'clock and this is wasted time we could be using to help people."

Sighing, I shoved both things in my jacket pockets and followed Chloe and Oliver out of the 'Tower.

"Okay, so why are we alone in a dark alley and where's Ollie?" I asked after an hour of finding not much crime, even in Suicide Slums.

Chloe set down her crossbow, tasers, and knives in a corner behind her and cracked her knuckles. "You wanted me to teach you things. Plus you insulted me. Do you want to learn to spar?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, Chlo. I'm twice your size and have a lot longer reach than you do."

"You're about Bruce's size and we used to do it all the time." She blushed, realizing how that sounded. "It was completely professional. I was desperate to get home to Ollie."

I sighed. That also really hurt. There might possibly, just a little, be truth to Conner's theory about using Lois as a Chloe-substitute.

"I can't hit a girl."

Chloe shook her head and stretched and arm up over herself, then the other. "Clark you won't touch me, promise."

"That's really cocky."

"Come at me then," she said, assuming a karate or maybe kung fu pose I'd only seen in movies-her stance wide but not too much, her body angled to the side, and her right arm out perpendicular to her torso. "Come on."

"I did play football you know."

"Come on, promise."

"You don't heal anymore."

"Bored now," she chirped.

Shrugging, I prepared to rush her as I'd learned from Jason Teague of all people during my time as a quarterback. "You said do this, just remember."

She grinned. "Oh I did."

Rushing forward for her, staying low to the ground, I was almost on her. My heart pounded faster, thinking I'd be sure to hurt her. At the last minute she shocked the hell out of me by doing a full split. I didn't have time to correct my velocity or direction and tripped full force over her leg landing splayed on the ground. Looking up, I noticed she'd already gone back to her defensive stance.

She was serious.

Shaking myself off, I ran for her again. This time, hand to god, before I could catch her, she back flipped like a gymnast, doing at least three volleys before she landed expertly on her feet.

I gaped. When the fuck had she learned all of this. I know she was gone for months but I just...what had Bruce and Diana and others trained her in.

She was up again and I rushed a third time, already feeling winded and tired. I wasn't paying attention and before I could reach her, she'd round house kicked me in the shoulder, the momentum of it sending me tripping onto my knees.

Taking a deep breath, she held out her hand. "I think that's enough for today."

"Really?" I asked, hesitating. "This isn't a trick."

"That wouldn't be honorable. Do you trust me?"

I sighed and took her hand. I hadn't once and it'd all most made me a permanent lab rat in the VRA. "With my life."

"Cool then, Blur," she said, picking up her things and putting them back in place. "Let's see what trouble we can still get into. It's only eleven."

I nodded and relaxed a little when she patted my shoulder. "Chlo?"

"Yeah, sorry I went hard on you. I know it's really your first time not just slugging it out as a reaction."

"No that's okay. I won't doubt your abilities again. I just...I think I need a better name. I can't speed anywhere anymore, after all."

"We'll think of something, promise. Now, come on Pinky, we've got to go take over the world."


	8. Chapter 8

I was lying in my bed in Watchtower. Oliver was right and it was the most comfortable mattress I'd ever slept on and, truly, I did appreciate that it wasn't something he and Chloe had slept on. That was really too much for me, new sheets or not. I was glad that I had it. I hurt a lot more than I wanted to admit. Chloe had handedly kicked my ass and my brain was having a hard time reconciling that. Talk about cognitive dissonance. Chloe, the girl I've rescued more times I can count, that Chloe. Chloe who barely came up to my chin.

She'd left my chest feeling a little bruised and my palms scratched up from falling on to them when she'd tripped me.

I know she hadn't meant to hurt me. She just had had so much more training and skills than I ever anticipated. I don't know that Bruce guy all that well, and I should have realized how much prowess Diana had even outside of her powers. She'd been raised as part of a race of warrior women (no really).

It never occurred to me, in all honesty, that Chloe could soak up that much in nine months. It probably should have, because Chloe had always excelled at anything she'd been motivated to learn. She just wasn't...when did she become someone else so entirely and why didn't I notice it. Yeah, I noticed her getting darkly obsessed and lost in Watchtower. That's very true. However, I hadn't cared much. I'd been busy with Lois and with being just The Blur , no red and blue involved, busy scorching buildings and beating up Tess more than once. I just couldn't understand how she'd left Smallville and come back a new person I was barely recognizing.

Chloe Sullivan I mostly knew.

"Anne Queen" was a whole new animal.

Speak of the devil, she opened the door to my bedroom and sat down on one of the armchairs. She had a cardboard holder of drinks in one hand and a bag from the Java Hut. The drinks were huge, overflowing frozen coffee deals with tons of whipped cream. I had never been a fan of that sort of thing before but sugar was sugar, I was learning that. Sitting up and glad I'd put on a t-shirt with my pajama bottoms (I'd never really been one to sleep in just boxers), I grabbed the offered coffee.

"Thank you, Watchtower."

She winked and handed me the bag. "Two muffins, both with blueberry. Pretend it's a real fruit offering, Boy Scout."

"Ugh, I really need to think of a better code name. I never liked that anymore than Bart likes Impulse." I winced a little as I pulled myself up against the headboard.

She frowned. "You're still sore?"

"I think the roundhouse bruised a little. You wouldn't think so because I'm a big guy, but-"

She took a sip of her own drink. The whipped cream gave her a little mustache, until she licked it off. It was cute. Huh, random thought. "I went a little harder than I should have for lesson one. Believe me, with Ollie I'd get sore a lot, but with Bruce or Diana? First time with Diana, I felt like I could barely move and she, of course, held back to mortal moves."

"Or your head would be in Greece."

"Right, but you did insult me by thinking I wasn't tough enough."

"But you're Chloe, you're an indoor girl!"

"I was for a long time. It's so much better being out in the field too, seeing and interacting with the people I save, getting some damn fresh air."

"You hated P.E."

"I have a purpose for running laps now. I'm not that girl from high school or even from the Watchtower two years ago, basically."

I sighed. "We've all changed a lot."

"Sort of what happens when you stay friends with someone since your first growth spurt," she snarked, pulling out biscotti from a second bag in her coat pocket. "It's extra chocolate. I have a spare."

"Well there's only so much sugar," I deferred. "You earned it for 'winning' last night and bringing me the rest. What time is it?"

"It's already six. I just got off." She blushed. "Work, I mean."

"Uh, right."

"But I know you start at eight. I also figured since we didn't get back in until 2 a.m. that you needed your rest. The sugar's partially a wake up call."

"Thanks. I...uh, need to get showered and shaved and stuff. Using a razor sucks too."

"So that's why the cuts? I wasn't really getting that. I...well, I never really thought about hair cuts and shaving."

"Uh, practiced heat vision in the right places and mirrors. This is less complicated but more likely to hurt myself, believe it or not."

She giggled and patted my arm. "Make friends with little pieces of toilet paper." Chloe then took my trash and gave me the tiniest peck on the forehead, something mom probably would have done. "Alright, I'm getting out of here. I'll be back about maybe one tomorrow afternoon, since it's Saturday and you have nights on weekends. Just don't be late!"

"Sure, Chlo, thanks."

I did make it to the main office for my orientation with time to spare. About sixty seconds. I had gotten out of the Watchtower by seven but it was twenty blocks to The Journal and I'd underestimated how difficult the subway stuff was gonna be. First, I got on the wrong line and went fifteen blocks the wrong way. Then the one I did get on had a glitch where the power (and dear god the air conditioning) went out for five minutes. Ugh. Not fun. Being crammed in the subway, cleaning to a rail and having some random dude shoved against my shoulder was not the way to get anywhere, neither was stopping every two minutes, at best.

I missed superspeed.

Hell, I wish I had the truck still even if it was useless in the city, no place to park, certainly not one I could afford.

Sighing, I straightened my shirt and walked in to meet my new boss. He was a short man, not much taller than maybe Jimmy had been, old and grizzled, with skin a shade lighter than Pete's and a healthy day's stubble. His embroidered name badge said "Dave."

"Uh, Mr. Marshall?"

He nodded. "You're Clark, right? Personnel told me you started today. You're taller than we anticipated," he said, tossing me grey, washed out looking coveralls. They vaguely reminded me of the ones that I had worn in my mind escaping the mental hospital." It wouldn't really be flattering.

I slipped into the locker room and changed as fast as I could. Sighing when the sleeves and pants legs were at least each three inches too short. Well, it wasn't like I had dignity more anyway.

Once I was changed, Mr. Marshall gave me the once over and asked me to follow him, showing me what I'd be doing. The Journal had thirty floors. I was in charge of emptying the garbage and recycling on all of the first fifteen, while he did the floor buffering. There was Sam, who did a lot of the carpet vacuuming and Janice for mopping. The windows were done by washers during the day and, of course, there were day shift workers and people from 1-8. It still surprised me it wasn't as large a staff as I wanted or hoped for. I wasn't sure if that was because we were might have been doing our own zones or something or because of the recession, who could tell.

Still, I could empty and organize that. Even if it was a lot of room, I was going to be able to handle that.

As I left for the first level of the building, ready with my cart, Mr. Marshall smirked at me and also handed me a mop, bucket and plunger. "New kid gets the bathrooms by the cafeteria. It was taco day. Good luck, sport."

In retrospect, I really should have finished college.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe without everything screaming at me. I had spent eight hours on my feet, two of that had been more related to "taco day." I suppose I should be grateful I didn't have enhanced senses anymore. It still didn't mean that the experience had been enjoyable or  
>When I got to Watchtower, it was already nine a.m. That meant that J'onn was on duty. I nodded at him, giving him a glare and a thought that now was not the time to discuss my first day. He was decked out as "John Jones" in his Shaft coat and he just smiled at me, clearing reading out of my mind exactly how bad my first day had been.<p>

"Kal-El, I wouldn't press."

"Oh, yeah you would."

"It'll get easier. I didn't have my powers for 18 months. I got shot even."

"Uh, yeah, I'm really sorry I sort of fell down on fixing that."

"Dr. Fate fixed it and I am glad about that," he said stiffly. "Still, it gets easier to adjust to limitations. I promise you."

"I was human for a whole four months once. I got used to most of it...okay some of it. I'm sure this will get better. It's still not like lifting heavy bales of hay or fence posts. That's really stuff that aches."

"True."

"Still," I said, running a hand over my face. God I had to shower. "There was always the option to get them back. It's different when you know it'll never happen."

"It's a loss. You're in mourning for what you were and for what you assumed you'd be. No one expects that to be fixed in two weeks or even a year. The fact that you're trying is what really matters, and we're all here for you. Your mother's proud of you. She's been strict with you because of the way you've ignored her and lied about things that should have been family matters, but she knows that you're trying. I suspect that one day, you will be able to go to Washington and intern on her staff. She'd let you do that if she's re-elected."

"Mom's awesome so she will be."

"Yes, but first, it's good to learn how valuable your gifts were and to stay near us."

"Cause I'm fragile and need to be looked after?"

"Something like that," he conceded. "You do have a habit of getting shot while mortal. We're just here to help you deal with everything that's come at once."

"J'onn?"

"Yes?"

I sighed and balled my hands up at my sides. "I don't know if I want to go to D.C. after I get used to being human. It's already a thousand miles from here to Star City. D.C. is almost across the country."

"There are airplanes, Kal-El, and in Oliver's case, jets."

"I know. I just don't want to be so far from Chloe." I thought better about how that sounded and amended my statement. "Well and Oliver too. I'd miss them."

J'onn shook his head and smiled at me sadly. Then he turned back to his monitor. "One day, you'll have to learn to appreciate what you have before it's gone."

"Yeah, I'm not great at that, but I do miss my powers a ton."

"I wasn't talking about them."

Then what the Hell was he talking about?

I was halfway up the stairs before a question was burning in my brain too much to ignore. "Uh, J'onn, Conner said you and mom were dating."

"We have been for a while, yes."

"Um, that's good, mom's not good at being too lonely and stuff. But, uh, so how far has this gone exactly?"

He smiled. "Kal-El, a gentlemen never talks about certain things."

I hurried up the stairs and slammed the door, but not before shooing Lucky off my bed (eww). J'onn and mom and...for fuck's sake, I just wanted to wake up and have my life back, but that just wasn't an option.


	9. Chapter 9

9

WARNING - before you proceed further, there is talk of thoughts of suicide. If you get triggered by that, please stop reading now. I'll make it so the next chapter has some background on this one, so it won't be all lost/confusing.

I did get some sleep, from about nine to noon, but, frankly, it really sucked. I blame Conner. He put the idea of mom having little Martians in my brain and with J'onn's basic winking at me, I was having nightmares of red-eyed little siblings for several hours. Okay, again, that really makes me a hypocrite and, yeah, mom is too old for that. Still, you think of green scaled, red eyed babies and not be a little freaked out.

Huh, that's what I thought.

I woke about noon, after a particularly gross vignette in my brain about chest-bursting, and got a shower. I should have started one before that. I know I collapsed half dressed in bed reeking of, well, things no one should reek of. I suppose I should be grateful Chloe's brilliant solution to my fiscal problems hadn't included things like septic tank drainer or garbage man, again, even if my senses were duller. However, I still loathed my job. I didn't realize how much I'd grown to love reporting as more than just an excuse to listen to the AP Wire. It was exciting to talk to people and maybe it made me feel, I dunno, connected to humans to learn more about them. Not that I'm some alien a la Spock, I'm not. I just like hearing people's stories, being out in the fresh air, and having something different to do every day.

Hell, I even missed the pressure of being on a tight deadline.

I might be able to get a job at a paper as small as The Ledger. However, Smallville was a two hour drive to Metropolis and gas prices are ridiculous now. The best apartment in town had been blown to smithereens anyway (thank you Rick Flagg), and I just...being that far away from Watchtower and Chloe well and the whole gang, really, didn't sit well with me. I felt alone enough as it was with Tess dead and Lois dumping me, like my whole social circle had basically been halved. The fact that I knew and Chloe had made it clear in no uncertain terms that she and he would probably be permanently back in Star City-again a thousand miles away from here-just made it more important I stay while I could.

I'd really made a mess of things. First by ignoring Chloe two years ago or, worse, treating her like utter dirt, and then she was just gone and, even if she were back, she wasn't really here for me. I mean, she was, and she was trying in her own slightly less than perfect way to be supportive of me. However, she was often busy. She had a real job back. She had patrolling which I pretty much sucked at now, and she especially had Oliver. I wasn't her top (only maybe) priority anymore and I'd been so used to that by the last year she was permanently in Smallville, that I just didn't know how to deal with the thought she'd moved past me.

Oh, sure, we'd always be friends. I got that much, but I didn't want to be phone call and Facebook buddies. I wanted to see her everyday, get coffee in the morning and ham sandwiches for lunch. I wanted to go with her to work, even if I had to walk twenty stupid blocks. I just...her in another time zone really hurt.

Sighing, I took a shower, yelping when I realized that I couldn't just turn it to only hot anymore. I got out and squinted at the mirror, slipping on foggy glasses, slinging a towel around my waist, and praying I didn't fuck up shaving too badly. Maybe I really ought to get an electronic kind or be thankful we were beyond straight razors now. That would have been a deadly disaster.

Shaved, clean, and, yes, with more than a few little squares of toilet paper on my face, I went to the bedroom and started to change.

That would be the moment Chloe barged in.

I froze.

No really, just stood there with my mouth hanging open, stark naked as the day my parents had found me, and just looking at her. She shrieked, dropped yet another over sugared frozen coffee, and slammed the door behind her. It took me a few minutes to get over my shock and, well embarrassment, and slip on underwear, a pair of sweats, and a Sharks t-shirt. I wasted further time, letting her collect herself together, by scrubbing up the mess she'd made with a few towels from the bathroom. I had considered calling in Lucky from his place in the rafters to lick it up, but that probably would have made him really sick.

I'll admit that thought was tempting as he was really coming on strong to me. I don't care what Chloe says. He groomed my head an awful lot.

Still, if he got sick all over, I'd be the one mopping up his mess and I already got enough of that at my new "career."

Steeling myself, as dressed as really feasible in the May heat, I stepped outside onto the railing and walked down. J'onn was not in the command center. I figured he'd left to give us some space to deal with the awkward. Chloe was sitting at her favorite desk, going over satellite print outs, staring at them as if they held the secrets of the universe (42 - hey I read).

"Chlo?"

She looked up at me. Smile number 3, the one where her face looked like it was cracking from the effort, shifty eyes, the works. "Oh I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have done the barge in thing. You have that connected bath-bed thing and I should have known the most priority you had after work was the bathing up stuff. I guess I got sloppy about it cause I just walk in on Ollie all the time."

I wondered how many of that was on purpose and then chased that thought away. It was pretty nonsensical.

"Oh and I got out of locking it practice too."

Her smile faltered an instant before putting it back on, full force. "Yeah, I get that. All that couples' thing where you get comfy naked. I just...wow you're gonna need to lock it. At least I wasn't Emil or Diana."

"She'd probably think it was a come on and make me a pretzel. Definitely a good idea not to leave it open," I admitted, pulling up a chair but careful to keep my distance from her. "Although, that's not the first time you've walked in on me."

She blushed. "Well we were thirteen and you were getting changed for the swimming hole. You're a lot, um, never mind. Let's say older now."

"You didn't see me that time at the resort? I always thought you lied about that."

She got fire engine red up to her ears. If I had my real hearing, I knew her heart would be hammering. Caught.

"Okay, so I did at the end, I admit that. Still, uh, nothing to be ashamed of or anything."

"Well not your fault. Smallville and mindwhammies are pretty much synonymous by now."

She nodded a bit too enthusiastically. "Yup. Not my fault."

"Nope."

We paused like that for five whole minutes, not looking at each other as she made an awful lot of highlights to her print out.

"Okay, so this is gonna take this to awkward factor eight again."

"Fun times," she snarked.

"Uh, right," I said, looking anywhere but at her eyes. "I don't...well that is to say... it's not like, you know-"

"Please hurry up with that sentence."

"Smaller okay!"

She banged her head on the desk a few times. "I hate you. I hate you for making this worse."

"Hey! I'm not like deformed or something!"

"No but it's like walking in on your brother."

"Oh."

Damn it, that hurt worse than when she said she loved me like one. I didn't think we were like siblings, really I didn't. Judging by that phone call she'd left me when on the run with Davis, she didn't really believe that either. Okay, so that had been over two years ago and the idea of us married had left her pretty upset and looking for a way to fix it, that's true. However, it just stung.

I couldn't explain it.

"Yeah, and you're fine, don't make me elaborate or talk about stuff like that again."

"Definitely not," I said, shifting a little in my chair. "Sorry. I'll keep stuff locked. Maybe even bolt stuff down with extra hardware."

"Good idea. Ooh, I can sneak you one of those little 'Do Not Disturb' signs from the hotel."

"Gee, thanks."

She picked her head up from the desk. "I'm not trying to be mean...hell even twenty year old me would have been thrilled."

"You were dating Jimmy," I pointed out.

"Yeah and I'm sorry he died, but by the end he was as big a jerk as he'd been after not calling me the first time."

I blinked.

That I had never known about him.

"He was a jerk about a lot of things. I'm sorry he died and we both had a part in that, I know that, but he did some really shitty things to you and to Kara."

"Water under the bridge, but, no, it wasn't like a trip to Disneyland for me. I have other things."

Oh I bet she did.

"Yeah, that's true."

"And you clearly go for the tall and busty now. Not really me so I guess last spring was about as bad."

"Oh sure," I said breezily. Hey, sometimes I can actually lie.

"So no sweat but just don't tell Ollie. I don't think he'd believe that was just you being stupid and me barging in."

"Definitely agreed on that." He had arrows, lots of pointy sharp things. I was never going to piss him off again.

"I actually was coming here, before the great Naked Escapade of 2011, to see how your first day went. I know it's hard, but you're adjusting well, really, to a set of awful circumstances. No home or car, lost Lois, learning to deal with pain again and all the fun of being non-powered, and now the job you don't like. A lesser guy probably would have been in tears or, frankly, hurt himself."

I blinked. That thought had never once occurred to me.

"You think I'd do something like that?"

"Ollie did once."

"I'm not him," I said stiffly. "I'd never ever do that, anymore than you would, not ever."

She sighed and looked away. "I had thought about it."

"No, that was Gretchen. I remember that. Hell, I saved you from the hospital!"

She looked down at her hands. "No, I mean those three weeks I was alone after Davis killed Jimmy. It's not like I hadn't before, you know? I knew it was pretty easy and didn't hurt that much after, like falling asleep. I was so alone-Lois had disappeared and I didn't know where, Jimmy and Davis were both dead and it was all my fault for being so stupid, the League was gone so all my friends were basically MIA. You..." she trailed off, unable to finish her thoughts.

Despite the awkwardness of earlier, I slid closer and stroked her back, placing one hand on her forearm. It made me flashback to when she had first learned about her power. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to be your bomb squad. I promised that a long time ago and was so shitty at it when you needed me most. I know I apologized but then I still treated you like either crap or a search engine your last year here."

She sniffled but slid her chair away from mine. I felt my stomach drop at the loss of contact.

"I would have written a hell of a letter if it got that far," she said, calling back to when I'd actually been her hero. "I didn't because Watchtower gave me purpose. Someone had to guard Metropolis with you training and I vowed to do it. If I lost everyone and everything because of my mistakes, I was going to fix it somehow."

That actually explained a lot about her retreating into the 'Tower and her scary, focused obsession with that year.

"I'm so sorry. If you'd...I'd never have forgiven myself."

She shrugged and looked away. "Meh, you weren't even trying to act human then, maybe you wouldn't have given two shits."

I got up and knelt by her chair, stroking her face, I added. "I'd have cared very much when I got home, believe me."

She got up and gathered her damn green jacket. Tossing down some slices of sweet potato for Lucky, she started down the stairs. "There always would have been Lois, Clark, and I have someone who brought me back. I saved him and he really saved me. I...good luck today. I'm sure I'll hear about it in a few days when Ollie teaches you more moves."

"I thought you were going to help!" I called, rushing after her. Frustrated she was ahead of me and I couldn't just appear and stop her at the door.

She swiped at her eyes, one hand on the door. "I can't right now. I need a few days. Sometimes I think too much."

"Chloe, wait..." I said, reaching for her arm.

She brushed me off and slipped out the door. "Goodbye Clark."

I sat down hard on the tile floor. That brush off hurt more than I could say, and I hated myself right then for what I'd done to her, left her to shoulder in my own selfishness and pain.

I'd been an asshole and I needed to fix it, was going to fix it. I vowed right then if I was going to be human than I'd be a better man than I'd been before.


	10. Chapter 10

10

I think I sat there for twenty minutes, just staring at the door, mouth open, wondering what the Hell had just happened. I'd been so mired in my own guilt over Jimmy's death that I'd left her to sit through all of it, including the disappearance of her one close relative, who could have been dead for all we knew. The thought that Chloe, who was assuredly the strongest I knew, the thought that she'd even contemplate suicide was mind blowing. I couldn't even imagine coming home from the Fortress and, I don't know what-finding her body, finding the Watchtower boarded up, or the Talon apartment empty. She'd been my best friend since I was thirteen, since I didn't even know what I was, and, even after she knew I wasn't human, her faith and love for me had never wavered.

I'd made it waver by leaving her the one time she really needed me and dug that knife deeper by refusing to reset time (still the best idea after my dad's death) and then treating her horribly, even shoving her hard on red K, which mom always reminded me was still what I wanted deep down. I'd really almost hurt her and definitely emotionally hurt her.

Still, she'd lost everything for me, erased 'Chloe Sullivan' from existence, and not really for Ollie. She didn't have to go so deeply underground when she'd had a plan all along to fool the Suicide Squad. She could have come back to us, except she knew that anyone connected to Watchtower and to the JLA would be taken or detained like Tess and Emil. She'd stayed away for nine months in order to save all of us, to save me most, and I'd not even taken her hand and trusted her.

I'd rarely hated myself more then.

Eventually, the quiet of the 'Tower was interrupted by strong hands on my shoulders.

Looking up, I saw J'onn. "How long have you been here?"

"Longer than you think, Kal-El," he replied, pulling me to my feet. "I didn't eavesdrop, but I've been standing her for ten minutes watching you think. I assumed you needed time to gather yourself together for whatever happened between you and Chloe."

I shook my head and wiped my hands off on my sweatpants. "I've fucked up so much."

"I wasn't going to point that out, but now that you mention it..."

I sighed and rolled my eyes and began to pace. "I had no idea how depressed she was. How didn't I notice?"

"You were very busy with your own troubles, and myopia apparently was one of your gifts."

"Ha-ha," I said, pushing my glasses back up my nose. "You know what I meant. I'm suppose to be her support. she's saved my life so many times, my secret, kept me from hurting people, even freaking stopped the government from making me minced meat. I just...how could I have taken her for granted and not even cared."

J'onn nodded and leaned against a computer bank. "I can understand your motivations. I do understand. You retreat when you have so much pain in your life. It's not only very human but extremely Kryptonian. Your people were horrible with emotion, maybe because they grew to disdain it in most cases."

"Not Lara or Kara."

"They were rare," he conceded. "It's in both your natures-Jonathan's upbringing and you own emotional make up-to run when burned so badly. You can even see the ebbs and flows of it. Chloe gets engaged to Jimmy, and you turn to her cousin for support. Chloe's furious with you for leaving her, you get even closer to Lois and start to date. She leaves without saying goodbye, tearing apart your trust in her and leaving you wondering if you were ever friends, and you hope to get married within a few weeks really of Lois accepting your secret, or so you thought accepting it. That's just since I've known you and watched your life unfold or heard about it from her end."

"I...it worked like that too before. She dumped me after formal and I went straight to Lana cause it was easier, same after Dark Thursday. I got the brush off and then became so obsessed with Lana and Lex. I didn't realize there was a reason for it."

"Not exactly an alien one, no, but a mix of your inherited nature to be so buried and growing up learning how to be a man in the Midwest. Either way, you run and bottle and react by doing anything easy to avoid the hurt. You and Chloe have had nothing but missed connections."

"I left her and she hates me! Hell, I hate me," I said, collapsing on the sofa, not even caring when Lucky started to groom my bangs.

I'd probably earned that too.

"She doesn't hate you. If she really hated you, she'd never have given up her identity and risked everything for the League."

"Yeah but that's because she started it basically and kept it intact when we collapsed. It's her baby too."

"Are you that stupid?"

"No! I just, if she'd done the same thing, I'd have never wanted to talk to her again. There's just no excuse."

"I'm not supposed to read people, but sometimes things come off of all of you in waves."

"Um?" I started, actually reaching up to stroke Lucky's back. I needed the comfort then. "Like?"

"I knew what she'd thought about once I got my abilities back. I felt it on her in waves; it's probably something she was very glad you didn't read off her when Jor-El gave you that ability temporarily. However-"

"There's a however?"

"It's why we started, most of us in the League, having lunches together, being more social than the fight."

"I didn't realize that either. Where was I?"

"With Lois," J'onn said sharply. "Even if you and Chloe had ever dated, you have to learn not to make one person your whole existence and push others aside when you're in a relationship. It's unhealthy."

"And it comes back to kick you in the ass," I added. Then I sighed and shooed Lucky away. He chittered a bit and stuck something in his mouth. Huh, I wondered if I had lice. Maybe I should get that checked too. "The point is I'm about as shit out of luck in the romance department anyway. I think that people would date a janitor with no money, basically, about as much as they'd date an alien."

"I disagree on the extraterrestrial dating," J'onn said, and he couldn't stop from smiling a little.

"Oh man," I said, letting it drop. "You know what I mean. I'm pretty hopeless either way. Lana wanted the normal guy with advantages in the sack of course, and Lois wanted to be with a superhero because it was exciting and I was cool. I couldn't win!"

"And Chloe has always cared about all sides of you."

"You're reading me now?"

"No, you're broadcasting it and I'd be blind not to merely see it. Alien or farm kid or human down on his luck, she cares deeply about you, put her life on hold to comfort you."

"So you think I have a shot with her?"

I asked and maybe I was too hopeful. It was so stupid. How could I have three types of vision once and never seen Lois had been a mix of me having a Chloe substitute, a slam dunk guarantee from Brainiac 5 (yeah right), and ego stroking on her end. J'onn and Conner both saw it and Conner barely knows me or, maybe, he knows my instincts very well.

I clearly didn't.

J'onn sighed. "Just because those feelings are still there does it mean you still can win her. Kal-El, have you ever seen a film called The Graduate ."

"Um no? Wait! Is that the one with Ferris Bueller and the Komodo dragon?"

"No that's not. It's a movie from the late '60s."

I frowned. "How long have you even been here?"

"A while," he conceded. "The point is, in the last scene, Dustin Hoffman rushes in and interrupts a wedding."

"Oh I've seen that done before!"

"Yes, it's an homage usually, the beating on the stained glass windows."

"Yup. I should do that?"

"No, that's the scene everyone remembers. The actual final scene is him and the girl who left the altar on a bus, with no prospects and no plans, staring at each other in silence. It's not a happy ending at all."

"I don't understand," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "You say that Chloe still loves me and never stopped. You say that I made a mistake but Lois was sublimating everything. You go through all of that, but then say that I can't say it, that it'd ruin her life. Why? Because I'm human now? Because I have a shit job, literally, and Oliver's got everything back again and can spoil her rotten?"

"No, Kal-El, because she's happy with what she has. She may not have what she wants but she has what she needs to stay content and well. If you love her, you'll let her go."

I dropped my arms and stared at him.

I didn't have an answer for that.

"Okay," Conner said, handing me a piece of lobster meat and a huge root beer float he'd ordered for me (it went okay together, don't ask). "Let me get this whole thing straight."

I sighed, leaned back on the king-sized bed and waited for him to continue. "You're really abusing mom's goodwill."

"Well," he said, biting into a bit of filet mignon. "It's not like the taxpayers are covering it and, besides, I think she wants to spoil me after everything's been so shitty."

"Uh-huh, cool it on her credit card or you'll be with me and Lucky and Shel will be in the presidential suite."

"Maybe," he conceded. "Okay, so now that I'm back to your day yesterday. Chloe saw you naked, you freaked out and then it turned to her telling you she was upset as all Hell when you left and then J'onn told you she's still in love with you but to hang it up cause she is at least happy and you basically make her miserable."

"When do you have time to breathe?"

"Kryptonian," he quipped. "Anyway, I've got all that."

"Basically."

"Oh and the part where you had to plunger out the ladies' room on the ninth floor because someone flushed something absorbent yet unflushable."

"I've done cow insemination, horse mucking out, and birthed foals. I have still never done something that rancid. Like I said, my job sucks."

"If you'd-"

"If you say anything about the farm, I will kill you. I can find green K. Hell, I can get my wedding ring and see how you like it."

"I'll be good," Conner said. "Being you sucks, don't want to join the depowered club."

"Object lesson, I know."

"So you, uh, just plunged right? You didn't have to get up to your elbows in that, did you?"

"I had gloves!" I defended.

"But you showered before coming over here this afternoon, right?"

"Hell yes."

He smirked. "Did you lock the door this time?"

"Yeah, I'll never forget that one." I brought a pillow to my face and sighed again. "My life is so ruined. How could I have been so stupid about Chloe for eleven freaking years."

"Well, I think we have three types of women."

I threw the pillow off my face and frowned. " We ? How weird is that?"

He shrugged. "It's not like I have your memories, like when I was Alexander, but I have some of your taste. It just is what it is."

"Huh."

"Yeah, petri dish thing," he said too breezily. "I mean, I think you and Lex mean that exotic brunettes are cool to me. But you're such a random dude because you're so...I dunno torn. Lois and Lana it was right?"

"Yeah?"

"Mom has a picture of you two from sophomore year. Anyway, they're like super pretty, you'd have to be blind not to either like Lois's body or Lana's face, if you swing that way or are a guy."

"Uh-huh?"

"But I didn't...Chloe's pretty in a real way, which makes sense since she is literally the girl next door. I didn't think much of her when Tess took me to meet her and Ollie in Star City before I met up with mom to live in Georgetown."

"She did that?"

"Yeah, she wanted me to meet the gang, basically. Chloe was nice, but I didn't get it."

"Okay?"

"She's been so sweet the last few days here at the hotel, making sure I'm feeling better and hanging out with me an hour or two a day. She reminds me a lot of Tess."

"The part where Tess had some patented Luthor rage issues or the part where they were both once Watchtower."

Conner shook his head. "No, the part where they're both so selfless and clearly care a lot about me, no questions asked."

"Chloe just met you."

"Well more or less, but, if you think about it, she's a good empathetic person who helps everyone. But I'm also part you . On one level, she's always gonna want to care for me. I mean, Tess nursed a massive crush on you at the end. The way she went on about you-"

I blinked. How freaking obtuse was I?

"She did?"

He nodded. "She was so happy you trusted her and were there for her after she found out about her real family. You should know that."

"Thanks. So I liked Lois and Lana cause they were pretty and Chloe's still attractive but you fall in love with her cause of her personality?"

"I'm saying, you have three types basically-boobs, ethereally gorgeous, and supportive relationship. Boobs and beauty fade, dude. The last doesn't."

"Wow, that's really sage for a seventeen year old."

Conner shrugged again. "Technically I'm nine months old."

"Oh, right."

"Anyway, isn't it getting on toward six? You'll need to get food and hop that subway to get to work."

"Can you get a cab for me and pay for it?"

Conner laughed. "No man, this is too funny, maybe there were sloppy Joe's this time!"

"I hate you...me...whatever."

"I gave you lobster!"

"Uh-huh, thanks," I huffed, heading out the door to get a start on my night shift.

Chloe didn't come for that whole next week. She still made an effort, don't get confused. She sent nice emails every day, sent cards to Conner's room for him to give to me. Hand to God, one day she had a bouquet of like "Get Well" balloons to the Watchtower. I bet she'd have done like yellow friendship roses if it didn't still seem weird. I found the idea of "Get Well" balloons funny. I think she must have picked them (a safari theme by the way, maybe so Lucky would feel less lonely) as a close facsimile of "Sorry you lost your powers and are completely mortal now but it'll get better" balloons.

They don't have a market for that really.

I can't imagine why.

Oliver was supposed to come by to train my on Wednesday, but he'd had an emergency with his company back in Star City so he wouldn't even be home until Monday morning. I wanted to patrol. Hell, I wanted Chloe and J'onn to even show me how to do more for Watchtower since I was pretty hopeless with computers. I'd been good at it once, but all the science and math prowess as well as the photographic memory went the way of the strength or heat vision.

Bummer.

I didn't always work nights, just Friday through Sunday. I had Monday to try and switch sleep schedules, and worked Tuesday through Thursday mornings. Got time to try and recover and then back again. So far, I'd dumped more trash and recycling than I could count, unplugged at least four toilets, unclogged a sink and freaking almost broken my thumb when the wrench slipped, and, my favorite highlight, gotten a dead rat out of the roof tiles where it had been trapped.

I missed farming and reporting so much.

Hell, I missed any job where the smell factor was only a seven (I know cows reek, I do get that, but there's bad and then really Oh God bad).

I wasn't sure if Chloe was going to be able to muster up the courage to see me face to face. I had this vision of my dresser covered in a ton of cards and maybe candy grams over the next few months. That thought hurt like Hell. I'd just got her back, whatever our relationship was, and she was leaving soon. I didn't want to waste from June until her plans to go in early September never really hanging out.

Sunday morning was the day mom came into town.

It was also the day I came downstairs from my room in my nicest khakis and button down for brunch with her and, instead, walked in on her and J'onn sharing a kiss. I should have known there was a reason he was taking the shift today when it was Diana's turn.

"Oh man," I said and they parted as if I'd scalded them. Mom straightening her hair and J'onn his purple leather coat. "I know you guys are dating. I respect that. I just don't need to see it cause you're mom and you don't...it made me kind of annoyed with Lionel flirting and with Perry. Can't it be hands off visit?"

"I'm sorry, Kal-El. We'll not rub your nose in it," J'onn conceded. "I know you still miss your father."

"Exactly, sweetie. We can respect the PDA rules," mom added and then she looked at my right wrist, really looked at it in a way she hadn't at the VRA fiasco or at the wedding. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Clark Jerome Kent, where is your father's watch?"

I'd buried it by his tombstone after Brainiac 5 had showed me the wonder future that never happened. I'd tried to get over his death by literally burying everything about him and it.

"I can explain!" I said, holding up my hands, and groaning when I realized it gave her an even better view of my arm.

"Can you?"

Oh I was even more dead than last time. I knew this because J'onn made an excuse to be out the door. It was then I realized that the entire JLA was scared shitless of my mother and, also, should she ever become a supervillain (and she could; she's smart), then the world would be screwed.

Just like I was now.


	11. Chapter 11

11

Alright, look, I get it. I know I'm losing both my (former) superhero street cred and my man card by saying my 5'4, fifty year old mom intimidates me. I know you were thinking that last time she caught me hiding things. But, come on, it's my mom. She's not only creative at punishments, but I don't like her disapproving of me. I mean, let's be honest here, I was beyond lucky she found me. I figure the other ninety-nine percent of people out there would have taken me straight to a lab or the military. Mom took me home and convinced dad it would be a good idea.

I never wanted to shake that faith in me.

When she'd been here back in the winter, telling me how important I'd be (yeah right), I'd felt so good. Her faith was overwhelming.

So when she looked at me so upset, it hurt as much as her adoration had made me happy. She's my mom after all and I just wanted to make her proud of me.

Sighing, I sat down on the spiral staircase. There was no easy was to say this. "I don't have it anymore."

"Did you sell that off too?" she asked me coolly.

"Never, not that, not after Lana had to track it down in every pawn shop in Metropolis." It had been probably the nicest thing she'd ever done for me in our whole tangled relationship. I did owe her for that.

"Then why aren't you wearing it?"

"This is going to make you mad."

"I'm already there," she said, tapping her foot impatiently. "Where is it?"

"I, uh, might have buried right by dad's tombstone."

Mom didn't react. I gulped. Dad always was a yeller, but mom got eerily calm, sort of like Lex used to do. Maybe that was a Metropolis thing. "Why would it be there?"

"I was trying to get over dad's death. I...maybe I didn't explain how I saw the future, well the supposed future, well enough."

"I'm listening."

The nice thing about mom was after decades spent in Smallville and an alien son, she'd been pretty ready to accept anything I said, even if it sounded insane. She hadn't needed any reassurances or proof to believe I'd seen my own destiny (or, again, so-called one). I was thinking of asking for a refund back.

"The guy who came back to show me the future, well, he wasn't Lightning Lad or anyone I'd met before."

"Go on."

"It was Brainiac, but he said the Legion reprogrammed him. He was made from what had been removed from Chloe over two years ago. He had a Legion ring and basically did A Christmas Carol with me and showed me the past, present and the future."

"And you believed he had no bad intentions? Clark, after dealing with Brainiac for years, don't you think there's always a price or a trick? He infected me, changed Lex, trapped Kara and made Lana sick and then almost ate all the way through Chloe's mind. He shows up with a ring-just like Booster, if I remember that story from Lois correctly-and says he's Legion and you go along with it?"

"He didn't hurt me or anyone else. He only showed me things I needed to see. He didn't hurt me at all."

"Alright, so he didn't physically fight you. What exactly did he show you, be honest."

"Well the future and I was wearing the suit you'd made me and I could fly. Lois was completely in love with me and we shared an office on the eighth floor and we weren't actually married come to think of it."

"That was the future. I see."

"What does that mean?"

"We'll talk about that."

"Okay, and then the present where Oliver was sad over Chloe and where Lois was standing by the punch bowl waiting for me."

"Also following, what was the past?"

"Dad's funeral," I said, holding my voice even. I was not going to tell her about Lionel 1.0 and dad. It wouldn't serve any purpose with both men dead. It just wouldn't. "He said that's where I started going corrupt when I was so, well, out of it last year."

"Like when Rao Towers burned?"

"I-"

"I knew everything that happened last year. Chloe was plugged in as Watchtower but I was Red Queen and Waller answered to me . I knew you were going off the rails."

"And you didn't stop me?"

"I came to town eventually, didn't I?"

"Uh, yeah."

"The point of all of that was to look after you, to care for you, but I couldn't tell you what to do at twenty-three. You had to realize that brute force wasn't the answer and you did seem to get better, softer, by the time you had to face Zod."

"Yes, but I was still being so arrogant. It took Jor-El ass-kicking me and Brainiac Five showing me why I'd become so dark, to really get on a better path."

She nodded. "I know you went through a bad patch after your father died. Chloe told me about how angry you were at the man who roughed me up and stole the watch."

Mad was an understatement. I'd come very close to killing him, as I had with Phelan or with Alicia's murderer. Maybe even as I'd come with Tess over Jor-El's clone's death.

It's possible I hadn't deserved my powers anyway, and that was a sobering thought.

"I was, but I didn't hurt him at the end of the day. I wanted to."

"After Lana's wedding, the meteor mutants who were hurt in the Slums was you too."

"Yeah."

"You get hurt and angry and you get more violent that you should. It lets out your feelings and you spend so much time bottling them. It's why the red Kryptonite is really dangerous. It gives you an excuse to let all that rage and pain out. You just have never talked about it."

"I know," I said, not sure where she was going with this.

"Your father died over five years ago. You weren't hurting Tess or burning the 's' all over the town after he died. You weren't even doing that back when the Blur was still in red and blue. What were you so mad about?"

"I-"

"It wasn't corruption from your father's death, though I know that has caused us no end of pain."

"Then I don't know," I said, realizing there were two things that had changed drastically before I really went overboard.

The first time I really remembered using excessive force on anyone or abusing my abilities was with Lois when I could read her mind. It hadn't hurt her, by any means, but it hadn't really been honest. Then I'd come close to burning a man for life who'd held a gun to her and Ollie on their set up date. That had been a few weeks later. Then Tess; it had snowballed then.

"You do, don't you?"

"No."

"What were you so angry about?"

"Myself, okay? I let Jimmy die. I made that choice to show Davis mercy and not kill him when it would have been smarter to do that and my friend died."

"Mercy's something you shouldn't be ashamed of."

"But someone close to me died when I made a massive mistake. I just...I'd been too emotional."

"Too human but the Fortress's standards? Since when would you even listen to Jor-El after what he's done to our whole family, let alone let him touch your mind with training. Clearly he put stuff in your head that you weren't supposed to have."

"Chloe told you about the telepathy?"

"She kept me informed a lot; she always has since Lionel's death. I needed someone to really tell me what was happening when I was in D.C. It's part of how I knew you weren't doing well."

"And you let me make my own mistakes?"

"Sometimes you have to. I knew Chloe would never let you go so far you'd hurt or kill someone."

"The towers came close," I admitted. "It was terrorism; the VRA was right."

"Yes, it was."

Ouch, she said it so stonily. The truth between us and there was nothing I could do to change it. I hadn't been the son she'd raised that year and I was ashamed of it, of how frequently I'd abused my power.

"So you were mad about Jimmy's death and tried to be all Kryptonian, yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then how does that relate to your father?"

"But Brainiac said-"

"Review that sentence. Since when would you trust any version?"

"I don't know."

"Why were you so violent, Clark. How did it get so bad."

"I don't know; I let someone die mom. I just couldn't get over that."

I knew what had exacerbated my guilt, that anger I couldn't bury even with training. I just couldn't bear to say it to mom.

"Then if you know what it is, you know it wasn't your father's death. What happened after Brainiac showed you that, after Homecoming?"

"I went to his grave and I said I couldn't keep mourning him, that it was dragging me down and I'd never forget him. That's why I buried the watch, I needed to just bury all of it."

"That's the opposite of what you're supposed to do. You can't let it all out at once as a rage like you did two years ago, but you can't shove it deep down and never deal either. Baby, you have two speeds and neither of them are healthy at all. How dare you think you could bury your father like that. I gave him that watch as he did mine as a wedding gift. He never took it off. If you didn't want it anymore, you had the responsibility to give it back to me. Now it'll never work again."

"No, it won't."

"And that's really why you sold the farm, to keep running from your past and your pain and from your father's death."

I balled my hands at my side. "He died protecting me. If I'd never run to Metropolis, he'd never even would have had a heart condition."

"He wanted to do that. He loved you enough for that."

"I didn't ask for that."

"You didn't have to; he made his choice."

"That's what Brainiac said. It was so confusing. He said we all had to make a choice, but then my future was preordained, except for the part where none of that ever happened."

"I don't even think I need to talk about how you amped up getting engaged to Lois after you saw that vision."

"Nah, other people have pointed that out already and I feel like an idiot for not seeing that the guarantee from Brainiac had really affected my choices."

"You've made a lot of foolish moves based on assumptions and pain. That's very human of you, but, once, you had a responsibility to be smarter about that, to be more careful."

I laughed ruefully. "Not anymore."

"You're not absolved from being the man I raised because you're powerless, don't even start."

"Yes ma'am."

"You know what made you so violent last year, even more than Jimmy's death. You know where the real corruption lies and that Brainiac was hard selling a future with Lois like a carrot. I think you need to take a step back and see what his real motives were and if he was as beneficent as you assumed he was."

"How do I even do that? It's not like he's around to interview!"

Mom shook her head and gathered up her purse. "We're still going to brunch with your brother so stand up, Clark."

"Yes ma'am," I replied again, getting to my feet.

"You were a reporter for a long time. Investigate."

"Oh right," I replied, coming down the stairs. "So, uh, you're not going to tell Conner about me repeatedly roughing up Tess that year. I don't think he'd understand it."

She sighed. "I won't tell him, but you should. Things never stay buried for long, Clark, even watches."

It took another week of persistent emails and me begging for Chloe to agree to meet me at the neutral territory of the Java Hut. In the interim week, life had gone on at my job, nothing exciting and a few moments I'd not want to relive. Diana and J'onn had switched off at Watchtower over the week, and my first sparring session with Ollie left me more sore than I could explain to you, also pretty much bruised all over my torso. It's not that he'd been trying to hurt me, it's just that he'd connected with me cause I sucked at sparring.

I also double sucked at trying to learn archery. Near-sightedness plus arrows meant I had no aim at all.

I was not really making a splash as a mortal crime fighter yet.

Chloe sat down hesitantly across from me, eyes wary. This time I handed her an explosion of frozen coffee and whipped cream. "Clark?"

"Hey, uh, I know we haven't seen each other in two weeks and that it was super awkward."

And nakedness had been the least of that. I know Chloe had never meant to let me know she'd thought about hurting herself, that she'd fallen that far. She often got as embarrassed and conflicted as I did about sharing her real feelings. It was a good thing, in some ways, that when we were on and having a good part in our tangled relationship, we couldn't really lie to each other, that we could read each other's smallest motions. I just hadn't been in that mind frame two years ago.

"Mom and I had a long talk last time she was in town."

"What about?"

"About two things-that year I was a complete, violent jerk and me seeing the future."

"Did you put on the Fate Helmet too?" She asked, blinking back at me.

"No, we'll get to that. I want to apologize for what I did. I even pushed you and threatened you. I never wanted to be that guy to you."

"You were high," she said, giving me smile number three. She knew me well enough to know how bullshit that was.

"I was a jerk and I threatened my greatest asset and best friend. Only an asshole does that."

"Okay, you did scare me a lot," she admitted. "I should have told you about the green K for the others. I just figured you'd take it badly and I was right."

"And I should have realized long ago that you can't reason with Zod."

"We both weren't our best then."

"We weren't a team then," I said. "Mom asked me why I really got so violent and I was hurting. I assumed this year that it was over dad's death still and guilt from that, but it wasn't. I was feeling sad about Jimmy and my role in that, but it wasn't just that."

"I don't understand?"

"It was you. I should never have left you and then you were pushing me to Lois-"

"I was not! You came back in love with her!"

"Somewhat and I wonder if Jor-El had been screwing with me, to be honest, cause it didn't make sense when just a few weeks ago, you'd been the one on my mind."

"Bullshit, Clark."

"I came back and you called me inhuman when you know I can't fuck with time, not after dad died and Linda Lake stuff happened. I just can't."

"I know and that was cruel."

"It was, but I just...if you were gonna say that, then why couldn't I be Kryptonian and cold."

"Bullshit reasoning. You can't be a violent ass because I hurt you."

"No, I shouldn't have. Then I dunno...you were trying to help me with the toxin for the zombies. I was pretty out of it but you were so gentle with me and then we were back to fighting."

"You can't use me as an excuse for beating me and Tess up or scorching buildings or abandoning your friends."

"No, I can't, but I had to realize where I went so wrong. I saw you and Ollie sitting at this spot after the Roulette thing. I was working on a lead and you didn't see me. I...it was all down hill from there."

"You've never felt that way about me, not once have you ever seen me as more than 'just Chloe,' and I've accepted that. I understand that. I've moved on, alright?"

"I...this isn't about any of that. I just...losing you and I'd done that, made us almost enemies, it hurt and I didn't handle the rejection or pain right at all. I get that now. I probably would have been horrible this year too but I thought the pain was about dad. Brainiac Five said-"

"Huh?"

"The Legion reprogrammed what they took out of you and called it Brainiac Five. He came to me at Homecoming and explained that my dad's death corrupted me and I think it changed me a lot, but I didn't go violent until the guilt over Jimmy's death and I got worse with us drifting so badly and fighting all the time. I let it happen but this year, I just buried everything about dad and clung exclusively to Lois."

"Because you saw the same future I did."

"You saw 2017?"

"No, I saw 2013 but you guys were already married. It's how I knew to sent the engagement present to Lois."

"No, that's...I saw four years later and we weren't even engaged. That doesn't even make sense."

"Does it matter? One time or another or even this spring. You were supposed to be together. If you still had your powers, you would be."

"Not for the right reasons. Brainiac showed me it would be easy and Lois, apparently, was into having a purpose via me, to being the Blur's reason to fight and support system."

"Nothing wrong with that."

"She saw The Blur but she didn't see me. That's hard. I...this isn't about us, except for me to apologize. I've been a shit friend. We've been better now, but you haven't even been around for me to be rude to. I mean, I haven't had a chance to fuck things up."

She sighed and patted my hand. "That's what being friends means. We forgive each other, always have. I made such a huge fucking mistake with Lionel when we were kids. I was petty over Lana too. I was an obsessed bitch in Watchtower; I didn't even like myself then, you know that. But we're friends, Clark. I accept the apology. Thank you for giving it to me."

"You're welcome. I'm sorry it's two years too late."

"Maybe for the best that we grew up. We were always way too codependent. I needed my year abroad to get myself back, to meet other people like Bruce and Diana and Hal. I needed to remember who I was and I did that; it's why I'm back in journalism and won't ever go back to the 'Tower full time, no matter what. You needed not to have me or Martha in your life for a while, to stand on your own, and the Blur...he was a hero again this year. You know he was."

"I was," I said, sighing a little. "But I'd have been screwed with the VRA without both of you. Mom got the law overturned and you saved us all. I'd be a lab rat or a government weapon, and those are my two greatest fears rolled into one. You stopped all of that. Thank you."

"All in a day's work for the best sidekick in town."

"You're one of us. I told Oliver that when you left. You're are equal. Hell, you're definitely better than I am now. I'm hopeless at computers and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with an arrow."

She shrugged. "We'll find something you're good at, promise."

"Hope so! I hit Diana yesterday with a padded arrow and she didn't look happy. I keep being afraid I'll offend her and end up bent into pieces."

"Maybe," Chloe replied, chuckling. "I just...so what do you need from me besides a nice apology, which is appreciated."

"I wish I'd trusted you when it mattered. I should have in the virtual world and I should have at my wedding. I should have."

"Do you now?"

"Like I said, 'with my life.'"

"Good then, me too with you."

"I couldn't save a kitten."

"It's not about the powers, Clark. It doesn't have to be. I wasn't always what I am now. I wasn't even a fraction of the hacker I am now either. Sometimes, you just start small."

"Chlo?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that I deserved this? That maybe the universe was smarter than me? I didn't deserve my powers one damn bit after I got back from the Fortress."

"You saved people a lot this year and even then. You did a good job."

"Maybe, but maybe, I dunno, I'm too easy to go astray, too violent and stunted deep down. I just...maybe it is better this way."

She frowned and squeezed my hand. "Clark, your ability to help people is not the same as your powers. Do you understand that?"

"It was always in my powers. Otherwise, I'm maybe just an average guy, a blind basically average guy."

"I don't believe that. Not after I figured out about Eric Summers or when we saved your parents and Lana. Hell, you came for me all by yourself at Black Creek."

"And I got shot and died, if I remember correctly."

"You'll figure something out. I...you're worth a ton more than you think you are."

"Lois didn't think that much of just Clark Kent, dork."

"Then she was an idiot," Chloe said, retracting behind smile number four and withdrawing her hand. "I know you loved her and awful lot. It'll hurt less some day."

Like her with me.

I forced my thoughts away from that and smiled at her. "Okay, so that's actually what I need. I need the Woodward to my Bernstein again."

"How so?"

"Mom thinks Brainiac had an ulterior motive and I think he did too. He shoved happy future that never happened with Lois basically down my throat and then he got me to think my issues were my dad when the bulk of them were with you and my own guilt over Jimmy's death. Hell, he pushed me to forget my past and just get on the future train."

"Okay, not following."

"I think he was pushing me toward one specific timeline, one without you."

"Clark-"

"No, I'm serious. I don't think the Legion wanted us to, um, be friends."

"Yeah but the Fate Helmet wasn't wrong on anything. I even timed perfectly when you asked Lois to marry you."

"But maybe its actions were in part connected to Brainiac Five steering me on the so-called right track to being the world's hero."

"Well, we know that didn't pan out as well as we'd have hoped," she said wryly.

"I...this is just I need my friend here and you're still the best investigator in town."

"Oh very true."

"I think the Legion was playing me and I want proof."

"How?"

"We need to go to Smallville; I have a feeling I wasn't the only one he visited."

"Deal then, Blur. Let me call Ollie and we'll drive out there together."

"I-"

She wasn't listening, and was already on the phone. "Perfect. Thanks, hon." Hanging up her cell, she beamed back at me with the real Chloe smile, the one she'd had when I agreed to play Santa for her. "He'll get the limo and pick us up in the hour. Now more caffeine."

I swallowed back my frustration and stood up to get her more coffee and muffins. "Alright, Watchtower."

She laughed. "We really need to get better names!


	12. Chapter 12

12

Riding with Chloe and Ollie wasn't that awkward. I mean they are not the type of couple who just suck face all the time and shove your face in it. I appreciated that. Still, his arm slung around her shoulder in the limo made me sad. I had been such an idiot. If I had pressed her after Spring Formal or when I got back from the Phantom Zone. Hell, if I'd been there for her after Jimmy's death, maybe I'd be that guy, and have her support. Brainiac had been wrong about Lana. It was Chloe who was always the constant support, the one there when beauty and physical attraction faded.

"Clark?" she asked, frowning back at me. "You okay?"

I shrugged and adjusted my stupid glasses. "I just can't believe that Legion played me. I mean, maybe they thought it was for my own good and maybe we're wrong, but I just don't feel like I am."

"Well we need to figure out just if anyone else in Smallville is off."

Oliver whistled. "So, sidekick, your theory is that something is wrong in Smallville. That'll be hard to narrow down. No offense, but your hometown is the home of the weird."

"None taken. We both know that," she replied. "There's even little green men."

"Ha-ha."

"Well how do we know you're not like that alien from Men In Black and you're all little in a space suit."

I snorted. "Right, Chlo, that's totally how it works."

"I love you, worm guy," she giggled winking back at me.

I tossed my red jacket at her. "Whatever, Chlo."

"Well she has a point? Can you fix geraniums, Clark?" Oliver pressed.

"I can't fix much of anything anymore." They went silent. Yeah, I was a total mood killer. We rode in silence until we reached Smallville High. I frowned back at Chloe as we stopped at the main steps. "It's Saturday."

"I have friends in high places," she replied, hoping out of the car.

She looked like we'd never graduated really, in jeans and a paisley print shirt, her boots adding some height to her. Hell, her hair was even hacked to bits (although not bleached so brightly) like when we'd been juniors. I smiled to myself. Things had never been simple. That'd be a lie when I was an alien in a town full of often psychotic mutants and Luthors, lying through my teeth all the time. It was easier though, the pressure no so bad. Nothing global threatening us. Time to be kids, at least once in a while. If I tried hard enough, stepping out of the limo in my jeans, blue t-shirt and favorite jacket, I could almost pretend we were still in high school.

Then Oliver shut the door and ordered the driver to pull into a spot. Walking over, he slung a shoulder casually around Chloe's shoulder and my illusion shattered. We weren't two against the world anymore and we never ever would be again.

Sighing, I put a smile on my face and walked up to follow both of them. "So Chlo? Who are your friends? You haven't been back here in over a year!"

She smirked and held out her hands as a girl with hair almost as choppy as her own squealed and rushed into her arms. "Oh my God! You're really here! The Chloe Sullivan."

Chloe pulled away, still smiling broadly. "Zoe, nice to meet you, but I go by 'Anne Queen' now. It's how I stay under the radar."

Zoe nodded. "Because you know too much."

Chloe winked back at her. "Exactly. So where's Clayton?"

"Chloe!" the boy, and Clark also recognized him from the new digital Torch, also ran up. He had a massive scrapbook in his arms. "We have a present. It's every article you ever did at the Torch. We downloaded them all from the website and cut them out. I don't know if you already had them."

"Not anymore," she admitted. And I knew that was true because of what had happened to The Talon.

"Then you'll love this. Zoe even decorated it and we added two letters," he finished, handing it over to Oliver. "Hey, can you hold this?"

Despite himself, Ollie grinned. It wasn't often people ignored the superhero-billionaire but fawned over the girl in the shadows, the hero behind the heroes. "Sure, I'd love to."

"We know we can't take a picture, because you're underground and they can't know."

I quirked my head at Chloe knowing she'd never reveal what she had done with the Suicide Squad or with the VRA. Hell, even if she were standing here, married to the Green Arrow, she'd never ever reveal Justice's secrets. She just smiled enigmatically back at me.

"But?"

"Can you sign your first piece?" he said, unfolding something she'd done about Lex Luthor coming to town.

Ironic.

She nodded. "But I have to sign it under my pseudonym."

Both kids nodded as she signed each of their copies. "Thanks Chloe!"

She laughed and hugged both again, just once for good measure. "No problems, my Torchettes. So what do you have for me about people acting oddly since homecoming?"

"Oh, we know exactly who the prime suspect is," Clayton said and then he looked nervously at me. "Ah, Clark?"

"Right? Do I get a book?"

"Um not so much," Zoe replied. "Did you want one?"

"No," I pouted a little. I had done mostly lunch menus and gym mat stories after all. "But what's up."

Zoe and Clayton looked at each other and walked briskly to the front door of the school. Zoe entered the correct combo on the padlock and they pulled off the chains binding it. She looked back at all of us and waved for us to join them. We followed and she and Clayton still exchanged looks at me.

Never a great sign.

We followed them to the nominal home of The Torch, where the computers were for updating the digital wall. When we sat down on the familiar sofa (at least Ollie and I, Chloe didn't really want to be but so close to me, ouch), Clayton clacked a little on his laptop and pointed its screen at me.

The first set of articles were all about my saves in Smallville, things I'd been connected to like the caves or Alicia Baker, even the Luthors a few times, some of the more intense games I'd won in football. Now that I knew I was blind as a bat, I felt sort of bad about that. I didn't know I couldn't actually see. Except, maybe, my vision had just deteriorated since college. That was still a depressing thought.

"I don't understand?"

"I think you do," Zoe replied and she sounded like Chloe on a case when she did it.

Flashbacks galore.

The next set were about the blur and the VRA coverage and everything in between over the last three years. I was torn between blushing and sighing. It was flattering in a weird way that they'd researched so much about The Blur , but it was also sad because I'd fucking lost all of that, my usefulness as a person really.

"I-"

"Clark, we haven't said a word about 'Anne' in nine months," Zoe said quietly. "You're standing here hanging out with the Green Arrow and your record in Smallville is obvious to anyone who can put two pieces of info together. You're The Blur ."

I looked at Chloe and she nodded. If she trusted them with her secret, as a show of good will, I would with mine. Besides, I no longer was him anyway. "I was."

"We noticed you hadn't been around in the last three weeks but that a different group of people stopped that weird asteroid thing heading to Metropolis. This like really hot woman saved the president even!" Clayton replied.

Zoe smacked him and I laughed at that.

"Uh, yeah, about that. I lost my powers, permanently. I don't really want to prove I can be hurt and stuff, but you should believe it. I'm totally just a guy now. I, um, had to retire."

They looked back at each other. "Well at least your're still at the DP; that's the best job ever."

I laughed, despite my situation. Chloe always said that when it was a real paper.

Chloe frowned at her fan club and then reached down to pat my hand. "Actually, Lex Luthor, now that he's back, owns it and Clark got let go."

"Oh, well, at least you still have your health, mostly," Clayton amended. "I'm going to stop trying to cheer you up," he finished.

"See Clark?" Oliver said, patting my knee for a sec. "I like these kids. Sunny-side up and all that."

"Thanks, Mr. Queen," Zoe replied. "Clark, there's one other set," she said, handing me a thick sheaf, most of it was on the meteor infected-Justin Gaines, Sean Kelvin, Alicia even.

"Who collected these? They're all mutants I stopped or had a close tie to."

"Our guidance counselor. We also found that all in her office when Chloe asked us to investigate. We also found this," Clayton said, handing me a doll. It looked like me, down to my favorite jacket. Hell, I was that predictable in my wardrobe but it could have been my double.

Chloe took it from me and frowned. "That's a voodoo doll."

I gulped. Magic could hurt me; I figured in voodoo to that. "Did she have that at homecoming."

"Yup, we found all this in a file drawer. Principal Reynolds let's us have a master key. It wasn't hard. She's been weird since homecoming. She used to frankly be a jerk and sip Schnapps between periods. Since that day, she's practically been Mary Freaking Poppins," Zoe concluded.

Oliver stood and paced a little. "A complete personality reboot."

"Yeah, exactly. It was bizarre."

I blinked. "She had hugged me out of nowhere when I arrived. We weren't really close. I had to see her after I came back from running away from home for 'talking' for a few months."

Chloe frowned back at me. "I never know that."

I shrugged and kept my tone as neutral as I could. "I didn't want to talk about it. It's not like I could say 'Well gee, my alien father tried to brain wash me so I drugged myself and went on a crime spree until my dad got powers for a day to drag my sorry ass home. Oh and I moonlit for Morgan Edge.' It's not like we got very far in our sessions."

"Sarcasm noted," she replied, still frowning.

Zoe and Clayton first stared at me like I'd said that in like Klingon and then grinned at each other. "We knew it!"

"Excuse me?"

"We figured you weren't just a mutant. I called demi-god, to be fair, but Zoe called alien because of all the shower stuff in Smallville," Clayton said.

Chloe smirked. "Girls are often right, I've found."

"Totally," Zoe said. "Um, sorry to get so excited about your life. It was just easy to piece together. You weren't really all that discrete as a kid. We hadn't realized, though, that that spree in Metropolis was you. We were like seven when it happened but I know it was huge news."

I felt kind of old then. "Yeah, I'm not exactly an angel sometimes. I don't rob things though, haven't since then. I'm also, well, I couldn't rob anything if I tried anyway."

"It's okay; we're not really judging. We just wanted the truth," Zoe hedged. "But she was clearly going to hurt you at homecoming, assuming you were connected to meteor mutants going crazy."

"Right but then she gives me a hug and surprises me with that weird homecoming court thing."

"Yup, like we said," Clayton replied. "Rebooted her."

Chloe nodded and shook her head. "I think we know how that went down. It's official stuff," she said.

Clayton and Zoe's eyes went wide. "We get it, Chloe, but if you need us again, just text."

She smiled and shook his hand and hugged Zoe. "Definitely. If you're ever in Star City, you're both on Ollie's permanent admit list."

"Thanks!"

"I'll even give you an interview," he said.

They both shrugged. "We just want to hang out with Chloe! She's awesome," Zoe said.

I grinned. It was kind of neat that the superhero's superhero had a fan club now. Definitely something she'd earned.

Oliver's driver took us to the 'Tower but he couldn't stay. He had a gala function he had to go to or risk losing board approval. I gathered his stunt coming out had really put him in a precarious position with his own company. I wish he'd asked me before he'd done it. I'd been mad about the risk to me and to Justice, but I hadn't realized how much he'd succeed in ruining his own life or having to rebuild it.

Chloe and I were stilted at first. I know I'd said too much and brought up too much pain by talking about her darkest year. Sometimes I wondered why we didn't permanently move Watcthower to the satellite spot out in Star City. There was too much to hate here. It was where Davis and Jimmy had died, where she'd almost been killed if not for the JSA, where I'd hit her.

God, where I'd hit her.

I wasn't even sure how I could live here either.

After a while of staring at each other, her stroking Lucky's back and sitting on the sofa and me drinking water in the kitchenette, she finally started to talk, softly at first as if to no one.

"I didn't know about the therapy. You never mentioned anything. Did Pete know?"

"I didn't tell him. Mom and dad weren't happy about it, but the school made me go to get readmitted."

"I wish I'd known."

I shrugged and drained my glass. "We didn't know each other then."

"Uh, I think we did. I remember trying to come to Metropolis to get your ass home."

"I mean, yeah, we did and had for three years, but you didn't really know me-know me. Mom and dad did and I thought Pete understood since he'd seen my ship, but I was putting on a lot of acting for you."

"So you're not that kid in the loft?"

"Of course I am, but I had to cover up being weird every second of every day. You know what that's like from when you could still heal people. It was impossible. You can't really be who you are or people run or would hurt you, but you wish you could be. That's how I felt like with you, even if I figured by the time I had amnesia you knew."

"Yeah, I was giving you space to tell me."

"I never would have, you know, except for you being in the Fortress and I couldn't lie."

"Did you never trust me?"

"No, Pete got tortured by a fake FBI agent for my secret. It's why he left. Dad got a heart condition from going to save me; mom lost the baby. Everyone who knew had horrible things happen to them. I didn't want to do it to you too, and I wish I hadn't. Look at all the shit you lost because of me."

"Look at all I gained," she said, giving Lucky a peck on the nose and setting him down. "I know things had to be in a roundabout way; I know that. Except my life is everything I wanted it to be-working at a major paper and being good at it, a husband I love, friends who care about me, hell even saving the world-and I'm grateful to you. Even if we've had bad patches, you're the best friend I've ever had. Because of you, I make an impact on the world, still do. I met Bruce and Diana and a lot of other people looking for allies for Justice. Just so many things. I learned I was more than just that girl on a mission to be the best at the DP, that there was so much more to life.

Thank you," she finished.

"What happens now that I'm not that guy?"

"I'd never leave you. I mean, yeah, I have a life in Star City but there's email and IM and phone calls. We can always visit for a weekend if you can't get off work. I'll never go off the grid again."

I sighed and ignored Lucky as he climbed my leg to sit on my shoulder. At least he wasn't grooming me. "I'm not anything special anymore."

"You weren't really in the loft eleven years ago, or I didn't know that. I didn't know it until halfway through senior year for sure. If you had always been just Clark, it wouldn't have mattered."

"But Lois-"

"I'm not Lois," she said, shrugging. "I...if things had been different after Dark Thursday..."

"Yeah I think about that an awful lot lately."

" If they had, I'd never leave you for not being super. You do get that."

"I'd leave me for not being super. I pretty much suck now-near sighted, no longer a genius, crap job literally-I'd never stick up for me."

"Then you don't see who you could be," she said shrugging. "Clark, I should have told you this over coffee this afternoon but you were so intense on figuring stuff out. I think you are right. I think Brainiac Five rebooted her mind like he toyed with mind to want to marry Jimmy so badly when I was going to say no before I was taken."

"You would have?"

"I wasn't ready to get married then," she admitted. "And he'd broken my heart too many times."

Like me.

"But?" I asked out loud.

"But this matches. Brainiac Five's no saint. So why did he make it so he had you all to himself at homecoming? What is it the Legion really wanted?"

"I dunno, besides clearly pushing me to Lois. But they're gone and I have no ring cause Kara took mine and went rogue."

"Booster's from the future. He has that computer thing. He'd know."

"Oh right!"

She nodded. "Tomorrow, you and Ollie and I will go see him and get the low down on what the year 3000 was supposed to be like, and what was supposed to happy with Darkseid cause I think it went wrong."

I snorted. "You think?"

"I know you're tired and bitter."

"You don't know anything. I lost everything I ever had, Chloe."

"I know how that feels. I know how it felt to leave everything behind, even my damn name."

"You chose that; I didn't!"

"But I know it hurts. We'll figure this out. So you're not a hacker or an archer. You'll figure out your skills. You're a big guy, easily Bruce's size if not bigger, though more lean. You have a mean punch, even now. I've seen you in Black Creek and other times without your powers hold your own in a fist fight. We'll figure it out."

"I guess."

She smirked. "It took ten years for me to get this awesome."

I laughed truly for the first time since Lois had put the ring on my finger. "I believe that."

"Exactly. We'll see Booster tomorrow and get some real answers for what we suspect. We're going to make all this fit and make some sense."

"Alright," I said, even stroking Lucky. Now she had me doing it. "What did you need to tell me? The stuff before we went to see Zoe and Clayton. I only have an hour to get ready for night shift."

"We'll have Ollie's limo take you, no worries," she replied. "Clark, I'm getting married."

"Uh, you did that."

"No, 'Chloe Sullivan' did and the prank wasn't legal. Oliver and Anne-I'm technically using the last name Hatcher-we're getting a real wedding. Not as huge as Lana and Lex's. Ollie's not an ostentatious guy, but we are having one, the type I can remember. I've had two ceremonies and between Brainiac and Zatanna, I don't remember a damn thing. I deserve better."

"Yes, you do."

"I...will you come? Dad's in London and even if it's going to be in September when we return, well, he's not really been on speaking terms with me since I got us almost blown up. You gave me away with Jimmy and bought the ring even if we were trashed. Can you give me away again?"

"So no best man duties?"

"Ollie has an old college friend for that, actually, a non-super hero, imagine that."

"We know those types of people?"

"Sometimes," she said, smiling, and it was smile number three. She was forcing herself to be happy. "Please, it'd make me so happy if you did that. I love him and I want this to work. I think a wedding we remember is a good start."

I walked over to her, a bit relieved when a chattering Lucky jumped off me and ran to the fruit bowl. Note to self: throw that out. Hugging her tightly, setting my chin on her head, I sighed. "Chloe, whatever makes you happy, makes me happy."

She pulled back and squealed a lot like she had when I'd been Santa for her. On tip toe, she gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "You're a great friend, Clark."

Yeah, and because I'd been an idiot, it was probably all I was ever gonna be.


	13. Chapter 13

13

"Dude you reek," Conner said as I came into his suite. This time it was crab cakes. I hated my mom some days. I was never getting a suite of my own at this rate, especially since she and J'onn had gone to get dad's watch and it was ruined by dirt and weathering.

I sighed. "I showered three times, ugh. I had to fix the heater when it broke and there was anti-freeze all over and I smell like a freaking cadaver lab. Also? That stuff looks like Slimer."

"Huh?"

"Green and gooey. It's gross."

"I'll shower a couple more times before tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"I'm going to see Booster Gold with Chloe and Oliver."

"That guy's such a tool."

"Ollie's a great guy!" I defended.

"No, dumbass, I mean Booster Gold. What a freaking wannabe."

"True, but his heart's mainly in the right place," I said, grabbing my plate and sitting on the sofa. It would have been shitty of me to stink up his bed.

"So, Mr. Clean, what's the what? You and Chloe and Oliver the three musketeers now?"

"I'm the third-wheel-a-teer," I corrected.

"So I was right and you're admitting. We are totally attracted to Chloe," Conner grinned at me and he was too gleeful about his pronoun usage.

"So weird," I muttered. "It could be a Lex thing, you know. He had a thing for smart chicks."

"Yeah, but Chloe's still awesome. Anyway, win are you going to get her back?"

"I never had her for one. For another, J'onn said if I loved her to let her be happy with Oliver. Third, I just promised to give her away at, for lack of a better term, her vows renewal with Ollie."

"You're an idiot."

I sighed and started eating my cake, enjoying the chunks of flaky meat. God it was awesome. Some days I did have a good mini-me. "I know that! Don't you think I don't? But J'onn's right. I had my shot-more than once-I blew it. Hell, I got all up on her cousin and got to the altar with her. I'd still be with Lois if the gold K hadn't forced me to realize she was more in love with The Blur than with 'Clark Kent.' And Chloe knows all of this. There's no way she'd believe me if I went all Say Anything on her."

"She might."

"She has Oliver Queen, superhero billionaire, and she has a guy who didn't stomp on her heart more times than even you could count. I broke her over Lana and then over Lois, and I can't change that. He picked up my mess when I was fighting with her two years ago. I...maybe I'm not a very good person. I think that a lot these days."

"I think you are. You helped me with my powers and everything."

"Yeah, but I could have done more for everyone-saved Tess instead of been wedding obsessed, paid more attention to you, not hurt Chloe so damn much. I could have been better. I think maybe whoever is in charge of life might have been right to take my powers. I mean, fuck, I burned down twin towers with them."

"But you got better."

"But I'm dangerous and we all know it, deep down. I abused what I had and it's gone forever."

I realized I was talking more about Chlo than my abilities, but the sentiment applied to both.

"Maybe, but Chloe...I can read you like a book. I know you. It's eating you up, man," he said, pressing the controller attached to the tv and starting a video game I couldn't recognize. "You should tell her anyway. Sweep her away."

"She's not shallow. It wouldn't matter if I had no job at all and lived in a box, but I hurt her so much. I just, I want her to be happy, and I couldn't make her that, you know?"

Conner sighed. "You can take turns with me. It's one of the Grand Theft Autos . I know it's not gonna solve your problems, but it'll make you feel better."

"Ooh, can we get chocolate cheesecake like last time?"

"Sure!"

Scratch that, I really freaking loved mini-me.

Diana had Watchtower duty that morning. When I woke up, I didn't even think about it, just slipped on my sweatpants and walked down the stairs. I was halfway through making coffee and tossing out the Lucky-contaminated fruit (mainly apples), when she came into the kitchenette and stared at me.

I gulped. She scares me a lot. Not like my mom and disappointing her, but like she could kill me with her pinky way. Okay, so like J'onn that might be hypocritical of me, since I'd once been that strong if not stronger. However, in my defense, I'd never put a construction worker in traction for pinching my ass. Diana had a track record of that. She was getting somewhat better, but it was hard to explain to a goddess raised only by warrior women that beating up chauvinist pigs was not actually a public service.

It wasn't clicking.

I'm not really a bad guy, but I sometimes put my foot in my mouth and I didn't want to mess up in front of her and end up without arms. Focusing on the linoleum and not at her boobs basically trying to bust out of her star-spangled swimsuit, I mumbled a good morning.

"Kal," she said gently. (I have some friends who are never gonna get that I prefer Clark.) "Kal, you don't have to be scared of me. I know you're not a bad guy."

Depended on when one knew me.

"I, yeah, but I don't want you to think...well I'm a guy and eyes wander and please don't beat me up."

"I promise I won't," she said, picking up my chin and forcing me to look her in the eyes. "You're not the type. Of course, if you touch my rear, I will reconsider my thoughts on that."

"No ma'am, I like my arms."

"Good, we understand each other."

I sighed. Diana was like Chloe or Tess. In other worlds or time frames, I might have liked her or gotten with her. I know in LuthorLand, as gross as quasi-incest was, Tess and my doppleganger had been close. I knew I'd realized too late that I'd give my right arm among other things to be the one marrying Chloe for real. Diana, if I'd never met Chloe and had met the Amazon instead, someone with powers like my own, yeah, I could have liked her in that way too.

Right now, though, she made me nervous.

I wasn't quite sure what that Bruce guy saw in her. Maybe he wasn't afraid to end up in traction.

"Uh, thanks for not killing me this morning. Would you like coffee?"

She laughed, it was a rich, throaty one. "Not today, Kal, but please put on a shirt. We have a dress code."

I rolled my eyes and stepped around Lucky. Between her and Dinah, I really had to wonder what kind.

"Clark, what's up," Booster asked, giving me a hand shake. He was in uniform and that weird little hovering robot thing was with him. Booster was actually a decent guy, if a little insecure, but his heart was in the right place when it needed to be. Still, he reminded me a lot of a game show host. He just came off as fake.

Chloe and Oliver offered him a tight smile, mainly judging him for the stunt he'd pulled and how he may have already altered the timeline by stealing from the Legion. Of course, I'd done that too once and so had the Persuader by destroying J'onn's crystal. Hell, even Rokk's ring he gave me had because it had sent Lois to the apocalyptic future where Zod ruled.

Time travel was truly best left alone. Doc Brown was right on that one.

Still, as I looked at the ring on his hand, I sighed. If I asked, I knew Booster would let me borrow it. He owed me one or a dozen. I could be the real me again. Chloe noticed me staring at his hand and, before we could really get down to business, she excused both of us and took me into the modest bathroom in Booster's apartment.

"Um, okay?" I said, backing up against the sink and giving her room. "What's that all about?"

She sighed and bit her lip, usually her expression for when she had something to say but knew I'd be upset if she said it. "You want the ring don't you?"

"I hadn't really thought about it."

"Bullshit."

"Okay, yeah, I'd do anything to reset my clock. You know I would, but I keep thinking about what happened to dad. I just...I can't fuck with time because it hurts people I love."

She shrugged. "You could ask him. I wouldn't judge you. You take it, fix your life, and get a happily ever after like I saw from 2013. I still saw that. That has to mean something, that maybe in that situation, when you're like you usually are, Lois is made for you."

"I-"

"I want you to be happy," she replied, squeezing my hands. "Clark, if you ask, I'll back you up."

"I'll think about it," I said honestly. "It would be my last shot to get my abilities back, you know? It's hard to think about passing this up, making the last three weeks a bad nightmare I can wake up from."

"Exactly," she said. "It'd be...you'd be happier."

I frowned. "But we've been more honest with each other than we've been in years, maybe since I don't even know when, maybe when you realized you were infected. I don't know if I want to be the only one to know about how sad you were when I left. I...we've forgiven each other a lot and gotten on more even footing."

"Meh, you can trade us being in a weird place for Lois and the best powers in the League. We can always bridge gaps another time. Other!Me would get that, when you got around to telling her about your Magical Mystery Tour."

"I'll think about it," I said. "Now Mrs. Queen, let's get out to talking to Booster. I don't want to make people talk."

She laughed. "Yeah, right, even Ollie knows you're like my brother."

I deflated at that. Maybe if I got a hold of the Legion ring, I could go back and stop Jimmy's death like she'd wanted, make her happy, alleviate her guilt. They'd never really make it as a couple the way she and Oliver had. I could have everything I really wanted, powers included.

Yeah I could do that.

I just needed to ask Booster.

"So you think the Legion intentionally screwed up the timeline. Why would they do that? They're heroes like you guys?" Booster asked, genuinely puzzled, although still doing his Pat Sajak impression.

"I don't know," I replied, looking down at my hands. "I just know that they manipulated things, including having Brainiac mindrape a teacher of mine to ensure I saw what they needed me to see. That's not heroic behavior. He rebooted her personality and she'll never actually be herself again. That's wrong."

I'd done that once to Chloe, but she didn't know that. I didn't know if I'd ever break that to her, now that we were in a better place. I didn't want to spoil that.

But what I'd done had been so close to Brainiac's own reprogramming of her that it made me sick inside.

"But they're the Legion of Superheroes . I'm so confused. Do you want me to just hop to that time and talk to them? If they had big, evil plans, then I doubt they'll tell me."

Ollie sighed. "I don't think they were being evil, per say, just misguided. They were trying to guide Clark and they probably should have left well enough alone."

"Yeah, especially if it got me here, you know?" I said, glancing at Chloe who looked like she might cry.

She really didn't want me to ask Booster or to marry Lois, only an idiot would have bought her lies. I wonder if she bought mine about her and Oliver.

"Sure, I'll just pop right over and ask what's the what. That Garth kid is easy to manipulate enough. With that, Booster closed his eyes and blinked out, obviously thinking of the year the Legion had told me to think of as well. He was back almost as soon as he'd disappeared, but that meant nothing. He could have been there for weeks for all we knew.

When he returned, his mouth was wide. "They're gone. There's no Legion at all to asked. It never existed. Hell, humans still have fuck all interest in aliens. I mean, yeah there's the Lanterns and the Manhunter, but they don't trust them. It's not like a lot of immigrants have come to Earth or any that have gone public."

"No, that's not...that's not how it happened. Rokk and Imra told me that-"

"You never went public," Chloe mused. "You lost your powers and The Blur never came out as your local, human-looking, friendly neighborhood alien. Without you, aliens weren't accepted and the Legionnaires never came here."

"So then there's no one to even ask if they don't exist anymore or, at least, not on Earth," I finished.

Oliver stroked a hand through his messy hair. "Okay, so then the Legion screwed itself over because they messed time up so badly with their stunt that they never even came here."

"I...yeah. Weird the ring didn't disappear though."

Booster shrugged. "Time travel will make your head ache, kiddo. Anyway, if that's all-"

"No," Chloe said, her chin thrust out. "Skeets is an archive right? Can it hold in information that's from alternate timelines and histories?"

"I can," Skeets replied. "What do you want to know?"

"I'm not even going to unsnarl all the way back to when Brainiac was in me, but I am going to ask about what was supposed to happen this year. Clark and I both saw it. He was supposed to be the world's hero in the suit his mom made him and marry Lois and work at the DP and none of that's happened."

Skeets hovered in front of us. "My database says that the day Booster came, 'Lois Lane' was going to make herself famous covering The Blur getting the key to the city."

"Right, but I didn't do that."

"Exactly," Skeets replied. "The first ripple started when Brainiac's host lived, then when the ring fell into a human's hands."

"Lois," Oliver finished.

"Correct," Skeets said. "Rokk gave it to you, Kal-El, to trust you with remedying what you'd let go wrong with Doomsday."

"I wouldn't have done that, not ever."

"Rokk came to see you?" Chloe asked. "You never mentioned that, even this year. I knew you got the ring from somewhere, but I just...what did he want."

"It didn't happen, Chlo."

Oliver looked between us. "Why do I feel a stress vibe here?"

I sighed and looked away. "He said I should just go back to when Brainiac infected you and killed you. That Doomsday got so bad because I didn't take care of everything when I had a chance, that I'd die because of it. I said I'd never kill you to save myself."

"I-"

"There's more. They all agreed that when they met me, they'd heard of Lois and Jimmy, even Lana, but they'd never heard about you. That 'Chloe Sullivan' didn't exist so she had to have died, that killing you was preordained or some bullshit."

"But you stopped them."

"Always, but they didn't like you very much because there was no record of you."

"Well, it makes sense if you think outside the box. I did 'die,' and most of the records and information on 'Chloe Sullivan,' I wiped out very thoroughly with Tess's help. In a thousand years, of course no one would have heard of me."

"They figured it was because you died and I forgot you."

"You'd never do that either," she said. "Even when we fight, you'd never forget me."

"No, I wouldn't," I said, thinking fondly of our kiss in the Planet's basement. That might have been the greatest and most monumental moment of my life. If I'd just not let her push me away...

I shook my head. That didn't matter now.

"But they still wanted Chloe dead to fit the timeline they knew, so Clark could be a hero and get with Lois."

"Superman," Booster supplied. "You were going to be called Superman."

"That's a lot egotistical," I said, blushing.

"Meh, I'd have called you that. I did call Eric 'Superboy.'"

"Yeah, if you named me, sure. Still sounds like I'm full of myself."

"No, Lois Lane named you," Skeets finished. "The day of Darkseid's demise, you stopped him but were unable to marry Lois at that time. But you did reveal yourself by saving the president."

"Of?"

"The United States, Clark," Chloe said as if I were slow. "He was in Metropolis that day."

"Yes," Skeets said. "In the timeline following from what Booster messed up, you came out that day to the public with what you could do. A week later, Lois published an interview with 'Superman' that eventually won her a Pulitzer."

"Wow, go Lois," Chloe said, but she was shaking a little, again looking like she was going to burst into tears. A Pulitzer as the DP's top reporter had always been her dream.

"I...none of that happened. I'm human with not a very thrilling night job and bad vision," I said, gesturing to my glasses. "There's no Superman at all."

Booster shrugged. "Bitch of time travel man, nothing ever goes how it's supposed to."

"Thanks," Oliver drawled. "You really fucked things up, Booster."

Skeets swiveled to him. "You lost the Bow of Orion. You allowed Granny Goodness to best you on your quest and lied to Kara Zor-El's face. I don't think Booster did that."

Chloe stared at Oliver as if she'd never seen him before, and I was gaping too. He'd abused Kara's trust, not that any of us knew where the Hell she was or when, but he'd lied to her and cost us something. "What's a Bow of Orion, Ollie?"

"I...it was a way to stop Darkseid, a weapon for good that banished him last time. I thought it'd cure me of my infection. Kara and I were looking for it in the same place, and I...well, I touched it and because I was infected it disintegrated. Clark was supposed to have used it to kill Darkseid. But he didn't have it."

"Were you ever going to tell me this?" I asked. "What if J'onn hadn't been strong enough or Bruce hadn't take the prophets down, what if Chloe had never met Diana? We'd all be dead."

"But we're not."

Chloe shook her head and now she was crying. "You lied to all of us and it got Clark hurt. I...why would you lie to me? I thought it took four weeks instead of three for you to get home because you stayed to help recon with Tess. I just...we have to talk about this later."

"Chloe-"

"Not now. Skeets, do you know anything about how the real day would have played out?" she said, not even looking at him.

Some petty part of me hoped it'd break them up, but I doubted it. They'd weathered a lot of separation and darkness in each other. Besides, I'd still made my own choice not to listen to her and to put on the damn ring. I had as much fault in it as anyone.

The robot hovered. "One last fact is in my database. This coincided with Lex Luthor's return and with the death of two women, both found with bodies burned in an alley in Suicide Slums. Lois Lane followed up on the case and spent years before she tied Luthor to the murder, resulting in him being impeached early in his term as president."

"Lex as president?" Oliver asked, laughing.

Chloe had seen it too, apparently. She was staring at him as seriously as I was. "He's going to run and he's going to win. The question is just when."

"No way."

"Definitely," I finished. "I that's still horrible. Why two? It was just Tess."

"The day that wasn't," Skeetz finished. "It was two women: Tess Mercer aka Lutessa Luthor and what records said was an Anne Hatcher."

"No, that's wrong," I said. "Only Tess died."

"Well that's not how the day was going to go," Booster said again.

Chloe was pale and, despite the argument she and Ollie would probably be having later, he was holding her, squeezing her tight. "I was going to die anyway?"

"No, no you didn't. I...you didn't. It's better this way then."

"Better how?" Booster asked, confused. "I was gonna give you the ring to fix it. You don't go back and fix the day, then no Legion, no Superman, game over."

"I won't do that to Chloe."

Oliver looked between everyone and surprised Skeetz with a question I hadn't thought to ask. "Describe the coroner's report. Chloe's been 'dead' before. They might have had the wrong woman."

"Coroner's report on one Anne Hatcher: female, approximately twenty-five, five foot nine, with bridge work and one partially melted set of pins her in left arm."

Chloe sat up and swore. "What the fuck?"

"Well it's not you. You don't have pins, I know from when I looked for Lex's tracking chip," I said.

"And you're certainly not 5'9," Oliver concluded. "See mistake."

"It's Lois," Chloe said, and now she was crying. "She was supposed to die that day. I...I don't even know why I screwed with the identification or the records for 'Anne' but that's Lois. She had bridge work done when she was seventeen and she broke her arm in five places falling off a tank she'd crawled on top of at the base when she was nine."

"I-"

"Skeetz," Oliver said, his mind reeling the least of any of ours. "What was 'Lois Lane' like."

"Records are sketchy, no pictures survived."

"I went by name plate identification only," Booster admitted. "It's likely Kal-El made sure most records on her were sketchy so people like the Persuader couldn't recognize her on sight to kill her and alter the timeline."

"Moreso," Oliver said dryly.

I still wasn't thinking straight. If things had gone right, Lois would have died. I'd still have powers, but she'd be dead. Chloe was crying at the shock of it. I'd loved Lois once, maybe for the wrong reasons, and she was Chloe's whole family basically. If I went back to get my abilities, to be Superman or whatever, Lois would die and that wasn't fair to her or to Chloe, any of us really. I could never do it.

"But, I asked, Skeetz, what was 'Lois Lane' like from what you knew?"

"Brunette, reporter at the Daily Planet, named Lois Lane."

"That's all you knew?"

"Yes."

"I'm a brunette," Chloe said, still clinging to Ollie. "If I didn't dye my hair. It's been dark since I was fifteen."

I blinked. Why was everything like mush in my brain? "Huh?"

"Lois and Tess were killed by Lex that day, and I had to be the one to cover everything with you the week after, after the funerals and everything else were done. I don't know why I did it, but I took her place so that 'Chloe Sullivan' and 'Anne' both stayed buried and Lois became as famous as Superman."

"And I kept no one from knowing anything substantive about you or anything about who Chloe had been."

"That's pretty tinhat, Clark," Oliver said.

"No, it's not, actually. Chloe's saved my life dozens of times since I've known her. If someone knew who she was, you could go back in time and kill her as a kid or her mom even. I'd have been toast. Lex would have known everything about me when I lost my memory in high school, definitely game over even that way."

"I just...we took an opportunity when it presented itself and then my cousin still got the credit for taking Lex down, everyone remembered her name, like she'd have wanted," Chloe finished. "I could see myself doing that actually."

I nodded. I could definitely see her motivated to do something for Lois's memory, all the League actually.

"I just..." I fumbled.

There was nothing to say. Chloe was supposed to have gone back to the Planet, revealed me and stopped Lex. I was supposed to be a superhero, and Lois was supposed to already be dead. Brainiac Five had been pointing me to the wrong "Lois Lane" because history was too murky to know, and I'd lost my powers through a lot of mistakes and time travel fuckery.

Chloe nodded, tears rolling down her face. "That's how I feel, Clark. That's how I feel."


	14. Chapter 14

14

We left Booster's and Oliver's limo dropped me off late at Watchtower. I called in sick. I didn't care if I'd only been working for three weeks. I just needed time to process everything. Oddly, my boss was really nice about it, told me to take Tuesday too. I filed that away as either me being super lucky or something else being up. In my life, it was always the latter.

It was late enough that even Diana had gone home and no one else had a shift. Sighing, I grabbed a beer from the fridge (yes we did keep those around), and opened it. I fucked up first, thinking that I could do it with my bare hand. It didn't work out that way. I cursed when I cut my fingers and threw the bottle down instead, shattering it and making Lucky shriek from the rafters somewhere.

"Fuck it," I said to him. "You know what Lucky? Fuck all of it. I'm so done with all of this stuff. I've been done with it since Jor-El told me I had a fucking destiny. I'm so sick of it."

There was still mad chittering. I took that as encouragement to continue.

Putting my head in my hands, I took deep breaths. I didn't cry, not often. I had when I'd seen Lana die and she'd left me both from her bed and both in the loft. I'd not even let myself cry over dad until a week later. I didn't really have it in me.

I could feel depleted and that I did do.

"Lucky, I'm just...how can I be human and still have things I'm supposed to be doing with my life?"

Apparently, taking my tone as encouragement and a sign danger was gone, Lucky climbed down the railing and crawled up to my shoulder, starting his customary grooming. Perfect, Chloe was (re)marrying a billionaire and my pet lemur might have a crush on me.

"I...I can't win. If I set the clock back to get my abilities and be Superman, Lois dies and it's not fair to her or to Chloe, to any of us. We lost Tess already and the whole League loved Lois. She might not love me the right way but she doesn't deserve to die even if she was 'supposed to.'"

Lucky started to lick my head a bit, shifting from just using his teeth. (Yeah teeth, it's a thing.)

Absent mindedly, I reached up and scratched his back. "And worse, whatever timeline I was going to have, Chloe was going to be the one . The Legion and Booster and even me, we all fucked it up. If the world had just been allowed to unfurl without Brainiac or Booster Gold, then we'd be together, but she loves Ollie and 'Lois Lane,' that one, and 'Superman' are never going to exist."

Lucky stopped licking long enough to chitter some more.

I patted his flank. "Yeah, That's how I feel. What the Hell am I supposed to do?"

Lucky didn't have an answer for that; that made two of us.

Chloe asked me to meet her at the left over remains of De Saad's club downtown. She didn't ask me to see her til late Monday, knowing I'd be sleeping in in preparation for my shifts changing. I had no idea what she wanted and wasn't in the mood to go where she'd been almost murdered before. If I hadn't gotten there in time, she'd have had her heart cut out.

Still, her voice mail had said it was urgent so, at six, I was making my way up the stairs, into the tower of the old church the club had been built beside, the large stained glassed windows glimmering behind me. She was already there, in a green tank top, jeans, and that jacket I hated.

I'd left my 'Old Red' at home.

"Chloe, why are we here? Why aren't we at The Java Hut if you wanted neutral territory?"

"Clark, we have to talk," her eyes were red and I realized she'd been crying.

"Chlo?" I asked, reaching out to her and she stepped back, leaning up against the cracked baptismal fountain.

"No, I can't...I can't get through this if you touch me, okay?"

"I don't understand."

"Oliver and I made up. He explained his side and I understood. I hid a lot of things when I was infected by Brainiac and it caused no end to problems. Hell, we're still having fall out from that. He can't get off until next Friday, but we're going to the island he showed went to. We're going to see if there's any trace of the Bow left at all, just in case Darkseid rises again."

"The prophets are dead. Hell, he's dead. J'onn destroyed him."

"Just in case, parts of the Bow, even if it's just dust, might be able to help us if someone ever comes back. After Zod, Lionel, Lex, and Brainiac, we can't be assuming it'll never happen again."

"I know. I can't go with you."

"Please do. I...I talked to Bruce today. Wayne Industries has an R and D division here that Lucius is starting up. He's giving you a job there. Diana's in accounting, herself. You can take cabs together."

"I...what?"

"Work until Thursday, if you want to, but letting you learn your lesson...you know not to lie to your mom anymore. You know that it's hard to be mortal. We need you in a position where you can take off and help us. Bruce can do that."

"Would he have three weeks ago?"

"No, Martha said not to, but it's important now you can do for us all you can still. You helped start the League with Ollie and the original five of you."

"You too."

"You have a place here and I swear will still find it. Bruce is coming here too after we get back from the island. He half wants to see Diana again, but he's also a good trainer. He wants to help. He's...Oliver's always used his archery talent most. He is hand to hand sometimes, and he taught me well, but his style is different from Bruce's. The Batman's built thicker like you are. I think Bruce would help you a lot."

"I dunno if he'll like me very much."

"Does he make you nervous too? He's all gruff and no bite."

"Only you would say that," I said, running my hand over a panel of Cain slaying Abel. I shivered. "Chloe, what are we doing here?"

"I was tempted here."

"I know, that's how De Saad works."

She shook her head and looked off over my shoulder, remembering her torture. "He made you come to me. I mean a vision of you. You leaned in after you rescued me to kiss you, said no one would ever have to know. That we'd missed our chance and God I wanted to. I knew it wasn't right but I wanted you. I can never not want you."

"I-"

"I told Oliver this after all the mayhem at the bed and breakfast. I love you so much, Clark, that it hurts, and it always has. First Lana and then my own cousin and I do want you to be happy, just you had to stomp on me so much to get it. I shattered and put myself back a hundred different times and it was my fault because I knew you couldn't love me like I loved you but I couldn't turn off these feels. I can't, but I'm all scar tissue from you. I can't be scarred anymore."

"Chlo. I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't. For most of it, we were teenagers, young and stupid. But some of it wasn't that. When you left me, when I wanted to kill myself, it wasn't that."

"I-"

"I thought you'd never come back for me, not like at Black Creek or when I was buried alive or after the Phantom Zone. I just couldn't for the longest time...but I had to find Lois and keep the League alive."

"I know and you did most of that. You know I think you built something great, made it even better by finding Wonder Woman and Batman," I inched toward her but she shook her head.

"Clark, I'm always going to love you more than anyone else. I can't stop. I want to so badly, but I can't . But whatever Skeetz said? That timeline doesn't matter. I'm not going to be 'Lois Lane' and you're not 'Superman.' The Legion brought its own destruction on itself by fooling with time, forcing it to conform to what they thought was history."

"I...I know. I can't go back if someone has to die in my place. I can't."

She nodded. "We learned that long ago. Even if in some timeline I was going to be your great love, it's not now. I do love Oliver. He's a good man and he's fought back a lot of darkness to be that man."

"Chloe, I love you."

She shook her head and her voice wavered, but she didn't cry. "No, you don't. You never did and something that never happened doesn't change that. I gave up waiting for you tosee me. Oliver's safe and he loves me. You'll break my heart and I can't fix it anymore. I almost lost myself inside Watchtower last time. I won't again."

"So what is this?" I asked, waving my arms around. "Why do I even have to be here?"

"Because I wanted to talk in a way I can't at a coffee shop, and you needed to know what I really saw. When all this is over and Bruce has you trained and Ollie too, then I'm going to Star City and I'm not coming back, do you get that? I'll write you and if the League needs us all, I'll be there. If something bad happens to you, I'd come, but I can't see you in person alone, and, even with Ollie, it hurts like crazy."

"But you still want me. We could have been-"

"We're not, Clark. I...just come with us to the island. We'll figure this out. I can't leave even part of a weapon against Darkseid, even if it's just dust, I won't leave that behind."

"Alright, but I still get to give you away, right?"

She laughed and wiped at her eyes. "Of course."

As I followed her back down the staircase, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Twisting my head, I saw nothing, but it didn't stop the feeling that I was being watched all the way down the stairs.

Diana eyed the pile of gifts I'd shoved in a corner of Watcthtower. It was a collection of the basic type of wedding gifts-platters, salad bowls, silver pieces, even a stew pot-all of them had to be packaged and shipped to be returned with a letter sent off with them. I'd made a template letter and Diana was copying it over for her half of the seventy gifts to write letters for.

Apparently Themyscira taught both how to break a man's spine with your thighs and excellent calligraphy.

Who knew?

Adjusting my glasses on my nose, I leaned over and copied down the same note I'd written ten times before. I'd have just printed from the computer, but mom said it was best to go with the hand done approach. "This takes forever."

"You miss your speed."

Diana Prince, mistress of the obvious statement. "You're already done writing the letters and the script looks amazing. I might be a little jealous."

She nodded and read the letter:

"Dear _

Thank you so much for coming to our wedding. You gift of _ was very much appreciated. However, due to the events of the wedding, including a massive gas leak causing all of us to hallucinate, as well as later deciding to break up when the ceremony was disrupted, Lois and I feel we have to return your gift.

Thank you again and sorry for the way things escalated, but it's a good lesson in having an excellent carbon monoxide detector.

Clark Kent and Lois Lane."

I shrugged. "I think it's pretty good. If they'd eaten before, I'd have blamed food poisoning."

"Your people believe what they want to believe. I moved a planet and most of the news stations held it up as some kind of prank-not all-but at least Fox News."

"Oh they never get it right," I said, starting on letter number twelve. "Besides, people in Metropolis and Smallville are gifted at being in denial."

"Survival skill?"

"Definitely," I said. "Hey, wait, my people?"

She nodded and started putting a blender into a packing box and writing the correct address with a Sharpie. "You're mostly human, aren't you, Kal?"

"With everything fun that comes with it," I said, gesturing to my hand, still wrapped up on the index finger. I didn't quite need stitches but it was going to hurt for a while. I shook my head. "This was supposed to make my life less complicated or make me feel more connected to other people or something."

"Has it?"

"Not really. I think I'm more confused than ever."

"Over Chloe?"

"Is everyone a mind reader?" I asked, cursing when I spilled some ink and had to start over.

"You're obvious. Besides, it is probably how I look at Bruce."

"I thought you were...I dunno...not very into men. I mean, not like gay, I just mean, like we're beneath you or something."

"Some are," she admitted. "Some are crass and awful, but you and Bruce are not two of them. He's chivalrous when he wants to be. Smart and a gifted fighter."

"And I?"

"You're a good man, Clark. I don't know much about all the customs here. Why you should return what was given to you, I'll never understand."

"I can't keep it if we didn't get married!"

"Still, I know you can't disrupt one of my sister's chances at happiness, but I do feel sorry for you."

"Thanks, Diana, I think."

"If things had been different, Kal, I'd have been very honored to fight with you."

"Because you heard about what I was?"

"No," she said, starting in on repackaging some silver. "Because I see what you are."

I tendered my resignation on Tuesday morning. I wasn't even sure why I hadn't been fired for skipping out Sunday night, but with me moving on up to Wayne Industries' holdings in Metropolis, it didn't really matter anymore. I wasn't exactly sad to see the place go. I'd worked a few weeks in the lamest of jobs, but I'd survived, and it was like farming, you know? People had looked down on my dad a lot for being 'just a farmer.' I...it was honest work, not fun, but honest and the people who did it at The Journal were nice enough.

I just was glad it wasn't going to always be my career.

What Chloe thought I could do at R and D when I was no longer a genius, I didn't know. The math stuff was gone and I didn't even realize I'd miss that.

Thursday was my last day. I was going to have a brief training session again with Oliver after that and we'd be leaving for the British Isles tomorrow morning. It would be today that I ended up with mopping duty during the lunch hour. As jobs went, it wasn't even unpleasant. Today was cabbage day. I definitely didn't want to be on toilets then.

Anyway, I was bent down, scrubbing the floor, i-pod in my ears. I noticed Chloe in line getting a salad and wished I could go up to her. It wasn't allowed for one thing, but it would make her rabbit and feel uncomfortable for another. I didn't want to do that to her. Maybe things would be easier for everyone when she was back in Star City. It was already mid-June. She'd be back soon enough.

"Clark?"

I felt someone touching my shoulder and my hearing registered my voice barely. I blinked back at the line. Chloe wasn't there.

Had she come to see me?

Taking out the buds in my ears, I looked up and behind me and realized apparently life could get worse. "Uh, oh hey Lois."

She was dressed to perfection in a business suit and blue blouse. Maybe everything was a little too tight, but she looked very pretty, as well as polished and professional. I had a stain on me from wood polish and a small hole in the hip of my coveralls.

I couldn't feel more like a loser if I tried.

"What are you doing?"

"Pantomime," I said dryly. "I work here, if you hadn't heard."

"No, Chloe didn't tell me. She and I were grabbing lunch when I had a break. I wanted to give her a welcoming gift for her office."

"Oh," I said, leaning on my mop. "I can't talk to non-janitorial staff on the clock."

"I just...wow, Smallville, I didn't realize you'd hit the skids so hard."

Sighing, I started to mop again. "I don't need your pity. My real friends have been more than helpful. Oliver lent me the bedroom in Watchtower and Chloe helped get me the job after Lex blacklisted me. Hell, they're even training me."

"For what?"

"To be in the League again, of course."

She frowned. "But you can't."

I stared back at her. "Because I don't have godlike powers anymore?"

"I didn't say that."

"It's what you're thinking. I don't have my abilities, so I can't be part of the team or your life."

"I didn't...okay, I did think that. Clark, what would you do for them. I mean, Hell, are those real glasses?"

"They're prescription," I huffed. "You made it clear you didn't think all that much of me as a mortal. I'm doing fine and this is a decent job. It's better than making shit up for a year atThe Inquisitor ."

She blushed. "I-"

"I don't even want to hear it, Lois. You had your chance with me like this. You blew it. I don't need your concern and I don't want it." Sighing, I picked up my mop and pushed my bucket out toward the hall. "Goodbye, Lois. If you don't want me this way, then I don't want you."

I made it as far as the bench outside the cafeteria and sat down, shaking a little. I didn't love her, probably had been more obsessed with the Legion's illusion than anything else, except with replacing Chloe. It still didn't mean I wanted her to look down at what I'd become or fake giving two shits when she'd rejected me.

"Clark?"

I was about to snap when I realized it was Chloe, giving me smile number three of all things.

"Hey, I thought we were keeping it mainly to emails and League business?"

She sat down next to me and gave my shoulders an all to brief squeeze. "Maybe she misses you. You could always-"

"I love you, Chlo. I don't want Lois."

"You probably love me cause Skeetz said something that's not true anymore."

"Or maybe I just love you, am better with you."

She sighed and hugged me one more time. "If you went back to her, if she learned to love the human version, I'd be okay, you know?"

I brought her to my chest and kissed the top of her head. "No, it wouldn't."


	15. Chapter 15

15

I was packing up my stuff in my locker, when my boss came up to me. Perfect, I probably was getting some speech about not being a team player or some side eye about having life issues. It wasn't drugs. God I wish it were. Again, anything that involved claiming it was fall out from being a (powerless) alien, really wasn't going to cut it.

"Clark, can we talk for a second?"

"Uh, sure, Mr. Marshall." I said, following into his office and sitting on the cracked faux leather chair. He sat down at a desk that was half dented and piled high with requisition forms. The pipes down here in the basement dripped a steady rhythm as we talked.

"Clark, I know ."

I blinked. Sentences that started out like that were never good and I'd heard a lot more of them than I should have this year with the VRA stuff. "Huh?"

He gestured to his temple. "I was in Smallville during the shower in 2005."

"You're infected."

He nodded. "I don't get a lot off of people, impressions really if they stand close enough. It's not like I have it all, but I saw enough of you to know you're The Blur or you were. I assume you're one of us but your abilities aren't there anymore are they?"

"No sir. I lost them. I...I can't explain how but I did."

"Meteor rock poisoning is unpredictable," he admitted. "I know it must be hard for you. I don't even like my power all that much, but it's also something I've had for six years, gotten used to. I think the world would be a lot harder to navigate now without it."

"Yeah, it's been a kick in the a...teeth, sir."

He laughed and took a sip of day old coffee. "My son's not very old."

"Second gen," I said. Like Maddie or Evan. It always got stronger if you'd been born that way.

"Yes, he hears everything all the time from all over Metropolis. It took a very long time to teach him how to stop; he couldn't even start first grade this year."

"I'm sorry. I had troubles at school too because I was always very strong, well, until I lost it."

He nodded. "You're his hero. When you came back after all the VRA stuff, he told me he wanted to be just like you. It made him feel better about being different."

"Thank you, sir."

"No, thank you. I don't know why you are like you are now, but you meant a lot to a lot of people, especially people like us and to kids with powers who want to grow up to be heroes like you."

"Well I did."

"You do. I figure, if you came back after being gone a few weeks this fall, and then after the VRA, you'd find a way again, powers or not. You seem that sort, Clark."

"Maybe."

"Definitely. Joshua and I will be looking for you, sport."

"Uh, so, did you know when I got taco day duty?"

"Yeah, but that was kind of funny."

As Yoda-like advice went, that sucked.

We were in Watchtower. Chloe's pushed the monitors and other computers that could be rolled away off to corners and Ollie had lain down several mats. Conner was sitting on the spiral stairs petting Lucky every so often. (No surprise, since Conner probably smelled and reminded the lemur of me, Lucky was very partial to him. Like I said, the only person interested in me lately was freaking Lucky the Lemur.) Chloe was relaxing on the couch now moved to under the large stained-glass window, occasionally cheering and clapping for Oliver.

Lucky chittered for me so I guess I had a cheerleader too.

Maybe we could get him an outfit, mini pom poms too.

Oliver even sparred shirtless. I was in my trusty sweats and an old Crows t-shirt and Oliver was in like yoga pants (they made those for guys?) and nothing else. Idly, I rolled my eyes. Show off. It also irked how Chloe eyed him a lot, licking her lips more than once. I could be that hot too. Okay, so I did pretty much look like a tool with my stupid glasses on that cord on my neck. I had called my doctor about contacts, but he still insisted my eyes had to adjust to my prescription before I upgraded to them.

Of course, it didn't help my cool points that I was also having my ass handed to me.

At this rate, it'd turn out that the lemur would have better martial arts skills than I did.

"Come on Clark! Don't make my DNA look bad!" Conner hollered, with his hands cupped over his face.

Chloe mirrored him. "Woot! Come on Ollie, you can do it!"

"Gee, thanks, Chlo," I said, ducking a swing from Oliver and trying to punch him.

I didn't really have moves, per say. More like try and not get hit and slug when I could. Ollie was trying to help, I guess. Calling out the names of the fancy moves he was doing, mostly I was too nervous I'd get hit to memorize much. I wondered if this was how he'd trained Chloe because it didn't seem very helpful. Though I had the reach on him, he was faster, and moved out of the reach of my blow.

"Come on man! I'm serious, we look like an idiot."

I rolled my eyes and looked to Conner for like a second to tell him to be quiet, when Oliver's strike with his arm connected perfectly with my nose. I crumpled instantly to the floor, and grabbed my nose, blood already pouring into my hands.

"Ow!"

"Clark, I'm sorry!" Oliver said, reaching for me.

"'S okay," I muttered, taking a towel from Chloe to staunch the bleeding. "I think I have to go to the hospital though."

Chloe pulled the cloth away long enough to sigh. "I'll call Emil and he can be here faster than an ER will even sign you in. We'll get this looked at."

"Man, like I said, I thought you saw it coming and ow!" Oliver exclaimed as Lucky jumped him, planting sharp teeth into his shoulder. Oliver started shaking him off until the lemur flew through the air, only not hitting the wall for Conner catching him. "What the Hell?"

I sighed and walked to the medical bay to wait for Emil, my voice still distorted. "He's defending his 'girlfriend.' Don't break my nose next time, Ollie. He can bite other things."

Lucky scurried after me, chittering angrily at Oliver the whole way.

You tell him.

We were on the jet to the British Isles after Emil looked at my nose. It was definitely broken. He'd set it and put one of those splints on it, like the kind you saw on people after a nose job or like I'd seen Fitz get after an especially rough practice had broken his nose. He'd instructed me to be careful for at least a week-no sparring at all-and to see him as soon as we got back from the Isles.

Oliver had not invited Lucky to accompany me, Chloe, Conner and him to the island.

I could understand that. I assumed Lucky bit pretty hard.

"Ugh," I said, leaning over and throwing up into my little white bag, grateful I'd only had toast this morning. "I hate my life."

"You do not," Conner said. "Although today has really sucked and it's only one p.m. Kansas time."

"I hurt and I'm motion sick. I didn't even know I was freaking motion sick. Kara's not! She flies great, wherever she is."

Conner sighed and patted my knee. "Don't worry man. You'll heal up fineish."

"What do you mean fineish?" I said, voice getting a little high pitched.

Chloe frowned and bit her lip. "Um, well, sometimes, okay a lot of the time, broken noses don't ever look the same again. It can change your profile."

"What?"

"Well I can pay to fix that," Ollie said glumly. "I'm sure you'll look mostly the same."

"WHAT?"

"You know like Owen Wilson. You'll still be able to breathe and stuff," Chloe said, giving me smile number four.

Oh for fuck's sake.

"I like how my nose was. Come on!"

"To be fair," Conner said, eating some of those little peanuts. "You weren't going to be on a catwalk any time soon anyway."

"Oh," Chloe said, and she was biting her lip very, very hard. "Emil also gave me a prescription to give to you. He said you have a really bad case of dandruff under all that hair of yours. I mean, could be worse, at least it's not lice."

I took the paper and sighed, before vomiting again. "Superheroes don't get dandruff."

"Apparently," Conner said, finishing his little foil bag. "Average Joes do."

"Ugh. Wake me when we land," I said, curling up and trying to get some sleep, my stomach roiling all the way to Scotland.


	16. Chapter 16

16

"I'm dying," I said, laying face down in my bed at the inn.

I'd still thrown up at least twice since getting back to the hotel. The second time, my glasses had fallen in the toilet and I'd had to fish them out and clean them. They were airing out on the sink. I was giving myself time before getting back to wearing them. I made a mental note to take the savings I had and allocate another three hundred or so for a spare pair. I think that would be a good investment.

Conner patted my back. "No man. You're gonna live. Don't worry. Uh, maybe powers aside, you weren't really made to fly?"

"I did have a fear of heights."

"When did that get better?"

"Okay, I do have a fear of heights, happy?"

"Oh, that's okay Clark. Look I'm going to see if they have something without a sheep's stomach and uterus-"

"Intestines," I corrected.

"Yeah, that. I'm sure they do! I mean probably not Ritz crackers, but you just chill out. I'll be back with a soup of some kind."

"Thanks mini-me."

"No problem, Superdork," he said, slipping out the door before I could even think of hitting him with a pillow.

I was half dozing when he came back into the room and set some fresh baked bread down on the bed stand. I was still too tired to open my eyes, not that I'd make out more than blobs of color. Then, Conner surprised me a little by channeling his inner Lucky and stroking my hair.

"Uh, buddy? I know we're sort of the same person and, even if I do have dandruff, at least we have great hair, but this crosses a line."

"Clark?" Chloe asked, taking her hand back. "I thought you were asleep."

I rolled over and squinted at her. "Oh, Chloe, hey. What are you doing here?" Sitting on my bed, touching my hair. You know explain that, Mrs. Queen . Okay, I might be a little bitter.

"I brought you some bread while Conner was waiting for the soup to cook. Everything's homemade here so they didn't just have some Campbell's in a can, you know?"

I nodded and sighed when she hopped over onto Conner's bed. "What was with the head rub? Seeing the dandruff up close?" I joked.

"It's not too bad, but I think if it clears up, Lucky's going to be really disappointed. You might lose your boyfriend."

"I can only hope," I muttered, reaching up to touch my nose before she slapped me.

Wow it was fast and she hurt.

"Hey!" I shouted.

"Emil said not to move or to touch it. Do you want to set it wrong? Look like Liam Neeson forever?"

"I...not really, no."

"Then don't fuck with it."

I sighed and breathed a lot through my mouth. "Thanks for visiting me. Does Ollie know?"

"Of course and Conner's only five minutes behind by now with that soup. I was just worried, Clark. I didn't realize you'd have such a crap day between the nose, the new shampoo to put it nicely, and all the air sickness. If it were Lois or Lucy being this sick, I'd bring them bread too."

"Your greatest temptation wasn't having Lois make out with you!"

She sighed. "You weren't my greatest temptation, Clark. Why would you be?"

"You said that-"

"I said you were there. I saw worse than you and I almost gave in to things."

"What things?"

"I saw me."

"You wanted to make out with yourself?" I asked, confused.

"No, different representations of different sins. You were lust."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh,'" she said, staring at her hands. "I saw myself because my worst sin is pride, Clark. My last year in Smallville, you had Lois and you didn't need me. I left to save all of you, especially you, but I also left because I couldn't watch being replaced in my own life, knowing that everyone had moved past me."

"I hadn't."

"The seven deadly sins aren't rational. It's how I felt . If you still had your powers, you wouldn't really need me anyway. Besides, you have J'onn and Conner and Diana and your mom and soon The Batman. I'm very replaceable. I didn't realize that until two years ago, but, yeah, I can be taken out and you all will survive. You might not be happy about it, but you can do it."

"I missed you every day and Oliver was in agony. We couldn't stop the Suicide Squad and you totally controlled them. The VRA had me in a tank with the inroads to my brain without you. Hell, I didn't listen to you and I lost my powers permanently. I think we do need you."

"I'm not leaving consulting for the League or supporting Oliver, Mia too probably."

"Just me."

"When you're ready, you won't need me. That's the point of training you Clark, so you'd grow past me and into who you can be."

"You're not my mom or Jor-El even, Chlo."

She sighed. "Oliver will always need me. We work well together. I like that. To you, I'm more...sometimes you forget I do more than run a search engine."

"I don't. You stayed. I became a total loser and you stayed. If I wasn't enough for Lois, we know Lana would have headed for Switzerland by now."

"Best friends do that," she replied, handing me the plate. "Eat up, if you can and ignore Conner's jokes about haggis. We're going first thing to the caves in the morning."

With that she was gone and I wanted Booster's fucking ring right then if only to undo everything I'd done when Davis had killed Jimmy. I'd give the ring only for that, if only to prove I could be a good, decent man just once in my life.

I blinked and carefully pushed my glasses up my nose, hissing a little at how swollen it still was, was gonna be. The runes weren't Kryptonian, but I could read them. That freaked me out a little. Apparently, being human hadn't taken what I knew out of me. Jor-El had downloaded the ability to read Darkseid's language into my brain some time during my journey to the arctic and I hadn't even realized it.

"Clark?" Oliver asked, voice even. He was the only one of us in uniform, since all Conner really had was a dark t-shirt with our House symbol on it. It made him look a little silly. "Kara could read that. Can you?"

"Yeah, I...it's close enough to Kryptonian," I lied. "Didn't Kara read this out to you?"

"Yes, but I was pre-occupied. So what do you got?"

Sighing I squinted a bit up at the collection of symbols. "Darkseid did this before in another part of the universe, but his own son, Orion, resisted him and created the bow as the ultimate weapon of good. It destroyed his father, but he knew not forever. So he hid it here, on Earth, afraid his father would choose a planet with such a fallible race."

Conner and I both blushed. Conner because he still had incredible powers even if he was part Lex and me because that's basically how my "dad" Jor-El thought of humans.

It was a lot of how I felt my dark year in Metropolis.

"But he was tainted himself, son of someone so evil, so only a balance of dark and light could find the Bow again. However, only a warrior of the pure light could wield it."

"Kara was supposed to take it. Jor-El called her back to the Fortress, and I went ahead because I wanted to be cured. I touched it, it crumbled, Granny showed up and the next thing I remembered, I was digging up Gold K by your farm."

I sighed and resisted the urge to touch my throbbing nose. We all know where everything else had led. It really didn't matter now how we'd gotten here. "That happens," I said quietly. "We've all had our chances to be played. I mean, Brainiac Five knew all my triggers to press just like Conner and Lionel 2.0."

"Or me and original recipe Papa Luthor back in high school," Chloe corrected, patting Oliver's shoulder. "Granny used you. She knew she could use your insecurities against you too."

"And I still made my choices."

Oliver didn't look at me, but still looked at the runes, as if they were all that interesting. Most prophecies, I'd found after a decade, were maddeningly vague. "I'm sorry, Clark."

I shrugged and walked toward the edge of the chamber that had once held the Bow. It was truly nothing left now but dust. It must not be worth much or Granny would have scooped it up herself. The Bow was definitely beyond reconstituting now. Still, Chloe leaned down next to me and started collecting all she could in a large ziplock bag, when it was full, she zipped into a large one, and a larger, and finally sealed all of it up in a taped up black leaf bag. It'd go like that to Watchtower where she and Emil would secure the ashes under glass.

The others proceeded out ahead of me and I gave once last glance at the runes, mostly about the same haughty humans are lowly bullshit that Kryptonians had believed so fiercely. For what it's worth, humans are still around and whatever Darkseid was and my race aren't. I think that's a point for you guys.

I felt it then again, that sensation of eyes watching me and turned around, cursing when my glasses slipped onto the stone. They at least landed without cracking and I knelt down, feeling for them until I found them. Someone raked something across my neck and I hissed, raising my head up fast, before I'd even slipped on my glasses.

"Conner? Not funny!"

There was a breeze and mini-me was there then, placing my glasses on my nose. He was frowning at me. "Clark, you didn't come out. Shit, man, what'd you do to your neck? That's not too deep but it's bleeding a lot." He tore a band around the bottom of his t-shirt and pressed it against the back of my neck. "Clark?"

I stood up in a daze. "I...you didn't do that?"

"Why would I?"

"Then who the Hell did?"

We were sitting around the fire place and the inn reminded me uncomfortably of the bed and breakfast outside of Smallville. I half expected Chloe and Ollie to be wearing matching robes or something. Conner had helped bandage up my neck and I was wearing my jacket to cover the bandages. I looked pretty wrecked and felt it. Sighing, I took a long drink of Earl Grey.

"So someone scratched you?" Chloe asked.

"I didn't do it to me and, no, I know I'm a little klutzy but I definitely didn't do this either."

"I didn't say that," she said tightly. "I just mean that is this the only thing? Did you notice anything else in the cavern. Conner, you have better senses, did you?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't actively working to hear things. I don't do it if I don't think I have to. It's pretty invasive."

Oliver nodded. "New order. Your ears are on high alert here on the Isles and from now on. I don't know what you're listening for but something else was in that cavern and it knew where the Bow's remains were."

"And that it could hurt Clark," Conner added.

I nodded, "Then whatever it was knew I was powerless, which, yes broken nose and glasses for real now, but it knew."

"Oliver, you and Bruce did kill the prophets, right?" Chloe asked.

"Of course. I shot De Saad and Godfrey through the heart and Bruce snapped Granny's neck."

I sighed. It wasn't something we normally did. I guess, if you squinted, the prophets had sold out to evil and were no longer truly human. However, considering that Diana, Conner, J'onn, Kara, and I weren't technically fully human either it was flimsy reasoning. We had a big no killing sentient beings policy if we could avoid it. The end of the world had precluded it on a level that even Bruce and Oliver had bent for, and, I hadn't known Bruce very long or well, but he didn't seem like a murder first kind of guy.

"But no one shot Granny through the heart?" Chloe pressed.

"I...know, but I saw her; she was dead."

"Tess said after she escaped from the orphanage that Granny helped bring her back because she didn't want her favorite girl to die," I admitted. "I always assumed it was all because of Cadmus, that it was just cloning and, well-"

"My skin grafts that brought her back," Conner conceded. "I was like four. No way I had enough for half of her body. Just no way."

"That means Granny had to regenerate a lot of her," Chloe finished. "That she's not as mortal as the others and we made an assumption."

"Oh crap," Conner said. "Can she bring back Darkseid?"

"She'd need to make other prophets first, generate the hysteria of the Unholy Trinity," I pointed out. "Carter said he drove them back in 1940s Germany." I didn't need to elaborate on why there at that time. "We had to push it back now but it build for a year, almost, when I accidentally released him opening dimensions to send the Kandorians back. It'd take longer for her to mobilize without De Saad at her side or a candidate to replace Godfrey, with most of her Furies defeated and her girls in training adopted out. It'd be very hard to do that."

"Not impossible," Oliver said. "She can start it all over again, start the corruption needed to bring him back."

"Not if we find her first," Chloe finished.

"I...she's toying with us," I finished. "I felt something watching us at De Saad's. I thought I was just being paranoid."

Oliver frowned at her. "You guys were at De Saad's?"

"For a minute, I was investigating something," she hedged.

Interesting.

"Yeah but we didn't find anything and I didn't think me feeling freaked out was a sign."

"Apparently, it is." Conner sighed and scratched at his cheek. "So what do we do now? We don't know much about Granny. I mean can read minds and erase them, looks for young girls to raise to power and furyhood, and really seemed to love Tess in her creepy prophet way."

I blinked, looking around at all of them. "Then I know what she wants."

"To bring on the Apocalypse and Apokolips again, yeah, duh," Oliver said.

"No, I don't...eventually, sure, but that'll take her years to decades to rebuild the lead they all had. She wants us."

"Because we stopped Darkseid," Chloe said. "Perfect."

I shook my head and glanced at Conner. "No, she wants us because we let Tess die alone having a wedding and not answering our cells."

Conner looked between the three of us and stood up, walking as quickly as he could in human speed to the stairs. He'd not risk exposure even then. I couldn't even begin to think about how upset he was. We'd left Tess on Watchtower duty but then had had everything off for the ceremony, when at least one of us should have had a phone at least on vibrate, anything for when she was off on her own.

We sat there for a long time, not saying anything, letting our guilt weigh between us, and wondering what Granny was going to do about it.


	17. Chapter 17

17

Chloe went upstairs after everything in order to check on Conner and make sure he didn't try speeding all the way back to D.C. or Metropolis without us. I dreaded going back up to the room. Conner hadn't been here the day everything fell apart. He hadn't realized that we'd not been paying enough attention to know that Tess was on her way to a confrontation with Lex. Technically, that didn't happen until Diana, J'onn, Oliver and Bruce were on their collective mission, but we could have talked to her any time during the prep and ceremony, could have canceled the whole stupid day to rally around her intel.

I hadn't wanted that.

Like I said, Tess had died protecting a secret I no longer technically had and I couldn't have been bothered to pick up the damn phone.

Yes, it did strike as ironic if I had even put mine to vibrate or accepting texts, then I'd still be on track to be Superman or whatever. It still wasn't as bitter a taste in my mouth as realizing how unfair it had been to Tess, how much it was currently hurting Conner, and now the conflict it would lead to with the not-dead Granny Goodness and her forces. One mistake after another.

Story of my life.

Oliver sat beside me, drinking a scotch. I stayed to tea. I'd cured myself of the urge to ever want to drink alcohol again, especially as I still felt a little dizzy from flying. "Clark?"

I snorted. "We're probably the worst superheroes ever."

"We save stuff pretty regularly."

"We fuck a lot of stuff up too. Some things come along regardless, sure, but sometimes it's like I spend more time cleaning up my own messes than saving people. Maybe now that I can't cosmically fuck up like with the Phantoms or Darkseid, things will be safer."

"Maybe," he said, although from his tone, I didn't believe him. He took a long sip and stared at the fire. "I'm sorry, Clark."

"Why?" I asked, actually a little confused. "We all made a mistake not answering Tess's calls that day or even checking in. We all should have known better. I should have known better and not had a wedding until Darkseid was stopped, given me incentive maybe."

"Maybe, but you deserve to have a life too."

I snickered and took a sip of my tea, hissing when my tongue burned a little. God, there was a million ways for humans to get hurt. It wasn't any fun, that was for sure. "I have nothing but now. Lots of free time."

"I screwed us all over, man. There's no Bow because of me, not really, and we lost you, at least the phenomenal cosmic powers part."

"I come in a bottle, just rub it and pop me out," I said dryly. "You make me sound like a genie or something."

"Well...you could do basically anything."

"Except fly," I said ruefully. "I'd have really liked to do that one right, just once. It was like my Everest, I guess."

Oliver frowned at me but didn't say anything for a long time. "I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I could have just asked all of you for help and I never should have played Kara for a fool."

"Ollie, I don't have it in me to be mad or to blame just you. We all made a lot of bad decisions fighting Darkseid and the day of the wedding. Yeah, I paid for it, but so did Tess and, had things gone the way Skeets said they should have , then Lois would be dead and I'd never ever want that. I mean, I still care about her and everyone in the League loves her as family at the very least. I...none of the choices were easy."

"I could have trusted you all not to judge me."

I sighed. "I can be a really judgmental guy. I admit it. With Zod in the Phantom Zone, it did occur to me that you might have had second thoughts and then just screwed me. I mean, I was like 95% sure that you were going to stick to the plan, but I had doubt in you."

"Hell I had doubt in me," he replied, draining his drink. "If you didn't trust me, then I'm not really shocked. I had a lot of rage in me, and I have for a long time. I had it over mom and dad's death, then with you lecturing me over killing Lex, and of course all this misplaced pain that Chloe was gone. I did it wrong, man. De Saad didn't even have to tempt me."

"I know," I replied, sighing. "Just, I don't have the energy in me to blame other people. You know?"

"That's nice but-"

"I...mom always says that you forgive people not because you need to but because they need it. Ollie, I forgive you. I'm gonna be okay, you know? I'm figuring this whole mortal thing out, slowly."

"Can I say I'm sorry I broke your nose?"

I laughed. "If I come out all lumpy because of this, then I'm going to make you pay to fix it."

He shook my hand, and it surprised me all over again how much firmer his grip was than mine. "Deal."

I met Chloe outside the hall of Conner's room. She was a little sniffly and red-eyed herself.

"I...how is he?"

"Not happy, but he promised to wait until we flew home to the 'Tower tomorrow."

"To what?"

"He's going to stay in Georgetown with Martha for a while. I don't think he wants to see any of us right now."

I sighed. "I wouldn't want to see me either."

She nodded. "I miss her too; I'm not very proud of what we did."

I frowned. "Why?"

"We were assholes?"

"No, I mean you and Tess were never close. You weren't even here while she was Watchtower; it's why she was Watchtower after all."

"No, you don't get it. We had this long time locked up in Watchtower when Checkmate was chasing her. I got the chip out of her too. It's just, we came to a lot of understandings then and when she died to save you from Zod, even if she failed at it, I knew she'd be good enough to take care of you while I was gone. It's why I called her into help me erase myself."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We didn't start off all that well and we had our Ollie tensions, but I think we understood each other. We also talked while you found the truck in the barn. She knows what it's like to try and protect someone as stubborn as you. I...she was as good at it as I was, to be honest, maybe better because she didn't get creepy obsessive."

"I wouldn't say that. You're not replaceable. Besides, Tess wasn't you. I-"

She shook her head and squeezed my hand. "You, Mr. Kent, have a way of getting motherless young girls to fall head over heels for you. Sometimes, they'll die for you. You should be flattered."

"I'd just settle for Tess back and never having sat eighteen hours with you."

"I'd Rolling Stones you here but you won't get the reference."

"Huh?"

"You can't always get what you want, Clark. Tess and I understood that and so we understood each other."

"Chlo-"

She left me then and I opened the door to Conner's and my room. My mini-me was sitting on the bed, staring at nothing in particular. He hadn't cried that much, and I wasn't surprised. He was that age where even under that kind of stress, guys didn't cry.

"Hey Con, what's up?" I said, trying for the breezy approach.

He looked at me, his expression unreadable. Maybe it was one of Lex's. Hard to tell what was me or Lex in that mix and what was only Conner. I wonder what it said about the three of us that everything was so indistinguishable. "Why was it hard to answer a phone, Clark?"

"I-"

"Why?"

I swallowed and forced myself to look him in the eyes. "I wanted the ceremony to be perfect for Lois, me too. I didn't want interruptions. I figured Tess could handle it for a few hours or call J'onn. I didn't even realize."

"You left her alone. Why wouldn't you freaking listen to Watchtower?"

"It's not like that."

He shook his head. "I loved her. She was my whole family, and you...you couldn't be bothered ."

"I'm your family too. Me and mom and Kara when she ever gets back."

"You're not very good at it. Is there anything else about you and Tess I should know? Any other nice shocks for me to absorb?"

I swallowed and looked at my hands. I'd had them around her throat at least twice, once I'd dangled her over a skyscraper. It'd been a threat, I think, but even I wasn't sure. That didn't count me being out of my mind on gemstone Kryptonite and trying to basically flambe her for a murder she hadn't committed and I had no proof of.

"Clark?"

"I hurt her a few times the year before. I...once I was poisoned by Kryptonite. But I tried to strangle her and I wasn't even high, and I dangled her over a building. I didn't kill her and she recovered, but, yeah, I hurt her."

Conner nodded and swiped at his eyes. "Maybe I should be more worried I'm half you than I'm half Lex. Without Daddy Dearest to raise me, maybe I won't turn out so bad on that end."

"Ouch, I earned that."

"You're damn right you did. What is so fucking wrong with you that you'd strangle a woman with our powers? Why?"

"I thought...I was mad."

He snorted and stood up. "You know, you're right. You didn't deserve these abilities and I'm glad you lost them. Someone smart didn't want another Zod out there. Fuck this. Fuck all of you. I'm going to mom's." There was a breeze and then I was alone, grabbing my cell and hoping I had the international calling ability needed to call D.C. and to make sure he was okay.

At least physically.

I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom. My tie was already tied and I was finally able to take off the little squares of toilet paper from my face. It didn't look great, but it'd do for a cubicle job. It was Monday morning and I was starting at Wayne Industries in Research and Development. Since I'd lost any genius I'd had, I wasn't really sure what good I'd be there. I wasn't stupid or anything. I was still very smart for a human, still would have been able to do AP level work or something if I were still in high school, just with effort now. I'd never be what I was intellectually any more than I'd ever bend steel or superspeed.

Adjustments and all that.

A knock sounded on my door. "Kal, are you dressed appropriately? It's almost eight thirty and if we do not hail a cab now, we'll be late."

Sighing, I grabbed my black suit coat and walked over to open the door. When I did, I had to smile. Diana clearly was seeing Bruce today and had tried to do some make up. She was very pretty on her own, but she hadn't done make up right. I know nothing about that. I just knew that she looked like a raccoon around the eyes and that her lips were very, very red.

"Uh, Diana?"

"What?"

I shrugged and handed her a towel from atop my dresser. "Here, Bruce will like the natural you."

"I wasn't-"

"Trust me, you were," I said, following her to the elevator and then out to the street to hail our cab. As we waited and I appreciated her humoring me since she could be to work in a blink, I sighed and played with the buttons of my blazer. It was warm for when was it? Late June now? All the weeks were blurring to me now. "Diana?"

"Yes, Kal?" she said, still waving for a cab.

"I need you to know this. I'd rather you didn't beat the crap out of me, but you should know. I beat Chloe and Tess both up two years ago. With Chloe I was intoxicated against my will, but with Tess, I was myself. I strangled her by the neck and almost killed her."

She dropped her hand and stood nose to nose with me (if one counted her boots). "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"Rip my arms off?" I said, voice breaking.

"Kal, what did Chloe and Tess do after you hurt them?"

"They let it slide after I...well they let it slide and I let them know I was sorry." Eventually.

She nodded. "I trust Chloe's judgment. She'd make a fine Amazon, despite her size. If my sister vouches for you, it works for me."

"But?"

"If you hurt any woman again and I hear of it. We'll have words."

"Define words?"

She smiled as a cab finally pulled over. "The kind your knee caps will not enjoy."

I gulped but dove into the cab. The driver was a guy and already eyeing her boobs from the rear view mirror. If I didn't go with her, he'd be toast.

Oh the things I did for the good of my fellow man.

Lucius Fox was a tall man, actually not less than an inch or two shorter than I was. He wasn't broad really, not frail or withered for his seventy years, but he was strong, carried himself with a dignified air, sort of like a good version of Lionel. He was erudite, soft spoken, and had a broad smile I liked very much.

I could see why The Batman had picked him as one of his confidantes.

I smiled nervously and shook his hand, groaning a little as my glasses slid over my bandage. "Mr. Fox, nice to meet you. I'm Clark Kent." Meh, even if I looked the part and so far sucked at hand-to-hand, I didn't have to pretend to be a simpering loser anymore.

"Nice to have you. Our mutual acquaintance, 'Mrs. Queen' has had so many good things to say about you."

"Probably no longer accurate," I said, knowing full well that Bruce, Lucius and Bruce's butler Alfred knew about the League and what I'd lost.

"We'll see," he said before nodding warmly at Diana. "He's in his office and expecting you Miss Prince. If you take the elevator to the top floor and give her your name, you'll be let right in."

Diana blushed. "Oh as soon as he can is more than fine."

I laughed and patted her shoulder, relieved when she didn't try and strangle hold me for it. "I'm sure he's as anxious on the other end. Go and get 'em."

"Get what, Kal?"

"Miss Prince, he's cleared his morning for just you," Lucius replied, before taking me to the opposite bank of elevators and down to the basement. Now, when I say basement, I am sure that you're thinking that Chloe helped swing one crappy job in the middle of dripping pipes to another crap job in the middle of dripping pipes. Now, the atmosphere was a little creepy with dark halls and flickering lights by the main bathroom. However, I should mention at this point that Wayne Industries had a military applications division, which did, yes, actually have U.S. contracts but at least a third of it was clearly for Bruce's own "after hours" use.

Not the least of which was sitting in front of me right now.

"Holy crap that's the Batmobile!"

Lucius laughed and I swear his voice was so deep that it was what I imagined god would have sound liked or at least a really good narrator. "Mr. Kent, we actually call it 'The Tumbler' and this is only a prototype. The real version, the most recent and updated version, is in Gotham, naturally. Mr. Wayne has this while he's in Metropolis. Based on Mr. Queen's lack of luck training you, Bruce isn't sure how long he'll have to be here to help."

I rolled my eyes. "Training's going okay."

"How did you break your nose?"

"I might have gotten a little distracted. It's not Ollie's fault."

"You went patrolling a few days before with Diana and she said you weren't very good."

"I did knock a guy out! I think that's pretty good."

"Then someone got the jump on you and if she didn't have superspeed, you'd have been shot."

"Well, I am learning. Ollie has been shot more than once, you know. Chloe didn't get field skills for years, except being handy with a taser. I think I'm about five weeks into being human."

"I'm not accusing. I'm just saying that Mr. Wayne has at least a summer's worth of work to do with you. I know that Mr. and Mrs. Queen hope to get back to Star City by September. 'Anne' already sent Bruce and invitation for their wedding."

"Heh."

"Well a red stretch hummer limo and a Madonna dress weren't her style," she mentioned.

"No, not at all."

"Good, then we should make sure you're self-reliant over the next two months. Like Anne said, Oliver's trained in archery since he was a child. Bruce spent seven years abroad in Asia learning martial arts and over a year now in Gotham honing his skills. Mrs. Queen has slowly been learning marksmanship among other things. We can't make you into The Batman in two months."

"I know," I muttered.

"But you can be capable of holding your own on patrol if you're smart and careful, and if you agree to follow your partner's lead for a long time to come."

"Excuse me?"

Lucius sighed. "Mr. Kent, you do understand that until you actually have the skill set that Oliver or Bruce have, you'll never be allowed to patrol alone. Even Anne is always paired with someone more experienced or stronger than she is."

"That would take me five years or more."

"Easily."

"I...I can take care of myself."

"Not from bullets, not anymore. You only had to worry about very few things in the world before. Now you're having trouble with normal things, like beer tops," he said gesturing to my hand and I knew Chloe'd figured out my injury and ratted me out.

"But subordinate? I am not the junior partner. I'm not going to be like 'Speedy' for Oliver or I don't even know, the batboy for Bruce!"

"No one said you would but that you're no longer allowed out alone for a long, long time to come and, that when your partner tells you, whether it be J'onn or Diana or Oliver, that you learn to take their lead and duck or retreat as they say."

"You mean run away?"

"Anne said you'd lost your powers a few times before, once ended with a bullet in your heart and the other an arrow through it. Do you remember the pain from those?"

"As much as you can remember pain, yeah. It was bad."

"Understatement," Lucius said dryly. "You're not getting a reset, Mr. Kent. There's no deus ex machina for you. No Fortress of Solitude, no time travel, no yellow sun. If you get shot, you do what all humans would do and die. Anne won't allow you out to get killed."

"Won't let me?"

Who the Hell was Chloe to decide that?

"And, more importantly, neither Bruce or Oliver will train you from this day forward. Either you do it the League's way, or we won't be responsible for your death."

"I-"

"I'm glad we understand each other. Now, getting down to your job, what would you like to do?"

"Wait we were talking about everyone treating me like I was seven."

"That's not my policy to fix or to change. I'm the messenger. If you have a problem, talk with Mrs. Queen. Her rules."

I snorted. Of course they were.

"Lucius, what did Chloe, um, Anne tell you about me?"

"I know you were the Blur, that you used to work as a journalist for the DP until Lex blacklisted you. She mentioned as a kid you were, unsurprisingly, drawn to astronomy and that you were a math genius."

"I was. I'm not an idiot, but all that photographic memory and calculator mind stuff is gone. I'm not anything close to a genius."

"Bruce anticipated that your mental abilities might be related to your other gifts. He doesn't expect you to be a genius."

"Alright?"

"He expects you, to be creative," he handed me a laptop with more bells and whistles on it than almost anything at Watchtower. "You have an unlimited budget, I assure you, and an intimate knowledge of crime fighting. Think up what you'd like."

"Huh?"

"Prototypes for The Dark Knight, Clark, that's what I specialize in. Some of it is altered and sold to the military, yes, but most of it has a higher purpose. Like I said, think up what you want and we'll talk."

"I...I am not a drawer really or a programmer."

"I can do that. Bruce can do that."

Oh, now I had to guys to feel inferior too, great.

"And?"

"I need someone creative. I've read your work, most of it is regular enough, but some of it shows a lot of promise for thinking outside of the regular traps."

"I don't write sci-fi or whatever." Didn't need to. I was sci-fi, even now.

"Oh, I'm talking about what Anne dropped off for Bruce after he asked about your creative potential. He reviewed what she gave him and he was quite thrilled with it."

"Un-freaking-believable. We had a pact!"

"I'm sure, Mr. Kent," Lucius said laughing. "Settle down and ask for whatever thing you need create. Remember it's a win-win for all of you. Whatever you come up with, Queen and Wayne Industries can supply after their merger. Now, just ask yourself, what do you want?"


	18. Chapter 18

18

Actually, this job was pretty freaking awesome. I didn't have a secretary or anything, but if I went up on the elevator to the main floor, I could have any type of food or CD or anything "to help me think" that I wanted. The first day, I just spent familiarizing myself with the laptop, all the computer rendering programs, and things I'd be learning to use in addition to flat out writing ideas out in just words. (I'd never been an artist free hand, ask Maddie.) There was air conditioning, no toilets or tacos, and I could quit at five.

Oh, yeah, I sat around all freaking day thinking of gadgets. It was like being in a Bond film or something.

If Chloe hadn't sold me out, I'd be kissing her right now for getting me a really fun place to work, and one, to boot, that understood my chaotic "work schedule." Of course, she had revealed things on pain of death that she was never supposed to, and also apparently had "Clark is human(ish)" confused with "Clark is an eight year old."

I swear there is a difference.

Really.

I remembered this time to change into sneakers before walking the fifteen blocks to The Excelsior . I gave them the information that I was now on the Queens admit list and that I was going up to visit my dog, whom they were sitting for me. Truly they were, since Conner was home in D.C. and not really talking to me. I mean, he'd yelled a lot over the phone when I was talking to mom and said things I shouldn't repeat here, but I didn't count that as communicating.

I knocked on the door loudly, and then called out, letting them know I wasn't just a maid or someone who couldn't see Ollie's gear. "Ahem, 'Anne' I have to talk to you."

"Clark, man," Oliver said, opening the door. "How was your first day?"

"Pretty good," I admitted honestly. "However, I need to talk to your wife. Possibly I might need to kill her."

Oliver shrugged. "That gets repetitive with her you know."

"Oh believe me, I'm aware."

Ollie shrugged. "Is it going to get the carpet dirty?"

"I can do it bloodlessly," I admitted.

"Meh, she's had a good run. I'm going down to the pizzeria down the street to pick up extra veggie because of her. As she's on her way out of the mortal coil, remind her what pepperoni is for."

I smiled. "Will do, man, bring me back cheese sticks."

With that he was out the door and I was left glaring at my best friend (and realizing how much green had bled into her wardrobe as of late.) I was beyond annoyed. "You're a jerk, Chlo."

"Oh hi, Clark," she drawled. "Why am I gonna die now?"

"You know why! You promised!"

"We were fourteen."

I sat down on the couch and shook my head, leaning over as if someone would be around to overhear me. "You promised Chloe. It was to the death, way more serious than the alien stuff."

She snorted. "I'm glad you have your priorities in place, Clark."

"I'm serious! That June before freshman year, you discovered my stash of truly poorly written eighth grade science fiction, ripping off Bradbury like crazy, and then told me your write poems and that we'd never ever tell anyone. How did you even steal copies of that crap."

"I have my evil ways," she replied. "Besides, I had no idea you'd written a ton more and saved it all."

"Oh my god! Lois found it when we cleared out the farm, didn't she? I had it all hidden in a secret drawer in my desk."

She giggled, amused. "So, you can show most of us all your Kryptonian artifacts and secrets, but actually well written and surprisingly not 'Valley of the Doll's like fiction. I mean, it's surprising you still write it since it's our lives but more unusual it's not just about us with names changed to protect the innocent."

"I...sometimes I like to relieve stress and video games used to be too easy and boring. I can have a hobby."

Chloe nodded. "Lois just found them and gave them to me after..."

"...I moved out," I finished lamely. "Did she read it?"

"She skimmed some. It's not really her thing. I read the whole stack, most of which even I hadn't seen, thought it was really good and passed it onto Bruce to prove you were creative if not a math supergenius anymore."

"I...he read all of it?"

"Yup. Some of them were really good. You could brush off a few and get them published in an anthology collection or Red Book or something."

"You weren't supposed to show them to people! A real friend would have burned it and given me the ashes."

"Well, I'll tell you what. If you can find where I hide my embarrassing poetry about Uncle Jesse from Full House then you are more than welcome to show Oliver."

"You could have hidden them anywhere, maybe even in The Talon so it's burned up."

She shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not."

I sighed and leaned back on the sofa. "Bruce has to think I'm lame."

"He was pretty busy when he was here last time and I think he figured he could use you where he put you."

"I...does Ollie know?"

Chloe bit her lip and her eyes looked anywhere but at me. "Uh-"

"Chloe! Which one did he see?"

"Well, define 'which one?'"

"One as in not a lot!"

"Well, he might have seen the whole stack too. He and Bruce are merging companies and R and D divisions. He needed to approve you too."

I sighed and shook my head. "This really freaking sucks, Chlo. I will find your poetry and I will post it all over Watcthower, when I do."

"If it didn't burn up!"

"Oh, I'll find some somewhere. I'll put The Torchettes on it."

"They work for me, too late."

"I'm such a loser," I said, taking off my glasses-you know, the ones I needed-and rubbing my eyes. "I'll never live it down."

She shrugs. "We all have our secrets, Clark."

"Some best friend you are."

She patted my knee and, yeah, cause I'm a guy I wished she hadn't just done that quickly and only on my knee. "I'm your very best friend in the world. Who got you a good job? Oh yeah me!"

I opened on eye and glared. "Lucius told me that if Bruce trains me, I have to promise to never go out by myself and to always have a senior partner, like be a sidekick."

"That's how I patrol. Are you saying that I'm a sidekick?" she asked coolly.

I paused and thought about my options. Chloe could still kick my ass. It might not be a great idea to imply she wasn't as good as the others. "No, of course not. You haven't been a sidekick in forever."

"That's what I thought."

"Still, I'm not an invalid. You don't respect me."

"I respect you a lot, Clark, but I'm the one who almost always finds you when you're dead or dying. I watched Gabriel and Oliver shoot you. I helped get you unimpaled from those vines through your heart. I was there when you woke up from the flatliner serum. I've seen a lot and the last thing I want is for it to be permanent. Do you get that? I almost had that happen when I tried to pull the tubes out of you not six months ago!" she shook a little at the vehemence of her words, but she didn't cry. "I will not put you in the ground."

"Then that's two of us," I said crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not...I'm not inferior."

"You're new."

"I patrolled since I was a freshman and three years in Metropolis. I'm hardly new."

She sighed and gave me smile number four again. "The Blur did that. 'Clark Kent, human guy' hasn't. You have to start small and you have to listen to Wonder Woman or the Manhunter. If you want to do this and stay alive, you have to admit you have a lot of limitations and that being careful beats being dead."

"I'm not Ollie's junior partner."

"I'd say not, Asimov," Oliver said, coming in with two large pizzas, one was clearly all meat because I could smell it and feel my tongue dripping from here. It had been six hours since my sub at lunch.

"Hey!" I objected, realizing the allusion.

"Yes, imagine that," Ollie said, handing me a slice and a plate. "I have read a book or two there, Heinlein."

"Ha-ha," I said, biting into a lot of pepperoni and spicy sausage. "At least I can spell, pretty boy."

"Chloe!"

"You two are on your own," she said, opening up her own box and pulling out something with green peppers and onions. "That'll give you both heart attacks."

"But what a way to go," I said, taking another bite. "And, Oliver, who is your sidekick?"

"Don't have one save for Mia sometimes." He smiled and kissed Chloe despite her onion breath. "Just a partner."

I forced myself to keep eating after that, because I'd need something in my stomach for learning from Bruce, but I wasn't hungry anymore.

Bruce and Diana came into the 'Tower at about nine that night. Chloe'd pushed everything out of the way again and added extra mats to double protect me from any falls I had. I wasn't sure how to take that. Bruce, actually, is fairly tall but not as tall as I am. He's broader though. I mean, I have broad shoulders sure, and have had since football really. However, Bruce is broad all over. He's not fat or stocky, that's not what I mean. He's just one huge muscle, everything ripped and ready but not in a sculpted way like Oliver, like in a "I can kill you with my pinky in thirty seconds" way. Like, okay, shave a bear and name it Bruce.

Now you're getting the picture.

Bruce didn't train in yoga pants like Ollie. He had something akin to a karate Gi in black for his legs and no shirt. I was really confused. Was there like a manual somewhere for this? I'm not a shy guy by nature, not too much, but I wasn't really sure where the no t-shirts code came from. Of course, if Chloe adopted it for sparring with Diana, I'd surely shuck mine too.

Still, I wasn't really here to show off. I thought my grey t-shirt and track pants would be fine.

Diana, actually in uniform, pulled away from Bruce and sat down in the sick bay, from her vantage point she could watch. Oliver was already on the stairwell. They were giving us space. Chloe, for her part, gave an un-Chloe like squeal and gave Bruce a hug.

Huh, he didn't break her spine for doing it.

I took this as an encouraging thing.

Diana looked like she might do it to Chloe though, based on the glares.

I rolled my eyes. We were too much drama for our own good. "Ah, Chlo?"

She sighed and let Bruce drop her the few inches to the ground. "Sorry, I actually didn't go to Gotham to meet The Batman, even if it was on my mind. Bruce's dad and my dad were fraternity brothers. I've known him for years. Imagine my shock when it took about five minutes to figure out he was moonlighting in our industry."

"Huh, small world, sidekick," Oliver said.

"Right, weird," I replied.

I looked at Oliver and he nodded. Yeah, we could take Bruce, we could do it. We really didn't need a guy with my looks and Ollie's money at the table. Nope, and we could probably get J'onn to immolate the body if we gave him Oreos.

I'd talk to Ollie about it later.

Bruce was not really a talker. He gave a tight smile and patted Chloe on the shoulder. "It had been a while. I was not happy to have her in my cave. Of course, then she explained she was Watchtower for the JLA and exchanging information and training advice seemed pertinent."

"Meaning?"

"I helped him upgrade his computer hacking skills even if Lucius has him mainly covered," she said. "I mean, the Great Detective doesn't need much help, but I def needed the weapons and martial arts training. I'd already been in Themyscira because I'd wanted to track down those rumors for years and I gave him Diana's info."

"So like a love connection?" I asked breezily.

"Kal," Diana said with the regal nature she possessed, "It was business."

Bruce said nothing and made no facial expression. Yeah, I know people say that about me, but I had a feeling Bruce looked the same if he were happy or angry, drunk or constipated: stonewall.

"Oh, right, business," I added, appeased when Chloe made her way to the stairwell, but less happy when Oliver basically grabbed her into his lap. I sighed. Bruce and Oliver could fight out for Alpha male. I wasn't going to be in the running for that probably ever again anyway, and I'd fucked it up when I'd been it.

Hell, maybe we should just put Diana in charge and see if she'd fuck it up less.

Chloe rolled her eyes and gave Ollie a peck on the cheek. "Ollie, dad and I used to visit after mom left. I mean, I've known Bruce and Alfred since I was five. He's like Clark, totally a brother."

I narrowed my eyes at her.

Liar.

"Sure sidekick," Ollie said, still with an arm wrapped around her. "Just we'll keep a distant rule, for you of course so Diana leaves you be."

"I would never hurt a sister," Diana replied.

"I know that," Chloe huffed. "Men are stupid."

"This is what I've said for over a month," she replied, relieved as if Chloe were beginning to understand why you could beat the shit out of a guy for wolf whistling at you. I suppose if you were Diana, you could.

"Anyway," Bruce said in a voice that sounded like he'd tried-and failed-to sound like Clint Eastwood. "Clark are you going to try or aren't you?"

"Sure," I said, walking to the center of the mat and tightening the strap on my glasses. "You, uh, aren't going to break other things, are you?"

Bruce eyed my nose and shook his head. Walking to the corner near the kitchenette, he pulled out a dummy. I use that term loosely. It had a human like head, yes, made from what looked like a sack filled with straw, but the torso, arms, legs, and various appendages were made of wood.

"Um?"

Bruce set the dummy beside me and nodded at me to move. I figured he wasn't the type of guy I wanted to make ask me twice, so I sat in front of Chloe on the stairs. He said nothing but set to work in a series of short, brutal moves that lacked Chloe's grace or Ollie's fluidity. It was dirty, fast, and sounded painful. I timed it looking at the clock over the sick bay doors. It took him forty five seconds.

He'd broken both legs and arms in forty five seconds.

I sighed and looked back at Chloe, "So, uh, us junior partners have a good health plan right?"  
>**<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

19

Bruce spent the day taking me through some basic stances. In deference to my nose, I think, or maybe because he felt that I just wasn't ready for what needed to be done, we just went through basic things and breathing techniques. It was boring but at least nothing broke this time. I counted that as a good day. I'd like to say I got to hang out with Chloe after. That's not how it worked at all. She ended up walking out to patrol to Batman and Wonder Woman, one arm linked in Diana's, while we'd been distinctly not invited.

It gave me these paranoid thoughts of Bruce with both Chloe and Diana.

It made no sense cause none of them were that kind of person and she'd made it clear she was very in love with Oliver. However, it didn't make me want to run out and protect her virtue any less. Or drink. I settled on just some soda while Oliver pulled out some scotch. I'd really over done it my first time where I could get drunk the mortal way. The vomiting all over myself and killer headache were enough to turn me off the idea of doing it for a long time yet to come.

"Ugh, Bruce," I said, taking a sip, and leaning my head on my knees. Lucky came down from our room then (he's gotten to the point where he shrieks at night if I don't let him sleep on the mattress with me) and started to groom my hair. I could use the reassurance. At least someone liked me!

I mean okay, so Oliver had Chloe and Bruce probably had Diana, but Lucky-though a guy-still would defend my honor. A guy could do worse in a cheerleader. Plus, he didn't judge about the dandruff thing.

Oliver nodded and drained his glass and then poured a bit of water to pace himself. "That was always my reaction in school."

"You, Lex and Bruce?"

"Yup, small world right? I mean, Lex was always a weirdo and I was a bully, I admit it, but Bruce was just quiet. He never socialized. If I were a more paranoid guy, I'd say he was always focusing even on twelve on the day he'd be doing just this, as if he knew this was a life option."

"So he's sort of like a serial killer who works for our side."

"He's not that violent, has a code."

"If he didn't have one?"

Oliver shrugged. "Yes, then like a serial killer who works for our side but with marginally less personality than one's average Patrick Bateman."

"Huh?"

"Books, Clark."

"I read! Just not about serial killers."

Oliver smirked. "Just science fiction or, you know, extra journalism for you."

"Very funny," I said. "Chloe had a crush on John Stamos until we were twenty. She and Lois took a trip one summer to stalk him at L.A. but never found him. I can dig up pictures of that, I bet."

"No shit."

"Yeah, see? You have to worry about the JLA Serial Killer and 'Uncle Jesse.'"

"Good thing I have amazing hair and lots of money."

"I have better hair," I muttered. "Yours is all spiky and stupid." Lucky looked up and chittered at Oliver as if he had any idea what was going on.

"Mine doesn't have dead flakes of skin in it."

"I have a shampoo, it'll clear up and be great. Even Lex said that more than once. He had hair envy."

"That I can't deny, but to him any hair would be good hair."

"Like yours," I snickered, chugging more Mt. Dew.

"Skin flakes," he sing-songed. "Seriously, man, you never mentioned you wrote not just newspaper things. I'd have figured you maybe...I dunno...something all Hemingway and quiet and austere and shit."

"You mean less fantastical, well, to other people who don't realize how deep the rabbit holes go."

"Yeah, I get when you were a kid. You didn't know until high school, right?"

I sighed. Oliver and I hadn't really had this conversation or talked about me being (having been) Kryptonian and what it meant to me. Once he found out about me, once Dinah had hacked some records for him, he'd been standoffish and snippy. Then he'd been really angry about Chloe being in the middle of stuff no human should have been thrown into. Granted, her involvement had brought Brainiac to her and us to the far screwed timeline we were in now. Still, for a while, Oliver had taken it about as well as Pete had.

That had hurt.

Of course, I didn't have the inhuman ability part anymore, but I knew it didn't technically change my DNA with my cells fried or where I'd been born. People got hung up on that "not Earth" part.

"No, not until Lex hit me and I didn't die."

"Wow."

I nodded and stroked Lucky. "Mindfuck moment. I just, yeah, when I'd been little I'd really loved astronomy and science stuff. The telescope we had, the real one I mean, was granddad's. Dad taught me how to use it when I was five. I would spend hours out there just looking and it made them nervous. They...uh took it down for a while, but I cried until the put it back. I didn't know . How could you know that kind of thing? I just...it interested me."

"Oh."

I nodded. "I think they were sorry they ever introduced me to that sort of thing. I mean not all of it. They had this policy against sci-fi movies and the books, I snuck home classic stuff from the library. I wasn't sure if it was more like 'don't scare him with E.T.' or 'don't let him see Darth Vader and get ideas.'"

"Clark-"

"No, I...you asked. I liked it anyway and by the time I'd found out, I'd already been writing it for two years. It was just a habit and I kept doing it to release stress, weird as it sounds. I never even told Lois. I thought she'd think it was stupid. You and Bruce must think I'm an idiot."

"They were pretty good, actually."

"Experience of the literal kind with every thing from across the galaxy, present company included."

Oliver frowned. "You mean yourself and not like me or the rat."

"He's a lemur! Also, kind of. Everyone was all on me for being an egomaniac two years ago and, yeah, maybe I was a little and an idiot for trying to make nice with Zod, even if he wasn't exactly the Zod we're known. I don't feel that way. I miss my abilities. I hate being able to be injured cause I'm not good at protecting myself or keeping myself in one piece, you know?"

"Well people who have deficiencies detecting pain have a similar problem. See, one of our labs is-"

I nodded, "Like that, sort of. I dunno. Being sick or able to die, no take backs, is scary and hard, but being maybe three, depending on how much you count Conner, in seven billion is much scarier." I snorted and patted Lucky's haunch. "Still am, technically, just easier to get to with Kara in God knows when and with Conner pretty much full powered. I know that being fried doesn't make me human exactly. It just doesn't make me me, either."

"You're not alone, really. Conner's mad, but he'll come around. You have your mom and J'onn-"

"Ugh."

"And all of us. Hell, if you gave Lois some time, you could probably be back in some awkward but still friends place. Lane women are like that. They're pretty damn stubborn."

I laughed genuinely. "So I've noticed."

"It's just different. It's not something I like sharing. The League knows, or has for a while, not that I exactly authorized Dinah spreading it from what she hacked."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, but I just...all the good women are taken or already broken up with me."

"Or a lemur."

"I thought Lucky was a guy?"

"He is, I think he's confused."

"Oh."

I shrugged. "He defends me from bad men who break my nose."

"Yeah, about that, less chatting with Conner next time we spar."

"Definitely."

Oliver poured his second real drink and took a slow, deliberate sip. "What are you and Chloe?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"What are you two to each other?"

"I speak English and a basically dead language, and I don't think I have a word that fits it right. Best friends is what I usually go with. I guess, lately, 'brothers-in-arms' but that's a little sexist. Siblings maybe."

"Bullshit," he said. "Bruce is annoying but he and Diana are clearly as gone on each other as people that void of obvious emotion can be."

"Like Spock and Spockette," I snarked, shrugging one shoulder until the lemur hopped off and gave me space. "But Bruce aside?"

"I know he's not...even if I didn't know Thomas and Gabe had been college buddies, I don't worry about him."

My throat grew dry. "You worry about me or about your wife?"

"You, Clark. Your reputation proceeds you. I know what you did with Lana and Lex at their wedding, even if Lex is a genocidal asshole and creep, that's not why you tried to break it up."

"I only saw her after and Chloe shouldn't have mentioned it."

"Lana told me once, on the way home from Cuba, actually. Would you do that to me? Should I let you come in September."

"I'm not that guy anymore, and powers aren't part of that. It was a shitty thing to do and it's not who I want to be. Chloe, man, you make her happy. I made her cry a lot. I made the mistakes and you fixed them."

"Alright, I just, alright. We're friends and most of the time I trust you and we all know Chloe's integrity is beyond reproach. However, you've done stupid selfish things at weddings before."

"Not for her with Jimmy and not even high off my ass for you guys. I want her to be happy no matter what and, no matter what Skeets said was gonna happen, it's not happening now. I'm not gonna back stab anyone."

"Are you in love with her or is she an easy substitute for Lois?"

I sighed and looked out the Watchtower window. "Lois was an easy substitute for her. I made really stupid mistakes Oliver, I hope you do better. You both deserve it."

Standing up, I headed to my room, Lucky scurrying over the rafters to join me. I was suddenly very tired, the weight of my loneliness more than I could bear.

"Off now," Bruce growled. (Really, did he think he was fooling anyone with that Clint Eastwood thing? It was nearly impossible for me not to laugh.)

I blinked. "Um?"

He gestured to my plain blue t. "Off. I'll have Oliver or Chloe take you somewhere for an actual Gi."

"So sweats?" I barely registered movement before I was flat on my back. "Ouch."

He didn't offer to help me up. Bastard.

"Nothing loose. Diana really shouldn't have hair that length but she's invulnerable so I can hardly tell her what to do. No baggy t-shirts, no loose pants, no long hair. It's easier to grab in a fight. Get grabbed and you lose."

"That's why Chloe's hair is all hacked to hell."

"It's smart."

"It's not flattering," I admitted, rubbing my lower back.

"She'll live to fight another night, I'm sure she can live with that."

"You're not big on the humor, huh? I mean, not that I am. I'm a serious guy. I...you're very dour."

"I'll be hopeful when there's something to be hopeful about, Clark. Beg pardon-"

I laughed a little. He'd been raised since he was eight by his English butler. Even I was beginning to realize weird syntax and expressions slipped into his speech, things Americans didn't always say. "Sure, shoot."

"Certainly someone whose whole world managed to destroy itself would be anything but optimistic. I'd expected you to be more realistic than you are."

"Why? Dad and mom always told me to give people the benefit of the doubt and I've had trouble sometimes in life but, yeah, I try to. Wouldn't you?"

"Never," Bruce said, without elaborating. "Off now."

"Please never hurt," I muttered, taking off my shirt and rolling my eyes as Lucky came down to sit on the stair railing and observe. I almost didn't want him to bite Bruce.

Almost.

"Go through the stances I taught you yesterday first, and remember correct breathing for this. Before we continue, I have to speak with you seriously."

"No, that stand up comedy routine you were doing earlier had me confused."

"One," Bruce called out and I followed suit, putting up my arms in an approximation of his motion.

"What do you need?"

"Chloe explained the rules?"

"And Lucius. I get it. I don't run off half-cocked or you won't train me at all, even if I'm not a weakling."

Bruce changed to the second pose and I did as well. "It's not about that. To you, 'weakling' means lead will actually pierce your skin. It's always been fact for the bulk of us. You have to learn to think like that. You only had to fear magic or meteor rocks before. Now so many things can kill you, just one good day for an average thug, doesn't even take a supervillain."

"I know."

"Good," he said, taking in a deep breath. "It's not a demotion. It's how your mortal counterparts have broken up their shifts for a long time and you've just not noticed it."

"True," I said, taking on the third stance and wobbling a little when my balance was off at first. "So that's it right? The 'don't be stupid' stuff."

Bruce stopped and this time walked with me to a corner of the Watchtower where he'd set up two stands, I guess is the way to say it. One held a one inch thick wooden board, laid flat, and about at my chest height. The other, was a stack of, I swear, at least six two inch thick cinder block tiles, also propped up in a stack about at our chest levels.

"Uh?"

"Concentration, Clark. Did you need it to use your abilities before?"

"Only to learn how to access them. Then it was like a muscle reaction. I could just squint the right way and see through skin, no problems."

"It'll be like that eventually for the moves I'm going to teach you, and they won't be what Chloe and Oliver tried. You and I are bigger, thicker; we're built like street brawlers. It's not about form or beauty or points at a meet. It's about function. We go for the break, right away, and we move on. If you snap a man's wrist, he can't stab you by surprise three moves later, can he?"

"I-"

"No, he can't," Bruce continued. "The Keysi takes a lot of concentration and intensity. You were obviously distracted when Oliver broke your nose. We won't have distractions. We'll train at a secluded section of my holdings here, in the same building you work now. You'll work twelve hours a day with me, no less, except Monday, Wednesday, and Friday where you'll go to work. You patrol for now with Diana or J'onn only or with me for lessons. You do as we say, when we say it, while you apprentice."

"Apprentice?"

"Yes, and I'll pay you for the twelve hours your going to be working training in martial arts. You'll earn it."

"Apprentice?"

"Yes, apprentice ," Bruce rasped at me. "But you need to concentrate and do it intensely or this won't work. I had motivation.

"Your parents."

"Yes, but what do you have?"

I thought of Chloe, the thought of her getting hurt out on patrol when I'd dragged her into this life, of her (also no mortal) dying and me not being there to stop it like I always had before. "My reasons."

"I'll not need you to elaborate. It better carry you for something grueling."

"It will."

"Good," Bruce, replied. "You used to like physics, yes?"

"Uh right."

"You understand that what I'm about to do isn't a trick or an illusion or superhuman, truly, it's physics, force and mass and velocity. You reach the right acceleration with the right fulcrum and the stack will break."

"In theory, sure," I agreed. "But in practice, if you fuck up, I have to take you to the ER or whatever rich people go to."

"I have a personal physician."

Of course he did.

"Anyway, yeah, so in theory you'll be fine. In theory communism works too."

Bruce took his stance behind the blocks. Taking a deep breath, he practiced the arm motion a few times and then, very quickly especially for a human, he pulled back and struck. I blinked. All six were cracked completely. All six fucking blocks.

Wow, I really needed to go to Asia for seven years too.

"Oh man."

If it had even stung, Bruce didn't show it. He didn't smile or say thank you or acknowledge much at all had happened. "Your turn."

"It's not gonna break. I don't even know how."

He nodded and we spent two hours going through the motion. Thoughts of ever seeing Chloe as I had after Detroit and her saving Lex and me or as she'd been in my arms in the Phantom's visions, kept me concentrating and moving, even as I grew tired. Finally, Bruce demanded that I take my try. My one inch board compared to his stack of cinder block was pathetic, and not even close to what I once could have done. It still scared me a little. If I did this wrong my hand would be bruised for a long time to come.

"Clark, now."

Taking a deep breath, I brought my hand back and thought of Chloe, bringing it down in full force, no matter what my instincts were screaming about slowing down.

Something cracked and, when the board fell to the floor, I was relieved it hadn't been the bones in my hand.

Bruce was implacable as always, just set out another board. "Again, we have ten more hours."

I was lying on the sofa in Watchtower, a large bag of ice over my right shoulder. I hadn't hurt myself by missing my mark, but I'd made the same motion for over ten hours. I was sore, overworked, and tired. Bruce expected me up at six a.m. to start all over again. How he had done this for seven years in Bhutan in the snow-or so Chloe'd said-I'd never know. Maybe I did a little. I'd seen the person I loved most cold in my arms. That sort of thing...it does change people. It had made a complete psychological mess of both Oliver and Bruce in different ways, and being an orphan hadn't done wonders for me either.

Still, it was going to take a miracle to get me through two months of training with Mein Fuhrer.

I was half dozing, Lucky laying on my stomach, when soft fingers raked through my bangs. "Mom, you're in D.C. if you keep coming here, you're gonna get fired. It's only Tuesday."

"Clark?" Chloe asked, and she was grinning. Lucky, realizing his best gal-pal had come by, sat up and climbed her shoulder, letting her kiss his nose. "I missed you too, buddy. Are you keeping Clark company?" He chattered and she nodded as if she spoke lemur. "I see, yeah he does look tired, Lucky."

"Chloe?"

She shrugged and Lucky scattered off then to parts unknown. "I'm on my way home from The Journal . Oliver and I have this fundraiser thing in two hours, but-"

I smiled as she tossed me a large bag from Joel's Deli on Sixth. "Two ham and cheese sandwiches! And Gatorade. Thanks."

"You feeling okay?"

"I'm so sore."

"It'll get worse and then more worse."

"Wait, isn't the expression 'until it gets better?'"

"You don't know Bruce very well yet," she chuckled, patting my forehead. "Eat up and get good rest, you're going to have a long week."

"I...thanks, Chlo."

She nodded, "No problem, you'll have more fun napping here than I will all decked out in heels and binding gala close anyway."

"Yeah, uh, probably."

With that, she walked back out the door, leaving me to my food.

"Clark, honey, you're really stiff," Mom said as I eased down into my seat. I wished she hadn't made turkey. I had to slice that. Maybe she could blend that and the potatoes into a smoothie. I know that sounds gross, but it was still more appealing than moving my arms was.

I had seven more weeks of this.

Would it be unmanly to curl up on my bed here and cry a little?

Ugh, no, Bruce would never do that. Somehow, Chloe didn't seem like she would have either during her time with Mein Fuhrer either. Couldn't cry if Chloe hadn't. Double ugh.

"Bruce is intense," I said, forgoing manners and just picking up the meat. Mom was about to say something when J'onn coughed and I could tell she let it slide then. Oh also ugh. "So, uh, J'onn's been out of town this week, which is new. Ah, were you visiting mom?"

"Overnight, all night," Conner snapped.

"Conner Kent, room, now," Mom said.

I noticed he hadn't even served his plate. He'd planned whatever it took to get away from me. Ouch.

"Fine, mom," there was a breeze and no Conner. Now that I'd been sped off on a lot in the last about seven weeks, I could conclusively say it sucked.

"I...huh...so how are the potatoes, J'onn?"

"You're not comfortable."

"You're doing that reading thing!"

He rolled his eyes. "I can read facial expressions, Kal-El. I'm sorry. It's not like I'm moving from Metropolis. I just like your mother's company very much."

"EVERY NIGHT!" Conner shouted from above us.

Mom excused herself to have a talk with him.

It left me to tap my fingers on the table and avoid eye contact with J'onn as I spoke. "What are, um, your intentions? Lionel was just creepy with her. Perry swore he wasn't thinking anything long term and that he wasn't trying to replace my dad. What's your angle? I have to say this comes completely out of nowhere."

"I'm not sure yet. Trying to be a 'father' at this point would be stupid. Conner's grown and considers it Tess mainly who raised him as are you. I had my own family, once, and I certainly don't think your mother is ready even now for something permanent after she and Perry didn't last. It's nice."

"That's something. I just...my mom?"

"She's a very amazing woman."

"Apparently billionaires, editors, and aliens. She runs a gamut."

"Are you mad because I'm not human-hypocritical, Kal-El-or are you mad because I'm not Jonathan?"

"I'm frustrated because I just...why does everything even have to change. I figured after Perry, she'd just realize that she's a widow and it's time to just not ever have a boyfriend again."

"That's not very mature of you. Your mother's fifty, not dead, Clark."

"But dad-"

"You buried him," mom said and I noticed J'onn standing up and clearing his and Conner's places. She was walking back to the table and, after giving J'onn's arm a tight squeeze, sat down across from me. "If you can move on however you please, including selling the farm and destroying his watch, then why is this different?"

"Martha, Kal-El," J'onn said and then headed into the kitchen.

I sighed and set the turkey down. "I did everything wrong. I just...it's hard for me that you've dated at least two other guys now and I know it hurts you that I sold the farm and got rid of his watch without asking. I...is this burying dad?"

"I'd never pretend your father didn't exist. I loved him. Clark, he was the love of my life and no one's ever going to replace that, you know?"

"I do, I just...a coworker?"

"He's older and more a mentor and saved your life more than once. I think those are all good things."

"True, I just hate you're mad at me. I hate that you spent a month punishing me."

"You lied by omission on so many things and I don't know how to make you see how terrible that is. I won't lie to you back, but you have to understand, especially now that you can be hurt that you can't lie. If you have a cold, tell people. If you get hurt, tell us. You have to be honest because you can die."

"A lot of people can. Hell, Zod killed me just last year really."

"No cheats, Clark. It's very different. I can't...I lost your father and I won't lose you. It shouldn't be as scary now that Jor-El's out of our lives and your destiny but now you're choosingto fight even when you can be killed and that scares me more than anything. We're all we have really, the two of us and now your brother."

"Or mini-me," I said ruefully.

She nodded and took my hand, giving it a squeeze. "I love you, and I'll do anything to protect you."

"I know, Red Queen and the VRA push proved that to me even if I didn't already know that. I'm sorry."

"All I wanted and I should have told you sooner J'onn and I were more than friends, Clark. I'll let you know more about my relationships."

"Uh, no details are not that needed, just some updates in status are fine," I stammered.

"Good, do you want to finish eating the dinner or go straight to pie?"

"Pie please," I said. "And, uh, mom, don't squeeze that hand. It spent the last four days breaking boards. I can't even feel it."

"So, mom sent me up with a whole apple pie for you, that metabolism thing," I said, sitting down outside Conner's locked door. I set the pie to my left.

"Go away!"

"I'm not, you know. You can't make me move. I mean, yeah, you could, but mom would get upset so no you actually can't. You have to hear me out and I know you can even if I were at the White House so deal."

"I hate you."

"That says a lot on many Freudian levels."

"I mean it."

"Oh I believe you mean it. The stuff you said was not untrue and it was very cutting; I earned it. Conner, I loved Tess very much. I mean, not the way she seemed to have hoped, but the way I care about Oliver or J'onn, you know? She was a member of the team and she was a great one and a good friend. It hurts all of us that we lost her. We should have had our cells on, I get that."

"Damn right."

"But, she had this in her head. She knew she was going on a suicide mission when she took the serum from Cadmus. That the only way to get close enough to Lex would be to let herself be stabbed. She knew if anyone were going to take Lex like that, it had to be her."

"But she-"

"She didn't even do it just for me, Conner. She did it for you too because Lex would know about both of us, would know how to kill us. He'd hunt you down after he took care of me and he'd have killed you too if he remembered. She wanted to keep you safe."

Silence on the other side. "I...I know. She didn't have to do it!"

"She wanted to, and she hid where she was going after she escaped Cadmus. I don't want us to hate each other or, well, you to hate me cause it ruins half of what she gave us."

More silence then the knob turning and Conner sitting on his side of the doorway, not even touching the pie yet. "You hurt her. Why would you hurt her?"

"I wasn't a very good person for a long time. You weren't wrong. I didn't deserve what I have. Kara does. You do, so far, you have a clean slate from everything that happened with Alexander. Use them better than I did mine."

"I...okay. Clark?"

"Yeah?"

"Mom says I can't come stay in Metropolis while you train cause I'd distract you with Bruce, but if you have time off, can we still hang out? I can come by Watchtower if you have weekends. I...soon I'd like to visit her."

I didn't need him to clarify which her.

I pushed the pie pan toward him and nodded. "I'd like that a lot, mini-me, I really would."


	20. Chapter 20

I was so sore when J'onn dropped me off at Watchtower. Yeah, he did that. No fireman's carry. No, not that that would have been wrong per say but, look, you afford plane tickets and talk to me about dignity. Huh, that's what I thought. It was just more convenient, especially with my schedule in life, for J'onn to take me back on Sunday night so that I could be home in time for six a.m. training with Bruce across town from the Watchtower.

It's a little awkward to be carried by another guy, I'm not going to lie, and I am tall enough that even infinite strength and being naturally seven feet tall (in J'onn's case) makes it hard for me to be sped around. Conner was far too short to ever try it without getting tangled in my limbs but J'onn managed. I thanked him and he went back to his own apartment in Metropolis, apparently his visit to see mom (ick) was over for the weekend.

I was grateful for that.

I was trying to get used to mom being a grown up with a life of her own. I get it. I'm twenty-four and grown and, rationally, I know mom's not ancient or dead or anything but it was so hard to think about her and dad ever having...um, you know...let alone her and J'onn. If you got technical about it, I am adopted. Maybe mom and dad had never even! Maybe she was a nun. Yeah, a nice nun and never even had heard of the things I was trying not to let invade my mind.

Yeah and maybe I'd fly today.

Sighing, I crawled up the stairs and slipped into bed, not even bothering to do more than unzip my jeans and shuck them off on the way to the mattress. There was a rustling of cloth and my "boyfriend" Lucky was sleeping on the pillow across from mine. I'd given up on keeping him away from me and it's not like he had fleas or anything, was maybe a little cleaner than I was until the shampoo Emil prescribed killed all my dandruff. Besides, he had bitten Ollie that one time and it was pretty funny. It'd be hysterical, actually, if the thought of only having a lemur to defend my honor hadn't been so damn pathetic.

Sighing, I gave Lucky a quick pat on the haunch. It was already ten and my alarm would sound far too soon.

When I got into the training hall that Bruce had set up in his main office building in Metropolis, the one where my office was located about five floors underground, he was in his gear but not already stretching. Considering I'd overslept because even Lucky licking me in the face hadn't been enough to get me to roll over until six-thirty (stupid cell phone was supposed to go off), he should have been further along in his routine.

Or maybe he was going to kill me.

That could happen too. On the plus side, if he killed me, I didn't have to train for twelve hours today and make my arm feel like jelly. That was probably a win-win scenario for both of us, now that I thought about it.

"Bruce? Hey, uh," I said, floundering as I stepped into the make-shift dojo. "I don't have a good excuse for why I'm going to die or run laps or die then run laps."

"I'll think of something suitable after our session, believe me," he replied, still sitting against the wall by the mats. "It's still only seven fifteen. We can salvage most of the day and stay late before J'onn and I have patrol tonight."

"Cool."

"Don't do it again."

"I won't," I agreed, setting my gym bag on the floor. "So, though, even if I'm late and it's my bad and everything is there a reason why you haven't started yet for yourself."

Bruce nodded and sighed. "Clark, what do you remember about your parents?"

I blinked. People didn't ask me about my birth parents. Even after that weird version of Jor-El had been murdered, Chloe hadn't mentioned him, not wanting me to be further hurt with any prodding. Truthfully, after everything with Zor-El's crystal, I should have known better. The Lara and Jor-El I'd met these last few years were clones. They were no more my parents than Conner was Lex Luthor back when he'd still had all of the other man's memories. It wasn't equivalent. Eventually life experiences diverged and just having the imprint wasn't enough.

Still, mom didn't like talking about it. She didn't discourage me from it, exactly, about my life from before, but I knew it made her sad to discuss that I wasn't from here, that I'd not always belonged to her and dad. After the repeated clone debacles, Chloe didn't ask or press either. Lois had assumed that me making nice with the Fortress was the same as me really getting to reconcile with my father. I'd never understood that. She'd been very close with mom and dad, had lived here, and served as dad's campaign manager. Sheknew that my father was and had always been Jonathan Kent.

Of course, with me burying watches and avoiding talking about him at all this last year, maybe I'd helped give her the wrong impression.

"Clark?"

"I...you don't mean mom and dad, do you? I mean, the Kents."

Bruce shook his head. "No, obviously since you just came back from Washington, you remember your mother very well."

"Wow, was that a joke? Do you need to stay seated?"

He didn't laugh but he did quirk up one corner of his mouth. Huh, maybe he wasn't a complete robot after all. "I'll be fine. I was curious. Do you remember anything from before?"

"From Krypton?" I prodded, staying upright and beginning to stretch, giving myself something to do besides look at him directly. "I didn't for a very long time, no. I mean, mom says I babbled a lot as a kid, stuff she and dad had to wait and teach me not to say in front of other people before I could go to town. It obviously wasn't in English."

"Well I knew you spoke it."

"No, uh, that came from this download from the Artificial Intelligence version of Jor-El, my 'father.' I was three when I got here. Whatever I knew when I was just a kid, faded pretty fast over the first year. I know I had nightmares a lot and I still have a nightlight even at the 'Tower. I don't think I'll ever completely get over having spent so long alone in the dark."

"Your ship."

"Right. Like I say, it was impressions and things in the back of my mind. However, mom still says that I said 'Lara,' that was my birth mom's name, a lot the first year, enough that even she assumed it meant 'mother.' Not that it was a proper name but the context for it was obvious."

"You called her that."

I blushed and started to stretch out my quad by pulling my foot behind me. "Yeah. Like that."

"But you remember Lara and Jor-El now?"

"Kind of? I have to give you and Diana like a cliff's notes version of the last ten years. When I was seventeen I got tricked into experimental memory therapy and it unlodged one thing from before about my parents. I...uh...the other stuff is because my culture was apparently good at cloning things and a few have made it this far by various means. I don't really want to talk about that. I love Conner. He's a good mini-me but he's not actually me. The Lara and Jor-El I've met aren't really the real ones anyway."

"I see," he said, his tone noncommittal and, ironically, he might have made a good therapist.

"But yeah, the one real memory I have of my birth parents, they seemed very nice for what it was worth. I must have been very small, maybe eight or nine months, maybe not. Lara was very pretty and even then I couldn't get out of my head how blonde she was, which is ironic, cause I'm just not fair. They just seemed, I dunno, oddly calm when the apocalypse was happening, maybe cause they knew I was gonna live, I'm not sure."

"Go on."

"I...they just were worrying about if I'd turn out okay all the way here," I finished, never wanting to reveal Lara's actual fear was that no one would ever love me.

I know that wasn't true, at all. My parents loved me very much. My friends were good people and cared. Alicia and Tess, in their own ways and even if I'd been pretty oblivious to Tess's feelings, had loved me, protected my secret. Despite the ups and downs and their own faults, I knew that even Lana and Lois cared a lot for me. I still hoped Chloe was right on some level, that Lois's rejection was about her own issues and neuroses and not about me as a person (term used broadly). Still, mortal or not now, I was going to face a long time alone, watching the people I cared about and my allies pair off, while I just wasn't going to, had run my luck, such as it was out.

For not the first time, I wondered what the Hell my birth parents had been thinking by sending me somewhere I'd be so alone.

"But," Bruce answered, breaking me out oh my thoughts. "That's all you legitimately remember of them?"

"Not counting clones, basically. It's not much, the impression I have of the real them. I...did Chloe explain about the archive I had in the Arctic? I mean, yeah, it's still there but it won't have anything to do with me. It's part artificial intelligence and now that I have no abilities, it's done dealing with me."

"I see."

"I...uh, it's not a bad archive, per say," I hedged, not sure how someone as, well, paranoid as Bruce would do with the concept of me having once had something that called itself a "fortress." "We have a checkered past so I'm not surprised Jor-El's AI version cut me off. I mean, when I think of my birth father it's really hard not to confuse him with the AI, which wasn't really very nice to me ever."

"Define 'nice.'"

"It used to abuse me a lot. It did something to my dad that weakened his heart and it did kill him, just took over two years for that to happen. There's no love lost between it, exactly, but for some idiot reason this year I was trying to be nicer to it. I took Lois there when we were about to go down the aisle."

Shit had that only been what? Seven weeks ago? I was losing track of where were heading into July, everything a blur now of training and exhaustion. Maybe it was eight?

"So the AI managed to hurt you and lead to your father's death but you took Lois to it for its approval?" Bruce was again implacable and neutral, whatever his real judgement on the matter a secret only for him to know.

I appreciated that.

"I can't explain a lot of what I've been thinking lately. I just...the archive had holograms of my real mom and dad and I got to see them in November and I just...it felt like them a lot. I just, you're not tricking me right?"

"How?"

"Um, I dunno, just don't tell mom. I don't want her to feel bad. I love her like crazy-even when she is punishing me-really I do love her."

"But?"

"I wish I'd gotten to know my birth parents, especially Lara, better. Maybe I was hoping the archive and the Jor-El AI would show me more holograms if I were nicer to it. I don't even know. I haven't made one decent decision in at least two years."

"I'm not your confessor."

"Then why did you ask?" I inquired, taking a breath and beginning to run through my warm up stances. Bruce came to join me and we went through the positions side by side.

"You confuse me."

"It's the alien thing right? People get confused by that. Hell, I get confused by that."

"Not exactly and not the way you're assuming. I just have a difficult time getting a read on you. That rarely happens to me. Like I said, I didn't expect an orphan of a dead planet to have much hope in anything."

"Well, first," I said, tone clipped, as we moved into a bit of careful sparring, mostly me doing the moves on Bruce awkwardly as if he were a sub in dummy and him blocking me. "I didn't know I was from anywhere special until I was fourteen. Second, my planet is Earth, thank you very much. Third, like I said, I don't...yeah what happened to Krypton sucks and it could be used as a warning to other places that could blow themselves up too. I do get that."

"But?"

"I think people on Earth are better than that. For a while, with the VRA stuff, I was worried I was wrong but there are a lot more people out there who have hope and believe in things than you'd think."

"I suppose," Bruce said, ducking as I swung at him. "But you're awfully young."

"I'm twenty-four!"

"And I'm over thirty and have seen corruption in some of the poorest countries there are. Humans aren't as good as you think we are."

"Oh, I'm not an idiot. I mean I know there are Lex Luthors and Hitlers and whatever out there. I get that. I just think people, in general, are good."

"You have time yet to adjust that notion," Bruce said, his own feelings on the matter creeping in as we circled each other. "Besides, deep down, you must not really believe it."

"Oh?" I said, dodging a kick. "How so?"

"If you'd really felt like you could trust humans, you'd have told them who you really were instead of being so much in the shadows for three years."

"Maybe," I said, annoyed I didn't have a real answer for that. "Why all the parents talk? I know you remember yours."

"Of course I do, even if it's tinted with the perspective and nostalgia of an eight year old."

"Better than vague impressions of an infant," I countered, going through the blocks I'd learned as Bruce slowly aimed specific types of blows my way. He wasn't aiming to hit hard and I knew he wanted me to just keep getting the motions right.

"True, but it's never been a secret that's why I started doing this. They keep me going."

"I figured," I replied, now my turn to be neutral.

"In the beginning," Bruce amended. "There are other losses that strengthen my resolve."

"Uh, Ms. Dawes, right? The A.D.A from Gotham who-"

He nodded and this time he swung wide without me having to block at all. "It's not even been a year, no. Mistakes will drive you too."

"Made plenty of those and not just ones that backfired on me," I admitted, bringing up my arm to stop a strike. "I...no, the answer is that nothing about my birth parents or Krypton drives me. They happened, they saved my life, I love them for that and from what I can remember, but they're just not mom and dad and they're not going to be."

"Then what drives you?"

"We're not friends enough yet to talk about it," I said, grabbing his leg out of mid air as he kicked (again, I knew it was humoring me, that I was practicing techniques with him only). "Maybe one day."

"Then I hope it's enough."

"It will be."

He nodded and I didn't even register what happened but was on my damn back again. I was beginning to get used to having my ass handed to me.

Almost.

"Two hours over, Clark, and yes, an hour of that will be the treadmill on hills. If you have a tendency to oversleep, set more than one clock. You won't like what happens if you're late again."

Yeah, now that was the Bruce I knew.

"Ollie, what's up? Can your wife come down and play?" I said, rocking back and forth on my heels on the other side of his hotel room door.

He nodded. "I deserved that for being paranoid last week."

"She's not in is she?"

"She and Diana did a late dinner. She'll be home in probably twenty minutes. Should I send her down to the well-lit bar with lots of witnesses to have an after dinner drink with you? I know you'll never touch more than probably ginger ale until you turn sixty."

"Maybe seventy," I admitted. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, no. It's just that what can I say? If the situation were reversed, and I had a friend with a history of interrupting weddings or of trying to, I'd at least have asked the obvious question."

Oliver sighed and let me in finally, and I took a seat at the stool by the kitchen counter. "I'm not...you do understand my side in it. You're all she ever thought about for like a decade, Clark, and you admitted you're in love with her. This is beyond a guy's worst nightmare."

"It's...I try not and hurt my two best friends, Ollie. We're all in a weird place. We're trying not to even see each other unless someone else is a buffer. She's not like that. You know Chloe's the most faithful person on Earth. We're not making out in coat closets."

"I know. You're just better than I am."

I sighed and took off my glasses, rubbing them on the hem of my t-shirt (yes, I had changed and showered after training). "That's just agree that we're in a really shitty situation because JLA stuff comes first and trying to get me up to some kind of speed and figure out where Granny's lurking take the precedent. Like I said, you never broke her heart. See that you never do and you have nothing to worry from me."

Oliver nodded and shook my hand after I'd put my glasses back on. "Thanks man, I'll send her down."

I was sitting by the piano player, sipping on a club soda and eating a few Marachino cherries, being an overall wild and crazy guy, when Chloe sat down across from me at the table. She was beaming. God she looked pretty when she smiled.

"Hey Clark!"

"What's up?"

"Guess who had Diana go to a crowded restaurant, get whistled at-no didn't plan it-and she didn't even get up from her chair!"

"You?"

"Yes, this is great progress. No one ended up in a body cast!"

"And it only took two months. She may be ready for our culture soon," I drawled. "That's good. If only guys were not so stupid."

"Yeah, testosterone or whatever in your case, makes you all stupid."

"Or set stuff on fire with our eyes," I joked weakly, thinking of Conner.

"Too true, but I am on a high, no one got the shit kicked out of him at least tonight. What about you? You seem even more stiff than usual."

"Ugh, my alarm didn't go off and then Bruce made me stay over two hours and run laps essentially. I'm going to hate myself in the morning."

"Don't be late. Bruce doesn't do late. I'll call you at five-thirty and make sure you got up."

"Every morning?"

"Meh, I'll be up anyway to get some of my own sparring with Ollie in before I shower for work. It's not a big deal."

"Oh."

"Yup. The last thing we need if for Bruce to make you do push-ups until you keel over."

"That was my thought on it. Actually, though, today was pretty good. We didn't even start seriously for a few minutes after I got there."

"Are you sure it was Bruce and that some weird space parasite didn't get to him?"

"Ha-ha," I said chomping into another cherry. God I loved those things. "It was Bruce. He, uh, had some questions for me."

"Like?" she asked, taking a second away from me to order herself a diet Coke.

I waited for the waitress to be out of earshot from us and lowered my voice. "About my birth parents and what I remembered from Krypton."

She quirked her head at me as she tried to understand, probably uncover the Bruce-logic. "Oh."

"I think, I dunno exactly what I think. I assume a lot of it was an orphans' club thing, does that even make sense? I don't think it's hard to get that Bruce seeing his parents get shot at eight really messed him up."

"No shit."

"I think for a while he just assumed me being from a planet that's not a planet anymore drove me a lot in my training goals."

She frowned. "Doesn't it?"

"Um, huh?"

"No, it's not about you being well alienish," she said, rolling her eyes. "Please known you forever now. I just mean, a lot of stuff that gets loose does come from Krypton or the Phantom Zone. Because people like Fine or Zod were gunning for you since we were like freaking eighteen, well, it's opened both our perspectives. We know there are things out there that cops and the army and regular people just would never be able to stop but someone has to."

"Well yeah and that's a big reason why I can't just retire. I can't do what Conner can anymore, but it's not like I don't have a decade's worth of experience with the bullshit anyway. I know threats like that aren't logically gonna stop just because I'm not, uh, super so to speak."

She snorted. "I have no idea what other-me was thinking. Yeah on Eric for The Ledger it sounded fine but everyday at the DP? Sounds like I'm about five."

"Yes, that's the big thing wrong about the universe imploding where I was the world's superhero and the DP wasn't apparently a bastion of evil and you were the reporter there. I just, sure, Chlo."

"Point," she said tightly. "But, yeah, the fact that every extraterrestrial big bad in twenty-eight galaxies has been coming here for six years to cause trouble, that'd be very motivating."

"But I think he wanted me to say that because Krypton died and basically killed itself that that'd be my reasoning because I must think humans are going to self destruct."

"Yeah, I wonder how any guy who worked for three years at The Daily Planet , listening to the police bands in a major American city wouldn't think we were more than hugs and puppies."

"Well, duh, but you're...we're...fuck it, humans aren't bad as a default setting. Zod and Brainiac got loose and did some horrible things. It doesn't mean we were always on track to destroy ourselves. Same here. People are genuinely good."

She laughed. "I don't know how you can stop muggings and rapes and bank robberies and drug deals every night, night after night, and tell me that with a straight face."

"I don't know why you and Bruce and probably Ollie think humans are that bad."

"Not to pull my 'I was born one' card out on you, Clark, but I mean, I guess I know the snotty, awful things I'm tempted to do every day just to make my life easier. I know the kind of bitch I was at fifteen. I really don't believe humans are noble, just pretty brutal really."

"None taken. I just...I'd prefer to believe that say, most people, if they found a wallet with the name in it would return it or if they heard someone scream for help, they'd come. I'd rather believe that and sometimes be let down than be cynical and barely ever surprised."

She nodded and took another sip. "Well, forgive me, I was always a reporter. I've seen corruption scandals afoot since I was eight. Clark, it's admirable that you always want to believe the best in everyone, usually."

"Exactly."

"But Bruce is gonna come from the opposite side. I don't think you can tell him that humans are basically good after what he saw. He was so very little."

"Did you go?"

"To?"

"The funeral? Did your dad go?"

"Yeah, all of us went, mom too because she wasn't sick yet. I was like almost three. I don't remember much but it being really, really cold. It was like November and Bruce didn't stay for the wake after he got a hug from Rachel and her mom. He just hid in his room."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it's not like I visited a ton, just sometimes. It happened as a kid, but I hadn't seen Bruce until recently, I dunno, maybe the summer you were in Metropolis? I had a few weeks between the internship and school starting back up and I went to Gotham just to see him before his first year at Princeton business school. Um, obviously, he didn't go. I've got experience with guys I know going off the grid."

"Duly noted."

"Yeah. I don't even think Alfred knew where he'd gone, just hoped for all those years he wasn't dead."

"Definitely. I just...dad didn't always believe the best in the Luthors and I guess he was right sometimes about it, Tess and half of Conner notwithstanding. In general, though, he was an optimist, mom too. I might be from a place that ended up dying out and, yeah, that colors a lot of how I think but not that people just go around tending to ruin everything."

"It's a good way to see things. I just can't after my mom and I don't think Bruce can after his parents. Being abandoned or died on does a number on a kid."

"I guess I never felt that way. I mean, yeah, I knew by the time I was ten and we did this like tongue rolling experiment in science class that I was adopted."

"Smallville science, only the latest from a century before," she snarked. "That whole 'ways to see what parent you get stuff from' like attached earlobes and chin clefts?"

"Yeah, I can't roll my tongue at all-no I don't think it's a Kryptonian thing-but mom and dad both can. That plus not looking a thing like them and they had to explain it to me. I just I had an amazing dad and I have a mom I love even if she has the whole JLA scared of her."

"She does indeed."

"Lara and Jor-El saved me and I wouldn't exist without them. I love them but it's not the same thing. They're not my default 'real parents.'"

"Bruce and Diana will pick up on that, I'm sure. I just...are you sure that's exactly how it is?"

"Yeah, mom's my mom, except maybe when she's paying for lobster room service for Conner to dig in that knife."

"That was pretty funny," Chloe admitted. Traitor.

"But of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Lois and I always called each other even when I was living with Ollie in Star City. I know that you took her to meet Jor-El and that's how she got your powers in the first place."

"Flashing neon lights there that the mortal version would never be enough."

"Of course you're enough. Lois just wants something to make her good enough to Uncle Sam's impossible standards. I just...Jor-El, Clark? He branded you and brainwashed you and stole your powers and froze you and-"

"Killed dad, I know. I just...mom knew already and approved and I just thought it would be appropriate."

"And stole the suit and released you from your destiny and-"

"I get it."

"Probably fried Kara and stranded her in Detroit that one time and almost murdered me and-"

"Alright! I get it," I said, looking down at the table cloth. "It was stupid."

"You can have two sets of parents. No one's harshing that. Martha wouldn't harsh on Lara ever. However, the AI isn't your father or Jor-El or any of it. The AI's a psychotic asshole."

"True," I replied, blushing a little. "And it of course did another stupid test that almost got people killed. I don't miss 'dad,' no."

"Then why did you take her?"

"I've been trying to deal better with the AI. It did save your life and your mind with Brainiac. I...it has access to holograms and recordings of the real Lara and Jor-El. It seemed much more tolerant to Kara. I don't even have answers sometimes for half the shit I do. I just the human side more than approved. Mom and Lois were super close."

"Yup all that working together stuff back earlier in your mom's career."

"But, I just felt the Kryptonian half should too and Kara wasn't around. It was stupid. Like I said, it backfired and Jor-El's cut me off for being broken anyway."

Chloe sighed and squeezed my hand. "You're not broken. You just can't speed around the world in under five minutes."

"For me, that is broken," I said, sighing and not looking at her for a very long time after, letting the weight of that sink in for her.

It had been almost two months since I'd lost my powers and, no, I wasn't going to die from their loss. I was going to find a way to make a human life and career and hopefully, with Bruce's training, impact on the League as a mortal. It still didn't mean I was deeply injured, hadn't gone through what to a human would have been a paralysis or worse.

Probably worse because my senses and my mind were no longer what they had been either.

"And I'm not trying to diminish that. I'm not, but you, Clark Kent as a person aren't broken. Yeah, your powers aren't there but you're still-"

"Yeah a 'nice guy,' and all that. You and Diana say that, that I have a lot of potential even if I'm mortal. Sometimes I think you're just being nice."

"I don't think we are."

I shrugged. "I just, the point was that Bruce made me think about my birth parents which I hadn't really done in a while. I mean not the real ones as opposed to clones or crazy extraterrestrial computers. I've been thinking about Jor-El a lot, actually."

"Because he can't fix you."

"Yeah, and I wish he could, more than you know."

"Like I said, your relationship with Jor-El especially-AI, clone, original recipe, take your pick-is very complex and you have to have seen it unfold to get how confusing it is. I had a front seat and even I don't know what the Hell the Fortress is thinking about 95% of the time."

"Exactly," I sighed, not sure if I should say this next part.

I was putting Chloe in this weird place. I was her best friend, sure, but friends, even might-have-been lovers, were one thing. Lois and Chloe were practically sister and blood family. Lois had been at the hospital the day Chloe was born, so they'd literally been in each other's lives for almost twenty-five years. I didn't want to do anything to make Chloe like her cousin less or ever force her to choose between us as Lois and I were growing apart.

Despite our incredibly complex relationship, I wasn't her blood, and I didn't know if she'd put Lois over me or not.

Best not to press it.

"What?"

"You trailed off."

"I...this isn't...I don't think she meant it. I think she was stressed and upset when your uncle just invited himself to Thanksgiving and showed up. I really do. But she and I were fighting about her insane need to please Sam even when he can be almost as unreasonable as the AI, you know?"

"Definitely. I love my uncle, but I don't like him all that much."

"Right, so she said 'You don't understand what it's like, Clark, you never had parents.'"

Chloe's jaw dropped. "Was she high at the time? Was she smoking some weed I didn't know you kept on the farm. She lived there for over a year. She liked Mr. Kent a lot and knows Martha. How could she even say that?"

"Dad stress, I'm sure. The General was being particularly obnoxious that week."

It was some sort of test for Lois, not even for me, and, now that I thought of it, he and Jor-El in the Arctic could hang out and test their kids more. Games should just not be a part of parenting, very Lionel Luthor 101.

"She shouldn't have said that Clark. I know she was stressed and I know that her dad has always and will always get to her like mom does for me, but that wasn't nice. It...well it shows a scary lack of understanding for who you are. She lived with your family, like a sister at first. How could she even think on the fly they weren't your parents."

"Flashy alien homeworld stuff," I said flippantly. "I only told her the week before about being an alien. I think she wasn't quite understanding what that meant."

Chloe sighed. "I love Lois more than anyone in the world, even my dad since he's been so absentee since the safehouse stuff."

"I know."

"However, I'm gonna get my sister card revoked because the more I see it, the more I realize that you two weren't meant to be. She does care about you, I know she does, but she wasn't ready to get married and I don't think she understood you well enough, that you were still that guy she first met, well after the brainwash wore off, even if there was the Kryptonian stuff. I don't know how she didn't get it, but she didn't."

"Probably still doesn't quite. I get it. I'm complicated. I don't get me half the time. No hard feelings. I just...yeah, that felt like I'd been slapped. She was pretty into pleasing Jor-El and fixing up our 'relationship.' There's not much to fix when he ruined dad's heart and branded me like cattle. I mean useful coexistence was about what we could have ever achieved."

"On a good day," Chloe conceded. "You're just you."

"Very prosaic."

"I meant," she said, blushing. "that it's not about powers or where you were from or what you used to be able to do. You're that kid from the loft with too many books, always have been, always will be."

"Yeah but you see that and Alicia basically, even if she wasn't terribly stable. Mom understands and Kara did because she spent a lot of time getting from me that I wasn't all that into Krypton stuff the way she was...is."

"We'll figure out when she went eventually."

"Hope so. Conner and I...the world now...we could really use her."

"I know," Chloe replied, letting me gather my thoughts.

Kara was the last of us and her not being here when I was hurt felt wrong. If she'd gone to help the Legion then who even knew what happened to her when the timeline imploded. There had to be a way to find her, but I had to make myself useful first and then stop Granny and possibly Darkseid. Too much to do even as just a guy.

"I just get that people aren't going to get me and most if they knew about that 'while he walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but he isn't a duck' part of my life wouldn't bother."

"Quack-quack," she deadpanned. "Maybe, maybe not. I just wish I'd really been here last year, really understood that Lois wasn't ready and didn't get it yet or might not ever. I wouldn't have pushed her so hard the day you got well-"

"Not married?" Permanently handicapped.

"Yeah, that. I thought you needed her."

"You can love someone or at least thing you do and not need them," I conceded. "Who knew?"

"I should have. I just wanted you to be happy."

"Then that's how I feel about you and Ollie. Glad you got what you deserved, Chlo."

She forced herself to smile. "Me too. I...we've not always been so good to each other."

"Happens when you go through being fifteen together. No one can be a reasonable teenager. They do not exist."

"True. I just, you are more than what you could do before and where you were born, Clark."

"Well, maybe once, now I'm just a guy," I said, checking my watch. "It's already ten p.m. and Mein Fuhrer has me up at five or so."

"I'll call!"

"Thanks mom. Me and my ability to move my legs thank you," I finished whipping out my wallet. She held up her hand and shook her head. Oliver has a tab, really, don't worry."

Right, Ollie had everything covered, whether I liked that or not.

"See this is fun, right?" I said, jogging next to Diana.

I had Wednesday off. I had to go to my day job and work on designs and thoughts on the clock, but I only had the nine to five and nothing else grueling yet. I figured Bruce did that because no one could run all out at first seven days a week. The reasoning, I didn't care about a lot. As long as I had some time not to be breaking boards or thrown on my back, that was better. Besides, I was helping Chloe with her socialize Diana project.

Part one was how Diana was supposed to act with another woman, even if both of them got heckled or worse.

I was more what happened when guys got territorial or pig-headed in front of a "date-type person." It was really, if you thought about it, a public service to Bruce so she didn't go to a cocktail party some day and embarrass him. We were slowly getting Diana to understand that in our world, especially because of her looks, she was going to have to grin and bear being treated sometimes without the respect she received from her own people. Yeah, it did suck, but her breaking the wrist of every creep in Metropolis wasn't the way to change that.

It was after work and she and I were running through Central Park together. Naturally, she was humoring me and keeping to my pace. I really appreciated that.

"It's pleasant, Kal, yes. Are you alright?"

I sighed and wiped at my brow. We were on mile two. Bruce wanted at least three, if not four. I was sort of getting into a rhythm for the final third. "Yup, perfectly normal, uh, for other people."

She grinned. "Like goddesses."

"Yeah, uh, so how does that work exactly?"

"My mother made me from clay."

"You don't say. That's...wow."

"As unusual occurrence around here as crashing from the stars."

"Like that, although, clay, huh," I scratched at my nose, glad the strap held so well. "I guess you should be excited you didn't burst forth from your father's head or something."

"Well-read."

"From Kansas, not backwards," I corrected, shrugging. "Ooh or from sea foam. Clay's better than sea froth."

"I think so," she said, lengthening her stride a bit. "How are you doing?"

"Well I'm what? Nine days in to Mein Fuhrer's regime."

"Bruce is not so bad."

"Uh-huh," I drawled. "I'm nine days into it and not dead yet so maybe he's not trying hard enough."

"You do very well, Kal. A lesser man, which is sometimes redundant-"

"Diana!"

"A lesser man would have quit, said he'd served his conscription,, and that someone else could take up the fight."

"I'm not."

"Apparently. I understand."

"It's not about honor or anything."

She shook her head as we rounded a corner, heading into the straightaway where portrait artists, bead makers, and other plied their wares. "A true warrior does not fight merely for honor."

"Oh."

"She fights because it is both the proper thing to do and because they are fighting to save something they love. You fight because if you don't learn to adapt it'll leave the world you love vulnerable, your mother and your 'younger brother.'"

"Yes."

"Because Chloe fights and you can't sit back and watch her do the dangerous things when you're not."

"I..."

"I am not obtuse about all things, Kal. I can see more than people think, more than Bruce does sometimes. I know what drives you and I do think she'll be enough, along with your family. We're all, even Bruce, hoping you'll make this transition and stay as good at it as you have been so far."

"I suck at being mortal."

"So do most mortals," she countered. "I was not put up to this but on your days off, after a run, would you like to also train?"

"Will I be able to move my arms?"

"No with hand-to-hand. Weaponry. The bo perhaps?"

"I...yeah, that'd be kind of cool. I can't handle only being a pepper spray guy."

"Good, I can also ask Chloe to join both of us. She understands tasers. It might be good if you become adept at them as well, get a license."

"Probably," I said, spying something and stumbling to a stop. Diana's hand was on my shoulder instantly. "Kal? Are you alright?"

I nodded and sighed, gesturing to where one vendor was boxing up memorabilia for The Blur and putting up merchandise for Wonder Woman instead. Since The Blur had disappeared last May, obviously a new heroine had risen in his place. I didn't bear any grudges to Diana for it. If it weren't for her strength, Darkseid would have brought hell on Earth. Game over. Still, it hurt to realize how fast I was being replaced, cast aside. It wasn't an ego thing, completely, but I had been their hero once and now, even if I became suitable like Chloe was in combat or even one day as good at Oliver, I'd never be the world's hero as I'd come close to being, as Chloe had once foreseen.

That hurt.

"Kal?"

"Yeah, Diana, I'm fine. Let's finish the lap. I suddenly want to get home to Watchtower a lot."


	21. Chapter 21

It was the twentieth of July already. I hadn't even started training with Bruce and then Diana until at least six weeks after my not-a-wedding. Still, it was weird to stand there in my bathroom, blinking back at the calendar and realizing that it was this late into the summer. I didn't like it. I was getting better, really I was. In the three weeks with Bruce, I was getting to the point where I was breaking two boards stacked. I'd tried for a third on Thursday and, as a result, had my hand bruise badly when it didn't work. I was doing training currently this week that gave it as much rest as possible. Last week, Diana had started me with the bo and I was learning to just basically pass it back and forth in front of my body, get acquainted with controlling it and using it as an extension of myself before she and I got into combat with each other.

Hell, tomorrow night, she was going to humor me while Chloe came over to teach me how to properly operate a taser on the poor, battered dummy Bruce had made. I was learning. I hadn't yet gone back out on a patrol since Chloe and Ollie had stopped taking me, realizing I needed a faster catch up before I'd be safe to myself and to others, but I could tell in a week, maybe a little more that time was coming.

And yet, Granny was out there, planning for something and she was far smarter than all of us. She didn't need to make her presence and that of the Furies known on the island. She'd done that to make us sweat and worry. We had out best people on it-J'onn and Diana, even A.C. scouring the world and talking to his network-and no one had figured out where she was hiding or what her exact plan for revenge was.

We'd started with the most obvious places-De Saad's, the burned out Luthor Mansion, the remains of the orphanage she'd run, even Tess's adoptive parents' home in Edge City if Granny had been feeling sentimental. Still, we couldn't find her any trace of her.

It was why my latest proposal wasn't going over so well, least of all from the key player. We were sitting at the main table in the sick bay, all of us and Conner. Even Lucky was sitting quietly on Chloe's shoulder, occasionally patting the top of her hair (he'd been very upset since my dandruff had cleared up; ours was a doomed love affair). Once I'd suggested my plan, everyone was just gaping at me.

"Okay," Conner said, shaking his head. "Just so I'm clear. Your big plan is for what? Me to drop out of high school? I just started last spring and have senior to go through!"

"I didn't say drop out. I said not go back this fall."

"Excuse me for not seeing that difference," Conner snarked. "Clark, I want to finish and go to college and all that good stuff."

"I know and you can, but this is serious, and we're playing a lot of people down. Lois used to help and she's persona non grada here. Tess is gone. I'm powerless and Kara has run off to who knows when, and we may never find her, especially now that the timeline collapsed. Bruce can't leave Gotham unguarded forever; he just can't. Diana's here now and won't be going home to Themyscira at least. She's adopted Metropolis as her city, but we could really use someone of your strength here and not in Georgetown."

"I could transfer here, I guess. We could be roomies. Oh and Chloe and Oliver are leaving too."

Right, there was that. I had seven weeks before she returned to Star City forever and I was keenly aware of that.

"True," I said, "but you can't continue at Sidwell-Friends, you just can't. I'm sorry. We need you here with Granny gunning for us. I...technically you do have a choice, I just want you to do what's right, Conner."

"To be you because you can't be anymore," he finished.

"In a way, but, frankly, Bruce wasn't wrong. I'm not just asking you to be here for muscle."

Bruce shook his head. "You're bringing him to Metropolis as bait, Clark."

"How would i I /i be bait?" Conner asked. "I wasn't even involved with the Darkseid mess, not really."

"Because," Diana continued. "Beside Lex Luthor, you're Tess's closest living relative and the boy she raised. You'd remind Granny of her."

"So like here kitty-kitty?" Conner asked, confused. "That's not a bad idea, really. She's just an old chick right? You said that the Furies only got such a drop on you because of green K."

J'onn was glaring at me and I noticed Chloe's scrutiny was extreme. "Granny is mystically endowed for lack of a better term."

"Like Z?" Conner asked.

"She can erase memories, Conner," Chloe said. "She could easily hurt you and, yeah, you're strong, but you're even less trained than Clark is, and so much less experience. Making your i Fancy Feast /i is a fucking terrible idea."

"But she'd know how to find me well enough in D.C. If she does have a jones to come after Tess's family and feels I'm more fun to go for than Baldie, then, I'm a target either way."

"Bringing you here would amplify it," Bruce said.

Oliver nodded. "I don't think I like this idea, Clark. I mean what? You just have him fly around a lot and hope that Granny gets angry?"

"Faulty metaphor, Conner can't fly either. I just...does i anyone /i have a better plan? Because satellite feeds and talking to fish and looking through old haunts, even having Z talk to her spirit friends, i none /i of that has helped."

"You're not using a seventeen year old boy to drag out a satanic minion with a grudge. Get the fuck over yourself," Chloe snapped, standing up and startling Lucky into slinking off into the 'Tower. "I'm going outside to get a breath. "The answer's no, Clark. If you even said the sentence to Martha, she'd have the same response." With that, she was storming out the double doors.

"Clark?" Mini-me asked.

"Yes, Conner?"

"You might want to go talk to her. She seems pretty pissed."

Huh, maybe I did have a talent for stating the obvious after all. I hadn't noticed that until spending more time with Conner. It was certainly not a Luthorian habit. Sighing, I stood and followed my friend. Chloe was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall by the entryway to Watchtower when I got there.

"Hey, what's really bothering you?"

"Oh you are; I thought I made that clear."

I sat across from her and frowned. "What did I say?"

"You're going to use a seventeen year old kid to do your dirty work and take on your blood feuds and force him into a destiny as a savior when he's not ready. Does i any /i of that sound even remotely familiar to you?"

I blinked. Shit. I did think like Jor-El.

"I-"

"You're not doing it. I'll beat you up myself. Conner's too young to ask this of him. You're not who you were, I get that, but you can't use him to be your proxy. He's his own person and, yes, he does want to help us fight, but he's far too young for all of this. Helping a little like Courtney does, sure, or like the Wonder Twins, I get that. But he's not ready to be full time patrol in this city to alleviate your guilt. He's not ready to go against a threat that the whole League can't find, let alone contain. You can't force someone to be ready for a destiny or even to accept one at all. You of all people should know that."

"I do."

"Then it was a stupid thing to say. You're not Jor-El, Clark, I do believe that, but that's a plan worthy of the AI and you know it."

"Or possibly Lionel."

"More noble intentions, I suppose, but yes."

I sighed. "I wasn't thinking."

"No, you thought this plan out very thoroughly, except who would pay the emotional price. Part of what I do, part of who I am to you-"

"Now there's a topic that could take weeks to hash out," I groused.

"Part of that," she continued. "is that I make sure you don't turn out like the AI. You might not have the powers or that attitude most of the time, but, no Clark, your judgement is i not /i better than the rest of ours all the time. It's just not."

"Like I pretty much insisted all of my year dressed up like a Matrix reject."

"Exactly. Diana and Bruce were going to Gotham tonight to patrol there. J'onn and Ollie have here. I was gonna go take Conner back to the hotel while he's visiting and maybe let him do some room service with Shelby and a movie or something. He wants you to be proud of him."

"I am proud of him!"

"Then he'd do anything for your approval and attention is the more accurate way to say that. Clark, don't ask of him what Jor-El ever asked of you. It'll hurt him in the long run, alright?"

I nodded and went back to the Watchtower. I said the customary goodbyes and we agreed to meet in two days to make up a list of questions to see if Z had other mystical solutions to our problem. I hugged Conner-one of those manly half-shoulder grabs-before he left with Chloe. I'd have to talk to him about our relationship later, another topic that could take weeks to try and figure out.

I was in my room, reading i The Art of War /i that Bruce insisted I memorize (bastard gave quizzes), when the door to the 'Tower opened. It had only been thirty minutes since everyone dispersed. I assumed it was Chloe or Conner, that they'd left something behind.

What I found coming down the stairs made my blood freeze. "Granny."

She nodded but didn't smile, the facade of caring grandmother long since gone from her. "Kal-El, what a set up you have for yourself. Is this where my Lutessa worked so hard?"

"Yes," I said, hesitating on the landing by my room.

I'd left my fucking cell phone at the table in the sick bay. I could probably yell loud enough for Conner to hear me, if I were lucky, but it might piss Granny off. It would definitely piss off the five Furies, each fully armed with various spears, blades, and other sharp instruments. They'd probably mincemeat me before Conner got up and realized it wasn't a guy-to-guy, take your time showing up chat but rather an going-to-die-now scream.

"I'm not here to kill you or that rat you live with for that matter."

"Oh."

Then she did smile. "Believe me, Clark. I've been training girls for greatness since before this country came to be. If I had wanted you dead, one of my Furies would have done slit your throat while you slept."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that."

She smiled more broadly. "You're pale enough to tell me the thought scares you, that you're so vulnerable now. It should scare you. If I snapped my fingers right now, my girls would have you in pieces."

"I-"

"Lex put her in pieces, Kal-El. It's bad enough your friends stopped Darkseid, this time. He always rises, you can't keep that from coming again, whether it was going to be last May or a century from now, he always rises. You won't be here next time to beat it back, not that you did much this time, did you?"

"No," I said.

I had no reason to be flippant.

I hadn't done anything to stop it, hadn't been proactive at it and then had been benched. Besides if I mocked her, I'd be dead. It took the sarcasm out of a guy, better to play along and see what she wanted than get eviscerated and never know.

"Come down stairs."

"I...you're not going to kill me if I do?"

"I'll kill you if you don't but start with the rat."

Wouldn't do to drag Lucky down with me and it was a terrible idea to make Granny ask twice. Forcing my legs to move, I walked down the stairs and came to stop five feet from her, wincing when her Furies surrounded me. One of them, who was wearing gloves that Freddy Krueger would have been envious of, dragged one long talon across my neck. It was enough to feel the pressure but not to draw blood.

"Girls, no no, we're just talking."

"Yes, Granny," the woman said, dropping her hand from my neck instantly. "As you wish."

"Thank you dear. Now, Kal-El or do you prefer 'Clark?' I know Lutessa had so many issues with her real name."

"Kal-El's fine. Half the JLA calls me that anyway," I admitted. "If you're not going to make Darkseid rise-"

"He will rise, like the tides. It comes in a circle as hatred and anger swell in humanity. Diana gave them hope but it won't last forever and when the darkness creeps back in, I'll be there. It takes time."

"Like between Nazi Germany and now."

"Yes. It'll take time again."

"You're not going to kill me either?"

"Oh, I have other things in store for you, but killing you now would be boring. The Batman is coming up with more torture than I could dream up. Besides, I have something very specific in mind for you."

"Are you going to drop Goldfinger style hints?"

"That wouldn't be sporting," she replied. "I just want you to know that I've let you live this long and I continue to do so. You'll call your friends when I'm gone and you'll plot and plan and regroup and talk to fish."

"You heard that?"

"I have my methods," she answered. "However, you won't stop what I want; you don't even know what I want."

"Tess. You want revenge because Tess died saving me."

"That much is obvious," she said, reaching out to me and I flinched, hating myself for being human and skittish. "But it's all in the how, isn't it? You're what I want Kal-El, and I know how to get to you. Don't worry about that. Right now? Watching you bumble around as a human is amusing me enough. I've been around for a long time and I have near infinite patience. When it's time to move, I will."

"You could just get it over with now. Leave my friends alone, leave Conner be. You could kill me now and call it even, and my friends wouldn't have to suffer for it."

"Tempting, but too fast. Fast's no good. I'll have centuries to live mourning my favorite daughter. Lutessa was special. Are you?"

"Not anymore."

She laughed. "I think you underestimate yourself. The plan you came up to use a child as bait for me? That was inspired. You're much more interesting than I gave you credit for." Something bright and red arched between her fingers. "I'd love to get inside your head."

"I-"

"Throwing a child to the wolves, brilliant. No, getting what I want out of you? That will be the most fun. So, Kal-El, take it as you will. I'm not going to kill you right now. I'm not going to raise Darkseid in a month or a year or even a decade, I couldn't alone. But I am going to let you wait it out and wonder what I have planned and know that every time you hear a sound, even in your mother's house in Washington, every time you hear something or think you see something out of the corner of your eye that you i are /i."

"If you touch my mother-"

"I could. I could kill her and Conner, let you know what it's like to live without your family. Would you like that, Kal-El?"

"Please, not them."

"I won't touch Conner. I have a soft spot for strays, even if he is a boy. You're right, I have a special focus on him because he's related to my Lutessa and, yes, Lex Luthor will get his. But you're first. You and your mother maybe, perhaps that reporter you love so much."

"Lois. Don't! We're not even dating each other."

"Yes, Lois," she said, laughing and I had no idea why. "You have so many people in your life I could take like Lutessa was taken from me. Think about that. Girls, it's time to leave."

"Granny, ma'am, we could finish him now," the girl who touched me said.

"It's not entertaining enough. You have so much more to learn," Granny replied smiling indulgently at the Fury. "We'll be going now, have a nice rest."

When she was gone and her group with her, I rushed to the sick bay and dialed Chloe's cell. I locked all the doors to the bay behind me and force myself to stay standing, waiting for her voice on the other line:

"Clark? Good thing you called! Conner rented i X-Men First Class /i and we were gonna wait to play it until we called you. Clark?"

"I-"

"Is something wrong?"

"Call J'onn. He can't leave my mom's side ever."

"Uh Clark?"

"Granny Goodness was here and she wants to make me suffer."


	22. Chapter 22

Chloe and Conner were in the sick bay before I even had a chance to say anything else. It was an advantage of having someone with superspeed in your life. Things just happened. I didn't deal with them at first, just shook my head and dialed J'onn's cell. I explained everything to him as fast as I could, making sure he went to D.C. and waiting for him to locate my mom and make sure she was safe, put her on the phone even, before I hung up. Granny was suffering because she'd lost her daughter of sorts. If she wasn't going to kill someone Tess had loved and been related to in Conner, then the most likely candidates after that really were my mom or Lois, after the wedding-that-wasn't.

"Clark?" Chloe asked, yanking me toward the exam table. "Clark? Are you hurt? Did she touch you?"

Conner squinted at me and I shifted a little. I knew he was just looking for broken bones but he was still new at his powers and some things couldn't be unseen. "Nothing's broken."

"I, no," I said, brushing my hand over the back of my neck. "One of the Furies scratched at me but she didn't break the skin."

"Alright, did she try anything?"

"No just to talk. I...she didn't even touch Lucky. He's off in the rafters hanging out."

"Good," Chloe said, biting her lip. "I'm worried about you . I mean, you seem okay but she can take memories. Did she touch you?"

"Like who's president? What's your mom's maiden name? How'd we meet? What's Watchtower type questions? I'm fine. She never touched me. She talked about wanting to see inside my head, but she didn't touch me. I remember everything I ever did, promise."

"So that time that we and Pete got an F on that book report in eighth grade?"

I blushed. "Uh there's a reason and not perverse but not in front of the kid either!"

"Huh?" Conner asked, perking up.

"Good, well just testing," she finished, putting a hand to my forehead as if you could feel for memory loss like a fever. I brushed it off and she frowned. "I'm fine, Chloe. I swear it. I...she threatened Lois. She won't touch Conner because he's related to Tess and Tess liked him, reverse logic on my part I guess. She implied she'd go after people I'd loved to punish me. She mentioned mom and Lois. I...if J'onn's guarding mom now, then someone needs to stay on Lois."

"We can put Zatanna on it for a while. Z's someone who can hang out in Lois's office and the DP and stay invisible or unnoticeable via magic and she might have a chance of fighting off the Furies before back up comes."

"Lois really hates Zatanna."

"Z's a bit easy," Chloe said. "And no love loss from me either. She fucks with everything, but she's a good candidate and if we're hunting someone who's started using magical means to cloak herself, Z's gonna have to bring her A game to the research table in order to figure out how to uncloack Granny."

"I...Lois really hates her."

"Why?" Conner asked.

"Because Z tried making out with me once," I said, sighing. "Fucking mind control. I just...Lois is going to be really pissed off."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "When Lois isn't dead, then she'll thank us all. It's that or the Furies skin her before Granny lobotomizes her."

"She might choose that before being besties with Zatanna. I...what am I supposed to do? They had me cold, Chlo. If they'd wanted me dead, they'd have succeeded. I wouldn't have even had much time to get off a scream for Conner or J'onn. I'd just be in pieces."

And on cue came smile number four.

Pity.

Chloe couldn't stop herself from stroking my hair like I was three. "Buddy system. J'onn on your mom, Zatanna on Lois, and-"

"I'll hang out with the Dr. Evil to my mini-me?" Conner said, trying to be breezy and failing miserably.

"No, Clark, you're moving in with Diana. Conner is too young for bodyguard duty."

"I'm not a baby!"

"Technically you're barely a year old," Chloe countered. "I'm not saying we don't need you and you can't help us, of course you can, but I am saying that this is bigger than what you can do on your own."

"She's right, I...Granny said she didn't want to kill you not that she wouldn't if you got in her way. I just, Chloe can you contact Z?"

"Yup, getting her on my cell now. 'Watchtower' has everyone's contacts on insta-dial," she joked, bringing her cell to her ear. "Zatanna, you have to drop your show in Albuquerque. You're needed."

"What?" Lois demanded and we were sitting in our, well, her apartment.

I noticed she'd painted it since I'd moved out and bought a lot of decorative wall hangings and things to make up for the pictures of us together she'd obviously tossed. Diana was sitting next to me on the love seat, taking the "guard Clark" command literally, while Chloe and Oliver were sitting at the kitchen table. Zatanna was standing behind the sofa, leaning against the window. Bruce was at Watchtower and J'onn safe with mom and Conner in D.C.

Chloe was not amused with her cousin. "Granny Goodness didn't die. Bruce didn't wound her badly enough, maybe she's not that type of being, who really knows. However, she's after Clark because of Tess's death and she's threatened you and Martha by name."

Well, technically, mom by name and Lois by job description but same idea.

"And that means I have to be best friends with Zatanna? Are you serious?"

"I'm not thrilled with you either," Z defended. "I could save so much trouble for all of us just turning Lois into a rabbit for a few months and shoving her into my act. I can watch her plenty with four feet."

Oliver glared at her. "That's not really an option. You've both worked with or are working for the League. We're all on the same side. Hell, Lois isn't even dating Clark anymore, Zatanna. There's no need to be jealous and pick on each other. Lois, it's this or risk Granny killing you when you're unguarded."

"I might go with the latter option," she snarked. "Zatanna's track record is terrible-changing my cousin's body, making out with my boyfriend at the time, the spike alcohol-how can I even be sure I can trust her with my safety."

"Because I'm on the good side here!" Zatanna said.

"Lois, Zatanna," Diana started with all the regal nature she possessed. "We're all three sisters in arms here. Zatanna is sorry she took advantage of Clark last year and she's going to help you, right?"

Z nodded. "I promise."

"You can't just hang around me! I'm not Clark; I have a real job."

Ouch.

"I work for Wayne Industries, actually."

"Yeah, Chloe mentioned, but Bruce indulges you. Perry's not going to get that a circus reject is following me around 24/7."

Zatanna whispered something, possibly Latin, and disappeared before all of us. Then she spoke. "Better than a invisibility cloak. I can be on any case with you and even Granny won't know it. It's why I'm a better choice than Victor or Bart or Andrea." She whispered again and maybe Romanian? Then she was visible again.

Lois snorted. "Fine so Hermione's going to babysit. How long is that going to last?"

"Until we catch Granny and contain her and the Furies. We've been trying for a month to track her but we've obviously not had any luck. She finds us when she wants to and we find nothing in between. It's scary," I admitted, not really sure how to take Diana's quick pat to my hand. I mean, yeah, I knew it was professional. I just didn't think of the Amazon as one for comforting.

"So it could be months of me and Sabrina?"

"Yes, and I figure pet names will make her more likely to turn you into a toad as a joke," Chloe said, sighing. "Lo, it's not ideal but we don't want you or Martha or Clark hurt. Everyone gets a frontline power bodyguard. You get Zatanna so you can carry on the day job thing. J'onn can shapeshift and will be Martha's new head of secret service. Zatanna can go invisible or disguise herself as easily. It made the most sense."

Lois frowned. "And Wondy over there is taking care of Clark."

"I assure you, Ms. Lane, however you feel about it, Kal and I are professionals. If it alleviates nonsensical concerns, I have more of a connection with Bruce," Diana said.

Lois blinked. "I'm not jealous."

"My mistake," Diana amended. "If you want to live and keep your memories, you'll listen to what we have to say. Do you understand?"

Lois sighed. "Yeah, but I don't have to like having Z as my new best friend and shadow."

"I don't like being it, so it evens out," Zatanna replied. "So do you have digital cable?"

Diana had a penthouse in Wayne Industries' main building in Metropolis. It wasn't the biggest apartment in the tower, that was Bruce's of course, but it was very nice. I wondered if she had it because Bruce was a bit sweet on her or because he viewed her, in part, as a visiting dignitary worthy of the space. Maybe it was both.

I was sitting on the balcony, looking down at the night sky and at the traffic below, my mind idly wondering what it would be like to have flown on my own just once. Bruce and Diana had both found a place with great access for a woman with her abilities, a place for discrete take offs and arrivals in superspeed. I was impressed.

"Kal?"

"I'm sorry," I said, realizing that I'd jumped a little when Diana had touched my shoulder. "I'm just nervous."

"Chloe and Oliver just finished dropping off your things. Lucky's been relocated for a while, and Shelby's here. I...Bruce found a center in North Carolina for Lucky. We thought in the middle of all of this, the last thing anyone needed was to find a calling card."

"Calling card?" I asked.

"A dead lemur as a warm-up act," she amended. But Shelby and your things are all waiting for you in the guest room."

"But Lucky'll be okay?"

She smiled. "Not a fly by night zoo scam, I assure you. Are you alright?"

I snorted. "Why wouldn't I be okay? One of evil's chief prophets hates my guts and wants me to suffer, just proved she can get to me any time she wants, and showed me what a useless piece of shit I am. I feel great. Add in mom and Lois are in huge trouble from even knowing me and Lois has redecorated our whole place live I'd never lived there...yeah I feel awesome, Diana."

"I wasn't looking for sarcasm."

"I know and I just..." I replied, trailing off and running my hand through my hair. "I feel weak, and I hate that. Sure, I'm better than I was and I at least have a handle on some basic moves and can hold my own because of my size and what I know with some muggers here, I'd hope. Even in a a couple more months with you and Chloe and Bruce all helping me, I might not be bad with a taser and a bo and good enough to partner on patrol, sure."

"But?"

"She had me dead to rights. She had me. They were in my home and could have killed me, may have been watching me since I lost my powers, probably have been. Yeah, I have some moves now but against five Furies and a minion of Darkseid who can erase minds? A few Keysi moves aren't going to do a damn bit of difference."

"Before you might have held your own, save for Granny's touch or Kryptonite."

"Well I didn't have to worry about blades, did I?"

Diana nodded. "They invaded all our home by coming to Watcthower. We didn't think its sanctity could be violated, but we were wrong."

"I used to be able to take care of not only myself but the people who are important to me. Lois will always matter. I don't love her, maybe I never did in a healthy way, but I don't want her to die or be hurt just cause she knows me! Not mom or Conner either. I can't even save myself."

"This is what a team is for. J'onn, Zatanna, and I all take up the slack gladly for you, Kal. Martha, as I understand it, saved the League from the VRA and we protect the innocent. It's our code."

"But I was supposed to be that go-to guy. Now, no offense because you're my friend, but you're my bodyguard now because I'm not enough ."

"She scared you."

"No shit!" If I weren't so upset I'd have remembered insulting Diana to her face wasn't very smart.

"She scares me too, Kal. I do not want to fail you or your family, not ever."

"Thank you."

"We will train you. Tomorrow Chloe and I will add in knives and tasers. Between our training and Bruce's, you'll be able to hold your own."

"Not with five Furies with knives all after me at once," I countered.

"That's why we have teammates. We cannot take on everything alone," she said. "A strong person-man or woman-knows when to ask for help."

"I didn't used to need help."

She laughed sadly and patted my shoulder again. "Kal, we always need more help than we think we do."

"Clark, Diana and I can't teach you to throw knives," Chloe said, sighing. "You have good glasses but your aim sucks. You're ability to focus is never going to be very good even if you got contacts. It's not your skill."

I nodded and tried to keep my eyes on the linoleum in the dojo in the Wayne Tower. Diana was in her star-spangled get up and, yeah, I don't want to date her or anything but I am a guy and her girls are just so in your face in that outfit, you know? Best to look at the floor and keep my arms. Chloe was worse somehow, even if it was just her leather pants and a black tank top. She was going to patrol tonight with Bruce and already had her kevlar and leather jacket resting in the corner of the room. Hair hacked to bits or no, she still looked beautiful and the leather hugged her body in all the right ways.

God, I loved her.

"Clark?"

I blinked and looked up, forcing myself to keep eye contact and not let my gaze sink lower. "I know but something that...she was thinking bo staff anyway. I'm not a Highlander type or a knight of the round table but maybe split the difference? If the Furies are packing something that serious, maybe there's something bladed I can use as well?"

She considered that. "I'm not sure what the Greeks used outside of broad swords historically but, when I was in Turkey, I learned something for a month that I found useful. We can run it by Diana when she gets up here."

"Turkey! You were gone only nine months!"

She nodded. "I spent time two months in Themyscira, then a detour into Turkey for about a month, then to coast city for a month, and finally I was with Bruce into November and until I could get the Suicide Squad under my thumb. Once they advanced on my uncle, I split time between training with Bruce and playing White Queen. When the VRA finally struck, I cut my own training short and mobilized. You've seen what I've been doing since then."

"What's in Coast City?"

"Hal Jordan, and, like I said, I promised you'd meet him and the Lanterns eventually, at least when they're on Earth."

"He's an alien?"

"No, he's human, the other Lanterns are not. He's sort of their version of affirmative action maybe," she explained.

"And Turkey?"

"Not far off from Themyscira. I had time out in front of me and didn't realize training with The Batman would be cut short by an attempt on Uncle Sam. I just thought I had time to see the world when I hadn't had free time in years."

"So Wonder Woman, Batman, The Lanterns, and then the Suicide Squad. You did stay busy!"

"Overachiever," she said, shrugging. "I kept up with the DP both for your articles and for the coverage on you. You were busy too, Clark."

I was.

"Do you ever miss high school? Just having to worry about an Ian Randell or a Van McNulty even?"

"All the time. It was never simple," she said. "But it was easier maybe?"

"Or hard for us then and we grew with it. At fifteen you couldn't hack a firewall in a single bound and I wasn't even able to hear well yet." I blushed, realizing I couldn't do that anymore. "Or now."

Smile four was not what I saw on her face; it was three, shifty eyes and all. Her hand was on my shoulder and the sense of it there was not maternal. "I was terrified when Conner ran me to the 'Tower. I was afraid even if you were on the phone and lucid that she'd hurt you or taken your memories. I thought I'd get there and you'd be bleeding out or a gibbering mess."

"A bit of a reverse scenario."

"Oh please, I've been saving your ass since before you turned eighteen. I'm not that impressed by you, Mr. Kent."

That made two of us.

"You were scared?"

She nodded and still refused to look at me. "I love you, Clark. You're family. If you'd died or not really known who I was or whatever else Granny could have done. I got you out of the VRA. I've been able to help you adjust. I...if you lost your mind, it'd kill me."

I swallowed, knowing I'd done that once to her and never ever brought it up with her, even if she was herself again.

"I'm here, Chlo," I answered, voice husky, my fingers playing with what was left of her hair. "I...how can we circle each other and be afraid for each other and everything else? How can we do that and not just-"

"Be together," she finished, stepping back. "It's the 21st. I'll be gone by September seventh. Clark, I can't."

"I broke you just like the ring broke me."

"In a way," she said. "Hey, when Diana gets back, it'll be fun-tasers and bos!"

"Oh my," I deadpanned, sighing and sitting down on a few training mats in a pile. "That's exactly what would make me feel better."

"Have you been reading you Sun Tzu?"

"Yes mini-Fuhrer," I said.

She rolled her eyes and wandered over to the weapons wall of blades and maces and other things from all over the world, especially the Far East. Things that both probably cost more than my truck once had and whose names I didn't know, things that looked very sharp. She settled on a compact yet wickedly curved blade and my mind flashed back to when I first saw Aladdin at Pete's birthday party.

Smiling, Chloe picked it up as if it weighed nothing and then took an expert swing with it. "I might have learned a few things in Turkey after all."

"Whoa."

"Clark, I can't tell you to throw knives, but I might be able to with Diana's help get you to swing a scimitar."


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

Someone was entering into my room. I heard the stumble of someone miscalculating their entrance and bumping into the door. I was up in a second, my weapon branded high. "Ah!"

The light was on in a second, and my baseball bat in Conner's hand a bit after that. "Dude! Come on!"

I blinked and sighed, realizing I had been disarmed and didn't even realize it had been happening when he did it. At least Furies didn't have Kryptonian speed. "Conner?"

He nodded. "Hey, it's Friday. I came out to see everyone and it's still only eight. Diana said that Bruce was giving you today off."

"He is? I usually go into work at the basement on Fridays. In fact, my alarm should have gone off so I could shower."

"Oh."

"Diana's not here?" I asked and my heart was racing. "She left me? It's only been three days! What kind of bodyguard is she?"

"She only left when I got here and only on the understanding I wasn't gonna leave you without her coming back first."

"So you're sitting me?"

"Kind of? I guess," Conner replied, shrugging and handing me back the metal Louisville Slugger. "Damn Clark, are you gonna set up trip wires attached to empty gas cans too? Maybe something out of Home Alone ?"

I sighed and set the bat down on the other side of the bed from where I slept. "No."

Conner frowned at the taser on the bedside table, the bo-staff against the wall between said table and the mattress. He grinned and picked up the blade before him on the floor. "Whoa!" He said taking a swipe with the scimitar and looking like something out of 1,001 Arabian Nights . "Wicked."

"Yes, it's like having infinite superpowers. Jesus, I'm so pathetic."

"Meh, if I were just a Fury or a meteor freak, someone without a lot of speed and, well, metal resistance, you'd have had a good drop on me. You should be proud of thinking ahead. Where's your cell?"

I gestured to the pocket of my grey sweatpants. "Definitely sleeping with it. Sorry if I was very paranoid on you."

"I don't think when the Furies and Granny threaten to slit your throat in your sleep, you can be too careful. This is the safest building in the city. No one's as paranoid as Bruce. Diana wouldn't have left if I weren't sitting outside your door. Clark, we got your back."

I nodded and sat down on the bed. "Conner, I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't worry, you didn't get anywhere close to hitting me with that bat," mini-me said easily, sitting down next to me. I noticed he was even in his own House of El t-shirt and rolled my eyes.

"Did you come from patrolling D.C. all night?"

"A little, talk about a city that'll keep you busy. Uh, do you have anything that would fit me?"

"Nope, but I'm sure we can send for something. I've known Oliver and even Lex long enough to know rich people could send for albino wombats and get them in under thirty seconds. It's kind of cool."

"Wombats?"

"I tried that just once in when I was fifteen. It worked ."

"Huh, well that would be nice to have billions of dollars. I wouldn't mind inheriting that part!"

I laughed. "You want small Australian mammals on command?"

"I want it all, man. Swimming pools and movie stars. If I were a billionaire, I'd have all the girls swarming me. Apparently you and Lex make a short dude. This is not agreeable to me."

I thought of me and of Kara. "Yeah, that's his fault. Still, we're not that shallow!"

"No, but it'd be fun. Tell me that having the kind of money Bruce and Ollie have wouldn't be a blast."

I shrugged. "True. I bet Chloe just loves it." A pillow hit my face and it kind of hurt. "Hey!"

"Chloe's not like that, idiot. I just, I dunno, maybe I'm just having a growth spurt."

I eyed him. He still looked the same. With us that meant little. "How so?"

"Well, yeah, I get I'm weird, even by weird people standards."

"No shame in it," I said, trying to be honest.

"Thanks, Clark," Conner replied and he was quieter then. "I understand I'm barely a year old petri dish time, but then I used to have like over twenty-five years of some other person's memories, but now I'm just me and seventeen about physically."

"I'd go with you being seventeen and roll with that. We all think of you like a teenager. I...unless do you need some Raffi?"

"No, I feel seventeen," he blushed. "A lot actually."

"Oh! Well, yeah, uh, that's all...honestly, Conner, I assume you know that kind of thing from TV. When I got to be that age, dad showed me the cows and bulls and I pretended I hadn't spent two summers earlier being in hedonism land in Metropolis."

"Huh?"

"I ran away a whole summer on Red K to the club scene. I did a lot . I didn't do everything, but I just never really talked about my eye opening summer with mom and dad after. If it made him feel better to think I was a senior in high school and had fuck all idea about the birds and the bees, well, it made him happy."

"Did you, well, the way everyone's always talked up Lana, I assumed she was The One for a while."

I nodded. "Oh I never went that far in Metropolis. I...I'm not sure why. It's not like we're all that restrained on Red K. I guess it didn't interest me."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Maybe you didn't have the right girl, was all."

"Maybe, maybe I just wanted to hang out in clubs and pick fights," I said, blushing. "I...I've done a lot of things I don't go around bragging about. My Red K summer is one of my top five worsts."

"Well, I mean, you were drugged."

"I kept dosing myself with the ring."

"Oh."

"Don't feel weird about asking. I just...even if The Blur was a hero a lot last year especially, I've made a lot of mistakes growing up. We all have."

"I do pretty well so far in superhero land. I know I'm new at it, but I think I'm managing."

"Definitely," I replied, patting his back. "So you're seventeen and?"

"Well, I dunno, thinking about things."

"Like?"

He blushed. We did that a lot. "Girls, actually."

"Is there a girl at your school?" I asked, not sure what role he wanted from me. I wasn't his dad cause then I'd go into that very parental disapproving "use protection" speech dads are supposed to give. I wasn't actually his brother whose job would be traditionally to gossip about the hotness. I settled on just being concerned friend. I wasn't sure if Conner had himself figured out enough to try dating yet, really, but I wasn't going to cramp his style if he had a crush either. "Is she cute?"

"No, there's no girl at Sidwell. I wish there were. Don't get me wrong, a lot of the girls are pretty, but then I think about how not hot it would be to crush her hand if I got nervous on a date or set her car on fire on accident and-"

"I understand that, more than you know," I said, remembering back to even in college and dating Lana but being terrified to touch her.

"There aren't...humans aren't really made for us."

I blushed. "Well, I'm not going to go into detail or paint diagrams here but Lois and I had a full relationship for a long time before the wedding-that-wasn't. It's a lot psychosomatic."

"Well then there's always the amazing pick up line of 'Hi, I'm the hybrid clone of a billionaire and a former extraterrestrial superhero. Would you like to date me? I promise I have no tentacles!;'"

I thumped him with the baseball bat and rolled my eyes when it dented over his head. I'd charge a new one to Bruce today. "Don't."

"Oh like you never had similar thoughts, minus the billionaire hybrid part."

I had them now, actually. I was still Kryptonian, just handicapped. I wasn't going to be a raging success on the dating market if I ever went back either.

"It's not nice to you, Conner," I replied. "I...it's easier dating people who get it. My only actual wife was meteor infected."

"Huh?"

"It was a Vegas style thing."

"Like Chloe and Ollie?"

I gritted my teeth. "No, but I was pretty high. Alicia drugged me. I loved her, but she wasn't very stable."

"When was this? I need like a diagram!"

"I was a senior. I...she was murdered after we annulled it," I said, standing up and heading to my drawers. I needed to get my jeans, a new shirt, and Old Red out anyway. I didn't want to face him when I talked about Alicia. It would always hurt, how badly I'd failed her. "The point is," I continued, pulling out a grey t-shirt and some boxers before slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door. "That sometimes a girl who has abilities understands more. I think, based on how badly I struck out with Lana and Lois, that's true."

"Chloe was a healer once, right?"

"Not now, not for over three years. She was mutated for a while though," I muttered, getting on my jeans too and making sure my cell transferred pants' pockets.

"See, our type man, I'm telling you."

I opened the door and slung on my red jacket. Glaring at mini-me, I added, "Not today, Conner. That's a sailed ship."

"Uh-huh," he said.

"Definitely," I replied. "I'm not a little kid anymore and I don't break my friends up, okay?"

"Your loss," Conner replied and it occurred to me he was the devil on my left shoulder, the immature part of me who wasn't going to get I couldn't just be like I'd been at nineteen, that I was more than that now.

I shrugged. "Diana mentioned she has a protege. She's about your age, a girl named Cassie. Maybe you'd like to meet her."

"Clark, no offense, Diana's very nice and noble but she has the personality of a glue stick."

"Oh no, Cassie's American. Apparently it's this weird her dad got around a lot thing and she's getting sporadic training outside of school from the Amazons. She'll be back in the states by late August."

"Her dad?"

"Zeus," I said, digging into my dresser and pulling out a t-shirt Lois had shrunk and managed to turn pink by mixing the reds and whites.

Conner rolled his eyes when I tossed him the only thing I had that'd fit him but put it on anyway, low profile and all that. "Bullshit."

"Alien," I said, pointing at my chest. "Alien clone," I said pointing at him. "Staying in a Greek goddess's apartment paid for by The Batman. Cassie being demi-god is too much for you?"

"I...really? Like all that stuff from mythology?"

"Apparently. See you guys could bond over bizarre parental situations."

"Petri dish or philandering god, which is weirder?"

I rolled my eyes and squashed down an urge to hug him. Conner was a teenager, however one counted his age, and he wouldn't go in for that. "Colorfully eclectic," I corrected. "Besides, I thought...would you like to go to see Tess today?"

He nodded and grabbed his leather jacket. "Sure, I'd love that. Clark?"

"Yeah," I asked, grabbing my taser and sighing that I couldn't sneak the scimitar around under Old Red.

"Is Cassie hot?"

"Blonde, mini-me, blonde."

Conner grinned. "That's our type!"

Now I tell me.

I sat on a bench a close enough for Conner to keep an eye on me, but not close enough to overhear with my current senses what Conner was saying to Tess. It was the first time he'd been back since May, and I wanted to respect his space. If I wasn't Granny Goodness's number one priority and target, I'd have wandered out of seeing distance. I was trying to concentrate on Angry Birds , but I still would look up from time to time and make out Conner sniffling or wiping at his eyes.

I understood that. It had been over five years since dad had died and when I let myself actually process it, it stung. Maybe I was being a jerk, but I remembered being much younger than Conner and seeing a field of tombstones all surrounding me, of Cassandra Carver's vision about me never outliving everyone I'd ever loved. Dad had felt like the first-Lana and Chloe at various times, although they'd never stayed dead-but now if Granny had her way, I'd be going before most anyone else.

At best, I had the usual sixty or maybe seventy years at most ahead of me. I didn't envy Conner or J'onn or Diana at all, didn't want to have that part of my abilities back.

Poor kid was dealing badly enough with just one person gone from his life and the hero business was one that included a lot of funerals by its nature.

I was almost on level three, when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I cursed when I wiped out. There went thirty minutes of effort. "You ready, buddy?"

"Sure. I...where in Metropolis sells a lot of sugar?"

"There's a good bakery on seventh. It's not mom's cooking-"

"What is?"

"But it has pretty amazing peanut butter chocolate cheesecake."

"Now you're talking. I don't even try with pie. No one makes it like mom."

"Nope," I said, following him and falling into an easy rhythm at his side. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't kill her Clark."

"No, I mean, that I even thought you'd be better here, that you were old enough to take on my duties and my mantle."

"I will be one day," Conner answered. "Today's probably not that day, no."

I nodded and concentrated on the grass beneath me. "I...I'm very proud of you, Conner. I know I'm not your dad, exactly."

"Nope."

"And not your brother."

"Not quite."

"Not even exactly you."

"Nuh-uh."

"However, I want you to know I'm proud of you as you are. You don't have to do things to impress me. Figure out your life and what you feel comfortable doing for the JLA on your own schedule, you know?"

"Okay, but I wouldn't mind transferring to like Excelsior or whatever here and being like Blur, Jr. ."

"If you didn't think I'd like you more for doing it?"

"I prefer D.C. and home with mom, sure, but I do want you make you happy."

"Then tell me when to fuck off," I admitted. "If I'm saying something you don't really, truly agree with. You're not my proxy and you're not me. You get to make your own choices."

"Then it's still cool I'm in this fight, right? Not the way you and Diana and Chloe and Ollie and Bruce are. I know I'm not frontline ready yet."

"Neither am I. Besides, you and J'onn have the most important job there is."

"Mom," he said quietly. "I wouldn't let anything happen to her, Clark, honest. If Granny magicks me into thinking I'm a carrot, I don't care, I'd protect her no matter what."

"That definitely sounds like me," I said, laughing.

"Clark, you were trying to think of a plan. It didn't happen. I don't think I have to be you, and we have a better one. I'm way more worried about you than I am about me feeling pressure to be Blur, Jr. or whatever."

"I'm not gonna die. I've had lots of people try and kill me before, sometimes for stuff I didn't even do."

"Huh?"

"Jor-El has a lot of enemies and blood feuds outstanding. I've had more than one person come to Earth just to attack me for the crime of existing and being related to him."

"But Granny could have...I'm sorry, Clark."

"Why?"

"Because I heard you," he said looking back at me, eyes wide. "I heard your heart speed up and I just...I guess I assumed you were just still upset over everyone shooting down your plan. I should have taken it more seriously and realized you were in real trouble."

"You didn't know."

"Not an excuse. You could have been dead and I'd have not even bothered to do the smart thing and double check."

"But we're both fine," I said, stopping and slinging my arm over his shoulder. "You're a very good mini-me."

"Thanks man, but nothing says thanks like blonde demi-goddess phone numbers."

I laughed and nodded. "I'll call Diana right now if you're that intrigued." As if on cue, my cell rang. Sighing, I answered and hoped for the best, a wrong number.

"Hello?"

"Clark, hey."

"Mr. Danvers?" He was my former super at my old apartment with Lois.

"Yeah, it's me. Look, um, I don't know who else to call. I tried the Planet and Lois wasn't there and the number of your place in this building. I even tried her cell a dozen times."

My heart started to race and Conner's head shot up at my distress. "What?"

"Look, I get that you're not together anymore, I do, but someone has to get their goat out of the apartment. We have health codes and the other tenants have been calling me all morning."

"Goat?" Conner mouthed at me.

I shook my head and kept myself at cursing at my poor super. "Sure, Mr. Davers. I'll be right over. I still have my spare and I don't even know what Lois was thinking."

"Me neither. Thanks Clark."

I hung up my phone and shoved it back into my jacket. "Fucking Zatanna."

"What?"

"I think Lois pissed her off; I...we should probably stop somewhere and get some sugar cubes."

"I'm really confused," Conner said. "What does a goat in Lois's place have to do with Z?"

"It wouldn't have much if the odds weren't massive that Lois is the goat," I huffed, heading to the closest grocery store to the memorial park.

Conner snickered. "No shit?"

"I'd get the giggles under control. Lois is not going to find this funny at all."

"Well, it is kind of funny. She's always been stubborn."

"She has her own stash of green K just in case. Don't even piss the goat version off, mini-me."

"Yikes!"

"Yeah, 'yikes girls' are also our type, Conner, definitely also our type," I finished, rushing out of the cemetery and off to save my ex from certain fleas.


	24. Chapter 24

24

"Clark! Thank you for coming," Mr. Danvers said, shaking my hand as we stood outside of what had once been my place.

"You didn't want to go in? You have a key," I pointed out.

To be fair, Mr. Danvers was in his mid sixties. He was still pretty handy and great at Mr. Fix-It situations but maybe he wasn't up to dealing with a (probably mystical) and sure to be pissed off goat. A lot of city people tended to get really scared around livestock in general, I'd found. Really, horses were harder to deal with. Goats were less likely to get skittish or to kick. But Metropolitans weren't like the people of Smallville, a bit more high strung.

"I can hear it from here and all the stuff crashing. I'm good, Clark. Oh, tell Lois that the building manager called me specifically. There's a pets' clause. We don't even allow cats. She's evicted."

Conner snickered a little. "See, man. Now you don't have to feel badly about her kicking you out."

"Quite," I said glaring at him.

Mr. Danvers looked between us. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"He's a surprise sometimes," I deadpanned, sighing. "Mr. Danvers, I'll get the goat out and clean up the mess myself. I can't even imagine what Lois was thinking. I...do you want to be here when I open the door?"

"Will I get kicked."

"Usually," I lied.

He nodded and walked back down the stairs. "Just make it clean, Clark. The manager's furious."

"City folk," I said, opening the door and gaping when I came in. Zatanna was nowhere to be seen, which didn't mean a lot considering her abilities, and a goat who stood about up to Conner's hip level with a dark brown coat was standing on the kitchen table, chewing on an apple. Everything was messed up. There were holes kicked through the breakfast bar, mess (you can fill in what kind) all over the floor, knocked over trashcans, even the bowl of fruit scattered across the table.

It didn't smell great either.

"Lois?"

The goat kept chewing at the apple and I rolled my eyes. "Z this it not funny."

Conner shut and locked the door behind me as my life unfurled like a particularly bad episode of Bewitched . There was a flash of purple light and Zatanna stood in front of us in a casual outfit, no top hat required. It was still a very tight-fitting, low cut number and I cursed and bolted for the fire extinguisher when the curtains caught on fire.

That'd be our type number one-boobs.

"Conner," I said, putting out the smoking mess that had been the drapes. "Look at her face!"

"I...wow...Zatanna you look nice."

"I knew you always liked me, Clark," Zatanna purred.

"Conner's not me for one," I lied. "For another why the Hell is a goat in my apartment and please, please tell me that's not Lois."

The goat, looking between the dying flames and Zatanna's cleavage bah'ed and then kicked several times, knocking crystals off the modest chandelier we'd picked out from Pier 1.

Yeah, there wasn't going to be much of an apartment left after this.

"Oh that's Lois. Can't you tell. It has her winning personality."

Conner burst out into peals of laughter and I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Zatanna liked me well enough and I didn't think I'd get her angry enough to turn me into a monkey or something, but it was best to approach her politely and with a lot of calm. I just got over the dandruff, and I didn't need the lice.

"That's pretty wicked," mini-me said in between laughs.

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his distracted ass onto the sofa. "Don't say anything Lois will kill you for later. And, as for you, Z, this is not what bodyguard duty means. You're supposed to be as unobtrusive as possible, not change her species!"

"I think it's an improvement," she said icily. "Lois spent all of breakfast calling me a whore in new and creative ways. Now she can't talk. Huge fucking improvement."

"Change her back or I'll tell everyone what you did."

"Clark, come on, isn't the silence around here amazing."

"Ugh, so's her smell," Conner snapped, fanning the air in front of his face. "Z, this is pretty mean, funny but mean. You can't keep her an animal forever."

"It's only been four hours," Zatanna pouted. I rolled my eyes as Conner's flashed red. We were so easy.

"Do it now or I'll tell Diana and she'll beat the crap out of you," I replied. "This? Not very within League codes."

Z rolled her eyes and muttered something in Latin. There was a flash of green light and there was Lois, naked and on her hands and knees, sitting on what was left of the kitchen table with an apple still in her teeth. I wasn't even surprised when the front door caught on fire, just annoyed.

Watchtower was pretty tense. Since I wanted to take advantage of my first day off in weeks and because Bruce would just say something to piss Zatanna off anyway, I hadn't called either him or Diana about Z and Lois's tiff. Instead, Conner, Chloe, Oliver, Lois, Zatanna and I were sitting in the main room of Watchtower, trying to figure out what would work best for keep Lois safe.

Oliver wasn't saying much, just focusing on the monitors. He'd dated Lois too. He knew when not to piss her off. This? Definitely one of those times.

Chloe was standing up and glaring at Z who was lounging on the sofa. Lois was on the stairwell with her worldly goods in three suitcases and a laptop case beside her. Conner was sitting at the kitchen counter, trying not to glance Lois's way, failing more often than not, and blushing an awful lot. Not surprisingly, Conner had always had the hots for Lois and seeing the, ahem, Promised Land had distracted him a lot this afternoon. He was sitting with his own fire extinguisher after I'd grown tired of dousing out a few smoking counter tops in the first hour.

Standing beside Chloe and shaking my head, annoyed when my glasses slipped, I just gaped at Z. "You turned Lois into a goat."

"Yes, you've known that for an hour. If you're having trouble absorbing it, then we might be here a while."

"You've been guarding my cousin for less than forty-eight hours and you turned her into a goat!" Chloe shouted. "Are you insane?"

"She said I was a slut!"

"Well," I muttered. "You do come on a little strong, sometimes. Also, a guy does not appreciate mindrape, you know?"

"We could have been great together, Clark."

"Oh we can!" Conner said.

"Sorry, kiddo, I don't do cradle robbing. Besides, the Lex in you stunted. I like them broad."

Conner sighed and went back to blinking a lot. It was distinctly creepy and not helping to soothe Lois either.

"Hermione, I don't have an apartment anymore! I got evicted for doing nothing wrong."

"Well, you did leave a lot of unmentionable presents all over the floor," Zatanna countered.

Even Oliver couldn't stop himself from chuckling before a withering look from Lois sent him back to reading satellite images of Russia.

"I was a goat. I had no idea what was going on! I wake up back on my table and my place reeks and Clark's helping me pack. Fuck you!"

"I can make you a pig if you'd prefer, a hog even?"

"Z, Lo, enough!" Chloe shouted and, despite the fact she was by far the smallest of us, everyone listened to her. "Z, you didn't do what we asked and let Lois go about her daily life. Lois, you shouldn't have taunted a wizard so powerful. Both of you are stuck with each other. You have to figure out how to deal with each other without name calling or transmogrification. Zatanna, the next time you change my cousin into an animal, vegetable, or mineral, I will have Diana punt your ass to Sri Lanka."

"Serves you right," Lois huffed.

Chloe rounded on her, "And you, Lois, will accept Z's apology over slutting it up for Clark and trying to steal him over a year ago. You're not even dating anymore!"

"She was still a whore," Lois countered.

A bright gold light arched between Z's fingertips. "Say that again, and I'll give you scales."

"Enough!" Chloe said. "This is not how we behave. I mean, yeesh, at this rate, Lois might be better off with the Furies. They just skin you and disembowel."

"Thanks cuz?"

"I'm serious. Z, stop aiming to humiliate her. You two are a team. You're here to save her the way J'onn is for Martha or Diana is for Clark most of the time," Chloe continued.

"I'm a good me-body guard," Conner countered to no one in particular.

"Well J'onn loves Martha and who even knows what Diana and Clark do late at night."

I gulped. Diana would crush me and she wasn't...I don't even know how Bruce dealt with her. She seemed like the type if you moved too fast with her or crossed signals, you'd end up a pretzel. "Diana and I are colleagues , Zatanna. You can probably read thoughts. You know we're not like that and I have no interest in her in that way. You're the best option we had for Lois to stay safe and keep employed. If you do this again to her and ruin her job, I'll sick mom on you."

"Your mom?" Even Z gulped.

Yup, if Martha Kent ever became a supervillain, humanity as we knew it was doomed. Told you I wasn't the only one scared of her.

"Yes, so you two need to chill it. Go get your Cumbayas out," Chloe added. "Hell, go to Ben and Jerry's on third, get some chocolate ice cream and try to bond. You can both start with 'I'm sorry I called you a whore/changed your species and move on from there."

"Ugh, cuz, I have to unpack upstairs because I don't have another place to be. There's nothing I have to say to Glinda over there."

"Well I don't have a vocabulary limited enough for your pea brain," Z snapped.

Oliver looked between them and frowned then at me. I shrugged. Whatever had occurred to him, I had no idea. Some aliens could read minds. I could barely understand half the things women said. It was always so double layered (unless it was Diana; she was straight forward and I liked that). I made a note to ask him about that double take later.

"Z go buy her some ice cream, Lois play nice. Anyone comes back with a tail, they're out of the League permanently. Do you understand?" Chloe demanded.

Z stood up and Conner shifted in his seat, eyes flashing. I rolled my own. Of course her Oxford had lost the top button somehow. It was now just bordering on pornographic. "Fine. But only because I don't want Senator Kent to kill me."

Lois shrugged her shoulders. "If it makes you feel better, Chlo, and she does owe me a lot. Still, if I come back a duck, you'll know what happened."

"Meh, we'll fix it," Chloe replied nonchalantly, only letting out a long breath when both women exited the doors.

"Good," I said, flopping on the sofa. I noticed that Conner was finally not blinking so hard. Still, wished Z'd left before the kitchen counter in Watchtower flambeed. I was going to have to work on how to think more about baseball with him. He wasn't good with heat vision yet.

"I swear. I knew something like this would happen. I thought Zatanna and Lois could be adults about this, but that was asking a lot," Chloe said, starting toward the sofa, then hesitating, before changing direction to go to do more readouts with Oliver.

I ignored the pain that caused or Conner shaking his head in my direction.

"Still, uh," Oliver said, giving Chloe a quick peck. "Did anyone notice that Z and Lois had a certain vibe?"

"The 'I'm going to kill you now' vibe? Definitely ," I replied. "They really do seem to hate each other."

"Yeah, hate," he said. "I do sort of wish I'd met goat Lois. That would have been funny. How do you even tell the difference?"

"Ollie!"

"I'm just saying, sidekick. Sullivan-Lane women are stubborness incarnate."

"Goat Lois had more fur," Conner replied, shrugging. "Also, saggier tits."

"Conner, I don't...Chloe is there something incredibly boring he can do around Watchtower?"

"Yeah, someone has to check some code that's not running right. Conner, that's just for you."

"Watchtower!"

"Yes?" Chloe countered, glaring up at him. "Don't you think that's fair?"

Conner hesitated and, if it occurred to him he could crush Chloe between his index finger and thumb, he didn't show it. "Sure, Chloe, show me what I need to do."

I was sitting that night in Chloe and Oliver's suite, petting Shelby. I was going to move him tonight to living with me and Diana. I'd not really slept well the last two nights. If it wasn't thoughts about finding mom or Conner or Lois in pieces, it was nightmares about fur coats made out of Shelby and Lucky. It was weird. I'd had everything from Phantom Zone escapees to Doomsday to General Zod (more than once) out to kill me, but never been this afraid. I could fight back before and now I couldn't.

Now I was just at Granny's mercy, waiting for her to strike again. Sure, Zatanna was working on a decloaking spell, even consulting her father's Grimroire, but Granny hadn't been the right hand of Darkseid for centuries for no reason, she hadn't survived where the others perished for being easy to get to. I believed what she'd said. If Granny didn't want herself found...

...well I'm sure she would pop up some time, maybe to stab me in the back and gloat about it.

Yeah, I was probably never sleeping again and Conner disarming me faster than I could blink hadn't helped me.

"Hey, how are my two favorite guys?" Chloe asked, setting down her purse and sitting across from us on the sofa.

"Where's Ollie?"

"Ollie and Bruce have patrol. Diana's waiting downstairs. We were gonna grab a pizza from the bar. Then I was hoping we could try movies."

"At the movies?"

"Yes. I want to take Diana out to see the new Transformers ."

"Alright," I said, patting Shel's head. "I'll bite. Why on Earth would you take her to see that. I can't even get you to go with me."

"Exactly! Sexist shlock. We're gonna take her and challenge her to sit there, quietly, and deal with it without destroying the building."

"Chlo, I don't think this is a fair test. Even you wanted to eviscerate Michael Bay the first time."

"Diana's getting much better. We're upping her exposure to misogyny."

"Fine, but if she tears the theater down, I'm going on record now saying that I told you so."

She nodded. "Today was weird."

"For us?"

"Yeah, even for us. I can't believe she turned Lois into a goat. Can't we all be adults for three days straight?"

"Doesn't seem likely," I admitted. "I do feel bad. It's rough getting evicted."

"She'll find a new place, maybe it's for the best. I can't imagine living in a place I'd shared with Jimmy, you know?"

"Yeah, sort of takes the shine off a place post break up."

"Uh, yeah, and that was so awkward."

"I don't follow?" I asked, petting Shel some more.

"Conner really, really likes Lois, huh?"

"He's young. Seeing Z sets him off too. I mean he's a seventeen year old boy. Linoleum makes him think of sex."

"I know...I just...nothing."

"It's weird, I know. Conner's reactions on some level are sometimes what I'd do. Though, to be fair, Lex was always a brunette fan and Lois and Z are both that."

"I know, I just...it must be nice."

"What?"

"To be Lois or Z and be able to do that to you or at least the mini-me. I've never been that girl."

"Bullshit. You have Oliver gone on you. You know I'm in love with you. You know it."

"Yes."

"Conner's just hormonal. He probably shouldn't be allowed near a Victoria's Secret catalog for the next few months. You're not going to hold my half-clones teenage hormones against me, are you?"

"No, but it felt familiar all over."

I sighed and forced myself to keep petting the dog instead of walk over to her. "I love you, Chloe. I'm always going to. I figured everything out way too late and I'm gonna pay for it until Granny eviscerates me."

She started to cry then. "Granny's not going to kill you."

"Maybe, maybe not. They already took my powers. I'm a sitting duck and we all know it. If she wants me dead or, worse, a vegetable, she's going to get it, Chlo."

"I won't let her!"

"You're just one girl. I mean, you might even scare wizards and Kryptonians, but you're just a girl at the end of the day and the League's powerful, sure, but she just needs to get a good drop on me or detain Diana long enough to get her hands on my head and I'm not even me anymore, well, what's still left of me anyway."

She sniffled and shook her head. "I won't let her touch you, Clark. I've been in the you-saving business for going on seven years now. I'm pretty damn good at it."

I nodded. "And if I'd listened to you, I'd be me still."

"Maybe, but maybe this was supposed to happen."

"Not if you ask Skeets."

"Well maybe this is what you need to be right now. I...you've been more honest, more open with all of us since you became mortal. You're downright amazing with Conner. He's really blossoming with you when he could be going all Dark Side with Tess gone."

"I know, and, yeah, object lessons are great, but I still am leaving everyone I love either unguarded, forced to take up my slack or both. Chlo, Conner came to wake me up this morning and it freaked me out."

"Why?"

"He didn't mean to scare me. I was startled awake and tried swinging at him with a baseball bat."

"Did it bend?"

"No! I didn't even come close before he took it away from me. I know Furies don't move quite that fast, I do, but I'm really scared. I don't want to die, Chlo, not at all. Christ, I'm not even twenty-five."

I set my head in my hands then. I wasn't going to cry; I wasn't that guy. However, I didn't have it in me to keep eye contact with her any longer either. Soft hands were soon on my shoulder, rubbing it, and Chloe gave me a quick peck on my temple. "Clark, you're not gonna die."

"I...if she gets me, I don't blame you or the League, okay?"

"What?"

"If I do die or become a carrot, I know that you all did your best. The only thing we can't let happen is having Conner or Mom or Lois die too because of me, alright?"

"Clark!"

"I, promise me, Chlo, not my family. Granny can't have them."

She hugged me and I eased a little in her grip. Funny how much one, small human girl could comfort me. "Never, Clark, come on."

I nodded and stood, letting out an uneasy breath. "This experiment is going to fail. I'll probably have to drag both of you out!"

"Exposure therapy is a proven technique," Chloe quipped, giving Shelby a quick pat and walking with me to the front door. "She's really getting much better at American customs."

"True but this would be a graduate level class."

"Maybe, at least it's not still with Megan Fox," she finished, shutting the door and making sure it was locked.

"Chlo?"

"Mhm?" she asked, making sure to stay several feet ahead of me in the hallway.

"You're wrong you know."

"About?"

"About Conner."

"How so?"

"I told him about Cassie Sandsmark."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, he wants to get to know a girl cause, you know, that age, and I suggested one with abilities might understand him better."

"Yeah, I met Cassie. She's a nice kid."

"Besides," I said, smirking just a little at her. "Conner and I...we've always had a thing for blondes, especially of the kick-ass variety."


	25. Chapter 25

**25**

The clack of Diana's bo hitting mine made me concentrate even harder. I knew she was humoring me. That her reflexes and speed made her able to be me every match without effort, but that wasn't the point. She was working to give me the skills and the technique I needed. She was limiting herself to human reaction times and I was following her lead (not out of choice), parrying and thrusting with the staff, trying to match her blow-for-blow. She raised her weapon above her head to strike and I took the opening to surge forward, shoving my weapon into her stomach, knocking Diana off her feet and onto her back.

I didn't stop, just brought the bo down for a strike to her head, stopping last minute before shattering the wood on her. "Yield."

Diana nodded and got to her feet. "I'll give you a few minutes, Kal. You're sweating a lot and we have been going for over an hour. That was well done."

"You let me," I countered, grabbing water and gulping greedily.

"I don't use my strength and speed against you. I'm not a psychic like J'onn. I can't anticipate every move in that way. You had abilities once yourself. Sometimes it is possible for one to be surprised."

I grinned and wiped at my neck with a towel. It wasn't yet noon on Monday. Chloe would be coming by later tonight for taser and additional instruction on the scimitar (Diana and I did that too, but she was better at broad swords). Still, Diana and I had a lunch hour or two, really; it was nice to know the boss. We'd used it to do more combat training. I was beginning to not suck, and, yeah, muggers of Metropolis beware even if a bo was probably about as outdated as a long bow. However, it wouldn't stop Granny.

Oddly, the thought of being reduced to some type of gibbering mass scared me more. It was one thing to be dead. I'd done that, albeit not permanently. There was something about losing myself that scared me more. I'd already lost my identity as The Blur , lost my senses and perception of the world, had even lost some of my native intelligence. But I think a lot of it was related to what the Phantom had done to me. That has scared me badly, because, to be honest? The day my dad showed me my ship it had occurred to me that I'd had some kind of psychotic break. Be honest, I claim to be an alien with infinite powers and the last of his kind. Doesn't that sound crazy to you?"

I mean, yeah, it is true, except for the part where Darkseid stripped me.

Still, there are days I wonder where I'm not still back in Fairview, gibbering in a corner and this is all some bizarre illusion in my head.

The thought Granny could scramble my mind even more thoroughly scared the ever living Hell out of me. Grabbing, my staff, I started back to the mat, frowning when Diana touched my shoulder and shook her head. "What?"

"Kal, we've been at this for too long. You have more work to do as do I and you need to take your days of rest and pace yourself. Chloe will be over here in about seven hours to do scimitar training anyway. You'll be in this room by six-thirty tomorrow morning to work more on sparring with Bruce. You need to pace yourself."

"Granny won't let me pace myself," I countered. "We're getting deeper into the summer, it'll be August in a week. Bruce, Chloe, Ollie? They're all leaving soon. I need to be able to defend myself."

"And if you were to pull a hamstring or tear a muscle, you'll be useless for months to everyone. I know you want to be the best as fast as you can, but you have limits now. You're shaking and breathing pretty hard. You have to learn when to listen too."

"I feel fine."

Diana sighed and I found myself on my knees faster than I could blink. It took me longer than I'd have liked to get myself standing and, yeah, I was a little dizzy. "You managed to best a goddess today, even if I wasn't using my speed and strength. Take pride in what you've managed and give your body respite."

"But Granny-"

"You're safe as houses here, and you know that. Rest. No one asks you to be all things at once, we just ask that you try. Bruce won't forgive me if you show up tomorrow with something torn."

"He seems half the time like he is trying to get me to tear things, you know?"

"He knows how to train one safely, as do I. There's a difference between demanding absolute effort and attention and pushing beyond what one can do. Today, you have reached a new level in your competence. Tonight, perhaps yet more."

I sighed and sat down at the small table in the corner of the dojo, grateful when Diana followed and offered me more water. "I am a little tired."

"After two hours, more than forgivable."

"You are a pretty good mentor, though," I admitted. "But you have practice, huh?"

She nodded. "I've had women under me and taught many things."

"If I were Oliver, I'd take that opening for a joke."

She shrugged. "You are not. You're far too polite for it."

I blushed. I wasn't very good at innuendo unless red K was involved. "I know. I, uh, actually meant with Cassie. Chloe said that you'd really taken her under your wing after she'd been all inventive and, um, a little larceny-y and helped save you first."

"Cassie is remarkable. I have no great love lost for Zeus. The way he treats my sisters-both divine and mortal-is appalling."

I frowned, trying to remember eleventh grade world literature. "Swans and golden light and maybe a bull? I forget. Cassie's dad might have gotten around a little." I blanched. "Oh God, did he...with her mom?"

Diana frowned. "As far as I know it wasn't without consent. He was lying to her at the time, pretending to be human."

"Well who doesn't do that," I muttered.

"You came clean eventually to Lana and, at the time, as far as I've been told, you were mortal. You had a whole summer of it before, yes?"

"Yeah but I knew it was always going to end. I knew the Fortress was never going to really let me out of my destiny. This is different. I know I'm like this for keeps."

"True, but while Cassie is everything one could hope for in a pupil-smart, dedicated, brave-her father is a disgrace to the pantheon."

"More and Artemis and Athena fan, eh?"

"Assuredly so. I've been working with her when she's not in school in D.C. for about a year."

"D.C.?"

"Yes, I can't remember which school, public though. Her mother works for the Smithsonian. I trust you've heard of it and visited it by now."

"I went to see Air and Space when mom got sworn in. It's amazing."

"Yes, her mother is an archaeologist."

"Greek stuff?"

"Of course. Why are you inquiring about my protege? Are you looking for tips now that you have one of your own?"

"Conner and I are complicated. I mean, he's not just some kid who was Blur-crazed. He's me, kind of, and he's Lex, kind of, but he's also his own guy. I'm never sure if I'm too parental with him or not enough."

"I assure you that is normal whether you're related or not.

"Cool. I just...well, caught. Conner's kind of lonely."

"I see," she said, frowning. "He has friends in Washington, does he not?"

"Yeah and us, but he's just...he's seventeen and girls are perking his interest and, I dunno-"

"You would like for me to help you set up our, how do you call it, 'mini-mes?'"

I blushed. "I'm sure Conner will be a gentleman. I mean, yeah, he's half Lex and Lex was always pretty worldly and stuff but he's half me and I'm a gentleman."

Diana laughed and I sighed. Yes, definitely, in another universe she'd have been someone I could have liked as more than just a teammate. "If you give me Conner's number, I will give it to Cassie. I can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"And she's blonde, right?"

Diana laughed again. "Kal, you are so very transparent. Yes, she is."

"Good, I told him that. Mini-me definitely likes blondes best."

"So does the full adult version," Diana said dryly. "I'll work on it. I suppose it's noble of you."

"How so? The kid's lonely and I think a girl with powers will understand him better, and, to be honest, less accidents or traction for both of them."

"True, I have noticed things melted around the Watchtower."

"Z needs to wear more clothes," I said. "Anyway, how is it noble?"

"I...you have let my sister go beautifully, and now are trying to give your brother Conner opportunities you never had or, more accurately, never took in order to make him happy. You are a credit to your sex."

I snickered and finished my drink. "We had to drag you out of the theater thirty minutes in before you tore the screen down because of all the gratuitous ass shots. You don't think anything of my sex."

"I think highly of you and Bruce, Conner too for the most part."

"And Ollie?"

Diana shrugged. "What is the expression? I think that Chloe could have done better."

I blinked, having nothing to say to that.

"He's young, Clark," Bruce said, striking at me about three-quarter speed with his left arm. I grabbed the blow out of the air and moved to angle it for the break. I didn't get that far, dropped his arm after making the motion slowly. I was practicing how to take a block and make it an offense rebuttal. I couldn't actively break Bruce's arm, but I was practicing the motions so that on someone else, at faster speeds, it'd be automatic.

I didn't like the idea of maiming people, even criminals, but Bruce had a point. I couldn't always be certain I'd knock them out like I'd always been able to at full strength. If snapping a wrist kept me from getting stabbed, I could understand the logic in that.

I didn't want Chloe or mom to go to my funeral.

Sighing, I assumed my stance again and worked the mirror image of the move as Bruce struck with his right. "We were all seventeen once. Oliver has his old yearbook so I know even you were."

"Do you think it's best for there to be such entanglements?"

"Between Conner and Wonder Girl? I dunno yet. You and Diana have a thing. Oliver and Chloe are getting vow renewed. It does happen. We're with each other a lot, we know each other's secrets. It makes sense that we'd date among each other."

"He's still young, especially considering his origins. It's a little early for him to be trying to date."

"It's a movie, Bruce," I countered this time grabbing his leg and bringing down my elbow at his knee, again not breaking anything but clearly aping the correct movement at partial speed.

"I have heard people enjoy those. Diana doesn't seem to."

"Wow, a second joke. Do you need some water?" I asked ducking as he roundhouse kicked at me face.

"No, but I think she would be a woman who'd appreciate a nice opera."

I snickered. "Wagner, definitely." Off Bruce's gape, I sighed. "I'm from Kansas not Mayberry. Also, for good or ill, Lex was my best friend for like five years. I learned a lot of boring rich people things from him. Luthors? Huge opera fans, though more Mozart."

"I'm sorry, that was rude."

I blocked an uppercut and threw one of my own. "Nah, people think farm and they think deprived. Chlo did when she first met me and I showed her the barn. I think she was gonna go into conniptions when she realized we actually had a computer and the internet."

"A fate worse than death for Chloe, yes, life without the 'net," he said, stopping and heading to the wall. I took that break to gather in some breath and to keep stretching. We were five hours in and the first round of cramps were beginning to creep in. "Still, they're young and immature. Heartbreak for either of them would be bad."

"They could be great together, even just as friends. I mean it has to be hard for Cassie to be a girl with superstrength and all that knowledge that not only are Greek gods real but she's one of them. I worry all the time about Conner. He jokes about it, but I know it eats him up his a clone. He talks about coming from a petri dish way too much for him to actually be that relaxed about it."

"A next generation support group then," Bruce asked, handing something to me.

I frowned at the gloves and heavy metal gauntlet spikes. "We're going for Mortal Kombat ? Diana and Chloe have the weapons part."

"And so Diana has told me. You're coming along well with the bo and even the scimitar. I'm-"

"You're never pleased," I joked.

"Mollified, then. The taser..."

"I only shocked Chloe the once! She got better after thirty minutes."

"You may need more work on that one," Bruce said charitably. "These are not so much weapons as reactions for blocks. They're enhancers. I assume when you finish designing what you want in a patrol out fit, you'll include gauntlets for their obvious usefulness."

"So I can be your mini-me?"

Bruce sighed and strapped on a set of his own. "The more weapons the better. My mentor in Bhutan used these with me often. You'd be amazed at how well they'll stop a sword."

"Really?"

He nodded and picked up a lithe blade, not nearly as heavy as the ones Diana preferred to wield when she had free reign of his weapons' collection. "Exactly, now take the first position. And pay attention."

I gulped at the sword in his hands.

Bruce didn't have to tell me twice.

"So," Ollie said, casually. "You're getting a costume?"

I frowned for more than once reason. It was August first. No leads on Granny, less than six weeks before Chloe was out of my town permanently and less than eight before she renewed her vows. I was doing much better, felt stamina and strength I never knew I'd find. I just...time was running out, my time with Bruce's tutelage, my time with Chloe still in my day to day life in person, maybe my life itself, depending on what Granny had in mind.

It made a guy nervous.

"Yes," I replied, pushing aside some of the budget summaries for the Watchtower he was reading over back in his hotel suite. "R and D, you know? I already did get into a serious brainstorm with Lucius about how to improve you and Bruce's armor. It'll never be flexible and resist a straight shot at the same time. Movement sacrifices the safety."

"But you need to be able to move."

"Exactly. I'm not a math genius but I can research. There was a lab out in New Mexico that had been working on a polymer that can strengthen the body armor. Again, try not to get a straight shot, but it'll still be better than what you had. Bruce is having his suit redone this week. I assume you'll want the same?"

"Nah, bullet wounds are fun!"

"So that's just one of you then," I said, smirking at him. "Well if we found the right polymer blend and you and Bruce are upgrading. It makes sense that I'd get something of my own."

"So you going my route?"

"Leather-like fetish, hardly. People talk."

"Let 'em. I have the hottest blonde this side of the Mississippi on my arm."

I sighed but let it go. I'd learn to deal better with the pain; I knew I would.

"True, and the cod piece to compensate. OUCH!" I hissed when the thrown pillow hit my still sore nose. "Don't be a jerk."

"The cod piece is to scale," he huffed.

"If you say so. I dunno. Chloe has a look to her with just the kevlar and leather jacket and, yeah, when I go out with Diana or J'onn I don't mind it, but I want to be safer I guess. Bruce is overkill and looks terrifying. I don't want a cowl."

"Do you want a cape?"

I blushed and looked back down at my note for Lucius. "Not that much."

"Oh my god! You want a cape!"

"It's not really a cape. It's a memory fabric and he like parasails with it! I never got to fly. I'd settle for hang gliding with it."

"You want a cape. So you're gonna be like Bruce but without a bat-shaped mask?"

"No! I was thinking navy for my colors and, I guess, still with the 'El' shield. Navy and no cowl makes it completely different. Oh and no stupid cod pieces."

He snickered. "You get shot there and then you'll wish you had one."

Huh, embarrassing or not, Oliver did have a point. Maybe I'd revise that no codpiece rule. If they were bullet proof then that did make logical sense.

"Okay, then yeah, I don't mind Bruce's overall idea. I never got the leather fetish thing or the no sleeves."

"Uh-huh. When's the wedding?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not a copy cat or infatuated. It's just practical."

"Copycat-Man, defender of Metropolis."

"I was doing this long before any of you got off of islands or out of Asia. I'm the original."

"Just saying, you two will match. It'll be cute at meetings."

"Fuck you, Ollie."

"You're just jealous cause I have more style."

"Boys, boys," Chloe said, smiling at both of us and I gulped. She'd come out from their bedroom with an assistant-Chloe had one now-trailing behind her, making notes. My friend was wearing the dress she was planning to wear at the wedding (technically for the press and her cover "Anne Hatcher" their first ceremony and not a renewal). It wasn't like what she'd worn with Jimmy, not a princess type thing, no bows. It was sleek and simple and reminded me of stuff that mom's favorite, Audrey Hepburn, would have worn.

I'll admit it. The problem of being an only child was that mom did some of the girl stuff with me. It made me an excellent cook and baker, but I also had seen more chick flicks than a guy my age should have.

"Sidekick, you look amazing," Ollie said, beaming and kissing her. "All of Star City will be jealous as hell."

"Great Chlo," I said, working overtime not to blush. "Isn't this bad luck?"

"Meh, it's a superstition and, besides, we're already married. I had to get the final measurements right for the adjustments," she finished. "Ollie, you're going out with Bruce tonight, right?"

"But be back in time enough for you, Goldilocks."

I rolled my eyes, kill me now.

"Great. Clark and I can do errands downtown." Code for Watchtower work when civilians were present.

"I think Lois is already gonna meet you there," Oliver said, a little stiffly. "Should be fun for everyone."

Yeah, my ex, the girl I loved but couldn't have, and that fun fact they were related. Great.

"Cool," she chirped, disengaging from Oliver and heading back to the door, her assistant following behind her. She hesitated when she looked down at my sketches, most computer-rendered. "I like it, Clark. It's good."

After she was gone, I stuck out my tongue at Oliver. "Ha, told you!"

"So," Chloe said, starting to link her arm through mine but then thinking better of it at the last minute. I sighed. "Friday's the big day, right?"

"Conner's a nervous wreck. He's already called me five times for fashion advice and it's just Tuesday!"

"Wow, he's asking you for dating attire advice. Poor bastard. I hope he has Lex's sartorial preferences. I love you, Clark, but flannel? Not hot. The same three preschool colors? Also not hot."

"Purple is not a dating option for guys."

She chuckled as we walked down ninth together. "Lex does carry it off well."

"So did Tess, proves nothing, just that Luthors have a Caesars fetish. I could advise someone on how to look great!"

"No, you couldn't, Blur. Please, have him send me and Lois a text with his thoughts on his outfit. We'll help him."

"Lois isn't great at it. She tried to suggest I get a hood and glasses as a disguise. Do I look like Ollie?"

Chloe stilled for a beat and shrugged. "Nope, but we know what works on a guy. Plaid is a date killer, Clark."

"Maybe Cassie's not shallow like you are," I mock huffed.

"Tell Conner to text me first. Hell, let's turn this process over to Aunt Chloe. You're a terrible dater, Clark. He shouldn't ask you for advice."

"I'm not that bad! I've come a long way from not-a-dates with Lana."

"Uh-huh. You sure Kryptonians aren't colorblind?"

"Nope, besides, wardrobe freakouts aside, I think he's really nervous. I know it's just a small thing, just dinner and he thinks they'll go to see the new Planet of the Apes ."

"Yes, nothing says young romance like monkeys overthrowing humanity."

"Hmm, maybe Conner shouldn't go to a throw over humanity film, actually."

"I'm kidding. I'm sure whatever they see, they'll have a great time. There aren't a lot of superstrong teen heroes out there. I assume they'll have tons in common."

"I...yeah, but I get it. Dating's a blood sport."

"Don't need to remind me. Have my Prince Charming."

"Queen Charming," I snickered. Yes, I am four. Yes, his name does amuse me. Deal.

"Still, I think Conner and Cassie could really be cute together."

I rolled my eyes at Chloe's use of the word "cute." Sometimes, Watchtower could be a real girl. Reaching down, I pressed in the code to open the main entrance for the 'Tower and we both entered and made it briskly to the elevator, Chloe's metal key giving us access to the top floor. "Hmm, blonde superheroine and a Kryptonian. I've seen it work before."

She gave me smile number three as she stepped next to me on the elevator. Reaching over she squeezed my hand. "Almost."

As the doors shut, I sighed and leaned over to stroke her cheek. "Always. I...you really have a pretty dress Chlo. If I still had heat vision-"

"Clark," she warned, shifting under my gaze. "Just thank you for the compliment. I can tell Oliver really loves it too. I...he's happy you're being so supportive. The wedding wouldn't be right if you weren't there, you know?"

"I do," I replied, squeezing her shoulder and then breaking contact. I wanted to kiss her so badly, maybe a few years ago I would have, feelings of other people be damned.

"Yup. I...you're just doing so well overall. Martha's thrilled. Bruce and Diana aren't effusive by nature but they think you're great!"

"I know. What about you?"

She swallowed and looked up at me. When she spoke her voice was husky. "You're a hero."

"Oh Chlo," I said, getting off the elevator and holding open the main door for her. "I'm just not getting my ass kicked ninety percent of the time. Now it's like seventy-five and Oh My God!"

"Holy Shit!" Chloe shouted looking between my face and the sofa of Watchtower, the sofa where Lois and Z were making out with each other.

Already shirtless.

Good thing Conner wasn't here or the whole tower would have been nuked.

"Smallville?" Lois shouted and I kept my eyes closed for a long time, listening through fabric rustling and zippers zipping. "What the Hell?"

"Lo, we were coming to help Z with some recon and decloaking spell rundowns. What are you doing here?" Chloe asked, tone clipped.

"Well, I live here, cuz, duh."

"Clark," Z said, her tone quieter than usual for her. "We're both dressed. I even magicked myself up a sweatshirt. We're decent."

I looked up and blushed. Z's hair as mussed and Lois had lipstick all over her. It was just...I didn't love Lois. I'd been fond of her. I'd cared about her a lot and still did as a friend, assumed we had an amazing and fated future together. If I were honest, I thought the sex was good. I'd certainly never heard any complaints from her. So what in the Hell was she doing making out with Zatanna of all people?

Had I?

There was no way I was that bad in bed, no way!

"I don't understand. I just...what the Hell is going on?" I sputtered.

"Clark, it's not what it looks like," Zatanna started.

"So you two weren't rounding several bases on a work shift and I didn't see both of you here topless?"

"Lois, Z, I know we said get along better but...this is very confusing," Chloe said, her voice as soft and subdued as Z's.

"Cuz, I know. I...it just happened. I can't even...this is the first time it got this far, I swear."

"Not an excuse. You want to make out, you both do it when someone's already relieved you of duty," Chloe said firmly. "Your personal time is your own, Zatanna. Don't confuse the two again. Lois?"

"Yeah?"

"You and Zatanna should go get some dinner. I...we need a minute."

Lois, blushing a little, nodded as well. "Right. Z, you coming?"

Zatanna nodded and both women were out of the 'Tower in record time.

"Goddamn it!" I yelled and I was kicking ineffectually at the iron railing of the Watchtower stairs before I even knew it.

About three months ago, I could have kneaded it like Play-Dough between my fingers, melted it to nothing with a look, frozen it as deeply as liquid nitrogen with my breath. Today I couldn't get it to budge and my right leg was getting sore. Chloe, actually daring to touch me for once, pulled me off and pressed on my shoulders until I sagged in on myself and sat on the bottom stairs. I didn't have the energy anymore.

"What is the matter with you? You could have hurt yourself."

"You think! I...what am I supposed to do, Chloe? I can do some math still and I know I have five weeks until you go home and seven about until I have to give you away and it's killing me because I care about both you and Ollie and I'm not gonna be that jerk again. I'm not, but it's hard to even breathe."

"I...you don't have to come. You were there with Jimmy and now that you...that you heard how Skeets said it was going to be...it's not really fair. I'd understand."

"I've always been there before," I said, not really sure if reminding her she was on her third ceremony at almost twenty-five was a good thing or not. "I'll be here again. It's just...there's no one else. Even if could get over you, I'm tired, Chlo. I'm very tired. I'm not myself anymore cause the gold K fried everything I was, but I'm not human either. I can't do it again, can't try and have a relationship and explain down the line to some woman-who will never even match you by the way-that I'm not like everyone else and 'oh yeah, do you want a teenager with heat vision?'"

"You don't have abilities," she countered.

"I don't anymore because of an accident. My DNA's fine, so any kid I had..."

"Would be like Conner," she finished, biting her lip first and then switching to smile number four and I let her pat my shoulder like I was six because I didn't have the energy to fight anymore. I just didn't. "There's someone out there for you, you know. I...I had thought that Lois would have gotten her shit together over the General. I did half expect you to bounce back, I did."

I snorted and looked out the large stain glass window. "She seems to be batting for the other side currently. I...how did I turn your cousin gay?"

Chloe shook her head. "That's a misnomer and wrong idea. Sexuality's more fluid than that, like a Kinsey scale thing. Lois had a few flings around the base when she was younger. I mean, yeah, mostly guys, but Z's not her first."

I blushed. "I can't...I thought she loved me. Apparently it's not just the powers that were her thing. I must not even have the right, um, you know, for her. God, I'm such a fucking loser."

Her hand was on my back, hesitantly at first and then rubbing wide circles over my shoulder. "You're not. Lois...I told you. She has her own hangups. I know it's hard for you to think you made your fiance, you know, but you didn't. She's just always been bisexual."

"I suck. I drove her into the arms of a woman she hates. I'm so pathetic. I drove her to Z, you to Ollie. Back in the day I shoved Lana to Lex. Everyone leaves me."

"I...Clark, this isn't-"

I sighed and swiped at my eyes. "It's always about us, Chloe. We should have been together from spring formal on, at least after Dark Thursday. Skeets saw the real future where we were going to be the Lois Lane and Superman. We've fought it so long, Chloe, and I don't want to fight it anymore. No other woman has ever understood me like you do. No woman will ever want to deal with a handicapped alien anyway. I just...Chloe, this is a low blow but it hurts so much less than the day you told me you and Ollie were renewing."

"Clark-"

Maybe I had more Conner in me than I thought. I leaned down then and kissed her, holding her as she struggled at first a bit, then she relaxed and returned the gesture. After a long while of urgency and need, I pulled back and grinned at her. "I love you, Chloe. No other woman, not even Lois, she wouldn't be you, Chlo. None of them would ever be you."

She slapped me across the nose and I hissed; it was still healing after all. "I'll call Diana. You can't be left alone here. I know that. I get that. I...I'll be in the sick bay until she comes. Clark, I have the dress. The invitations are sent. Oliver's been my fucking husband under the radar for six months. I...don't come to the wedding."

"What?"

"Don't come. You'll do this there. I know you, what you did with Lana or wanted to do. Just don't, Clark. I'm going home tomorrow. I can't do this anymore."

"You are home!"

" Star City ," she corrected, standing up and walking to the medical alcove. "Bruce and Diana have you covered. You have a job. You have a good lead on what you're going to be like post-Blur. You can defend yourself well enough with blades, gauntlets, and staffs, if not tasers. With Diana as your shadow and bodyguard. I've done my job. You know I have."

"You job wasn't supposed to be make me outgrow you. I was never supposed to do that, other than vertically!"

She snorted and placed on hand on the sick bay doors. "You outgrew me forever the day you left me weeping on this floor, broken and alone. I love you Clark, I do. But this is never happening and I'm going home ." She slammed the doors in my face then and I could already hear her fumbling through her purse for her cell and leaving me alone, hoping to god she wasn't going to tell anyone what I'd broken down and done.

Sighing, I put my head in my hands and forced myself not to sob. She was right; this place did amplify the loneliness. I couldn't imagine what it had been like, being here alone for months, being here even as I'd left her, but I was beginning to get a better idea.

One I didn't want at all.


	26. Chapter 26

**26**

I didn't stay.

I wasn't thinking. I know I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to be in the Watchtower anymore. It was too painful. It was where I'd left Chloe to almost kill herself, where I'd hit her, where we'd fought more times than I can name. It was where I'd been exiled after becoming mortal and where I'd just walked in on my ex-fiance kissing another woman .

It was where Chloe had slapped me and basically told me to go to Hell not two minutes ago. I was supposed to wait, to be dutiful and good and patient, to make sure Diana or someone as powerful as she was watching my back.

Screw that.

I could hear Chloe talking quickly with Diana and I just...I didn't want to deal with it, with the knowing looks or the "I expected more" attitude. Grabbing my red jacket, I hurried out the door quietly, relying on Chloe's on pain and distraction, her own search for a lie good enough to bring Diana here without alerting her to what we'd done to Oliver, to keep her from noticing.

I hurried down to the street and took the first cab I found, one that took credit. I had a stable bank account and expense record thanks to what I'd had before I'd been fired by Lex and also from what I now had coming in from the farm sale and from Bruce. It would be more than enough to pay for where I was going, even if it was a long trip.

"Smallville," I said, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window of the taxi.

Willing myself to forget the disastrous night just barely begun.

Dad's grave was well tended. The people at the cemetery did a good job with it, and they always had. I'd left flowers for it back during my not wedding in May, fake ones of good caliber, ones that would last until I replaced them again during the fall. The only indication that anyone had been there was the small clump of replaced dirt by the headstone from where mom and J'onn had dug up my father's watch almost two months ago. The one that would never work right again.

It wasn't the only thing around here like that.

I knelt down low to the ground, facing the large letters before me, flashing back not just to all that had happened with Brainiac Five at Homecoming or with burying the watch, but to the day we'd buried him here, the snow and cold that even then seemed to bite into me, no matter how invulnerable I'd been.

"I'm so sorry. I keep trying to be the man you raised, to be what mom wants me to be. I've made so many mistakes. I know when I saw you in the fall you said it was okay and that I could learn. I...I think I even saw you in the church as crazy as that sounds, but I didn't learn anything. After you died, I did so many horrible things. I tried to get Lana to run away with me. It's almost five years later and I just did the same with Chloe. I can't even say no to adultery. How am I supposed to be anything?"

I took a deep, steadying breath and looked at my hands.

"I should have come here when my powers were lost. I should have been here to explain everything to you, I don't even know why, but you should know. I fucked up so badly. I'm not anyone special anymore. I'm not powerful. I'm not The Blur . I've had my problems with him, yes, but even Jor-El's written me off as broken. I just have failed so hard. I thought I could be better, but I make the same damn mistakes over and over."

Closing my eyes, I bowed me head.

"I think that, a lot of the time, I deserved what I got, that maybe I just wasn't ready to be either the world's hero or for my abilities, even after the last decade. I just...I'm sorry."

The clapping behind me made me still. I didn't want to open my eyes or to look behind me. However, if it was coming from whom I thought, I was going to stand and face her, die on my feet like the hero I'd always wanted to be. Getting up, I took a breath and turned around. Granny was alone.

I didn't assume this meant no Furies were around, just that she didn't have a full slew between us currently.

"Granny."

"Kal-El."

"Is tonight the night?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. If it were, I'd have brought my girls."

"I'm sure they're around."

"Harriet, yes. She's so anxious to disembowel you, make use of her talons."

I shuddered and looked behind me. In the dark, my vision was shit. Even squinting through my glasses, I saw nothing. "So why are you here?"

"Entertainment. I have a long time to wait, like I said. Human misery or close-enough in your case, human misery is like a sumptuous feast to me. It is to all the prophets."

"So just you," I snapped.

"Someone will come around to break bodies and bind their spirits. There is never a shortage of candidates."

I nodded. "How do you even-"

"When you have access to the Dark Arts, there's so much you can overhear, so many options for how to follow someone. You may need to learn more from your witch."

"Zatanna's a wizard."

"Then that," she said and that red light arched between the fingers on her right hand.

I stepped back and felt the sweat already beginning to pour down my face. "Not that."

"Not time either," she replied. "Oh Kal-El. Did you know how noble your race was?"

"I've been told. A lot."

"How pathetic you are, how sad. Even if we hadn't stripped you, you'd be running around moping, pretending to be human. I mean, now you're close enough, but before, you were a god, and you still worried what the humans in your life thought of you, especially the gone ones."

"Dad...I'll always miss him."

"Your mother has a life in the capital. She may have played Red Queen but she has a life far beyond you and what you need of her. Chloe clearly doesn't love you any more than her cousin does. At least she's in love with another man. That...Lois and that witch, how badly that must sting. Maybe you're not very good beneath the sheets."

I shuddered. Granny was ancient. I just...innuendo from her made me nauseated. "Shut up."

"They don't need you Kal-El. You mother and Chloe barely needed you when you were a god. Now that you're nothing but weak, even Lois has no need of you." She snickered and let her eyes wander down my body. "Not one part even."

"I know."

"How does it feel, to be replaceable, to be obsolete? To know that the world has gone on without you and may not have needed you at all?"

"I...someone needs me." My voice was smaller than I wanted it to be.

Granny took a step forward and held up her hand, it was so bright in the dark Kansas night, like flames. "Ask me, and I'll do it."

"I don't understand."

"I'll take all your pain, Kal-El. They all leave you in the end. You birth parents and your cousin, your father and mother on Earth, your friends, your lovers. They always leave you but they don't have to, not anymore."

"They'd...they'd still be gone."

Granny took a step toward me and I tired to back up, really I did, but I just couldn't manage it. What she said cut so deeply. I could give up, couldn't I? I'd fought for so long and what had it ever gotten me?"

"But you wouldn't care. I'm not the bad guy here, Kal-El. I always took care of my girls. They came to me, orphans in pain like you, and I took their pain, gave them greatness. Do you want a purpose? I could use another prophet. Would you break bodies as well as De Saad?"

"I...no," I said, snapping out of it. "I don't hurt people."

"They hurt you," she said, inching forward, and I was stumbling back, cursing when I tripped over a root and landed splayed out on the ground, glasses slipping from my face.

I was frantically crawling on all fours then, trying to find my glasses so I could see, trying to slip them on so I could run, assuming that Harriet wasn't going to gut me if I bolted and that was a losing bet. Feeling desperately, I crawled to the left and hissed when my knee crunched into glass. Blinking up, in the night, I could make the red glow of her hand getting closer to me. I shifted, basically crab-walking away from her, backing into a tree.

"No. I said no."

"No one's here, Kal-El. They don't need you."

"I-"

She was almost on me and felt the bark biting into me as I struggled to stand, to do anything to avoid her grasp.

"I need him," a familiar voice called out. There was a blur and then Conner was standing between us. "Back off, grandma."

"How cute. The little one," Granny said and I could see well enough to see that the light from her hand was extinguished.

Conner was helping me to my feet now. "Back off bitch."

Granny sighed, growing bored. "You even look like Lutessa a little, have her coloring, her penchant for lost causes. Conner, give him to me. He's not worth your trouble, son."

"I said 'back off,'" Conner warned and one of the trees off behind Granny's shoulder was alight. "If I have to say it a third time, we'll see how invulnerable you are."

Granny shook her head. "Kal-El, another time. Think about my offer. I can take your pain; I can give you a mission again. Darkseid will always need someone loyal to him, always. You won't be replaced. Conner, Lutessa would be proud." With that, she gathered her shawl around her and muttered something terse and foreign. Red light blazed around her and she was gone.

Fucking mystics.

I collapsed to the ground then, shivering, not saying anything even when J'onn showed up and dragged me back to my mother's home in Georgetown.

"Clark, sweetheart?" mom asked, slipping into the room and placing a tray by my bed. She had made me oatmeal and even added my favorite mix of stewed apples (homemade) to it. "Baby, you have to eat."

I sighed and rolled over onto my left side. "I don't feel like it."

"It's been two days. I...Diana's coming from Metropolis today with Bruce. If you don't feel like you can go home, then they'll finish your combat training here."

"What's the point?" I huffed, pulling my sheet over my head.

Mom pulled it back down. "Clark, I know that it must have been so hard, what happened in Watchtower, but you put yourself in danger running off like that. If your brother hadn't heard you, your memory would have been scrambled."

"I wanted it to be," I said, still not looking at her. I was quiet. I didn't have the energy to fight anymore. Lois's new found connection with Zatanna had opened a host of oddly normal guy insecurities but Chloe's rejection had buried me under with so much more and I just didn't care after the Sullivan-Lane one-two punch I'd been dealt.

"It isn't...that's an illusion, Clark. Your memories make you who you are, just like your father and I would have told you after that incident in senior year. We'd have let you know yourself."

"I don't want to know me. Me is a loser."

"I know that catching Lois like that, that it had to have hurt. Honey, you keep having blow after blow, but I'm here and Conner. J'onn and Bruce and Diana, Oliver and Chloe."

I sighed at the mention of her name. "Wait Lois?"

"Yes, Chloe called and explained you'd run from Watchtower after everything with Lois and Zatanna. Your brother was listening for you and that how he found you. I...was there something else?"

I shook my head. Chloe didn't want Oliver to know what had happened and I didn't either. It didn't matter now. I wouldn't be going back to Metropolis for a while. She and Ollie would be back in Star City by then. It just didn't matter. "No. Mom, I want everything to stop hurting so much."

"I know you do, and I can't even understand how bad you feel. Honey, Bruce and Diana both want you to have until Saturday off. It'll take them time to tie up loose ends and get here anyway. I think a break is good for you."

"I know and I can't...I didn't break my ass for months to stop my training. Bruce would never do that or Oliver," I said, not even able to say her name. Chloe was my reason for fighting, for trying to stay a mortal in the fray as she was, to avoid holding her cold and still to me ever again.

It'd be so much hard to get through Bruce's regime or my repeated ass-kickings by Diana without Chloe motivating me. Hell, who was I kidding. I'd still flashback to the world the Phantom had made, of her dead in my arms. I could live another fifty years and it would always drive me, always be my reason. I might not have her love or her by my side, but damn if she was going to die on my watch.

Mom reached down and stroked my hair. "I'm proud of you. We're all so proud. Get rest, baby. No one...that's a hard blow and I can't even understand. Sweetheart, we're not going to judge."

"I know mom. I just...you still need me, right?"

"Baby?"

"I...uh, Lois clearly has moved right on. Chloe has Ollie. You even have J'onn at home and so much at work as a senator, Conner to care for as well. I feel like no one really needs me, not the washed up almost-human version."

She leaned down, kissed my temple, and I shut my eyes, pretending I was eleven again and mom could really make it all better. "I'll always need you, no matter what version, Clark."

"I...good, at least someone does."

"Baby?"

"I...nothing mom, nothing at all."

I had to beg mom not to stick around. She was doing fundraisers at night even if the senate was in summer recess. I didn't need her around all day, looking after me, giving me concerned looks and prodding me to talk about my feelings. She assumed, as did everyone but Chloe, of course, that my depression was about Lois's new relationship. I let everyone think it. I couldn't explain what I'd done, that I really had been that guy again, even after I promised Oliver I wouldn't be. I couldn't explain what I'd done and I couldn't explain how badly I felt knowing that I'd realized what Chloe was to me far too late and lost her. It was easiest to live with the lie, let them thing it was an epic Lois mope, than admit the truth.

Still, I had managed to convince mom to go on her basic routine. J'onn was still glued to her at my insistence. I was passing time with Conner, helping him collect himself and get prepped for The Big Date. He never left my side, even if I was moping in my room watching Saved by the Bell reruns and eating Cheetos (I was having an off, well life, okay), he was there. I think me almost getting my brain sucked out had scared him.

Oddly, it only had half-frightened me. I kept imagining a life where I didn't have to remember Chloe, to have the last twelve years of history and pain and missed chances gone from my mind forever, to be able to forget I'd ever been so much more than human either.

I was scared if Granny ever came for me alone again, terrified I'd jump at her offer as I almost had at dad's grave. I could see myself taking her "gift."

No matter what it cost others or myself.

Still, I was mopey, even for me. I was sitting at home on Friday, still up in my room, watching a rerun of The Soup half heartedly. Mom and J'onn were downstairs going over her fundraising and public appearance schedule. Conner had been out already for three hours with Cassie and I was expecting him home pretty soon. He wasn't an idiot. He wasn't ready for anything way extracurricular with Cassie, and, even if he thought he was, he was smart enough to realize that Diana would put him in a body cast.

I was laughing perfunctory about a joke on some random E! show when there was a breeze in my room, which caused my orange juice to spill all over my bedside stand. "Conner, damn it!"

Mini-me blurred into reality in front of me. Frowning just long enough to notice that I was still in my flannel pj bottoms and my grey sleep shirt. "Really? Did you bathe today?"

"I'll do it tonight so I'll be clean for round two of training with Mein Fuhrer and Wondy, why?"

Conner sniffed. "Dude, you reek."

"Well that's why my door was shut! I was moping in piece."

"I know and mom's been all 'give Clark space,' and I get that."

"But? Do tell. How was the date?"

Conner sighed and it ruffled my hair. Huh, I might want to get on helping him harness the arctic breath thing. "It went really well. She's funny and smart and she's not hung up on the petri dish thing. Hell, her parents might be almost as weird as mine."

I had to chuckle. "You mean weirder than you have two dads and one's Lex and one was The Blur ?"

"I said it was close!"

"Cool. Uh, you didn't do anything with her that would make Diana break knee caps, did you?"

Conner blushed. "No! I mean, yeah, we're seventeen so we did kiss but it's not like I felt her up. I was a total gentleman."

"Good, cause I can't keep Diana from defending Cassie's honor if you hadn't been."

"No, dude, I'm fine. I...Cassie's a really good kisser."

I rolled my eyes, but tried not to insult my brother. He deserved the happiness. Even if I had a hopelessly ruined love life, didn't mean mini-me had to too. "Good, just keep it to kissing or I can't save you from certain Amazonian-sponsored castration."

"Ouch."

"Yup," I said, frowning. "I...wait. It's still just ten-fifteen and you came straight to my room. What's up?"

"Well, something, yeah, did happen, and it was weird."

"Like mutant weird? Alien weird? Or WTF is this weird?"

"Maybe all three," he said, blushing and sitting on the foot of my bed. "I...well this is really weird."

"Can't be that weird. I know me . Heat vision's about as odd sexually as we get. It's not like we have hidden scales or glow or something!"

"No, but I...uh..." Conner shrugged and then the glass my orange juice had been sitting in exploded, just like with Maddie back years ago.

"Conner? Did you do that?" I asked, hopping up and grabbing a towel from my adjoining bathroom. Mopping up the sticky mess, I frowned at him. "Seriously did you?"

He nodded. "I was making out with Cassie in her car and we weren't getting that hot and heavy, like I said, but I felt weird, I dunno and my head really hurt and the next thing I know her passenger window shattered."

"We can't do that."

"Apparently, I can. Um telekinesis maybe?"

I sighed and dumped the drippy mess of a towel in my bathroom sink. "You're telekinetic and have all my powers?"

"Yeah, I think. God, Clark, I was so embarrassed. It didn't hurt her and I offered to pay for the window with my allowance, but ugh, I win the freakshow Olympics for the night. I mean, yeah, I get it. She has superstrength too. She, uh, actually has a pretty tight grip, but I'm the one who killed the mood with freak telekinetic powers."

"Well we didn't know you could do that. I assume it's either cause your part human or something extra Lex had Cadmus play with in your DNA. I...at least she's not hurt."

Conner sighed. "Yeah but it killed the date after that. I got out and she said she'd call me but drove herself home and I sped here. I...can you not tell mom or J'onn what happened? I know that Cassie will tell Diana; I know it, but this is super embarrassing."

"I promise but the power-"

"The TK," he corrected.

"Right the 'TK' is a pretty cool thing to have. We'll have to figure out what that means for you. Can never have too many abilities."

"Maybe but what if I ran her off?" my brother said, belly flopping onto the other side of my bed.

I sighed. "I think that's not that weird. On the plus side Cassie is invulnerable to glass, strength, and heat vision. You all are still well-suited."

"Yeah, make that sound more National Geographic special," he moped. "I...you don't think I scared her off do you?"

I walked over and patted his shoulder and then took a seat in the armchair. "Conner, I think she'll understand when powers act up a little. Besides, you're not wrong about her being strong."

"Huh?"

"I can see your t-shirt sleeves riding up on your arms. She's bruised you a little."

Conner blinked, blurred to my mirror, and gasped at the web of finger shaped bruises on his upper arm. "Whoa."

"Yeah. I think she might be feeling as awkward as you are, especially if she noticed. Also, your girlfriend is stronger than you," I sing-songed, chucking a pillow at him.

"She's not my girlfriend yet," he muttered. "I...uh, hate to keep doing this to you, but you think maybe you could talk to Diana who can talk to Cassie and-"

"I'm not playing telephone," I said, adjusting my glasses on my nose. "Conner, I have training tomorrow again but why don't we do the sensible thing. Diana and I, you and Cassie can just chill out here and do the practice thing."

"Huh?"

"I need to get back into weapons training with Diana, and you need to work on your power and Cassie clearly on her strength control. We should just meet up, clear the air, and if you both can get passed being embarrassed by normal development-"

"For an alien/mutant clone and a demi-god!"

"You are what you are," I said, honestly, trying to channel dad. "We'll figure it you. Besides, look at the bright side. If you figure out how to control this, we'll take you to Vegas to rig roulette."

"Very funny."

I sighed. "Conner, I'll help you, promise. I never had this one, but I'll figure out what I can with you, okay?"

"Thanks Clark."

"No, thank you. I was pretty doomed at the cemetery."

"I...Clark, you were half about to touch her when I got there. I saw it. I know it's hard. I know you're upset you don't have your powers anymore but you can't seriously want to be a lobotomy patient. You just can't."

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I don't know what I want anymore. Please don't tell mom or anyone else at all."

"What?"

"I...if Granny asks again, if I'm alone with her?"

"Yeah," he asked, frowning back at me from the bed. "What?"

"I'm afraid I'll say yes." I looked away then and forced myself to keep breathing.

"What?" he asked, sitting up. "Clark, I know you loved Lois. I know she's beautiful and it has to hurt that she's apparently trying something pretty new with Zatanna of all people."

"I don't care what Lois does," I admitted. "Yeah, it hurts my guy pride and I know it's irrational but I feel like I turned her off men for a while."

"You didn't!"

"But, I don't care."

"Then I'm confused. What on Earth has you wanting to erase yourself? You already are getting back into fighting shape for the League. You have friends and a kick-ass clone," he said, winking at me. "What's wrong?"

"Conner, please don't tell anyone. I...no one knows this."

"What happened?"

"I kissed Chloe."

Conner grinned. He really was seventeen year old me in some ways. "Way to go! I told you that all you had to do was sweep her off her feet!"

I sighed. "She slapped me in the face and said she's going back to Star City, even uninvited me from the wedding."

"Oh."

I grew quiet and gathered my knees to my chest. "She's why I fight, Conner. You and mom too, of course, but she drives me every day. I...if she hates me, I have no reason to try."

"Clark-"

"I lost her, and even when I tried, even when she was fucking kissing me back, it's not enough. She's going to being Mrs. Oliver Queen officially for all of Star City and I'll never see her again, outside of DefCon 1 meetings."

"I-"

I sighed and looked back at him, the shock in his eyes, the wide opened mouth, an expression I'd have made. Luthors didn't do surprise. "I'm tired, Conner, and I just want it to stop."

He didn't say anything but slipped back out of bed and patted my shoulder. "I...we'll think of something. I promise, just don't get a crazy idea and join Team Evil, alright?"

I wouldn't.

Probably.

Sighing, I nodded. "I hope so, Con, I hope so."


	27. Chapter 27

27

I started back to my routine.

Diana and Bruce came. I spent my days with Bruce, sparring, going through the moves by rote. I still had more stamina than I'd had when we'd started. I still could dig deep and give him what he needed for the twelve hours we worked together. In fact, in some ways, I assumed it was better. I didn't make jokes, didn't talk much at all, just concentrated and did what I was supposed to. I wasn't practicing a martial art that required flare or grace, even that much improvisation. It was brutal, fast, and expedient. I broke board after board and moved on. I practiced block after block, strike after strike, now able to go at about three-quarters the real speed. I just did what was asked, nothing more and nothing less.

I...Chloe might never love me back the way I wanted or, more accurately, let herself fall back into love with me. I still, well, the one thing that kept me working and focused, the one thing despite myself that kept me waking in the morning were the nightmares that plagued me from my imaginary time at Fairview. I'd been powerless then there, watched Chloe be shot before my eyes, die in my arms. Even if she had Ollie now and the League on her side, even if she was her own protection, I wouldn't let her die in this world.

I couldn't.

Damn it, I'd be her hero if she wanted me too or not.

Maybe Bruce was more attuned to me after all these weeks together than I thought. Within my first few days back, he shocked me by asking a very astute question as we were sparring:

How long have you been in love with Chloe, Clark?

I blinked. This was The Batman. He didn't do social niceties. He didn't talk about love lives. He kicked my ass, quizzed me on Machiavelli and Patton and Sun Tzu, made me eat mat more than I'd admit too. He didn't ask me about Chloe.

"What?"

Bruce shocked me further by taking off from sparring and sitting down against the wall of the house (we practiced most often in my mom's high gated backyard. It was hot as Hell, but it was private as many houses here were, considering politicians and ambassadors lived here. "You're in love with her, and she's rejected you. Do you think Diana and I didn't know? That this had very little to do with Lois beyond an insult to your sense of manhood?"

"I-"

"Chloe insisted she and Ollie leave to Star City, two-thirds of the way across the country from D.C. within a day, even knowing Granny'd come for you again. Oliver either doesn't see it, or, more likely, doesn't want to. What happened Clark?"

"I...I kissed her," I said, taking a seat next to him, forcing myself to pace how fast I drank my water in order to avoid making myself sick in the August heat.

"Diana guessed that. I figured you tried a last ditch confession of your feelings. Perhaps it was a mix."

I nodded. "Yeah, but she slapped me and ran to Star City."

"She's often run from you. She was so young the last time I saw her and I was in a lot of pain of my own, but even then I knew how gone she was on you. I assumed it was a crush and it would fade. But I see you too now. You don't think I have but I do see it. The way you two look at each other, I've been that way before."

I frowned working on recalling the A.D.A's name. I had never followed Gotham politics closely enough. "Rachel, right? I...I'm sorry for your loss."

Bruce sighed. "I knew her since we were children, about six, when her mother came to be our cook. She was very much my own version of Chloe, but I couldn't love her the way she needed. Gotham, protecting her, is my first love. I have to make sure no one feels what I've felt, seen the horrors I've seen. Rachel understood that, instead of another woman in our relationship, it was the people of Gotham itself. I wanted so badly to have that normal life with her, I'd daydream about it, but I couldn't abandon the mission."

"It's different a little. Chloe's mission was mine first. I just...you can only break someone's heart so much before they can't or won't try to glue it back. That's the real problem with me and Chloe. I was young and stupid. I don't know how hurts at fifteen can last so long, but she never really...we had a lot of rough patches and then it all repeated itself worse with Lois. With me being violent with her and abandoning her in her pain over Jimmy's death. I failed, Bruce."

"She's what drives you."

It wasn't a question.

I nodded. "I...we've had our close calls. She was meteor infected. I mean, since it's a genetic anomaly, she technically still is, but her power's blocked now. She used to be able to raise the dead."

Bruce frowned, as close to surprise as he ever came. "She never...how long did she have it?"

"Only in college, not when you knew her. It was latent for a long time, but the price is an even exchange. For someone to live, she has to die. She came back, twice even, but she saved me and she was 'dead' for eighteen hours. I was hoping she'd come back because she didn't get rigor mortis, but it dragged on for over half a day. I promised even I'd call Lois and her dad if we hit a day. I practiced my eulogy for her in my head. I...surely you know that feeling."

"Yes."

"I...she won't die again if I can help it, but, yes, knowing she'll never have me, that even if this wedding crap is more running from me and the hurt I've caused her, it makes it so much harder to fight."

"It can. Certain things drive us the right way, others can't. For a very long time I ran on rage and vengeance for my parents. I learned not to, but love is a noble motivation, Clark."

"But?"

"We fight for more than that, even the people we love. We fight for justice , for the ideals."

"I know."

"It's what lasts."

"Yeah, Chloe and I, though, we fought so hard to come back to each other. Now she won't look at me. I thought we'd last. I mean after you stop intergalactic prison escapees, mad generals and evil not-quite-incarnate. How can that not break us but me being a complete idiot does?"

"Because it is personal. I'm sorry for your loss."

"I want her back, Bruce. I just know now I can't get her past the damage I've done her. I...I wish I could make it all...nevermind."

"Clark?"

I stood up and set my bottle down in the shade. "Come on. We have hours left, and I might be able to work up to at least once cinder block slice by mid-August.

It took actually a week for Cassie, Conner, Diana's and my schedules all to match up. I'd been working with Diana and was coming far both with the scimitar and the bo staff. I preferred the latter which surprised me. The taser (I still sucked at and Diana wasn't used to) was flashy, literally. The scimitar was wicked looking, but it was the bo that I felt ease with. I guess I could have been a baton leader in a marching band had that been a life goal. Diana still never used her abilities with me, but I managed to best her more and more when she went at human speed and strength. I know she'd mop the floor with me accessing her abilities, but I was gaining skill and speed, not feeling like quite such a sitting duck.

It was nice to feel useful.

I think the main hold up was that Cassie was as embarrassed as Conner was. I understood that. Conner healed very quickly, as all Kryptonians did. He was still much younger than I'd been before I'd been stripped. He still was growing into his abilities and so he bruised as I used to, like with being shot still as a freshman with Rickman. But Cassie clearly had to have seen what she'd done, had to have known she'd hurt someone she'd liked. I'd been so scared of that for so long with Lana, to see the proof in purpled skin?

That was hard.

Diana and I were in the middle of a practice session, I was following her lead on how to swing my blade. She was still better with more Grecian weapons but was, I admitted, a good tactical combat trainer. Conner was acting as my opponent in an unusual way. Over the last week, we'd learned his TK could be used to create an aura around his body, not unlike what I'd had with my abilities filtering in the sun. He had to concentrate to make it work, but he could shield himself, especially from blunt blows. So we were doubling our efforts. I'd swing at him and he'd block with his arms, forcing himself to concentrate on shielding himself, working on making that effort as automatic as his X-ray vision or speed.

I had just struck against both his arms crossed in an "x" in front of him, when there was a breeze and, standing before us, we a blonde girl, actually not much taller than Chloe. That surprised me. I expected Cassie to tower like Diana did, to be close to six feet or at least Lois's height. She was maybe 5'5 instead, possibly an inch more, but probably not. Her posture, though, caught my attention. She stood at attention, nodding briskly at her mentor. I could tell she'd been well disciplined already by her Amazonian sisters, even if she was mainly American-raised.

"Diana," she said. "Conner," and she blushed still saying his name. Reaching out, she shook my hand after I'd set by scimitar down. "You must be Kal."

It was my turn to blush. "I go by 'Clark' mainly. Diana has a thing about honorifics and giving my Kryptonian side a nod."

"She never calls me just 'Cassie,'" she replied, laughing. "Pleasure's mine. I saw you and Con together. I...wow, you're coming along well."

I shrugged. "For being mortal, sure. Hard to keep up with Kryptonians, ninjas, and goddesses."

"By half," she corrected. "I used to be mortal til 'dad' gave me an upgrade. I remember pain and difficulty and chicken pox."

"Oh god! I never had that," I said, remembering that Chloe wanted me to get inoculations. "I...are there shots for that?"

"There is now," Cassie replied. "I had to do the oatmeal baths and calomine lotion."

The three of us blinked at her, as if she'd spoken Hindi. "Oatmeal baths?" I asked. What the Hell did medicine think sometimes?

Conner and Diana, who had never seen doctors for actual medicine in their lives (at least what Conner remembered since he could not recall either Alexander or Lex's lives), just blinked at her.

"Uh, wow, sucks," mini-me finally added. "I...so hey. Thanks for texting me this week. I, uh, that was cool."

Cassie blushed again and kicked at the dirt.

"Yeah, I...I know you and Kal, um, Clark were doing the chill out thing here and, well, mom wanted help with some cataloging and nothing says no reception like the Smithsonian basement."

I sighed and grabbed a towel to mop off my brow, noting I was the only one of the three of us who sweated and sweated a lot at that. "Guys, I think we need to talk."

"Why?" Conner asked, clearly now not wanting to rock the boat with Cassie in front of him. Poor kid.

Diana nodded to me, her air always so majestic, though marred a bit by her uniform. "Conner, Cassandra. We know that your date had some issues."

Cassie looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here now. I got that. I mean, yeah, I was only about seven years older than she was, but this was probably still like having the sex talk with parents more than with siblings. "I-"

Conner gulped. "Don't kill me!"

Diana laughed. "You were a gentleman as far as both Kal and Cassandra have mentioned. I understand at your age that there will be kissing. It is not uncommon."

"I...yeah," Cassie replied, frowning and glancing at Conner's arms. "There was that."

"You two have a lot of abilities between you and you're both still young, still growing into them and learning how to control them," I added. "Cassie, Conner discovered on your date he's telekinetic, which no one anticipated because I'm not and never have been."

"Whoa."

Conner nodded and looked also at the very interesting dirt. "Yeah surprise."

"And," Diana added. "We realize you're stronger than Conner still and he's not technically invulnerable unless he's actively using his telekinesis to defend himself. He's not exactly like Kal, at least not as much as we first surmised."

"So he shocked you with the window break and you shocked him a bit with the anaconda squeeze. Neither of you have to be embarrassed. I...part of the thought of setting you up was to give you a friend or maybe more who understands odd power surges and all the other things that come with being so strong, so, well 'gifted,'" I finished.

Cassie nodded and looked at me but not yet at Conner. "I bruised Con. I didn't mean to."

"And I'll still pay for your car," he added, reaching out and grabbing her hand tentatively. He then rolled up his sleeves to reveal his unmarred skin. "I'm okay, really."

Cassie smiled and swiped at her eyes. "I...alright then. Do you want to do the state fair on Tuesday?"

"I'd like that. First do you wanna spar? I'm practicing activating my shield. It's taking some work but I think I'm getting a handle on that."

Cassie's smile broadened to genuine. "I'd love that."

I grinned and winked at Diana. Kids these days, so cute.

The thing about Oliver Queen is that he was far the most famous rich person out there. Sure tons of people, like Bill Gates or that Facebook guy were richer. Sure, Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor had both returned from what everyone assumed was being dead. However, none of them were public superheroes, who'd spent the year battling the VRA and coming back from public disapproval and company upheaval. Well, I guess Wayne Industries would crash as badly if people realized the namesake and CEO ran around dressed as a giant bat beating the crap out of people. However, Bruce was not that stupid, and I knew he'd never reveal his true passions to the world.

Still it meant that the encroaching nuptials, now only two weeks away as we entered into September, were huge news. "Anne Hatcher" was a mystery girl for the press. Chloe had done well creating paper trails and back story for herself but, still, the reporters-especially Star City's answer to the late Linda Lake to to Gotham's Gossip Gerty-were so curious about the mild-mannered reporter who'd won the heart of the superhero billionaire and former party boy. She and he were in the paper constantly, on local news at galas and fundraisers, and even freaking Time (unauthorized) was doing a bit of follow up to all the VRA and Green Arrow coming out anniversary with a look at how Oliver had rebuilt his life with his soon-to-be-wife at his side.

Now, a sane person would never have subscribed to The Register to obsessively pour over the gossip section and "Anne's" articles. A normal, healthy person would not be holed up in his bedroom in his mom's house in his pajamas on his day off (Bruce and Diana agreed my muscles at least deserved only a light work out on Sundays to give them some rest, being mortal and still under conditioned after all.) That normal person certainly wouldn't be pouring over the Star City Morning Show's inane chatter about the city's wedding of the decade.

I was not that person, and, to be fair, I'd never been very normal either.

It was like this compulsion. I trained with Diana and Bruce, sometimes even offered power control advice to both mini-me and Cassie, whom I was liking very much. I got her a lot. She'd grown up as I had, not know she was special, growing up American and then being told a whole other culture with infinitely complicated rules and an annoying dose of hubris was hers. She saw the world the way I did first and worked hard to understand the nuances of the world of gods and demi-gods as I did with Krypton or had once. I hung out for family dinners with mom and, yes, J'onn.

I even continued to help remotely design things for Bruce and, yes, eventually myself. My suit was almost ready and by October, Bruce was sure I could start going out with him, being out of the watch of the powered persuasion and off fighting with human back up. Bruce would still be so much better than I was after his years of intense training and focus, but I was going to be able to handle myself.

I could feel it, even if I was handicapped compared to Conner, to what I had been.

But I was also moping heavily, thinking of how it had been a month with not so much as an email from Oliver. Forget Chloe. After her slap, I knew she wouldn't contact me. I just...the news and her own articles were the only recourse I had left to even hear her words or get a glimpse of her. It brought flashbacks hardcore to the year Lex and Lana got married but, even then, I could go to the mansion, Lana would see me even if coldly. I couldn't just speed to Star City, couldn't just pop up on her door.

So I read, voraciously, and counted down the thirteen days in my head until she'd be officially Mrs. Queen.

I thought I was being discrete, really I did. I mean, yeah, Bruce and Diana both saw through me and Diana was trying as best she could to be a comforting friend. Bruce was more reserved but I could tell his honesty about Rachel and her death was a lot of truth for him to give me and I appreciated that. Yes, Conner knew and he was still on the "screw it, break that wedding up!" train. He was seventeen (or one depending). He'd seen TV and movies, but didn't get yet, as most teenagers didn't, that life wasn't really like that.

Maybe especially for superheroes ironically.

I thought I was doing well putting on a mainly happy face for mom as she was heading back to work, a tight schedule until Thanksgiving recess. I thought she'd chalked it up to my pride being shattered by Lois's experimentation. I thought she saw me coping, at least still training and mentoring mini-me and believed I was going to be fine.

I didn't know my mother very well.

I was downstairs having breakfast. Mom always made pumpkin pancakes in the fall for Sunday brunch, and they were about as awesome as everything else she made. Conner'd already had his three stacks (growing Kryptonians needed a ton of food), and J'onn was in his own office doing some recon work over the computer with Zatanna. I was happily on a second helping of my own, letting the syrup sometimes get on my chin and not caring much I was being a little sloppy in my devoted food shoveling.

Mom sat down with her coffee and some scrambled eggs. "Sweetheart, we need to talk."

I wiped at my chin with a napkin. "Cool. What's up?"

She sighed. "I know this isn't about Lois, honey."

"Oh, I'm sad about Lois, totally completely sad about Lois."

"Clark Kent," she said, sighing. "Don't lie. I mean we all understand that her and Zatanna is not an ego boost to you to say the least."

"Nope."

"But you were already broken up for over two months by then."

"Did J'onn or Conner say something."

"J'onn doesn't read people like that and your brother is a good confidence keeper. I didn't know he knew, beyond guessing."

"Oh."

"Honey, I noticed some of the print outs of Chloe's articles in your room, seen you watching the wedding prep programs and gossip on the digital cable, the broadcast station we get from Star City. You miss Chloe."

"I-"

"You running here and her going back there, being radio silent, well. It's all more than obvious, Clark."

"I thought you didn't know!"

"Baby, I always know these things. At first, I did think Lois, but once Chloe never called or even emailed me, I knew you'd had a fight. The only time I've ever been out of contact with her was when she went underground."

I sighed. "Well she's out of contact now. I just, I keep flashing back to being in high school and the Gatorade thing."

"You do?"

I nodded. "You told me then to never lead her on and I didn't then. The feelings...they weren't what she wanted yet. I told her that it wasn't there yet, but they might be some day. Gave her a kiss on the cheek and even then I could tell she was close to tears. I wish I could have felt that way right then, that I could have given her what she needed. I didn't realize how badly this sucked, even two years ago when we were fighting and I missed her. I...even then, it didn't hurt this bad. She's just cut me out."

"She has."

"I want to go there and beg her back, live out every cliche ever and make her believe me." I snorted. "Even mini-me thinks this. Conner is lobbying for it and I see how ridiculous and naive it looks. It's what a selfish seventeen year old kid would do. Heart in the right place, maybe, but it's not how being a grown up works. I made my choices and Chloe made hers and I'll just...I need her mom. Not just to save me. I love her and I don't want to let her go, but I can't make her love me back."

Or admit that settling with Oliver, that being safe, wasn't worth it. It was better to try, damn it, to give what we had the first real shot in a decade, maybe ever.

Mom nodded and squeezed my hand. "Sometimes, baby, people are taken from you and you can't stop it."

"Like dad?"

"Yes, but Chloe made her decision. I...you trying anymore to get her to see you, well, she'll just keep running to Oliver harder. She's scared and she may never stop that. Based on how much she's thrown herself into the wedding over the last month, she seems determined to move on, whether she's ready deep down or not."

"It sucks!"

"I know, honey. I do know."

I believed her. She and dad had been so close. She knew what it was like to lose your soulmate, try and move on, and realize that no one would ever replace him in her life.

"There's no on like her, mom, not anywhere."

"There's no one like you either."

"I...we could have been so much more. Skeets, Buster's robot archive, he said that we had a destiny together, Chloe and I, and I believe that more than Brainiac Five's bullshit because it's what I've wanted for a long time, especially since Dark Thursday. I...we were supposed to be legendary; I know it."

Mom leaned across the table and kissed my cheek. "Honey, you have to let this go or it will eat you alive."

She was wrong. It already had


	28. Chapter 28

**28**

I was in Watchtower with Conner. It was the big day, September the 17th , the day with no turn backs. I mean I get it. People do divorce. She'd done that with Jimmy, although his slide into drug abuse as well as verbal harassment had really sealed that deal between them. Even Lana and Lex had done that, but I knew Chloe when she had resolve, I knew her when she was trying to avoid things. She was as determined as she'd been after Dark Thursday and her going off for vending machines with Jimmy in the first place.

Besides, she was so much deeper into her relationship with Oliver than she'd ever been with Jimmy. Even if he wasn't me, she had an ally in crime fighting, someone who knew the real story of Chloe Sullivan, someone who'd supported her when the world had turned its back on her.

She'd be loyal to that after the vows; this much I knew.

I was monitoring downtown Metropolis. Keeping Diana alert over the comm link about any robberies or muggers was my mission of the day. If I had one of the monitors streaming the wedding coverage from a local Star City channel, after all Oliver was still the city's most famous and now, in a post-VRA world, most favored son. I sighed as out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chloe getting out of the limo, looking even more beautiful with her hair (grown out just a bit since May) accented with a modest diamond headband. I thought the dress had fit well at her fitting, but it was perfect now, moved with her and, while never tight, still highlighted her curves in a way the dress she'd worn for her first wedding never had and certainly not like the Madonna rip off.

She looked as regal as Diana always seemed to, and I sighed, knowing she'd earned this.

Conner wasn't amused.

He started to pace human speed and pointed to the screen. Finally, just turning it off as he sputtered. "Clark, this is stupid. I know you're a tall guy. I know it'd be an awkward carry but I can get you to Star City in a blink and you know this. Right now man, just leave the 'Tower and we'll fix this."

I sighed. "Conner I can't fix this. She said no. She slapped me and uninvited me for this very reason. Me swooping in last minute and humiliating her in front of everyone is going to piss her off a lot more."

"So?"

"Well pissed off women don't run away with you."

Mini-me rolled his eyes. "That's so much bullshit, Clark. You just need to be that guy."

"She's not that girl. She's honorable and noble and when she says 'yes' she means it. When she wants her space, she means it."

"She loves you!"

"I broke her, Conner. Sometimes you can't fix things. You just can't."

"I'd do it. I'd swoop right in there."

"Yeah cause I would have when I was your age or even almost twenty. I just..." I sighed, taking off my glasses and pinching the bridge of my nose. "I can't."

Conner sighed and shook his head. "I'll be upstairs man. If anything happens, anything at all, then you have to scream alright? Shout for me, anything. I'll only be a few feet away but-"

"You don't trust me not to be caught twenty feet from you."

"I don't trust Granny not to take advantage of the worst day of your life and twist that knife. I definitely don't trust you to say no if she comes back."

"I hate you know me so well."

"Well, I figure that Lex saw through you a ton and I think a lot like you. It's a lot harder to put on happy face for me cause I know our tells. Clark, just sit tight and I'll be here to save you in a blur. It's like my new calling."

I laughed. "You don't want to stay and help security camera duty?"

"I can't sit here and watch you let the best thing you ever had slip away when we could fix it."

"I understand that. It is train wreck like."

"Definitely," he said, before blurring up the stairs to probably watch something mindless on Lois's TV (yeah we have cable in Watchtower).

To pardon the pun, the next five hours went by in a daze. It was easier in some ways than I'd thought, not that the pain abated. It hadn't. It was just that there were a few emergencies-a hurricane in Miami, a mudslide in Ecuador, and a bombing in Libya-things I could direct Diana as well as Bart and A.C. to. I could get it now, how Chloe had gotten so lost here. You could watch the events unfold before you, move the chess pieces in place, move on, looking for more information.

You never had to think about yourself because the natural disasters and crimes never ended.

When I felt someone touch my shoulder, I assumed it was Conner asking if I wanted to do take out. It was getting on toward eight and I could definitely go from some Kung Pao chicken. I forced on my best smile for him and started talking before I even turned around. "Mr. Huang's? I'm thinking their sticky rice is the best-" I stopped, blinking before me.

Shit.

I was hallucinating.

Chloe was standing there, still in her dress of all things, smiling back nervously at me-smile three in all its glory-and her eyes were tearing up. "I was thinking subs. I'll get turkey and you can even get some ham and Swiss."

"I...you're here."

"Really me," she said, her arm now back at her side, giving me space. "I said no, Clark. I got up there and I just...I saw us in the DP basement during Dark Thursday and I thought about when De Saad tempted me. I don't want to bury myself in just any relationship and I'm always going to love your more than anyone else."

I snorted. "I must be dreaming."

She shook her head. "I couldn't. I got there, the priest looking at me, all that 'be honest or forever hold your peace,' and I couldn't go through with it. First time for a wedding with free will and I said no, Clark."

"Star City's so far!"

"Bruce loaned me his jet. I'm sorry. I don't know what I expect. I just...I wanted you to know that now I'll do the waiting since I was so cold these last almost two months. I'm here though. I'll try."

I blinked and poked at her shoulder. Nope felt real. I hollered for Conner.

He blurred into reality in front of me and was grinning broadly. "Wicked. Chloe's here anyway."

"You can see her?"

He laughed and gave Chloe a quick hug. "You're the best sight for sore eyes, Chlo. Oh, uh, so I'm going to give you two space if you have the Clark sitting thing down. I know there was no wedding-still awesome-but is there cake?"

Chloe laughed. "Chocolate. Go on. I'm sure at least someone can get some enjoyment from it."

Conner grinned and was just gone, nothing left but a breeze. I didn't mind being run off on this time. Chloe and I needed the space. Walking with her over to the sofa, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "I can't believe this."

"I got sick of running, Clark. I got tired of trying to use everyone else-Jimmy, Oliver, even Davis-to make it not hurt, not when you're here promising me to at least try it for real for the first time."

She smiled the real smile now and I couldn't help grinning so wide that I thought my face would split.

"Really?"

She nodded and started to lean up to kiss me, when there was a flash of red light and I pulled away quickly, my heart already racing. Granny was here with eight of her "girls," all armed with their blades and assorted weapons. She was smiling too but it scared me, reminded me too much of Lionel.

"Kal-El, now you have a happy ending. How quaint."

I stood up then, reached for a staff by the couch's end and put myself between Chloe and everything else. She wasn't in a huge dress but she was never going to be able to fight in a wedding gown to her feet. I was thankful Bruce had insisted that I keep things always within reach, by the monitor bank, sick bay, even on the sofa. I'd found it kind of paranoid to have that many bos in reach, but even the paranoid have enemies and if I lived, I owed Bruce a present.

Big if.

"I don't want your offers."

"Well not now, you have true love," she said, laughing. "But Kal-El, you don't understand why I've come."

"To kill me."

"I considered that and killing her, but that's not very smart," Granny admitted. "I can find a way to restore your abilities, to make you a prophet. We need to rebuild."

"No."

"And you, Chloe, such gifts, such resilience. So much power. My girls would never die, never suffer such grievous wounds for long. I'd never lose them with a healer of your power on my side."

Chloe stepped around to stand with me shoulder to shoulder, as we were when we were at our best. "I don't do that anymore."

Granny nodded and a light arched between her fingers. "Girls, we want them alive, my prophet and my new Fury. Is that understood?"

Harriet stepped forward, her expression petulant. "Alright, Granny, but can I have some fun?"

"Keep them in one piece, but I want to get my hands on both of them."

The Furies were on us then and I was into the fray first, wishing I'd kept something sharp on hand here. Hell, wishing I'd kept Conner on hand here. It was a quick succession of everything that Bruce and Diana had taught me. The Furies, though well trained and armed with chains and whips, knives and talons, were still mortal. I could hurt them. I had a shot.

Not a great one with four to one odds, but a shot.

Harriet was the first to find me, but at least four circled. She lunged with her gloved hand out first, and I moved quickly to the side, causing her to stumble forward past me at the last minute. I grabbed her arm before she could recover and snapped it as Bruce had taught me. After that there were three on me and I was swinging my staff, trying desperately to knock them back, moving as fast as I could to avoid the sting of blades. Nothing fancy, just thrust dodge, reach, hoping I could break more limbs before the fight was done.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chloe, she'd managed to tear the bottom off her dress off, gotten it up to her thighs and I grinned despite myself. She'd kept her knives packed at her ankles, obviously in case, again Bruce's paranoia encroaching on all of us.

She was fighting with Harriet who, while her left arm was held useless at her side, was still trying to stab Chloe in the shoulder with the talons on her right.

We might just make this. At least if Conner could hear me shouting, my heart racing as he had before. It wasn't like either of us could disengage for a comm link.

All three of my Furies charged at me and I bent low, swinging my staff and tripping them all, landing them on their backs. I turned to check on Chloe and gulped. Harriet had bested her and there was a nasty wound on Chloe's left shoulder, but worse, she was being held still, fighting Harriet's grip and failing, even as Granny advanced on her, already a bit of that red glow encircling her. Chloe screamed and I did the only thing I could think of.

I ran and dove in between them.

Then I felt Granny's hand on my scalp.

And then?

Then I screamed.


	29. Chapter 29

**29**

_A/N – _

_1) I know we've been with Clark and only Clark as the first person pov for almost one hundred thousand (yikes!) words. I don't usually like messing with point of view if I've stuck with one character for so long, at this point the course of a novel at least. However, considering he's been blanked and someone around here has to also keep us abreast of JLA politics and evil that abounds, I just, after some debate, have decided to bring Chloe's perspective to the fold. If Clark weren't wiped, I never would have done it. And we'll still hear from him, alternating now with Chloe, but I honestly couldn't think of another way to do it and not lose the impact of Chloe's own guilt and conflicts over what to do now with him._

_I hope it's not too jarring that this chapter is from Chloe's Perspective ._

_We'll hear back from Blanked!Clark in the next chapter. _

_2) Smelt has been nominated for best Chlark Fic and for best WIP at the Smallville Fandom Creativity Awards; the link for voting is in my author profile so please give it love by May 6__th__!  
><em>  
>I wasn't seeing this.<p>

This wasn't happening. Things had gone from so good to ruined. Clark gave a final shout after Granny had touched him for what felt like forever, and collapsed to the ground in front of me, his breathing slow and labored. The Fury let me go then and I scooted forward, cradling Clark in my lap, and feeling again for his pulse. It was there but very faint, just like his breathing and I could feel myself starting to cry, wishing Granny were right and I still had my abilities, that I could wake him.

The Furies were now standing at attention behind Granny, all waiting for orders now that Clark and I had been dealt with. Swallowing, I looked up at her. "Is he going to die?"

She shook her head. "He'll live, and he'll be better than he was," she held up her hand and I shuddered at the glow there. "You will be too, Chloe. I'll make you the captain of my guard, give you my Lutessa's place. You shall be my crowning achievement."

"Wipe me too?" I spat.

Granny laughed. "You'll reach your full potential. I've already started to make you better, now I'll finish it. Don't feel so bad, you'll still be together and this time, it won't be possible for you to have any doubts." She advanced then and I surged to my feet, grabbing one of my knives from the floor. If this were happening, I'd still go down fighting before she stole my memories too.

She was almost on me when there was a sonic boom. Then another. A third.

I let out a sigh. The JLA was here. Conner, J'onn, Diana as well as Bruce and Oliver who must have been carried. Even Zatanna flickered into reality a few seconds later. "Thank God."

Granny shook her head at Bruce. "You didn't do your job, Batman. Remember that. Girls!"

It was a melee then, each of us with one Fury a piece on us, sometimes more in Oliver's case. People were flung all over, talons scraping through equipment, chains shattering monitors. I was with Granny, shocked that she could fight as well, and I'd never underestimate the elderly again. For every blow I delivered, she blocked me. Parry and thrust, back and forth, so to speak, until I managed to get low and trip her. She stumbled and fell back and I brought my blade to her chest.

"Does everything need a heart?" And I knew it was wrong, wouldn't bring Clark back. Couldn't.

But I brought the weapon down, anticipating the resistance of bone when there was a flash of red light and she was gone again, her "girls" gone with her.

I cursed when she was gone. As long as she was alive and had her own set of warriors, we were in trouble. Darkseid had a prophet to help him rise and I had someone who wanted me for powers I didn't even have anymore. Someone who might come back for Clark, try to still make him her prophet and restore the powers he'd lost, mold him from there. I just wanted this all over with and it was worse than it had ever been.

I looked up and shook my head. The 'Tower was ruined, so much broken and shattered, monitors are on the fritz. We'd brought it back after everything with me blowing it to hell eighteen months ago. I had no interest in saving it again. Too many bad memories haunted it. We could move to Star City or even the satellite we had, some place so much harder to violate than here.

Most of my associates, save for Diana who'd already been on patrol, were still decked out in clothing for a wedding that never finished, especially Oliver who looked dazed standing there in the tux we'd picked together. He looked at me, still not believing what I'd done, and I looked away and rushed toward Clark. Maybe she hadn't...he could still be him, couldn't he?

I was back there again, by the sofa, cradling him, his head so heavy in my hands. "Clark, god Clark, please wake up."

Everyone was giving us space, but Conner, who was kneeling next to me. Of all of us, and understandably, he was the other one closest to Clark, who had glommed onto his "big brother" so fast. "Chloe?"

"I...she touched him," I said and I knew I was crying. "Clark, come on, you can do this. Wake up!" I said, and I felt it then, that surge of energy I hadn't felt since Brainiac had tried to infect me in the same manner he had Lana into a total state of catatonic pain. A light surged from around me and I wanted to cry, the idea of being a full-fledged mutant again, of having to die. I looked up and watched most of my friends stare at me, a range of reactions on their faces-except Bruce of course, he never registered shock.

Maybe this could.

Maybe Clark would be okay.

After the glow faded, he took a few more even breaths and, blessedly, opened his eyes. He frowned and looked at me then concentrated on my dress. "Am I getting married?"

"Clark?"

"You look nice," he muttered, concentrating on my eyes. "Who are you again?"

"I-"

He blinked a few times, obviously still recovering, and passed out again. It was for the best. We couldn't explain Watchtower to a civilian and that's what he'd be now, completely, without his powers or his memories. He no longer had access to the 'Tower and maybe he shouldn't have had it to start with after his wedding-that-wasn't. I didn't know.

J'onn knelt down next to me and slung Clark over his shoulder awkwardly in a fireman's carry. "Chloe, we need to get him home. He can't wake up here."

I nodded, numb, and relieved when Conner helped me to my feet. For a second, I admit it, I leaned into him and tried to imagine Clark in his place. "To the farm then. He needs to be at his real home. If he'll remember anything at all, it'll be there."

Oliver bought the farm from the people who had bought it from Clark for three times its market value. He hadn't repurchased the herd but he had Donatello and the other two horses from the barn. He'd hired people to check on them every day, tend to the stalls and ride them, take them out to pasture. Martha had insisted on all of it after she'd come to the wedding-that-wasn't. She would have let Clark know that after he finished training and Bruce went home to Gotham. Everything with Watchtower had been a punishment, yes, but he'd have appreciated the farm so much more when he returned to it, after so much effort.

It was has it had always been, every picture and decorative item in place, taken back out of a storage locker in Metropolis.

Clark was sleeping and Conner was watching him. It was perhaps easiest to have him wake up to Conner. They looked enough alike, naturally, that Clark would understand they were brothers, even if he didn't remember it.

We were all sitting around the oak table, chairs brought in from other places to accommodate all of us. Zatanna was back on Lois watching duty, which was still possible, but it was clearer to me that Granny wanted both of us. Clark and me. She wanted to convert us to her side, to use us when she couldn't exactly beat us. That terrified me. The last thing I wanted was to be a Fury.

But Bruce, J'onn, Diana, Oliver, Martha and I were all engaged in debate. We weren't sure how much to tell him if anything. J'onn and Martha both thought it was the right thing to do, to give him back his heritage and his sense of self. I understood that. J'onn had been there when Clark was born, for the early events of his life and did feel a paternal responsibility. Martha had always said she would have told him back in high school if he hadn't gotten his memory back.

Oliver and Bruce were arguing that there was too big a chance of a security breach for the bulk of the League. Obviously, Ollie's secret was out, but no one else's. Clark was technically civilian now, thought like a civilian, knew nothing of us or of our struggles.

Diana was leaning their way.

I knew Conner, though a junior member of our cause, would insist that Clark be told everything, so that he could have his brother back.

That made me the swing vote.

Perfect.

"Watchtower," Bruce said, all gravelly-voiced business mode. Even if we were in wedding attire (and a suit in Martha's case), it just felt odd, to be business dressed anything but like our alter egos. "What do you think?"

I sighed. Martha was sitting next to me and J'onn next to her, his hand encircling her own. She'd want me to vote with her, to fix Clark, which was a misnomer. We couldn't give him almost twenty-five years of memories back. We couldn't give him his experiences back. We could only offer him fantastic tales of a life that no sane person would believe.

"I don't know what to do. Clark's already started from scratch once. Now he's without his powers, his senses and his memories. I don't think this is the life for him anymore. I...as far as he'd ever know, he's human, always been. There are no meteor freaks," I was straining to say it, bitter, but my own return to the powered persuasion was not under discussion now. "There isn't League responsibilities or dealing with being the last, especially with Kara vanished."

"You can't be serious," Martha replied. "He's going to ask who he is."

"He's Clark Kent, farm kid and former reporter for The Daily Planet . Hell, Lex's influence doesn't reach this far. Clark can start back at The Ledger even. He's always wanted to be normal, to have that life. He's lost so much over the years in this fight, and he's given a decade to it, unlike the rest of us. Maybe this is a blessing, a chance to make him happy."

"Chloe," J'onn started. "He'll feel lost and rudderless if he doesn't know who he is."

"He's Clark. He's always going to be Clark. He had a life and a personality outside of being The Blur , which he hasn't truly been in four months. I...maybe we owe him a real retirement, a chance to just be Clark again and not the hero. It's too much pressure on him."

"I...this feels wrong," Martha replied quietly.

Diana sighed. "It would be very difficult to prove to him he was ever more than human. He's said the Fortress cut him off. He has no abilities of his own anymore. Perhaps giving him some respite isn't wrong. We have the option to tell him sooner than later."

"But he has a right to know about his life, all of it," Martha said.

"Martha," Bruce replied. "Do you really want to tell your son all over again he's the last of his kind and devastate him like that. He's no longer powered; he has no secrets to hide. There's not even a ship as I've heard it. Perhaps it's best if he never knows."

"You say that because he's a security risk," J'onn pointed out.

"We don't deny that," Ollie added. "It's just, if you had the chance, if any of us had a chance, to be truly free of this, to just go back to everything inane and calm and peaceful, wouldn't we take it? Clark didn't ask for this. He didn't do it, but he's been released from this both because of the ring and Granny. I...he's been so depressed for so long, even before he lost his powers."

"Give him some peace, even if it'll be hard to deal with amnesia recovery," I finished. "I...Martha forgive me, but I vote we don't tell him about the League or about being Kryptonian. We have to be united on that, can't have one of us leaking secrets behind the League's back. Do you understand that?"

She shook her head. "Someone will have to explain that to Conner."

"Oh, I will," Bruce said. No one intimidated like Bruce. Despite Conner's abilities, he respected The Batman and his orders.

"This still feels wrong, but he was so depressed this summer. Maybe it's best if he never has to be 'the last one,' anymore," Martha replied.

"Agreed then. When he wakes up we tell him everything we can about 'Clark Kent' but The Blur and 'Kal-El,' they should stay buried," I said.

Martha glared at me but said nothing. I hated that. She was the closest thing I'd ever had to a mother, and I could tell we would not see eye to eye on this. The Red Queen and the White Queen would be fighting over Clark's new future for a while to come.

"Agreed," Bruce said. "Watchtower, Martha? Do you want to go wake him? Conner's been watching him a while, and he might like the rest."

I nodded. Martha and I left the table and ascended the back stairs in silence. No, things would never be the same between us again.


	30. Chapter 30

**30**

I opened my eyes.

I blinked and sat up, and instantly felt dizzy. "Ugh."

"You're gonna feel probably pretty bad. I have some water, if you need it."

Looking beside me, I noticed the guy next to me. He might have been a junior in high school, possibly a little younger. He was awfully short. "Yeah, that'd be nice. I...wait," I said, taking the water and drinking it greedily. "Who are you?"

In fact, now that I was less groggy, it occurred to me this room wasn't familiar. The kid next to me wasn't someone I knew. Hell, thinking on it, I couldn't remember my . I wasn't even sure what I looked like, besides obviously being a guy and pretty tall from how I almost had my feet off the bed.

The kid next to me sighed. "Conner Kent. I'm your little brother."

"Kent?" I asked, testing out the word, trying to jog my memory. "I...what happened! I don't even remember my name. I'm not in a hospital. I wasn't in like a coma was I?"

Conner shook his head and started looking around the room, as if the answer to my question was written on the walls. "You, uh, had an accident. Mom's a national senator and we didn't want to attract attention. We took you to a private doctor and here to get better. We didn't want the tabloids to know when mom's gearing up to be re-elected."

My mom. A senator. Huh, that was kind of interesting.

"What kind of accident?"

"Um electrical, lots of energy through that brain," and he was still being so shifty.

I filed that away in my brain as I stood up with some effort and look then looked in the mirror. I was disappointed when the face in front of me was completely unrecognizable. I suppose it wasn't a bad one. Although my nose was a little crooked, as if it had been broken once, still a bit mottled colors and maybe it had been. Dark hair, green eyes, a few moles here and there. Hell, I even had slightly crooked teeth. I eyed Conner. I could see the resemblance even if he wasn't near my size. Maybe I took after our dad and him, my mom.

Conner sighed. "Do you remember anything. I...this is your room. Has been since forever. All your things?"

I shook my head. "I don't even recognize me . I'm sorry. I don't remember you at all."

"Anyone? Martha Kent? Jonathan Kent? Chloe Sullivan? Lois Lane?"

"No. I mean, I know the basic stuff. I know how to count or tie my shoes. I even know background things about like TV or who's president right now or that Wall Street's a mess. I just don't know me . Like I'm not square one about the world, mainly, but I am with who is 'Clark Kent.' I...you said I got electrocuted?"

Conner nodded. "Yeah and you're recovering well physically, but the doctor warned about the memory stuff. I was hoping it wouldn't so severe. That maybe you'd recognize me or remember mom and dad."

"I'm sorry, I...this is really confusing."

Just then, two women entered into the room. Both were about the same height, which was much shorter than I was. One was older, clearly old enough to be my mom. Wait was the redhead my mom? God, how would I even know? The other was about my age, I think, with a blonde hair and what looked, oddly enough, like half a wedding dress, something I could tell from here was pretty expensive.

Great, I could tell if something was expensive but not what my middle name was or what I'd done for a living so far.

"Who are you?"

Both women still and looked like they wanted to cry. It made me feel like crap but I had no clue who they were and I couldn't force myself to remember. It was like a huge brick wall had been sealed up in my brain. All I knew about me was my name, my appearance, and that I had a brother and all of it learned just now from Conner.

"Baby," the older woman said, wrapping her arms around me and I let her hug me, even reaching down to pat her back gently. There was no doubt now that she was my mom. I didn't...she must be nice enough but I didn't feel anything for her one way or another. Still it would have been cruel to push her away. I didn't know much about me right now, but I felt I wasn't that type of guy, that I didn't hurt people.

"You're my mom, right?" I asked, still patting her back. "You're Martha, right? Conner mentioned you."

She nodded but I noticed her sniffling as she pulled back to look at me. "Yes, Clark, I'm your mother."

Hmm, she didn't look much like me or Conner. Maybe my father was brown-haired, less fair.

"I...I'm sorry. I don't remember you."

She nodded and tears were running down her cheeks by now. My brother walked over to her and hugged her as well. "Mom, I caught him up on the electrical trauma he had and that the private doctor saw him. I got him to get his name and yours and mine down at least."

My mom hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Go downstairs, sweetheart. Bruce has to talk to you."

"Bruce?" I asked, confused. "Do I have another brother?"

Conner shook his head and headed out the door. "Just a family friend. We have a lot of those."

We waited a few beats until he was down the stairs. The blonde and now I noticed a dark red stain on her dress, as if it? Was that blood? No couldn't be. I...maybe we'd had a storm at our wedding. Something weird and sudden outdoors and she'd spilled something on her in the panic and rush over me. There just was no reason for her to be smeared with blood.

I sat back down on my bed, but maintained eye contact with the blonde, even as Martha Kent said next to me and took my hand. Again I let her. I was confused as hell and needed all the comfort I could get. "Who are you?"

"Chloe Sullivan," she replied after a moment of hesitation. "We've been best friends since we were thirteen. Do you remember?"

"No, wait, how old am I?" It was bizarre to not even know that.

"Twenty-five in May," she said.

"Wow, I thought I looked a lot older."

She laughed a little. "Nope."

"I...okay so electricity? Like struck by lightning at our wedding right?" I blinked a little. Things were pretty blurry. Huh, maybe I needed glasses.

Chloe blushed. "You keep saying that."

"You're clearly in a wedding dress. I remember you cradling me after the accident for a split second. I...we were getting married right?"

"No, actually I was gonna marry someone else today."

Ouch that hurt. Chloe was very pretty and, the little that had come back to me of waking up the first time, was so gentle with me. I liked being in her arms for what it was worth.

"Oh. But we're friends?"

She nodded, also tearing up. "The best. I'm so sorry. We'll help you try and jog anything you want, I promise. Ask us anything."

"So where's my dad? Conner mentioned a Jonathan and a Lois Lane too."

My mom squeezed my hand tighter. "Your father died of a heart attack almost six years ago, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry," I said, hearing the sadness in her voice. It was weird. I was sad I'd never have first hand memories again, most likely of my dad, but I also felt weirdly disconnected. I couldn't even picture him or imagine what he'd sounded like. It was abstract that he'd die.

"And Lois?"

Chloe sighed and bit her lip. She looked like she was going to collapse any minute. "Lois was your fiance. You guys dated for two years and almost got married but she broke it off in May. Conner was trying to see if you remembered her. I sort of assumed you might have a flicker of something about her. You were pretty close."

"No. Doesn't sound familiar." I wanted to pace, to express my frustration, but I think my mother needed me to stay still and reassure her. Like I said, she seemed nice enough, Chloe too, and I wanted them not to feel hurt even if they were new to me. "So mom's a senator. Dad's no longer with us, and Conner's my brother. I was engaged but I'm not now, and you're my best friend. Where are we? Do I have a job?"

Chloe sighed. "You've sort of had a down swing. After Lois, you lost your job at The Daily Planet because Lex Luthor made cuts and then blacklisted you."

"Wow. What did I do?"

"He's a jerk. He just didn't like you," she said vaguely. "But you were thinking of applying to the local paper The Ledger ."

"So I'm a reporter?"

"Yup."

"Isn't print journalism dead."

Mom blinked at me. "You remember that."

"Yeah and that Lex Luthor is super rich and actually had been assumed dead for a while. I...some of the background stuff is there. Two and two is four. Obama's president, that sort of thing. I just am that blank." Thinking of it more, what I knew about the Planet and of Mr. Luthor, I frowned. "We're in Kansas?"

Mom nodded and forced herself to smile. "This is the family farm. You great grandfather built it by hand. Would you like to see?"

"A farm?"

"Yes like Old McDonald," Chloe snarked. "Well no cows anymore but you have some horses and barn cats."

"A barn?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yeah, let me get some spare clothes from your mom since what's left of my dress is a wreck, but I'll take you to the barn, would you like that?"

"A barn, huh," I said frowning. I didn't really feel like a farm guy to me, more a city person, but she was offering and, like I said, I really liked her. Mom was comforting, had that very kind air to her, but Chloe made me feel safe. I couldn't really explain that. I guess some instinct somewhere knew more than I did. Chloe and mom I trusted. Even if I had no idea what was going on, they'd take care of me.

I was sure of it.

When Chloe came back to my room, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a button down orange shirt. It wasn't that flattering but she was right, definitely an improvement over a ruined wedding dress. I just wish we'd been the ones with the nuptials. She was also holding out a pair of glasses for me.

"You need these."

"Yeah, I gathered because I was squinting like crazy." I plucked the glasses out of her hand and my fingers grazed hers. I smiled at that and, oddly, felt like I should rub my eyes over it.

Random.

Her smile faltered a little but she recovered. "Right, ready for the barn?"

"Sure," I said, coming down the stairs. "Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't take this wrong, but I heard a lot of mumbling down stairs and Conner went to go talk to a Bruce. Other people are visiting right?"

"Yes but they went to the coffee shop in town to give you a little space on the farm. They'll be back with food in about an hour. Your mom and Conner are talking in her room. We just don't want to overwhelm."

"Cause I have no idea what anything is," I said glumly. The little house was quaint, decorated like something maybe out of Rockwell painting. There was even a collection of quilts on the modest sofa and I'd have bet anything that my mom had made them. I did walk over to the mantle in that room, looking over the pictures. There was one of me, much younger, with my mom and a man with blonde hair. I assumed that was my dad but it was odd I was so much darker comparatively, didn't look a thing like them. There wasn't one of Conner or me and Conner as kids, even if I had to be a lot older than he was, maybe even eleven years. There was one of me in football pads and I didn't think I felt like a football guy either. Two side by side caught my attention the most.

One was of me, Chloe, and an African American guy. We couldn't have been more than fourteen judging by how little Chloe looked. The picture next to it seemed more recent. I looked like that guy in the mirror. It was me in my letterman jacket and a girl in a bright gold dress sitting next to me. She was attractive in a playboy bunny way. I got it, a guy with eyes would at least have a passing attraction to her. However, I got nothing from her. Being in Chloe's presence made me feel safe. Her smile, beaming back from the photo I had of her, made me smile a bit too, despite everything.

This woman just gave nothing.

Although we were both wearing crowns at what looked like something for high school reunions? A homecoming thing maybe? Maybe this was Lois?

"The one on the left is from the Corn Fest. That's me, you, and Pete but he moved when we were juniors. On the right is Lois."

"My ex?"

She nodded. "I...she hasn't come by yet, but I'm sure she'd want to visit. It's all been very sudden."

I nodded. "I'll be re-meeting a lot of people I feel right?"

"Yeah, you had your share of good friends," she said, waiting as I gave the pictures one more once over and set them down.

She offered me her hand and I took it gladly, as she led me out the back door, across a small garden and to a barn. It smelled. Not awful, I guess, but it smelled of horses and horse mess, a bit even of old oil, as if tractors had been worked over and fixed repeatedly here.

Maybe they had even if they were no longer here.

"Wow," I said, as she lead me up to the hay loft. "This is a complex set up."

She nodded. "It's not exactly your typical loft. Your dad did it for you when you were a kid, all the space with the sofa and the desk and things like that."

I nodded and went to the loft window, enjoying the breeze and looking out at the rolling fields before me. "So, I'm like Amish?"

She laughed. "No you have TV and internet and stuff. I asked you the same thing first time I brought you up here. You're not Amish, just a little down home."

"I don't even know a thing about horses," I said, turning back to her.

"Oh there are hands for them, and you can learn. Conner can re-teach you."

"I...cool. Do you ride, we could go?"

She snorted. "I suck."

"Well I probably suck. I have no clue how to do it!"

"Maybe you have a kinesthetic memory."

"Maybe, I agreed," sitting on the couch and she sat on the steamer trunk. I wondered if we'd done that a lot, assumed that position to talk to each other over the years. "Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"If I wasn't who you were marrying," I started, adjusting my glasses on my nose. "Who?"

She blushed and looked down at her nails. "Oliver Queen, do you...are there facts in there about him?"

I was gaping at her. Might as well say she was marrying Bill Gates or Bruce Wayne. "Wow, he's a superhero multimillionaire, um, yeah, I'm familiar."

"Well, yeah, but I couldn't do it. So I'm not actually Mrs. Oliver Queen right now."

"I was a guest then right? And I totally ruined your ceremony," I said, sighing. Not that I could apparently help being struck and fried by lightning but I still felt bad she hadn't had a dream wedding for my bad luck.

"No, I...before the storm, I said no. It doesn't matter much. How are you feeling?"

"Really confused. Nothing's familiar, really."

She frowned. "But something is?"

"A little. It's like this impression. I just...I can tell I'm safe with you. Is that weird? You're very comforting."

She blushed. "We've been friends a long time."

"Are you sure we weren't more?"

"Not since high school and then it was a dance," she said, forcing herself to smile but it didn't reach her eyes. I filed that away too, along with the odd stains and the fact there were no pictures of Conner.

"Shame, I'd have liked that," I answered and then, feeling bold, I leaned over and kissed her cheek gently.

"Clark," she started, frowning. "I...that'd be taking advantage of you to start, but there's so much with me and Ollie to settle and just no, Clark."

I nodded. "Oh I know that, but I was doing that to get it out of the way."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"I kissed you to get the tension done with and now we can just be friends."

Chloe still looked so sad as she smiled at me. "I'd like that Clark, I really would."


	31. Chapter 31

**31**

I was still dazed looking back at Clark. He'd kissed me. I mean, sure, it was chaste and on the cheek, but all those assumptions he was insisting on that it had been our wedding he'd been injured at. He was a blank slate, except for what little Conner, Martha, and I had told him. Except he was looking at me the way I'd only ever seen him look at Lana and Lois, this expression of affection. It wasn't lust. I think he was set too blank to really have that as a priority, but it was almost like I hung the moon.

The last time I remembered him looking at me like that, I'd been wearing my cousin's face.

Sighing, I kept the smile on my face. I wanted to reassure him as much as possible. Everything was new and unfamiliar to him after all. I was having bizarre amounts of deja vu between the kiss and the line. I almost wondered if, somewhere deep down, he still remembered some things, almost on a subconscious level. He'd echoed how we'd met so eerily that I couldn't understand it.

"Um, Chloe?" he asked, frowning back at me. "Did I do something wrong? I was kidding. I mean, I know I'm a font of nothing over here. I get that. I just thought that a joke might ease the tension. I'm not gonna lie. I do like you, but friends is good. I...I'm going to need all the friends I can get."

I nodded and patted the top of his right hand. "Oh I know. I understand. Everything's so new and if you need to try and lighten the mood, I get that. I didn't take it the wrong way. I've known you for years, after all. You and your whole family. Kent boys are many things, but gentlemen is one of them."

"Cool. So, I spent a lot of time here?" he asked, wrinkling his nose a bit.

"Yeah. It's where you did your schoolwork more than you in your room. You really liked it here."

He frowned and started polishing his glasses on the hem of a his shirt. "It kind of smells."

"Well that's what happens with horses," I said, laughing a little. "I think you'll get used to it again."

"I feel like a city guy!"

I quirked my head at him. "How would you know? You've lived in Metropolis for about six months while, uh, your mom and some hands managed the farm."

"Must be nice to be a senator."

"It's not that much, but she has been able to keep the farm cared for even while you were focusing on The Planet . There's a lot of stuff we could try to jog your memory. I'm not an idiot. I know you've had a big trauma and that showing you a million pictures or telling you 'this one time...' stories won't cure it. It might help, but trying to go from zero to sixty all at once? I don't want to make you feel worse."

"Like that everyone's just gonna expect me to have an a-ha moment."

I nodded and forced myself not to cry. Clark had been fried saving me after all. If I'd not been so stupid to ask Conner for a few minutes or to have done the big dramatic runaway in the first place. I should have faced my real feelings about Oliver and Clark, not left us alone and vulnerable in the Watchtower. Still, he was right. None of us were fools. Granny's power was potent and I'd already tried healing him once with no effect. It was possible Zatanna had an idea, something from her father's notes, but outside of that, none of us expected Clark to wake up one day intact.

It wasn't how Granny's ability worked.

"We really don't, Clark. I know we'll have expectations and won't be able to help talking about inside jokes or those things we used to do, that's something we'll try not to hurt you with. We all have to learn together."

He nodded and, reaching out, squeezed my shoulder. "You're crying."

Wiping at my eyes, I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. This whole thing is my fault."

"Because I was outside to get struck?" he joked weakly. "I think whatever happened is pretty much an act of God thing."

"But my lack of good planning made you vulnerable. I should have been a lot smarter, Clark."

He considered that. "I'm not saying I'm not incredibly scared and frustrated. That would be a lie, but I'm not going to start blaming someone I'm just getting to know. That'd be mean and pointless."

"Still, I helped ruin your life." What had been left of it after he'd been stripped anyways.

"Well, if you think about it," Clark said quietly. "I'm alive and healthy as far as my body goes. I must have a lot of people who care about me between my family and you and the people who are still out grabbing a coffee. Apparently, I even have a nice farm, um, as far as farms go, and you said I was applying for a job again?"

"You'd thought about it."

And that wasn't exactly a lie. He had considered The Ledger before deciding he'd rather spend his time at Watchtower training and not get bogged down in such a long commute.

"See-most of my health, people who care, a place to live and inroads for a job. That's more than a lot of people get. I'm not in pain or anything, Chloe."

I nodded and let myself squeeze the hand on my shoulder back. "I'm glad then. We'll do whatever we can. I'm not saying things might not come back. I'm not, but I am saying we understand it's not a lightswitch either if it does come back."

That was also true. Tess hadn't remembered much about being with Granny or a Fury in training, but Clark had once told me some of her repressed memories had helped lead them to Granny's. It wasn't much but maybe something would eventually trickle to the surface. Something already had to be there when he'd kissed my cheek, relived almost what had happened twelve years ago.

"Cool, but I'll try my best. It's like there's this huge wall in my head. I can tell you who Jackie Chan is or how many states are in the United States or what photosynthesis is. There's a lot of stuff crammed up here, but not one fact about 'Clark Kent' and his life. I guess I'm glad I still remember how to walk and feed myself."

"Don't even joke."

"I wasn't! I could be a lot worse off is all I meant. But you and mom and Conner? Everyone else? You're gonna help me until I get a handle on this?"

"Always, Clark. Best friends would do that for each other." He'd done that for me too, when I'd been blanking because of Brainiac, fought hard for and eventually won my memories back. I could do no less for him, especially since Granny had used us being alone as her chance to strike.

"Good, so, did I keep anything that'd really help me up here? Something familiar?"

"Maybe?" I hedged, hopping off the steamer trunk and opening it up for him.

I wasn't a fool and neither was Bruce. We'd taken anything alien that Clark had ever had-Swann and Carter's journals, crystals from Kara and for the Phantom Zone, his key to the caves-and locked them away in the storm cellar. There was nothing in immediate access he could find about his real origins. We'd take the material to Watchtower when we figured out if we'd renovate it or if we'd move everything as a base of operations to Ollie's satellite. Again, I hoped for the latter. There was too much pain that I'd experienced in that building, too much loss, to ever be comfortable there again.

I knelt down and he did the same beside me, his long torso still dwarfing mine.

Leaning over, he pulled out his letterman jacket. "I was wearing this in that picture."

I nodded. "You were quarterback senior year. You won the state championship. It was a pretty big deal for Smallville High and, well, your dad was really proud. He'd been a cornerback when he'd been a teenager."

He frowned. "Just senior year?"

"Yup. It was sort of a lark thing. You'd always been more into the paper and working the farm, which, frankly, used to be more strapped before your mom's job. You had a lot of natural talent."

"And apparently better eyesight," he said ruefully, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"Yeah, you sort of started really getting nearsighted after high school. I guess the NFL didn't beckon."

"Ha," he laughed. "I just, huh. I guess I've done a lot of things. Stupid to not even know them but it's like twenty five years blanked out. I...do impressions make any sense? I keep feeling that I liked being a city guy for the Planet, that the rural's not all me, all the time. I feel I'm definitely more a deep thoughts, writer guy than a jock."

"Well it was the one year, you decided to be more serious for college."

He frowned and started pulling out old textbooks, mostly some history and English comp books from his first year of college. (Well his only year.) Clark thumbed through it, reading the stamp on the inside of the book's cover. "Central Kansas A & M. Did you go there too?"

I shook my head. "After high school, we hung out around town here. We had some stuff in common at the Planet. I mean we never overlapped working there, but after I left and you got a job there we did a lot of sniping at entry level politics and the editors we hated over coffee."

"So you?"

"I did work for The Register in Star City, but I'm not sure. I might transfer back to The Journal ."

"But not the DP? Isn't it the best, maybe second to The New York Times , maybe not?"

I blinked. It was weird what Granny had or hadn't taken. "Lex Luthor owns it. He has for years and it hasn't been a honest paper since about 2007. I don't deal with Luthors."

"Oh," he replied. "But I did?"

"I've had my run-ins with Lex and his dad. You felt differently. You're a good reporter. Don't let my Lex hate get you confused. I just don't like what the DP's become now."

He nodded, digesting all of it. "So we hung out a lot despite different colleges and you having a job like two hours from here? I must have had a lot of gas money!"

I nodded and kept my voice level. "We made it work because we wanted it to. I guess an editor and her minion's relationship doesn't fade over time."

"Huh?"

Sighing, I passed him our yearbook from senior year, flipping to The Torch page. "I was the EIC of the school paper for four years and you were my chief reporter. It sounds more auspicious than it was. We were the only consistent staffers all that time, but we did well together."

"Cool," he said, flipping through more pages. "Wow, that's us."

I looked over his shoulder and smiled more broadly, some of it genuine. I knew the photo of us. I had it in my office at ISIS and then in Watchtower. It was in my own yearbook and I'd spent a long time after De Saad's temptations gazing at it. The caption the yearbook had chosen for the candid was "best friends." After everything we'd been through from Jimmy's murder to our own dark obsessions to both our not-weddings, I hoped we could still be friends.

Even if I was hiding huge chunks of his life from him.

It was for the best after all.

"Yeah. I...see, told you we were friends."

He eyed me, and I couldn't place the look. "Hmm."

"Hmm what?"

"You're a lot thinner now, like maybe too much. You should probably eat more."

"Excuse me?"

He pointed between the picture and me now. "Definitely need a few more sandwiches."

"Uh, thanks?" I said, not sure of how to take it.

Yeah, I'd lost a lot of weight especially after all the stress from being unemployed. I did notice Clark sneak a look at my, um, assets in the picture of us. I'd been a lot curvier once. It was confusing again. Considering how much time he'd spent in love with a girl as lithe as Lana or one, really, as perfect as my cousin, I didn't think he'd ever thought one way or the other of my curves, or, what girls like Dawn, had teased as my big arms.

"Oh, I screwed up. I guess I never said anything like that before?"

"Nope. Still, interesting. I figured guys never noticed those things. I'd get haircuts and you'd never get it."

"Well, guys aren't always so clueless," he defended. "If you need to go check in with all my friends and see if they're back from the coffee run, you can."

"Do you need a moment?"

He nodded. "I think I'm going to read through the yearbook and see if anything clicks. I promise I'll be right here, sitting calmly."

"I'll send Conner out here anyway. I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

"Thanks, Chloe," he said, turning back to the annual. "Thanks for everything."

Everyone was already hanging around the kitchen when I walked inside, carryout cartons from a very reinvigorated Beanery scattered over the counters. Diana and Bruce were talking quietly at the table, while J'onn was helping Martha clean some of the dishes at the sink. Conner was sitting at the island, picking half-heartedly at a pumpkin muffin, while Ollie was leaning against the doorway between the kitchen and living room, a cup of coffee still steaming in his hand.

They all stared up at me when I entered, probably expecting me to be leading Clark behind me. I shrugged and waved when they realized it was just me.

"Hi."

"Chloe, how is he?" Martha asked, worrying her bottom lip.

"The same. He's pretty agreeable, even tried make jokes to cheer me up. I left him reading through his old yearbook in the loft, but Conner?"

He nodded. "You'd feel better Granny-wise if I were there."

"Yeah, let's never make that mistake again, you know?"

He gave another nod and started out the door. "I...Bruce told me we can't say anything. So I promise I won't even think about using my powers unless the Furies show up. You can count on me, Chlo."

I nodded. "Thanks, Superboy."

"No prob, Watchtower," he said, stepping out the door.

I did trust him, despite his impetuousness and tendency to want to go off half-cocked (completely a Clark thing because all Luthors had the patience of grand master chess champions). Conner wanted his "brother" and his idol to be as safe as he could be. He'd do whatever was best to keep Clark happy and safe.

It was good we had a ready-made Kryptonian bodyguard around.

"He said he'd be ready to re-meet everyone in a bit," I admitted, grabbing my own cup of espresso and taking a greedy sip. "He's trying so hard to make me and Martha feel better. I'm sure he'll have a break down on this pretty soon. The last time he lost his memories-a day or so from a meteor freak in high school-he was pretty frustrated. Of course, he didn't have Martha and Jonathan in town at the time. I just...he's trying to be so patient."

J'onn patted my shoulder. "I don't agree with our decision, but I do understand your sentiments beyond just League security. I do understand that you want him to be better, happy, Chloe and we'll see how that goes. The only thing we can do is support him."

Martha shook her head and scrubbed a plate fiercely. "We could tell him."

"Senator Kent," Bruce replied. "We've been through this. It'll do him no good. Oliver's analogy is apt. He's been in a war between the meteor infected and extraterrestrial and even Luthorian threats for over a decade. He's been given a discharge. He can rest."

"I know...I just, this is his life and we're not giving it all back to him. I can't pretend it won't bite us back eventually. Jonathan and I, once he got to high school, we decided never to tell him about his ship. We thought it might be best if he assumed it was some sort of adrenaline processing problem. He'd already half decided that was what it was. Then he got slammed into by a car and didn't die. He was so angry when he realized we'd lied."

Diana nodded. "Understandable, but we shall be better secret keepers. Bruce isn't wrong. Clark's earned this rest, this chance to start over again without his burdens. He gave everything to the fight, two times over, really if you also consider he tried to go back to it as a mortal. I believe this may bring him some peace he's sorely lacked."

I sighed and looked down at the engagement ring still on my hand. I had been a big source of his pain and troubles after he'd been stripped, as if being handicapped hadn't been hard enough for him to bear. "We're doing the right thing. I believe that. It's just so sad to see him. He's lost everything and he's still trying to make sure other people feel better."

"It's his nature," Martha said simply, returning to her work.

"Yeah, I...Conner can probably keep him distracted for a little while longer, you know? But he'll be in to meet everyone else." I took a deep breath and sipped my precious caffeine. "I'm going to be out on the front porch. I need a minute. I don't want him to see me upset. I already got a little teary with him and I don't want to...it's hard enough without me having issues."

Bruce and Diana both frowned as I surged past Ollie to the porch. I got about two minutes by myself on the swing before I was interrupted. Staring out at the collection of sunflowers in the garden, I had hoped that the coughing was J'onn, that he wanted to console me, something he had done before as a pseudo-father figure.

I shook my head when it was Ollie.

He walked over but decided to sit in a wicker chair by the porch railing instead. I appreciated that. "We haven't had time to talk."

Nodding, I raked a hand through my hair. "You mean anything more substantial than about Clark's problem since I..."

"You said 'no,' Chloe. We were standing in front of every business associate and family friend I've ever had and you said 'no.'" His voice was quiet and broken.

I'd been so wrong, clinging to Oliver, whom I did care about, who, despite everything, was a good man and someone who'd helped save me from my isolation. He just wasn't the man I loved the most, had never been and that wasn't his fault. In fact it had little to do with him; Clark had been under my skin since I was thirteen. No one else could compare to that. If I hadn't run so hard, I'd have seen things sooner, cut the wedding stuff off before anyone was hurt. But now Ollie was shattered and humiliated and Clark, God, he'd never be himself again.

"I couldn't, Oliver. I was standing there in front of God and all our friends and a freaking priest going on about honesty and commitment and I just couldn't. I do care about you. I loved you even, but-"

"Not the way you love him ," he added bitterly. He had a right to be that. This was probably the worst day of his life since his parents had died.

"I tried so hard. I tried so hard to get Clark out of my system, to move on. I wasn't wrong. I do love you, but not enough to be bound to you for like fifty years, not more than I love him."

"Clark's gone, Chloe. You do understand that, right? He doesn't remember shit about you. Not the little jokes from middle school, not the romantic ups and downs of high school and beyond, forget the world saving stuff. Clark's not there. I am."

Sighing, I squeezed one hand around the porch swing chain. "I know he's not coming back. I mean, maybe Zatanna has a trick up her sleeve but Granny's magick is old an powerful. I doubt there's a cure for him. I know I can't and my ability can raise the damn dead."

Oliver nodded. "It's definitely back then?"

I nodded and pulled down my shirt collar enough to show him my shoulder. Yesterday, it had been shredded by the Fury. Now it looked as if nothing had ever happened to it. "Yup, one hundred percent powered," I said replied, my own bitterness creeping in.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. Still, Ollie, I don't care. I don't care if Clark's never exactly my Clark again. I love him. I love that kid in the loft and the reporter. I loved him before I knew he had abilities and even after he'd lost them. I can't abandon him when this is my fucking fault for getting us separated and vulnerable, my stunt made us Granny bait."

"I do remember you, Chloe. We've had an amazing year and a half together. You're going to throw that away for someone who just met you?"

"Multiply what we have by eight, at least. That's how long Clark and I have been that close, even if not romantically. Add in the world-saving and keeping each other safe, and it's infinitely different. I...Oliver, I'm not the girl for you. I'll always be missing or thinking about Clark first and that's not fair to you or to either of us."

He nodded and stared at his hands. "So in bed, you were-"

"I never thought about him there. I'd never use you like that, but, no, I couldn't marry you when I knew I was more in love with someone else. It'd be cruel."

"And you couldn't have told me before we were standing in front of everyone?"

I sighed and the cold of the chain bit more deeply into my hand. "I should have. I never should have come up with a real wedding to start with. I used you to run from my feelings and I'm so sorry."

"I am too, Chloe. I thought you were better than that."

Looking up at him, dropping both hands to my lap, I added. "Me too, Ollie, me too. I...will you come with me to the loft?"

"Why? Even if it's not his fault, even if he doesn't know me from Adam, Clark's the last person I want to see right now."

"Because it's a bit of a double check frankly. I want to see how much he remembers about the League and superheroes. I think that's completely blank too but you're the only one of us who ever went public. I want to see if he remembers anything about you that he shouldn't, outside of clearly seeming to know you're pretty much infamous for your exploits."

"Alright, just to make sure the League's still secure," he said. "But I'm going home to Star City for a while, Chloe. I assume you'll be staying here to help him. I can't...it's too hard to watch all of this."

I thought back to my own flight from Metropolis, something partially inspired by the pain of watching my cousin usurp my life. "I understand. Just help me make sure all our secrets are safe and I won't ask any more of you."

"You've already taken too much," he replied, standing with me and heading to the barn.

And, yeah, I probably deserved that.


	32. Chapter 32

I was reading my senior page and feeling very frustrated when Conner came up the stairs. The thing about the senior page was that it had all these shout outs. It would talk about Chloe of course and apparently this Lois girl must have been at our high school for a time. But it also talked about people (first name, last initial) who I guess I'd known from football or The Torch and not one name rung a bell. I suppose, even if I had written the last names on the dedication, I'd still have fuck-all clue who they were.

I kept finding things that didn't make sense though. Chloe was clearly holding things back but I assumed she didn't want to dump to much on me at once, make me feel pressure. Still, things were off. Not only were there no pictures of Conner in the house, in my dedication page I'd talked about thanking my mom and dad but neglected to mention my younger brother. Similarly, as nice as Chloe had been about my just random football talent for a year, and, yeah, I bought that in the last almost eight years my vision had gotten worse. That did happen. But I wasn't an idiot. People didn't essentially walk onto Varsity in anything, start instantly, and be a championship winning quarterback at seventeen. Athletes of real caliber had to practice and play for years, hone their skills. Even if I had spent years throwing imaginary passes through tire swings or something, there was no way I should have been a walk-on turned superhero on the field and then what?

I just decided not to take a free ride at college?

Made no sense.

"Clark? Hey," Conner said, sitting at what I assumed had been my desk once and offering me a pained smile. "How's memory lane?"

"Not anything I remember. I...Conner, don't take this the wrong way-"

He stilled, instantly frowning. "But?"

"Where are your pictures?"

"Huh?"

"You're not on the mantle and I didn't mention you in my yearbook dedication. Isn't that weird? Did we fight a lot as kids? Are your pics in D.C. with mom's stuff?"

Conner blushed. "We're adopted."

"Oh." That made a lot of sense. I didn't look a thing like mom or dad. Conner, well, you could almost see the redhead in him, at least with his more pale complexion. I, however, had nothing similar to Martha or Jonathan Kent. "I think that adds up?"

He nodded and started wringing his hands. "You and I are brothers. You were adopted when you were three but I ended up being passed around foster care a lot. I mean, I guess bio-mom didn't learn her lesson about birth control first time around."

"Ouch."

He nodded. "You had a lot of the Norman Rockwell thing and I was with different families for a while. My last guardian, Tess, was really great but she died a few months back. She helped track you down as my biological family and we've been doing that bonding, getting-to-know-you thing since February."

"What month is it now?"

"September, uh, the 18th."

"Thanks," I drawled. I didn't even know the month.

"Was she sick?"

"Tess?"

"Yeah, if she went through all that effort to track me down as your blood family, then she what? Had a terminal illness and wanted you to still be cared for?"

Conner concentrated on the floor boards. "She was murdered. Tess brought me to meet you because she thought I'd be happier knowing I had a real brother out there. The part where she died...that shocked all of us."

"I'm sorry. So my dad's not here and Tess is gone. I'm really sorry."

He nodded and his breath hitched a bit as he spoke. "Mom's awesome. She's really taken care of me. I used to spend all my time in D.C. I am technically in school there, but I can do senior year anywhere. Now that you're recuperating in Smallville, I think I'll transfer here too."

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Yup. Sidwell's too snotty anyway."

"Yeah but it's like nice Washington school versus podunk high. You'd probably get a way better education there, better college recs."

He laughed. "Clark, mom's now the senior senator from Kansas after the other guy retired and Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen are both family friends. I think I have all the references I need."

My eyes widened. "How many billionaires do I know?"

"Well Ollie's interest were hit hard in the last stock crash so only a hundreds of millions-aire," Conner added flippantly. "But, yeah, a lot. I mean Lex did fire your personally. Bruce and Ollie are family friends. They are both big supporters of mom's work both with education and immigration reform and the VRA stuff."

"Huh, weird. I know really rich people." I frowned. "So does that mean Chloe met Oliver through me? Since he was helping with mom's like campaign funding?"

"Yeah, basically. You're her link to him."

"And they're gonna try again to get married, right? I hate I had an accident and it fucked up her marriage."

"Again, lightning? So not your fault. Second, I don't think Chloe really loves him."

My mouth hung open and I decided I liked my little brother a lot. He was very blunt and was giving me a lot of hope about Chloe. "Really?"

"Yeah, I..." he stopped then and quirked his head oddly, almost as if he were a dog listening for its master. Then he shrugged. "I'll tell you about them later."

"Why not now?"

"Trust me, later," Conner replied. "Still, so you like Chloe, huh? God, you're still transparent."

"Did I like her before? She said we hadn't even tried dating since high school."

"But you have this back and forth dance going on where she's passively-aggressively into you and vice-versa and it's just like 'kiss already!'"

"Wow, so we're...we were -"

"Extremely complicated," Conner said, looking over the railing and lowering his voice. "But don't worry. I pay it forward."

"Huh?"

"You helped set me up with my girlfriend and I'll play cupid back for your and Chloe. If it were up to me, you'd be together already."

I snorted. "Yeah, but I'm like a carrot!"

"A walking, talking carrot," the girl in question said, while coming up the stairs.

The man behind her I only knew from press conferences and newspaper headlines. It was surreal. Oliver Queen, even if he wasn't as rich as he had been, was one of the most famous and powerful businessmen in the country. As far as I knew he was the only one who moonlit as a superhero or vigilante, I suppose it depended on how one looked at it.

I stood up instantly and set down my yearbook. Reaching over, I offered him. "Mr. Queen or, uh, I dunno, do you prefer Green Arrow?"

Posture rigid, he glanced at Chloe and then shrugged. "Just Oliver is fine. We used to be on a first name basis."

"Wow."

"Yup," he said, watching as Chloe went back to perch on the steamer trunk but stayed standing himself. "Chloe says you don't remember much about you."

"Not a thing," I admitted. "Conner and she have worked hard so far to fill in the blanks."

"Like?"

"Oh Conner explained how we're adopted and he spent a long time in foster care and that's why we don't have pictures of him as a kid."

Chloe glared at Conner but said nothing. In turn, my brother gulped. Huh, maybe they were gonna ease me into the adopted thing. It wasn't so bad. Martha Kent was unfamiliar to me either way, whether she was my birth mother or not. So far, I just knew she, Chloe, and Conner were patient and sympathetic and that worked for me. Besides, from the way Conner talked, it sounded like my biological parents hadn't been all that interested in us.

"Good man," Oliver replied. "But you do remember things like how many days in a year and who's the mayor? Background stuff?"

"I know you're the Green Arrow. I know you have a huge company and tons of money," I answered. "I guess that's about it. Obviously you were gonna marry Chloe before I got hurt. She and Conner both said as much."

"That's about right," Oliver said stonily. "I...what do you know about my, well, night hobby."

"The superhero stuff? Well, huh. I know there were others in Metropolis for a while, like some Blur guy, I guess. Others too but mainly the Green Arrow and The Blur. I...actually now that you ask, something's here but really fuzzy."

Oliver shot Chloe a glance and she bit her lower lip before asking. "What?"

"I...were people mad at you? I know, well, Conner mentioned your stock crashed a bit. Still, I...there's something else about Vigilantes and like the military maybe?"

"The Vigilante Registration Act ," Oliver clarified. "Yeah it was a big thing last fall and winter about superheroes being classified as vigilantes and it being made a crime to patrol. Your mom helped repeal it and you and Lois wrote a lot of articles about the proceedings here in Metropolis and the different opinions on me and The Blur. Do you remember writing the series?"

"No, but I sort of get that people were upset for a long time about if we needed vigilantes or not. I guess I can't even remember my own portfolio. I'm sorry."

Chloe relaxed and I wasn't sure why. "It's not your fault. Lois and you shared some bylines and she keeps her portfolio up-to-date. Would you like her to visit tomorrow? She can bring a spare set of the articles for you so you can make your own portfolio and resume. You don't have to try The Ledger if you don't want to, but she can help you piece your professional stuff back together."

Conner rolled his eyes behind her but said nothing. It was my first indication he didn't think much of Lois. Weird.

"That might help. I'd like to see if I could actually string words together before I apply to even a small town paper," I answered. "But, yeah, so I'm not completely off base. I didn't like get the world mixed up with X-Men , right? Blur, Green Arrow, um, Wonder Woman and The Batman. They're all real right?"

Oliver nodded. "We're real yeah and no longer outlaws which is a major plus."

"But all hush-hush, I'm sure," I replied. "Must be cool though, Mr. Queen, to be out fighting crime and know all the superheroes out there."

"Oliver, like I said, Clark. It's never boring; let's leave it at that."

"Cool. I...I think it's good, what you guys do. I mean, you're sort of Robin Hood but with leather!"

Conner started to laugh and Chloe eyed him. "Yeah, that's a way to put it, Clark."

Chloe sighed. "Conner, we were gonna go in, Clark and I, to meet everyone left. Can you not be seventeen for a few minutes."

"Unlikely, Chlo, but I can behave," my brother replied, standing up and, for all his attitude, he wasn't much bigger than she was. I chuckled at the tableau as we all made it down the stairs and into the kitchen.

I still thought it was weird. I guess average guys in my situation wouldn't wake up to a world where their mom was a fairly influential senator and hung around with a billionaire and CEO-superhero. It was a little much, I admit. So when I came into the kitchen to see Bruce Wayne, even though I was told he'd be there, sipping coffee and eating a bagel?

It was weird.

Like I said, you wake up blank one day and find out your mom's like best friends with Bill Gates or Donald Trump. Just so odd.

I offered a polite smile and offered my hand to him at the table. "Clark Kent, nice to re-meet you."

Bruce Wayne smiled but it seemed artificial on him, not that he was mad at me, more like Mr. Wayne didn't smile, wasn't used to make the motion. "Clark, how are you?"

"Still in one piece," I said, sighing. I turned to the woman sitting next to him. She was very pretty, different from Chloe. Tall, busty, strong looking and, yeah, when I said tall I mean like close to six feet. She smiled warmly in contrast to Bruce's feigned expression, and reached up to hug my shoulders. "Uh, hi."

She pulled back and bowed her head a little. "I'm Diana Prince. I work with Bruce at his company but we met through him basically."

A lot of people had met me "basically." I was gonna have to get a notebook to start filing through all the things that were not quite right or fudged over even in the first two hours I'd been awake.

"Great, Ms. Prince, Mr. Wayne. Pleasure to meet you."

Diana laughed, something rich and throaty. "Diana, Clark. Just Diana and Bruce."

"Gee," I replied, looking between him and Oliver. "I dunno. They're famous and rich and maybe that's not very polite to drop the 'Mr.' They are a lot older than I am."

Again, the random facts I knew about the rich people in my kitchen but nothing about me.

"I'd prefer it," Bruce replied. "If you just kept to my first name. I'm just a guy."

Behind me, Conner chuckled a little. "If not mega-rich and super stubborn."

"That said," Chloe added, "Bruce is mostly like anyone else. He has no sense of humor, but he's a casual guy."

I blinked at his stony expression. Yeah, Bruce wasn't going to be a stand-up comedian any time soon. "Alright, Bruce and Diana, but if you feel I'm not being polite enough, please let me know."

Diana's smile broadened. "No, thank you, Clark. You've always been a gentleman, at least that's not changed."

"I...cool," I said, frowning when In realized Oliver hadn't followed us in. "Wait, we're missing someone?"

Chloe blushed. "Ollie has to go home to Star City."

"Do you?"

She blushed even brighter. "I'm going to be staying here, actually. Not the farm, but there's a modest hotel I can afford in Granville and I'll commute to The Journal from there. I worked there this summer and I'm sure they'll have me back at the trusty fifth floor."

"But you're engaged and have a life in Star City and you don't have to live in podunk."

My mom shook her head at the nickname but said nothing, just leaned into the tall African American man who was standing near her at the sink.

"I'd like to help you while you recover. Besides," she said, pointing to her now naked left ring finger. "I'm not engaged anymore."

There was a long silence in the kitchen, where no one said anything. After what seemed like forever, I broke the silence myself. "Um, mom," I started, floundering for neutral conversation. "Who's your friend?"

The man reached his hand out to me and shook it. "John Jones. I'm the head of your mother's security detail."

"Is that all?" I asked, picking up on their body language.

My mom shook her head. "We're dating, have been for a while now, about the time Conner started to live with me in D.C."

I shrugged. "Cool. Nice to meet you."

John frowned at me. "Thank you."

"What?"

"Well, to be honest," Conner said. "It sort of used to freak you out."

"Oh, well, I guess I could freak out about it, but I'm not mad. If you take care of mom and make her happy, that's a good thing right? She seems like she should be happy. She does a lot of important things and, I dunno, she takes care of me and Conner. She should have something for her too."

John was still wide-eyed at me. "Thank you again, Clark. That's a nice blessing."

"Not really. I mean, you just seem to be helping her through my memory repo thing. I take that as a sign you're good moral support."

Mom walked over and hugged me for a long time and, again, I let her. I had a feeling the old me hadn't been as nice about the dating thing. I mean, yeah, the thought of old people dating-any old people-is kind of weird. But he seemed really nice to her and mom could use all the good stuff in her life she could get, especially since I had no idea who I was.

"Thank you, Clark."

"I, uh, yeah," I said, pulling away and standing by the island. "Look, I think I just need some rest. I've had a lot through my brain in a few hours. I didn't keep a journal did I?"

"No, but I can bring some of the family photo albums up in a bit. Whatever you need, sweetheart," mom said.

I nodded and hugged her again, instincts screaming that I needed to make her feel better. "I'd like that a lot." And, despite myself, before I left, I squeezed Chloe's hand. She looked like someone who was having a bad day too.

I knew the feeling.

Everyone cleared out fairly soon after that. Diana and Bruce headed home to Metropolis (he apparently had been visiting from Gotham for establishing company holdings in the Big Apricot), and John took Chloe to Granville and both checked into a hotel there. It left me, mom, and Conner going through a ton of old pictures of me for the night. Conner seemed even more interested than I was. I gathered that, even if we'd known each other for seven months and gotten used to considering each other as brothers, there was a lot about my life and, especially, about my father that Conner hadn't known.

Maybe this was good for all three of us-mom to remember her husband, Conner to get to see the happier times in his new family, and me to just try getting traction on my life. Nothing jogged anything, not really, but I noticed an odd pattern, as if you could divide my life in thirds, although not even thirds.

The pictures of me as a kid and a young teenager, maybe middle school age, had me smiling so broadly, very happy. I seemed to laugh a ton in pictures with my parents or that Pete kid with Chloe too. Then, I dunno, maybe high school had just depressed me. I still smiled in most of the pictures but it didn't really seem that genuine, sometimes looked troubled. Everything after Jonathan Kent's funeral was worse. There weren't as many pictures from the last five years as there had been in the first seventeen or so. Many were actually taken in D.C. with me and mom at her office or at what must have been her home there, even at landmarks. Later, some with all three of us, Conner included. I never smiled in those. Even in the precious few with Conner, well, I almost looked like was gonna cry.

Not that I felt like a crier. Guys didn't tend to do that. I just looked so depressed, like breathing hurt.

I wonder if that was all from my father's death or maybe that Lois girl and I had been having problems long before she broke off our engagement. I don't know. I just looked miserable.

I wondered what kind of guy I'd been before, wondered if I even wanted those memories back.

Still, even if it didn't jog anything in my mind, mom and Conner seemed comforted by it. It did make me feel closer to them, like, even if our family was unconventional and blended that we did love each other a lot.

Again, at least with Chloe, mom, and Conner, I felt safe. Maybe adrift, but at least loved and protected.

I liked that.

After memory lane time, mom went to her room to get to look up information on how to enroll Conner by Tuesday (it was too late for tomorrow but people often didn't refuse senators) at Smallville High. Conner was in his room, sounded like he was playing some very obnoxious video game. I had the TV in my room on, playing CNN. I was sort of with it on current events. I guess I hadn't expected it to be September, but most stuff I knew. Still, it was interesting watching the coverage of a fire in the warehouse district from tonight, to see Batman and Wonder Woman put it out and rescue the people trapped inside.

Very cool.

Still, I felt, I dunno, restless. I found a notebook on my desk. It was something that was half-filled with old chemistry notes. The other half was blank. Picking up a half-chewed Bic, I started to write. At first, actually, I started to talk about my day, write down the facts about myself I was certain of. Then, thinking better of it, I tore out a small piece of paper and wrote down a list of things that didn't make sense:

* weird adoption history  
>* knows a lot of billionaires<br>* football prodigy (?)  
>* hung out all the time with friend working two hours away when gas expensive as hell<br>* Chloe and mom and Conner exchange lots of looks and weird pauses when talking

Again, nothing super wrong, I guess. It made sense mom would have benefactors. It even made sense Conner was a long lost relative, that did happen. But something still felt weird. Maybe I really had been a reporter because taking notes, trying to piece the irregularities together really appealed to me. I trusted my family, sure, but it didn't mean that things seemed a bit off.

I folded the paper over a few times and shoved them in the back of the middle drawer of my dresser, underneath a well worn paperback dictionary.

I'd be going back to that.

Still, it was only nine p.m. I flipped back through my notebook, past the page of 'facts about Clark Kent' I'd started, and just, well, as odd as this sounds, I started to write. Not journal but write fiction. This makes me sound so lame, but I just had this idea, an inspiration after watching Wonder Woman and The Batman.

I spent the next two hours writing-much to my dismay, I realized quickly that I couldn't draw-about the adventures of a different superhero in Metropolis. I know that sounds really dorky, but I just had this image in my head of someone who had a lot of Wonder Woman's abilities, the flight and strength and speed, but he was a guy, a guy with a red cape.

I called him Superman.

For a comic book character, I could have done worse.

If only I could draw. I had this...I dunno...thought of how I wanted his cape to look, the emblem on it, yeah, not unlike The Blur's had been (not that that was copyrighted). I just couldn't describe it right but, really, it was supposed to be look like a figure eight in a diamond.

Yeah, definitely like that.


	33. Chapter 33

When I woke up, I showered, dressed and combed out my hair in short succession. It wasn't like the Hampton Inn in Granville was all that amazing, but I'd already awoken at eight and wanted to get down to what was left of a modest do-it-yourself waffle breakfast. Besides, I knew J'onn. He'd be scarfing down chocolate muffins and other pastry goodies and probably catching up on the news from the television. Some of that would be just waking up in the morning and keeping abreast of the world, something no one on Justice could afford to ignore. However, I knew he'd want to talk to me. After all, among all of us, except for Martha, he was responsible for Clark, had been entrusted as his guardian. Martha had found him and I'd chosen him, but the real Jor-El and Lara had trusted Clark's safety to him. I assumed it ate him up as it did me and Martha that, for all our efforts, for all our machinations, we had failed him.

Clark wasn't in pain as far as I could tell. He was handicapped and he was confused and, I suspected, a lot more fearful than he let on. I knew the last time he'd been wiped, he'd gotten very frustrated and bitter. Granted he hadn't had as broad a support system and his mother had been out of town, adding to his dismay, but I could also tell after a dozen years when Clark was putting on a front. He wasn't, somehow, as shitty a liar with his secret weighing him down but he wasn't great at it either. I could tell-and I assumed Martha as well-that he was nonsensically trying to be strong for us.

It was a noble gesture, especially for people he barely knew.

I knew Clark, even this version had similarities, some oddly eerie and said a lot for natural born temperament. He still wouldn't keep up the facade for long, no matter how much he didn't want to upset me and his family. He'd crash hard and the best the Kents, J'onn, and I could do was brace for when it happened.

I found J'onn at a modest table, and, true to form, finishing what looked like a second chocolate muffin.

"Hey," I said, taking my seat. "I have to call Lois today. I assume Z can pop her over with Clark's articles and portfolio. I think he'd like that."

"Seeing Lois?" J'onn asked, tone neutral.

"No, well, I dunno. She doesn't seem to jog anything. He's seen a few pictures by now of her, stuff from homecoming, but he's still not registering her. I don't know if he will."

"Well since they were on poor terms before and she's also seeing someone, I don't see any even subconscious incentive."

I blushed. Somehow, despite Lois's frustration and despite her new, tenuous relationship, hell, despite the fact Clark remembered nothing, I expected them to get back together. I'd seen him get worked up over Lana without his memory last time, and, yeah, I really didn't need to know that about heat vision. I didn't see why "defaulted," he wouldn't go back to Lois now.

Maybe it was paranoid, but I'd been kicked so many times in my life. It was probably petty that I'd always be jealous of my cousin, of what she almost had and could have had she tried harder. I knew Clark had said a lot of things before Granny hurt him, but his life had been in free fall and it was hard to trust anything he'd talked about, as if clinging to me was the last thing he could think of to give his life some semblance of familiarity or meaning.

Now?

I was even more adrift in any type of relationship with him. I'd always be his friend, but now I felt more like a parent or caregiver, as odd as that concept was. I mean, yeah, since I'd learned of his abilities, I'd been his sidekick and back up and saved his life a lot, but he did the same for me, even swap. Now that part of our relationship, our shared mission that had brought us closer (and yeah given us some stress two years ago...okay a ton of stress) was gone. He wasn't who he'd been, but oddly familiar at the same time, that boy I'd known from middle school and early in high school, before Luthor scrutiny and his dad's illness especially. But he was washed clean, desperate for help and guidance and I couldn't take advantage of that. It wasn't that he was child-like. It was more that he was at a point where he would probably be clinging to anyone who was kind to him. I couldn't abuse that. He just didn't know me the same way, wouldn't be informed enough to really choose.

Yeah, so he felt safe with me and oddly open about being, well, into me somehow, miracle of miracles. I didn't believe that it would last. Not like it ever had coalesced in the first twelve years.

So, yeah, a big ball of confusion was what I was, which did match Clark.

"Chloe?" J'onn broached. "You became distant."

I sighed and sipped my coffee. I'd hitch black coffee on an IV to me some days if I could. "I know, I just...she's familiar."

"So are you and Martha, especially, and nothing has registered for him. Do you think pushing him to The Ledger is wise?"

"Pushing? He worked at The Torch for years and then The Daily Planet for three years. I mean, sure, he was mostly basement city hall fodder and fluff pieces until the VRA, but he did great, insightful, if slightly biased work there. He loves writing as a release and a hobby. He's good at it. Those are skills, being good with words, cadence, and rhythm, being able to fit pieces together, that are also natural gifts. He's a better writer in some ways than I am or Lois. Lois is great at grabbing attention and making you see big angles. I can track a trail like no one. Clark...ironically, he was always best at human interest pieces, at the quiet introspection, and changing your perspective. I know he had a stake in it with his mom on it and his own "night job," but his VRA pieces, especially his editorial on why we need heroes he did after the repeal? It'd be wrong for him not that talent again."

"It's his choice. He may want to try something very different now."

"Well, once he liked astronomy but the supergenius stuff is gone. The farm can't replant until the spring for vegetable selling but the herd is gone and they won't go back into the expense of organic dairy farming again. Writing's soothed him for a long time. He's naturally inquisitive and astute. He figured out on his own that Conner's family history didn't match his own and very quickly at that."

"Which worries me. If this plan is to work, it depends on Clark not putting pieces together."

"He won't. It's far removed from 'my brother isn't baby pictures' to 'I'm an alien from the planet Krypton who used to fight crime.'"

"Perhaps, but he's not stupid, even if his intelligence has been dulled. He was quick to notice Conner. He can be quick on many things. I think hiding his origins and his past asThe Blur will be harder than you assume."

I frowned. Clark had already had trouble understanding his short tenure as football superstar and I hadn't had the best answer for that. I'd covered the jock beat enough for the Crows to know that just coming onto a field, being a football god, and never taking a free ride when you were still healthy was bizarre. Sighing, I forced myself to smile at J'onn.

"I'm not gonna hold him at gunpoint to go back to journalism, and I'm not going to let him figure out that he's Kryptonian, have to deal with that isolation and burden again. I...maybe if Kara were here as a full relative who understood his culture. Maybe if he had someone to let him no it wasn't all bad and she remembered his infancy, it might be different."

"Because I remember these things but am not blood."

I nodded. "But we don't have that. There'd be...he has nothing to fear from people stalking him for his powers. It's best not to weigh him down. It's too hard."

"To be different," J'onn said, eyeing me. "Chloe, how are you dealing?"

"With? I miss my best friend, sure, and the wedding was a disaster but Oliver and I have settled some things. It's awkward, but I don't think he's mad at me, more disappointed."

"I meant about your power resurfacing. I know it was hard for you before, that you'd died at Reeves Dam and that you'd been seriously hurt healing Clark."

"Dead eighteen hours," I corrected, feeling goosebumps raise on my arm.

"It was never something you were proud of or that you wanted. I know it's a terrifying gift because of the price you pay for it, unlike most of the others in the League. I don't think you can fool Martha or me on this. We know you'll put on a brave front just like Clark does even now and pretend you are fine, that you'll be in denial. It's unwise to do this."

I sighed and clinked my nails against the ceramic of my mug. My meteor infection was nothing but a pain. I'd save Lois and Clark with it, sure, but it was scary. One time I could heal someone and stay dead, which, now, I didn't want to do, was not in that place I was summer two years ago. Besides, thoughts plagued me about my ability affecting me as my mother had. Perhaps irrational because my DNA alterations and the levels of Kryptonite in my heart had never changed, might have leeched my sanity either way, but the thought of losing control of my faculties, the way I had with Brainiac? That was my greatest fear and having an active power just seemed more likely to make me catatonic forever like my mom.

There was no hug good enough from Martha or platitude from J'onn that would fix that.

"I'll be fine. I just wish that my ability had fixed Clark, healed his memory, but that doesn't seem to have been the case."

"Don't bury yourself in work and Clark and ignore your feelings. I've tried to get you to open up more, ever since we met Carter Hall and his team. I just...you matter very much to us, not just as an asset but a dear friend, and none of us should suffer in silence. We're all mostly different there, and we all have our bad moments."

I smiled tightly at him. "J'onn, I'll be fine."

"And your cousin? Will you tell her? Do you need to explain to her about your powers?"

"No. I never want Lois, the General and Lucy, and, especially daddy to know."

"Your cousin loves you and your uncle has changed his opinion on the VRA and heroes. He'd be probably proud you helped Clark when he was The Blur and that you fight now as best you can."

"Or they'll think I'm a freakshow. J'onn, I'm good. Clark's priority number one-both finding a way to stop Granny from converting him to a prophet and helping him adjust."

"Alright, I'll not press, but I'm not...people assume because I'm psychic that I read things I shouldn't. I don't, but you and Clark are not as good as being stoic as you assume. I can see your fear on your face even now. I'm here, Chloe, as is the team, alright?"

I laughed a little. "Maybe I can talk to Bart some time. He does cheer a girl up with the best Mexican food around."

"As long as it's one of us," he replied, squeezing her hand. "Now, have a real bit of food, something with more substance with coffee, and I'll take you to the Metropolis to get Lois."

"Yes dad," I muttered but did smile genuinely when he beamed at me. J'onn had lost his family in a plague; he'd mentioned it once to me. I wondered if he found caring for the League, especially for me and Clark, like having a semblance of it back. I wondered, also, for all his insistence he wasn't going to try being paternal with the Kent boys, he didn't still consider them a bit of family.

That did make a girl feel better, to have the Manhunter on her side.

I called Lois from outside the Watchtower doors and waited patiently for her to answer. After walking in on her and Zatanna before, I wanted to give her a bit of respect and privacy. I assumed she'd be more circumspect because she was pretty embarrassed from last time. Still, until she signed her lease on her new apartment, Chloe wanted to give her cousin a heads up.

"Lois?" I asked, when someone sighed on the other line.

"Cuz, it's my late day. I don't have to be at the DP until 1 to do some late night stuff too, beauty of Perry loving my editorial on the mayor's embezzling scandal."

I sighed. Lois had the top floor, an office, and Perry loving her. It hurt when I was going back to fifth floor minutia still, but I'd work up, do it for a non-corrupt paper and work on monitoring Lex's return to LuthorCorp. I didn't think he'd avoid abusing meteor mutants for long. Being too curious for his damn good, bending the rules was too ingrained in his nature, even Conner had a schemer edge to him and pushed boundaries and I knew Tess had as well.

Some things were too Luthorian to avoid getting.

"I know," I said. "But we have to talk about Clark."

I waited patiently, glad J'onn had zipped off already. Awkward was a new staple of my life but I didn't have to spread it around. Lois opened the door immediately. "What about Clark?"

"Did Z not tell you?"

"No...I...what happened. I was kind of floored when you round out on Oliver two days ago. Did you and Clark hook up?" Lois was stiff talking about it, but wasn't snippy.

I think she acccepted she'd made her choices. Maybe she was happy with Z or trying something new. Z had a feeling of loss and isolation because of her father's death, and, to be blunt, she was powerful and could give Lois a mission back. It might work for them. Hell, Z did know how to have fun as Lois did. They might just be able to relax more with each other.

I hoped that.

After all this mess of the Clark/Lois/Chloe/Oliver quadrangle, at least one of us should be happy.

And, to be honest, after getting to the altar and bolting, I respected Lois more. She made a hard decision based on understanding she just wasn't ready and didn't care about Clark the right way. She did it with discretion and honesty, and had offered to support him and show him kindness, albeit a bit late, when she'd realized he'd lost more than his powers. It wasn't perfect, but to understand it was better to be honest than prolong pain, to take that step, that was brave and ultimately kindest and I wish I'd done things more delicately with Ollie, really I did.

"I don't know how she didn't tell you. I...the things people leave to me. Lois, Clark's been hurt."

"Fuck! I knew it. I...maybe I was smothering or whatever, but I wish I'd explained it better. Clark is mortal and under trained, and I knew he'd get hurt. I...how bad?"

I touched her shoulder and sighed. "Granny touched him. She came to Watchtower when I came here the night of my not-wedding."

Despite herself, Lois had some snark left. "We have a lot of those in this family."

I nodded, sighing. "Granny came to hurt me," I hedged, not explaining she wanted me to replace Tess's slated roll as head Fury. "She was half way to taking my memories when Clark dove and took the hit. Everyone else showed up after, but he...it's just like in high school. He doesn't even remember a thing about Martha."

Lois brought a hand to her mouth and stumbled a little. "I...Smallville and I had a rough ending, and I wish I'd had more time to brace him for stuff with Z, but I don't want him hurt. It really scared me about him trying to copy Ollie and Bruce's lead. I mean, even Ollie's been injured his fair share. I just...what do you and Martha need? How can I help."

Overwhelmed, I hugged my cousin. I'd missed her abroad and, even back, I'd missed our closeness. It was my fault for feeling so bereft with her closeness to the man I loved. Still, she'd helped me so well in the virtual world, helped me complete my mission. We'd worked well to get Clark back on track with the videos from Metropolitans. We still made a good team when we tried, and, to be fair, the day of her wedding, most of me had shoved my fifteen year old self aside and just wanted her and Clark to be happy if that was their destiny. I...they were family, however Clark and I re-learned to deal with each other.

"I'm not sure really. I...you were so close and that's not a weird jealousy thing, just fact. I know we've struck out with even his mom or pictures of Jonathan Kent, but maybe? It's such a long shot." Although his re-enactment in the loft did make me wonder if something was brewing under the surface of his mind. "But," I added, "it might help. However, I did have something else in mind."

"Like?"

"Do you have your portfolio in Watchtower? You guys did a lot of VRA pieces together. I think...he loves writing."

Lois blushed. "The sci-fi too, yeah."

"Exactly and The Ledger could give a shit about Lex Luthor and his blacklisting. I think he might want to go back if he chooses a career over. I want him to read what he was. I have a few pieces from The Torch that I can download for him, his series on Belle Reeve corruption after Alicia Baker's death. I just think that, even if he can't remember, it'll give him a sense of who he was."

"Did you tell him?"

"Huh?"

"I...about the Kryptonian stuff, that he'd been The Blur ."

"We all discussed it. Had a debate. Martha and J'onn were against it and so was Conner, but I was the swing vote."

"And?"

"What did you think I did?"

"You said no because I would have," Lois admitted. "He's lost his powers in this fight, and, yeah, a lot of people he loves and relationships, which really...I wasn't ready to get married. I just kept thinking about everything with dad being gone all the time and I just...I love my dad and I know mom and dad loved each other, but I dunno if I'm even marriage material. I think I just need a lot of time to work everything out."

I nodded. "Yeah, I feel that way deep down about it. With mom and my dad, I get she was sick, but if I hadn't had that, um, stroke with Jimmy and been already married with no memories to Ollie...I'm just twenty-four."

"Twenty-five in a month," Lois chirped.

"See ancient soon," I winked. "But swinging single. I wish our family didn't suck at happy endings."

Lois shrugged. "Maybe not the endings we thought. I...I get it's new but Z is different. She has her own baggage-who doesn't-but she's fun. She heroes too but doesn't carry such a burden, so much heaviness like Ollie and Clark do. I, maybe I wasn't meant to support something that intense. I want to be there for people, to be a hero too, but to watch them get hurt and in pain like Clark...I couldn't."

I nodded. "Yeah, we should hold off weddings for a long time."

"Agreed, living in sin has perks," she said, laughing even if it was subdued. "Alright, let me get my stuff. I...you know that Clark...I don't want him to hurt. I just hate we can't catch a break."

"Risk of our job."

She nodded, "But the world needs all of you in the League, like it needed Clark." She frowned. "Is it wrong I'm glad this happened in a way. I didn't want him in the fight mortal. I know that's underestimating him, but people get shot or break bones or have close calls. I pulled Zod's blade out of him-"

"You won't do it again," I said. "Believe me, I know the feeling, more than ever since this happened with him trying to save me."

"Trying?"

"Granny won't stop. She wants to make him suffer. Killing me or Martha or both would do that," I fibbed. I just couldn't let her know; it was too embarrassing. She knew tons of people with powers; that wasn't it. I just wanted to still be just Chloe with my family because it was the only place I could be. "But she wants to recruit him."

"Like Godfrey?"

"Exactly. I...she has a lot of power, she might be able to get his back. Hell, it might have been a back up in her mind for Darkseid, a bribe to get him to come to them after the apocalypse or if things went south like they did."

Lois balled her hands at her side. "If I have to get every nuke daddy has, she won't have him. I...he's still family, after everything we shared and all the Kents did for me. No one messes with that."

I grinned. "Yeah, that's the Lois I know."

"And love."

"Def."

Clark was sitting in the kitchen, eating a modest sized lunch of a bologna sandwich and chips. That was weird too. His metabolism had been so fast that he'd wolfed down food for superspeeding before. Then he'd been in such intense training with Bruce and Diana that he'd carbo-loaded to get through the day. Now he was normal, wasn't doing much, so he was just average on so many things. Lois arched an eyebrow at it, probably having a similar realization. She'd split half the grocery bills with him after all.

"Hey, Chloe," he said amiably enough. "Mom and Conner went to Fordman's. I didn't have as much casual stuff as I'd have liked here. I guess reporters where a lot of suits!"

Lois nodded. "Definitely a dress code."

He frowned at her. "You're Lois...I, uh, saw your picture with me at homecoming. You looked nice and the crown was not so stupid on you as it was on me."

I sighed. It was inevitable he liked her, just as Conner did with all his miscalculated heat vision.

"I thought it was kind of cool," she said. "I got to do that Princess Di wave and there were balloons; that was cool."

He nodded and forced a laugh but turned his attention to me, smiling more broadly. "So how was your night? I'm sure mom would have given you the couch you know?"

"Well it is kind of crammed. Conner's room was an office and he just as a twin," I added, blushing. He was doing that adoration thing, but I didn't believe it meant anything.

Never really had before except under stress or when his life collapsed. I...I know I was giving him time but it was hard even leaving Ollie, with all our history. We were gonna try slow and now the Clark I knew wasn't even there.

"Well, still offer stands, can't have you burn through a credit card."

"Chivalry is never dead," Lois snarked. "I see that Kansas is just ingrained."

"Maybe. I still say I don't feel like an Opey type."

"Metropolis grows on you," I conceded, pulling out the print out of his Alicia piece. (I felt bad for not explaining to him about his relationship to her but then part of that was their bond over having abilities. It wouldn't work.) "We brought you your articles. I have one from the Torch and Lois brought all your VRA pieces."

My cousin nodded and pulled out a binder, full of at least twenty different pieces, some co-authored with him and some just on his own. . "Yeah, it can be a look at the journalistic eye of Clark Kent."

He nodded and started reading the DP stuff first, a lot about Oliver's issues, as well as about Slade's pressure. "Interesting. Give me some time to look them over. I...so weird. I have this concept of the vigilantes, I do, and I knew Mr. Queen is famous for being the Green Arrow. I don't remember covering it much or all the VRA details."

"Well, lightning strikes are funny that way," I lied.

He nodded and walked to the couch, already sitting down to be devoted in his reading. Lois looked at me. "Lightning?" she hissed.

"Seemed as good an excuse as any," I hissed back. Still, the thing that really confused me was how insidious Granny's infection had been, she'd taken an awful lot related to us and the League and I wondered if The Blur eradication, even Clark Kent, journalist's, perspective on it had been all part of her play to get him to switch sides.

Didn't matter. If we had to freaking nuke as Lois offered, she wouldn't have him.

I'd not allow it.


	34. Chapter 34

I woke up to the smell of pancakes.

It made my mouth water and I was quickly learning that my mom was a good cook. It made me smile a bit, just that she obviously was busy as a senator-still cool I was related to one-and now with me injured but she was taking time out to make something that smelled amazing. I guess maybe it was a little antiquated of me but the idea of mom being a little Betty Crocker and a lot driven businesswoman, well, made me proud of her. Besides, it was one of those peripheral facts in my head, vague but there if I tried enough: mom had helped with the VRA take down. I think that said a lot about her hope for heroes and belief in the good guys.

Sitting up, I was dismayed to find Conner sitting at my desk, reading over my journal. "Excuse me?"

I was suddenly very glad my observations about me and things not adding up was hidden. I'd also need to get a journal that locked at least, something curious younger brothers couldn't get into.

Conner gulped. "Oh crap, I was supposed to be in and out in a flash!"

"Excuse me again?"

"I...I can explain."

"You're a nosy jerk?" I huffed, getting up and taking my journal from him, noting he had a pretty intense grip for such a little guy.

"I'm sorry, it was shitty."

"I'll say. I might not have much going on up here right now, but it helps me getting my feelings out. I don't have much left but to just recap the day and get my thoughts down, try and keep everyone separated."

Conner blushed and looked at his lap. "I know. I didn't mean-"

"To get caught," I finished sitting back on my bed and setting the notebook beside me.

"No...a little...maybe? I was being a douche."

"Yup," I sighed. "I think I get it, besides you being a bit of a snoop. You all are really worried about me. I get you might be the most. I mean, it's probably hard seeing me sick cause I'm supposed to be the older, in-charge one."

"Still, it was definitely douchey. I still, well, thought I could be smooth."

"Sitting at my desk all concentrating on stuff," I sighed and raked a hand through my bangs. I was also the kind of guy who apparently needed a lot of haircuts.

"Well I did get a bit distracted," he confessed. "Your story, it's really good. It must be twenty handwritten pages. I just, wow, that's a lot to do. You must have been up all night!"

I blushed and shifted where I sat. "Well four a.m. I had slept a lot after the accident and I got into this groove. I dunno; it's like it was all just there in my head, waiting to come out. I wrote before didn't I? I mean, not just journalism."

Conner nodded. "You didn't tell people a lot about it. Chloe knew and then Lois found some of your stuff in a drawer and it was sort of out there. You have a way with words either way. I just didn't think you'd, uh, go back to it."

"It sucked didn't it? I mean it's pretty ridiculous right? A guy with superpowers in a cape, not that we don't have that, but it's probably too derivative and he probably has way too many. I haven't figured out a leveler yet, like an Achilles heel so he can literally do anything he wants. I don't know if it even makes sense having him be all out there as a cop and basically using the police band on his off time to get his intel. I, well, it's super rough. I mean the main bad guy is just sort of in my head barely. I think mad scientist? But maybe that's stupid too."

Conner was a bit stuff when he answered. "So that all...all that Superman stuff was just sitting there?"

"I guess? I mean, like I said, I pretty much ripped off the Manhunter or Wonder Woman but made them a white man. I mean, mostly. I don't even have a good origin story."

"So radioactive spider bite or gamma radiation."

I laughed, aware a bit of comics and some movies. "Yeah, not so much. No like random animal powers. Can't end up with him being part badger or something."

"All fear the might honey badger," he quipped. "Still, it's pretty just, I don't think it's so bad. It's not exactly like either Manhunter or Wonder Woman. It's different and you can't have every idea in twenty pages. It's just interesting."

"Yeah, I'm probably a hack."

Conner shook his head. "Nah, maybe not ready for prime time, but you have something here. I...you sure it was just like sitting there?"

I nodded. "Some of the big things, even if I'm not really sure how he got his abilities yet. The police thing I think still works, he has to get his info somehow. I debated with paramedic but he has such a sense of justice, it makes more sense. The powers, even the more random ones like the laser eyes and the freeze breath, seemed like a given. I...well," I blushed a little. "I haven't gotten there yet, but I know every great hero needs a love interest. I mean even Greek myths and stuff have the hero fighting for someone."

Conner nodded but said nothing, letting me continue.

"I just see this woman and she's a detective, like a P.I. type, always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong but for a good reason, taking on the little guys' cases, trying to get to the bottom of everything, the stuff other people either can't solve or ignore. I, uh, was thinking of calling her Anne and that she'd be a blonde."

My brother was still stilted and I didn't get why he seemed so invested. Like I'd said, it was derivative at best and devoid of anything interesting and self-indulgent at worst, but it had calmed my mind, given me a world I could control when my real one was confusing and oblique.

"See sucks, right?" I asked.

"No, you like blondes huh?" he replied, smirking.

"Well, I like Chloe," I admitted. "I dunno, I guess in my head she might look a little like her."

"A little?"

"Not exactly! I just...yeah, blondes are pretty, ones with green eyes and broad smiles are pretty damn amazing."

Now my brother was smiling genuinely. "I feel the same way, well, I like some blue eyes on my Cassie, but you get the idea."

"Oh the girl I set you up with but I can't remember," I said. "Well I guess that last part is implied."

"You might not get it back, I get that, but don't feel embarrassed. I...you're still my brother, you know?"

"Maybe, feel bad I don't remember one damn day of it."

He nodded and patted my knee a bit. "I am sorry I read your stuff, but I really thought it was good. I...there's parts of it that make a lot of sense. Who knows, maybe one day you'll be like a Stan Lee or something."

"Or laughed at," I said honestly. "Still, uh, don't tell mom or Chloe. It's like super rough and I know it'd be stupid and they wouldn't get it yet. Ooh, but I did think of something for his uniform," I said, flipping through to the back inside cover of the notebook, where I'd sketched his emblem, which, yeah, still a bit of a Blur rip off but I really liked the idea. Holding it up, I frowned when Conner gaped. "Damn, it is too copycat, right?"

"I...uh...maybe, Clark. I just...yeah," Conner said. "So the Blur thing?"

"I liked it but I dunno, thought this symbol with the figure eight was more interesting. It was just there like the Superman name and all his powers, like having a blonde investigator at his side helping expose the truth. I dunno, it just made sense."

"Yeah, I'll say. Definitely though, I won't tell mom and Chloe. I don't want you to feel embarrassed even if it has potential. I...can I help?"

"Can you draw?"

"Actually, I can sketch a little. I'm not awesome, but I have some skill. We could split the difference if you don't mind it being black and white. I'm very curious to see what you come up with."

"Cool, but if you laugh at me, I'll never talk about it again, hide it like so deep undercover, no one will find it."

Conner shook reached out and shook my hand. "Deal, man, and I'd never laugh at it, believe me."

"Okay, cool."

"However, you writing your magnum opus aside, you know we have a mission right?"

"To get me back in the swing of things?"

"Sure, we'll get jobs and trying to jog your memory and get you back on your feet together, but something really important!"

"Uh-huh," I drawled. "What would that be?"

"Getting you together with Chloe. I've been on you for a long time for that and now? Let me take the driver's seat. I'm smooth, man."

"You're seventeen."

"Trust me, Clark. I have more game than you ever did."

Chloe had come over with Lois who, yeah, still had that statuesque thing going on in real life. I think I could get why I thought she was pretty and she seemed nice enough helping me with the clippings. Still, it was a bit weird. I was learning to trust my gut more. With mom, I felt a lot of tenderness and Conner more like I should be taking care of him and not this weird flip. Chloe made me feel safe. Lois, even if she hadn't done one thing but hang out in the kitchen with Chloe and give me my portfolio, I just felt like just the tiniest hint of annoyance.

Did that even make sense?

How did you get engaged to someone who somehow made me feel a little on edge.

Still, she did remind me of Chloe and her writing was solid, if a little in your face. I could see her being someone I might like, especially if the tiny blonde had been taken by Mr. Queen. I just...it was so odd what my instincts told me and they really were all I had left, those vague impressions of whom to trust, and, more oddly, this story of Superman that really wouldn't leave me alone, something I longed to write more of and talk to about with Conner.

I just, maybe I knew more than I realized underneath.

I hoped I did.

The piece from The Torch made me sad. I don't know if I believed in teleporters but, then again, superheroes were real and not just well-trained humans like Mr. Queen or The Batman. I guess teleporting wasn't as far a stretch as superstrength and flight. The strength of the piece was not even in the documentation on the hospital, but more about the feeling underneath, the ability to elicit sympathy for people committed to a place that abusive. It made me take a few deep breaths and collect myself after.

Maybe at least as a reporter I wasn't a hack.

The VRA articles were a little different. I could see a clear bias in them and I don't know if that made me comfortable or not. Reporters were supposed to relate the facts, not editorialize on them. You could tell from the tone how passionate I was that the superheroes not be persecuted. I agreed on the sentiments, I just didn't agree on the style. I wanted to be more even tempered, more neutral. I didn't think a good editor would have let me sneak this through and wondered if Chloe was right about Luthor owned papers having a bit of spin to them.

As I looked through the pages, some clipping, some whole sections-Lois had a haphazard way of saving things-I found someone at the paper who seemed to have a voice opposite of mine, a woman named Cat Grant. She was as vehement against the "vigilantes" as Lois and I were for them. Maybe in that way we balanced each other out. Still, a few of her articles about terrorist activities like the Green Arrow robbing from the rich his first time in Metropolis, mysterious oil rig destruction, and, well, the Blur's more questionable activities made me frown.

In fact, Cat had a whole editorial this last November titled "Why the World Doesn't Need The Blur ." I felt bad for the guy, considering he seemed to work as hard as The Batman or Mr. Queen to help people. Still, the points she made about him scorching his sign all over property and causing costly damage and, scarily, a investigation into a fire in two towers, which had images that reminded me very much of other tragic terrorist acts, that made me think.

I wondered if the Blur had been as good as guy as some people thought.

I was deep in thought, frowning and sighing, when Chloe and Lois stepped into the room.

"Clark?" Lois asked, sitting in the old rocker, while Chloe sat at the other end of the sofa. "Are you okay. I know we didn't expect you to remember your pieces. It's okay if you don't. Hell, it's okay if you think they're boring and don't have an interest in reporting anymore."

I blinked. "No, actually, I think I had some talent, honestly, and I think I like writing. I've been, well, journaling to get my thoughts down. No, being a reporter sounds more interesting to me than taking up organic farming again."

"Cool," Chloe said neutrally. "That's always an option. I know people at The Ledger and you could interview tomorrow."

"I would enjoy that," I said. "Not sure if I'd make the cut, but I'd like to be at least out there doing something . No offense but being here all the time, makes this worse. If I had a rhythm it might be better."

"We can try," Lois offered.

"I just...does this sound wrong? I don't remember all the VRA stuff. I know it got kind of ugly and I know mom did stuff to stop it and that it involved Mr. Queen. I didn't know nearly as much until I read my pieces. Well, and Ms. Grant's."

"Cat had a raging hard-on against heroes," Lois said bitterly.

"No doubt, I can see the bias, but is it true about the Blur?"

"Is what true?" Chloe said and the cousins exchanged a look I couldn't quite place.

"That he burned down two buildings and did a lot of damage scorching the city. I think the world needs heroes, believe me I do, and I think anything gestapo is still wrong. Still, I think the sentiment isn't awful in the VRA idea. Execution? Does suck, but someone needs to say sometimes 'No this isn't okay. Someone needs to watch the heroes and make sure they stay straight and narrow.' I, if what Ms. Grant wrote about is accurate, I get that. It's sometimes right to go 'no this isn't good.' Isn't that what being a reporter is? Like a watchdog?"

Chloe sighed. "Clark, sometimes people, even heroes, make mistakes. He got better. I just...it is good to think about being a reporter like a truth teller, but just remember the Blur wasn't bad."

"Maybe, but he just disappeared and then Wonder Woman...if she hadn't come along that weird asteroid thing would have hit Earth."

"Yes, but you can't always judge someone by their mistakes," Lois pointed out. "You have to look at how many times they try again and the Blur was good at always coming back."

"But it's September right? He's been gone over four months. You think he just quit?"

Lois sighed and then stood up, and I noticed she was crying. I could tell from some of her pieces I'd also perused that she'd had a crush on the Blur. It was that obvious. I guess she missed him.

"Sometimes, people can't stay forever, Clark," she said, walking out of the room and then to the porch.

I sighed and looked at Chloe who was also barely maintaining her calm facade. "She loved him too, didn't she?"

"I think a lot of hero adoration," Chloe said, frowning. "I just...he meant a lot to many people. I think he was a role model for a lot of the heroes who came out after. He wasn't a bad guy."

"But someone has to keep people honest, accountable. It might just be at The Ledger , Chlo, but I think I can be that guy."

She offered me a smile, the kind that wasn't genuine, that didn't reach her eyes. "I think that's noble, Clark. I really do."

The next day moved, well, in a blur. The Ledger was small. It's offices only on one floor on main street, and I got the feeling I'd be covering the price of feed hikes or of local town hall meetings, maybe PTA bake sales. It wasn't going to be hard hitting but, you know, every town has its secrets and every place has a history. Hell, one of LuthorCorp's oldest plants and research facilities was here. If I wanted to find a story, something relevant about Lowell County, I thought I could find it.

I just had to keep my ears to the ground and my eyes wide open.

Conner was enrolled in Smallville High too. By the final week of September, we had a pattern on our little farm, even if mom had to go back to D.C. and visit Friday through Sunday nights (which helped anyway because she had a lot of constituents to meet with and talk to as she geared up for 2012). He went to school and I to The Ledger. I was usually done by five and he was back from classes by then and usually done his work. We'd make dinner and, oddly, I found I was a good cook, had a knack for eyeballing things.

Sometimes, at night, we worked on my Superman story. It wasn't getting too far, as I had no idea where he got his powers yet or how not to make him boringly perfect. I still wasn't happy with mad scientist as his nemesis either. It felt too 1950s. I wondered if, considering how badly Wall Street had crashed people lately, if the real thing to be afraid of out there were businessmen. People with lawyers and power and the ability to get away with anything.

That might be better.

Like I said, it was still coming along.

The first of October, I was turning in an article on SPCA reforms in the county when my editor, Mrs. O'Connor asked me an odd question.

"Kent, you worked at the school paper for Smallville High, right?"

"Four years, sure. I, uh, don't remember doing it cause of the accident but, well, I can still right okay I think."

"More than okay," she admitted. "Most days."

"Thanks," I said politely. "So what do you need?"

"Have you ever thought about mentoring? Frankly, it's been something I've wanted-a Ledger/Torch partnership. I want to give back and encourage our own young writers to think about here too, that small town papers build a community. You're my youngest staffer and closest to the kids' ages. Hell, your brother just started there. Do you think you'd like to do that? Mentor a bit? Maybe be there after school twice a week. Obviously you won't get paid those four hours total, it'll be charitable, but I think we can really build our own reporting community right here in town."

I grinned. "Frustrated you lost Lois Lane, me, and others to the DP?"

"Definitely, Kent. What do you say? The Torch is online of course. You can peruse it and see what you think. These kids? They're really interesting. It's not like any school paper you've ever seen."

"Isn't a lunch menu a lunch menu, chief?"

"Not this time. Trust me, I think this might be more interesting than even you think."

Intrigued, I took the website down from her and shrugged. Maybe it was a little much and I'd have to make sure Conner didn't mind me being on campus (even if he actually was more into debate team stuff and model U.N.). Still, if I liked The Torch now and he said yes, it'd be nice.

Make me feel useful again.

I liked that.

Of course, the kids would have to impress me first.


	35. Chapter 35

I moved to Granville very quickly. I would have moved back to the Talon but, of course, that was being reconstructed. I could have stayed on the farm as well in the actual Smallville town limits, but that was awkward. It was a small house and still only had Martha and Clark's rooms, and, even though Martha was in D.C. on the weekdays, Conner was taking her room and Clark his own. I wasn't really in to getting blankets and sleeping on the sofa downstairs or sharing one bathroom. I don't mean I'd not be inconvenienced for Clark. I'd climb Mt. Everest for him, I swear it, but I didn't think it was appropriate. Two weeks ago, before Granny took his memories, I was part of the family.

Now Clark was getting even footing and I didn't want to confuse him. He was vulnerable and not sure what he wanted, going on instinct and confusion. Having me there, with how much he seemed to like me, it would confuse feelings.

I didn't want to do that to him.

Moving wasn't hard. I didn't have many possessions because of my time in hiding for one thing. For another, Oliver was kind enough to send my things to me in record time. He had the resources for them by courier. I took money I'd squirreled away from working at Watchtower to buy the basics, but it was overall an austere apartment. Between going to the farm nightly to have dinner with the boys (Clark was still an excellent cook) and my long commute back and forth to The Metropolis Journal . Also, I'd helped Lois move into a nice loft downtown (she made more than I), a place I was certain Z would be visiting often.

Hell, it was a place I visited last weekend when I was unpacking boxes until midnight on Saturday. I felt okay not visiting the farm at least one day. Again, I wanted never to overwhelm my friend, and, that was a time for Clark to bond with Martha.

Like I said one or two of us at a time.

It was Saturday again, my day for Cousin Time. I needed that honestly. I needed to feel like I always had before weddings-that-weren't and job losses, before some of my own jealousies that did help separate us. I needed to feel connections with Oliver and I not talking and Clark not really here, with my meteor power back and making me feel like a freak all over.

I didn't want to heal and die now; I was past that point and not depressed. I didn't want to heal and take on that pain. Be different, no longer "just Chloe" with my family.

One day, I'd have to tell Lois because she knew everyone with abilities and probably liked and respected them more for it. It's just, with her, now more relaxed and now patched up, we could be who we were a bit, still be even those little girls with hopes and dreams whispered in the night at sleep overs. I liked that.

Although I didn't like apartments in chaos and unwrapping bubble wrap at all. Still, she'd helped me move before, and that's what cousins were for, being Tom Sawyered a bit. Besides, it was normal and mundane, something outside of heroes and Granny's relentless pursuit of us.

"So," I said, undoing her favorite decoration, Blue the bird. I wished sometimes I had something like that from my mom. I'd gotten the bracelet back from her but it was tainted with bad memories, of Lex and labs, of being controlled even if mom hadn't meant it. Exactly.

"So what?" Lois said, resorting her kitchen, skillet in hand.

"Well, we can do that girl chat thing. I felt we haven't done that. I mean, I even did that with Tess, trying to plan the debauchery of your bachelorette party, which, compared to spiked champagne wouldn't have been nearly as wild. I admit that."

Lois laughed. "It was something else. I don't recommend waking up on train tracks or with random boots on your feet."

"God or dressed like Madonna. I don't know what was with that or Ollie mint green tuxedo. It is sort of funny we have proof that he can be less than coiffed."

Lois frowned. "How are you about that?"

"It's hard," I admitted. "I'd never wanted to hurt him. I just-"

"Had to be honest before the hurt got worse, before it became a huge mess. I do get that."

"Yeah but I hurt him so much. He sent a note with my stuff. I think he had his secretary write it cause the calligraphy was beautiful but the sentiments were his. It was really nice, saying he'd be there if I needed to talk about things. He wants us to one day at least be friends because of what we do. Can't have Watchtower and Green Arrow mad. It hurts the team and he's right. But right now, space is what we both need, especially him. Still, nice change of pace from nasty Facebook mentions."

"Henry Olsen, sometimes a massive tool," Lois concluded.

"Yeah, I have a habit of rushing to the altar when I needed to think things through more. Annulled once and not quite-legal-Vegas wedding and I'm about to turn twenty-five. Sort of embarrassing."

Lois shrugged. "People don't know your story. It's only embarrassing if you let it be. I mean, you had your reasons and sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. I've had my share of things, even before Clark, I thought were it like Ollie and Grant. It does happen."

"And Zatanna," I said, grinning a bit. "You two looked, well, pretty intense."

"It's new. She's fun and likes to have fun, you know? I'm not full League or anything but the people I love are. With that kind of fear and pressure, it's nice to have someone who can relax a bit. She just makes me feel pretty alive so far. I'm not gonna say wedding bells but it's nice right now."

"Even if you fight like crazy?"

"The great ones always start out that way," Lois replied, shrugging and putting away some glasses on shelves I'd never reach.

"Nah, that's the Lois style-butt heads and then let 'em know you're interested. You would have been a pigtail pulled if you'd been a boy."

"Maybe, but a nice punch to the shoulder or some snark can be an 'I love you.'"

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I think we were more distant when you were dating Clark, and that was a lot me."

"Well, it was sort of weird we kind of swapped. I was a little sad that you had Ollie, and I can't explain that. But I was happy you seemed happy. I want that for you, cuz."

"And then I hope you and Z have a good relationship. Just...after so much death and pain and fear this year, you deserve something. I know you and Carter Hall sort of had a bond; he was so paternal with Clark and I think that rubbed off and on being Yoda-y with you."

"Maybe," Lois admitted. "It's overwhelming when someone dies for you. I want to be the best I can after that."

"I've been following your Intergang series and it's good. Seems worthwhile and something he'd have liked."

"More than one way to fight 'the man,'" she joked. "You did good work at The Register . I liked your weekly column too."

"Thanks, but The Journal is gonna be harder to work my way up at. Metropolis is a bigger city with more people aiming to get to the Planet. I'll still write the best damn rec center opening in the city."

"That's the spirit. I...you being on the run was really important though. Without Bruce and Diana, we'd have been screwed."

"And I built up Watchtower, I get that, even if it's on hiatus a bit to move to the satellite with mainly Victor working out of the Star City branch, but it wasn't me. I like writing, adore it. I want to be that watchdog."

"Like Clark?"

"We're all journalists," I admitted, placing Blue delicately on her kitchen window sill. "I wish he'd recognized you."

"We can be friends like you and Ollie but I've moved on and, not gonna lie, cuz, I see how he's looking at you. There might be a shot with you and the newer, actually less high strung version."

"Clark was never spazzy but he was always high maintenance, like Atlas, whole weight of the world thing. I think he's happier this way, catch up and frustrations aside. He gave ten years to this, died multiple times, lost his dad. He's given more than any of us."

"It's what I thought when he lost his powers. I've seen Ollie pretty hurt, even if some of it was that stupid fight ring. I didn't want Clark...Granny needs her ass seriously kicked."

"Agreed, and we will stop her, no matter what."

Lois shivered a little. "The last thing I want is Clark having to take De Saad or Godfrey's place. He's better than that."

"He's the best of us," I said, glancing at Blue, wishing my aunt's blessing had protected us.

Monday evening, I came home to find Conner in my apartment. Shaking my head, I cursed. "Who's watching him?"

"I can hear," he replied. "And also Bart's in town."

"Good, but I just...even when you're at Smallville High and he's at The Ledger , I worry."

"Considering the last five month, he's had, I do get that," he replied. "Chloe, we need to talk."

"What happened?"

"Nothing wrong, exactly, but his editor offered him something."

"What?"

"She wants him to mentor at The Torch . It's this outreach thing they're starting and he worked there even if he doesn't remember it and he's the youngest staff member, more in touch with teens she figures."

"Fuck, Zoe and Clayton know everything and they're as nosy as I was. They'll blab to him about him having been the Blur in no time."

"Well, he asked me about if I wanted him too, if it might embarrass me or cramp my style. If I don't want my brother to come in twice a week, he said he'd get that and say no."

"Then say you're embarrassed."

Conner sighed. "I think this could be good for him, frankly. He could get back in touch with his roots. Plus, it gives him something to do like his job, where people didn't know him from before and he can build the Clark he wants to be without a lot of pressure."

"But the Torchettes-"

"They'd do anything for their idol, Chloe. You should just talk to him about his accident and let them know that he's retired now and telling him about the Blur would be mean. Like we've all been saying, he's not forced into this fight anymore."

I sighed and thought of the vision I'd seen with the Fate helmet. He was supposed to be so much more, but now at least we could keep him safe and happy, keep him away from the knowledge he could never be the world's hero. I knew the loss of his ability had eaten through him, that frustration he was destined to be so much more and couldn't be.

Best to let him have this path, a simple and happy life.

"If it works, sure, Conner, but you don't know Zoe and Clayton like I do."

"Then I can monitor them. I have debate team and U.N. sure, but I'm building a good resume for Met U. I can do the cartoon beat at The Torch , uh, make sure the Torchettes don't blab."

I frowned. Conner hadn't exactly been signed up on the never tell Clark plan .

"I don't know."

"Chloe, please. He wants this, I can tell. He was offering to let me be on my own still at school, save my 'cool points,' but he sounded like he wanted to give that up as much as he wanted a root canal."

"I-"

"You want him to be happy. If this make him happy, isn't it good?"

"Fine, but I've got to talk to Zoe and Clayton first."

He blurred over to me and shook my hand, smiling broadly and it was Clark's smile. That hurt. "Deal, Chloe, you're not gonna regret it."

"So he doesn't remember anything?" Zoe asked and her eyes were wide.

I nodded and readjusted myself in my rolling chair in The Torch office. "Yeah, the, uh, lightning did a number on him. He can't remember a thing."

I didn't want to tell them about Granny Goodness. They were sweet kids but had more guts than brains and might get ideas about trying to help Clark by tracking down Evil's right hand. Like I said, I liked them and their spirit, but we'd had too much pain and mindrapes already.

Clayton was shaking his head. "So not only did the world lose the Blur, now Clark lost everything? This sucks! Did you tell him? Help him jog his memory?"

"We're not going to, his mom and Ollie and me. It'll just hurt him since he can't be the Blur anymore. But that's not why I'm here."

"Ooh, do you need some research help?" Zoe asked, her flippy hair bob as she nodded her head. "We're great at that."

"We could look for some amnesia cures and treatments," Clayton offered.

I smiled genuinely at that. My Torchettes were sweet kids, and very smart.

"You can't do that. His doctors say it's permanent and Ollie got him the best. He's supposed to be mentoring here as part of pleasing his boss at The Ledger ."

The looked at each other and grinned, saying in unison: "Cool!"

"Exactly and he's super excited, very thrilled with the idea, but you can't tell him anything about his past. Do you understand? It'll confuse and hurt him. You don't want Clark to be upset, do you?"

"But the truth's important," Clayton said. "He should know how important he was."

"Keyword 'was.' Knowing that and being unable to help now? I know him, and it'll make him so depressed. Please, you keep my secrets and let 'Anne Hatcher' be out in the world without talking about 'Chloe Sullivan' being underground. Can you protect Clark from the Blur?"

They frowned at each other but sighed.

"Anything for you, Chloe," Zoe replied. "We'll help him. We'd love to sidekick for the Blur even if it's just in layout duty."

Clayton nodded. "Anything, exactly."

"Good," I said. "Now, how about letting a new cartoonist on staff?"


	36. Chapter 36

"So, J'onn," I started, taking the rolls he was offering me from across the table. "Did you meet mom on the Hill? Or was it a sort of The Bodyguard thing where you fell in love with her on the job?"

Mom was over this weekend, as she promised she'd be every Friday through Sunday afternoon. It was Sunday afternoon and, while Conner had begged out of dinner to spend time with his girlfriend Cassie downtown, the rest of us were enjoying homemade turkey and stuffing and mom had even made apple pie for dessert. I loved the smell of it and it really made my mouth water. I bet I'd liked pie a lot before.

But it was odd that J'onn was pausing before answering the question, casting a side long glance at my mom.

I filed that part away too, another thing that seemed a bit off to me.

Finally, my mom did answer. "We actually met through you. He was a contact for you in the Metropolis P.D., but then we got more comfortable with each other and he came out to D.C. to be part of my service detail."

I nodded. "Well, good thing I didn't have a coroner contact who was cute. Then you'd be out a head of security."

J'onn chuckled at that. "It has been a change from the force, but," he said, taking my mom's hand on the table. "I've been extremely motivated to learn and do well."

"Good, I'm glad. I think it's amazing you switched jobs just to protect my mom. I'm sure you do a fine job," I said, starting in on my stuffing. "So, here's something pretty cool. My editor wants me to be a mentor to the students on the The Torch . I mean, yeah, the whole town knows I've had an accident and don't remember a thing, but she thinks I'd be, I don't think like 'hip' is the word, but closer to their age. I think it'll be fun. I just am gonna ask Conner what he thinks tomorrow. I don't want him to be angry at me. I don't think he would mind, but sometimes an older brother can cramp your style."

Mom smiled but it didn't meet her eyes. "That sounds nice, sweetheart. I've read your work the first week and it's still very good. You're ability to write, your rhythm hasn't gone away. I'm sure you can teach them a lot about style."

"Well and I think I have a nose for investigating too. I like solving puzzles and taking notes a lot. It could be really interesting. I have to start rebuilding a life and Chloe was right, Lois too, I have do like reporting. I know that I've been covering a tax hike on feed, and that Smallville's not exactly Metropolis with corruption or eye catching news, but I don't think I suck either."

J'onn nodded. "Lex Luthor doesn't control everywhere, just Metropolis. One day you might move an hour over to Edge City, perhaps work at a larger paper there. Your options aren't all limited."

"Cool, though, I have to admit the farm is growing on me a little. I'm not into hanging in the loft because horses stink."

Mom frowned a little. "You used to before."

"I like my room though, less horse smell, more air conditioning. A loft in indian summer is scorching."

"That makes sense," J'onn replied.

I still saw my mom's face, her confusion clear on it. "Mom, I can't be everything I was before. I do like this house. It's like you or Chloe; it's not familiar but it makes me feel safe. I think the land here is really pretty. I'm just not into livestock I guess."

"That's okay, sweetie, you don't have like everything you used to."

"But I made you upset. I'd been trying not to do that," I admitted.

"And you're only two weeks out from your accident. Baby, you should just worry about processing your own feelings. I know it's hard and things will be different. You don't have to spare my feelings."

I sighed and pushed my plate away, no longer hungry. "I know but I feel like if I'm not exactly the same guy, then I'm disappointing you."

"You're not. I have to adjust my hopes, not the other way around. I'm glad the farm makes you feel safe. It's your home, been your family's home for almost a century."

"Very cool, and I do like it here. I can get why even in D.C., you kept this. I think that's a good thing."

Mom's eyes teared up and I reached across and took her other hand. "Oh see, I can't stop upsetting you today."

"No, I'm just...I'm really proud of you."

"Cause I feel safe at the farm? That's not exactly prosaic as statements go."

"Because," she added. "This is your home. The Torch was your home too. I think if your brother isn't too skittish about it that it'd be a great idea."

"Cool, so can I have pie."

J'onn broke out laughing. "Something, Clark, never change."

On Monday night, I was in my room, adding the way mom and J'onn were so weird about how they met to my list of things I didn't really understand. After that, I started in nervously on my writing. Conner had gone out, and I wanted to know what he thought desperately about my mentoring. The more I thought about it, the more excited I was to do it. Besides, I was about to introduce the concept of Superman having a weakness, something that was radioactive, sort of like Uranium but instantly acting. I'd even gone down the list of elements on the periodic table (yes, I realize even with no memory I'm a dork) and picked out a noble gas and sort of tweaked it-Argonite. I think it had a ring. I debated between that and Krypton, but the other one won out, easier to spell and all that.

Still, that was a good thing to put into place. No one could be all powerful. That was boring. I even wanted Conner back so he could sketch it for me, something green and noxious looking, definitely.

Really, except for figuring out a main nemesis, I thought my first ideas were not horrible. I had Superman of course, his love interest in Anne, and where he worked, his powers, the lot of it and now the weakness. I needed the bad guy and a good alias for Superman. Obviously no one could call him that at work!

I was detailing what Argonite would feel like for Superman, how his blood would boil, when my brother came in and sat on my bed.

I grinned. "Good, you're here. I'm making really good progress on our, uh, joint project."

Conner smiled back. "Great. My hand is itching to do more sketches. I can do one or two tonight even."

"Great, but first, I wanted to know if you were okay with me mentoring. I'd love to do it but you're new at Smallville High and you might want to be cooler than that guy whose twenty something brother hangs out there."

"Well, you're not a creeper. You have a mission there. Besides, I was thinking of joining The Torch part time as their cartoonist. It'd give me a chance to hang with you but still do my other activities."

I beamed back at him. "Thanks Conner. I'm very excited. I'm going to go over tomorrow to meet the staff. I don't have any activities planned or anything, but are you going to be the cartoonist starting tomorrow?"

"Can't come yet, got a debate team thing, but Thursday sure."

"Awesome, now," I said, turning back to my outlines. "So, what do you think about 'Argonite?'"

The Torch wasn't what I expected. The first thing I realized was that the "staff" (not counting my brother) was only two people, a girl with a flippy hair cut and wild colored clothes and a guy who liked flannel. A lot. The second thing that was dismaying was how empty the office was. Most of the computers in it-and there were only three-were from about ten years ago and covered in plastic, never used. The walls were empty and there wasn't a traditional layout board.

I was so confused.

How did they even put out a paper.

The two things they did seem to have going for them was that each had a laptop out in front of them and there was an industrial strength color printer in one corner of the room. Otherwise, I almost expected tumbleweeds to blow through the room.

"Uh, hi," I said, adjusting my glasses. "I'm Kent, Clark Kent? And I'm from the mentoring program."

The girl was bouncing in her seat. "Hi! I'm Zoe and that's Clayton. We're really excited. You worked for the Planet. That's my dream."

I shrugged. "I have to admit that I had an electrical accident a couple weeks ago. I still have some writing skills but my memories are pretty much fried. I don't remember working for the Planet, but my friend Chloe used to and my, uh, friend Lois does too. I might be able to have them come in and talk about it."

Clayton nodded. "We met Lois at homecoming."

"Right, I came to that. I saw pictures. Oh! We met before, didn't we?" I asked, blushing. "I'm so sorry I don't remember."

"Well," Zoe added. "You're not being rude. You're just not remembering. I mean if I were struck by lightning, I might not remember anything either. Don't worry about it. As long as you want to help us make The Torch even more awesome, you could be a kumquat."

"Thanks?"

Clayton rolled his eyes. "Zoe has a foot in mouth syndrome. What we mean is welcome aboard."

I nodded and then frowned. "How do you publish?"

Zoe grinned. "We're virtual. It's all done on our laptops, even the layout. We keep an up-to-date site on everything about this little hamlet. Don't you want to see it?"

I nodded. "I think I skimmed a few things from your last week's set of papers. My boss had them printed out. I just assumed you'd be more old school, with actual paper and layouts by hand."

"Well, that's the tip of the iceberg," she conceded. "If you go to the website we have a whole section on the mysteries of Smallville."

I shrugged. "Outside of LuthorCorp having really made a start here, I can't imagine there's much going on. Believe me, I want there to be. I really would love to get something juicy to chew on, but it's called Smallville for a reason. Might as well be Mayberry."

Clayton and Zoe smiled at me and she turned her laptop around so I could see it. "Welcome to the wall of weird, Clark. You'll never look at the meteor rocks from the showers the same way!"

I frowned and started skimming stories about two-headed goats, alleged thieves who could melt locks with a touch, a student from Smallville High two weeks ago who, apparently, had gone around stealing people's voices. I didn't even understand the purpose of doing that. It read like something out of a Marvel Comic or The Twilight Zone.

"This can't be real."

"We don't publish without corroboration," Clayton replied, his tone indignant. "We go with CDC or criminal reports. Even talk to admissions officials at Belle Reve."

"That hospital in town. Chloe showed me an article I'd written about it being pretty corrupt when I was in high school."

"Yup," Zoe replied. "It's gotten better, true, and we keep and eye on it in case it goes south again. You'd be surprised how many of the meteor mutants end up there."

I reread the first couple paragraphs about the lock-melters. "I...this is insane."

"Why is this more insane than The Blur or Manhunter or Wonder Woman?" Clayton asked.

"Because this is a small town in the middle of nowhere Kansas that apparently breeds legions of people with special abilities. It's pretty...how does that even happen."

"EPA sitting on its ass when the meteor rocks turned out to be dangerous as hell," Zoe added, snorting derisively. "No one ever cleaned them up because they weren't cancerous, but they still changed people. They changed so many."

I nodded and then I had the strangest feeling. Learning to follow my instincts more, I walked to the closet of the room and opened it. Nothing was there and I frowned. I'd expected a wall of clippings, just like the virtual wall but something tangible. I had the oddest flash of Chloe then, smiling broadly at the clippings she clearly had saved. "The meteor show, that's when the town went schizo."

"Clark, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied. "I just...just a flash of something."

"Really? See The Torch is good for you," Zoe replied. "This is home."

I shrugged and looked back to the wall as if it held the answers to everything. "I suppose it is." Turning away from it, I frowned at them. "So how far does the rabbit hole go?"

Zoe smirked. "We think that one of the biggest superheroes out there started in Smallville."

Clayton glared at her. "Zoe!"

"No, I'm serious," she said, glaring back. "The Blur? Totally from here. Doesn't it make sense that he got meteor powers."

I sighed. "Until about ten minutes ago I didn't know people could get meteor powers."

Zoe was about to say more when Clayton put his hand over her mouth. "Sorry, Clark, I need to drag her outside and have a powwow. We don't talk about our theory because people think it's nuts and we don't have enough proof yet. Zoe," he said, helping pull her to her feet. "Now."

I sighed as they left. Another thing to factor away. The Blur had come from Smallville or at least the resident hunters of the weird and unexplained asserted. Maybe that made sense. It'd explain where a lot of his powers had come from if the mutant thing was true. It explained why he'd been first on the scene in Metropolis, years before most other heroes.

I shrugged. The Blur wasn't really relevant. No one had seen him in four and a half months and he certainly had nothing to do with me, even if I'd gone to high school with him and never known it. Waiting for my kids to come back, I started perusing the sight in earnest, rolling my eyes at some of the more out there pieces, including an interview with a crop duster who swore he'd seen a ship land in 1989's shower.

Sure, right.

Okay, so maybe this was a little nuts, but the weird not-quite-a-memory of Chloe and her wall or maybe it was real, who could tell? The thought of a wall of my own, a visual representation of what I didn't know about myself or what didn't add up really appealed to me, a way to get down to the brainstorming process. If I couldn't remember everything, I could patch it back together. I could get on the trail and find out about things I could tell people were trying to sugar coat for me or didn't know how to say.

I wanted the full truth, damn it, and I was owed that.

I didn't have much to start yet, not much at all, just my list of facts that didn't make sense, including the new additions of how mom and J'onn met and about the Blur maybe starting in Smallville, even a note about had Chloe started the Wall of Weird tradition .

Oddly, and I'll never be able to explain this, I rewrote my list nicely and sketched out the pattern for Superman I'd come up with, maybe a bit of inspiration. Detective Calvin Ellis/Superman would figure this out if he were real. I'd been a reporter, damn it. I just needed to push a little deeper and I'd get it.

I knew I would.

It was just a matter of time.


	37. Chapter 37

I was sitting in my office (the Journal was modest enough that I could have my own private rabbit warren), working on an article about the Oktoberfest in the convention center when there was a breeze, sending my notes flying everywhere. I rolled my eyes and, for a second, wished desperately that breeze was Clark, despite all logic. Instead, it was the other (mostly) Kryptonian in this part of the time stream. "Conner! You could just come in like everyone else and knock on the door, not scatter everything all over."

He shrugged and helped pick up my notes. "Ooh, that's a good price on weinerschnitzel. I should check that out before it closes up on the fifteenth."

"It's not exactly hard hitting, but it's a step up from pigeons and parking meters. We all have to pay our dues."

"I wasn't being snotty, Chloe. I was serious. It sounds like a fun time. I'm not overly into German food but Tess liked to do that cultural thing. She took me out to different restaurants or different types of carryout. I guess so I could be up on it, you know? Luthors have eclectic tastes."

I laughed. Clark was such a meat and potatoes (and pie) guy. If Conner had a taste for pad Thai or Ethiopian, then it was definitely the "worldly" Luthor preferences kicking in. "I can't even imagine. What's your favorite?"

"Kimchi. That fermented spiced cabbage from Korea? I can run fast enough over water now to get it fresh. Amazing!"

His smile was broad and open and it hurt. It was Clark's expression, which, to be fair, was one I saw Conner's older brother wearing a lot lately. It was October the twelfth and Clark had been without his real sense of self for almost a month. I still kept expecting a major meltdown. I think the one thing really staving it off was Conner, even more than Martha or me. He was good with Clark and I think it was easier for him because it was very true they'd only "discovered" each other about eight months ago. It made it less pressured for both brothers. There wasn't twelve years of memories or twenty-two like with me and Martha.

Still, as great a, well, handler to be honest, as Conner was, Clark could only subsist on a fraction of his memories for so long before he got mad. I'd seen him in high school. His instincts were sharp, well tuned to what he liked with his memories, but it just wasn't enough.

"So, you came here to read my piece about exotic sausage and beer a day early. Why Superboy, I'm flattered."

Conner huffed and the papers on my desk threatened to fly away again. "I hate Ollie's code names. I mean, I'm my own guy here! Okay so I am kind of mini-me, but I wanted something original and I'm not gonna be a teenager forever."

I grinned. "We'll talk code name revision when you graduate college."

"Thanks, Watchtower, you're a princess among women."

I winked. "So is everything okay. It's Thursday and Clark should be more than fine hanging with the Torchettes. In fact, shouldn't you be there to be a regular Charles Schulz?"

"I took today off, begged out for Model U.N."

"Funny, my office doesn't look like Smallville High."

"Don't be such a worry wart. My ears are tuned and I think Zoe and Clayton have him occupied. They're hunting for a mutant poodle at the animal shelter on a theory the local pounds been built too close to a meteor rock depository."

"Is it going to glow green?" I deadpanned.

"Maybe? Obviously not the place for me to be hanging out."

Pursing my lips, I added. "I don't know how I feel about him chasing down Zoe and Clayton's theories."

" Your old theories and they're not wrong. I mean, eventually you notice things are a bit off in Smallville. I don't know if Clark buy two-headed goats and teleporters yet, even knowing there are people with abilities out there. But he humors them and I think it's fun."

"Still, if he starts piecing things-"

"I'm sure he's still lobotomies-R-us, Watchtower," he bit back.

"Conner, this isn't about wanting him to be wiped. It's about what's the best for him to be happy. We talked about this."

"And mom and I think it's still unfair bullshit. I know how Bruce explained it to me about League security being leaked. I get I don't have the right to fuck that up, but it's Clark , he's not going to go running to the Planet with like The Batman's alter ego."

"He might, he might not. I just, you're new to this world and to this fight. It's draining and it eats your soul alive. He's earned his retirement."

"Lies always bite people in the ass, like when Tess tried to hide I was part Lex and it sent me to Lionel. Things can't always stay buried."

"I can keep them buried."

Conner rolled his eyes as teens often did. "I hope so cause if he does figure this out, it's gonna get super ugly."

"So this was lecture day? Perfect."

"No, this was a pitch. We should do a couples thing to the Oktoberfest. I propose that Cassie and I, Zatanna and Lois, and you and Clark all hang out there. In a group it's not as much pressure, you know?"

"Conner-"

"Come on! Cassie and I won't even try and sneak a beer even if we can drink paint thinner. Well, she can, I'm not as invulnerable as I thought. Still, I'm not going to be bad at all. I'll stick to funnel cake."

"Uh-huh."

"Besides, Z's great at a festival. I bet she and Lois would have a blast there."

"Because of said beer."

"Well, yeah. I just some polka, some sauerkraut, a bit of random crap to buy at stalls? It'll be fun. We spent ninety percent of our time fighting evil. We should have a break and partay."

"With polka? Unless you're Weird Al that's not much of a 'partay.'"

"Chloe, forget that part. I'm suggesting you and Clark give a date a try. I mean it'll be something chill with the rest of us and it'll be cheesy fun at a festival. I'm not suggestion Le Petit Fleur in Metropolis in your best dress. I'm talking funnel cake and handcrafts."

"Yeah, that's what every guy wants, to look for the right handmade beaded necklace or bracelet."

"Meh, to hang out with Cassie, I'd indulge her. It's not so bad."

"Conner, Clark's sick."

"He's not retarded or a vegetable. He's not impaired in a way he can't make his own rational decisions. I spend most of his free time with him. I know that he's not so bad off. If he wants to date you, and he so does, then I think the best thing you can do is try it."

"But he never-"

"Bullshit. I get it. I think. My heat vision goes off if I see the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Just because I'm hormonal and seventeen doesn't mean Clark can't see more than just Z's boobs or Lois's, well, boobs."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm serious! He talks about you a lot. Besides, I promised to help him out. He saved my relationship with Cassie after the most embarrassing date ever. A good mini-me would give you two the massive push off a cliff that you need."

"I do not need a massive push. Clark doesn't remember it but he almost got married five months ago, I mean, Christ he had the ring on. I just stormed out of a church not four weeks ago. Don't you think it's rushed."

"And you've known each other twelve years and, like I said, he talks enough about you after you visit, before you visit, over dinner...etc. If I weren't rooting for you so hard, I'd have duct taped his mouth shut by now."

I blinked. No way. No way he was going all obsessive on little old me like he had on Lana or my cousin. "I...really?"

"Oh yeah. He keeps talking about how cute the Torchettes are and how he hopes you and him were as inseparable. I mean, literally, everything reminds him of you. He was going on the other day after Cassie left about how your hair is a nicer shade of blond, more golden. He's got it as bad as a twelve year old girl doodling hearts in a binder."

"I..."

"One date. Go to the Oktoberfest. At least you'll get free sausage out of it. Oh crap," he said, blushing and realizing that could be taken in other ways.

"I know you were literal, Superboy. Now, get back to the farm. You know someone has to watch him."

"Of course, Watchtower. Ooh, see if you can get us a discount for press coverage from The Ledger and Journal."

"Good thinking."

"Always," he said, blurring back to the farm.

"So, uh," I said. "Do you think this is a good idea? I mean, I'd really like to make this work or at least try but I don't want to rub your face in anything either, Lo."

We were having lunch at a cafe in Metropolis half way between our office buildings. I was a little disappointed my pita was dry and desperately wanted her BLT; I swear I was drooling.

"Well," Lois said. "It's weird a little, but not that much weirder than you and Ollie."

"But you didn't date Ollie for two years and almost marry him except for evil incarnate!"

"Evil in misty form," she corrected. "The point is that I'm a big girl and I can deal. Clark and I weren't right for each other. I don't know if you can make it work with a choir of Disney birdies singing or whatever, but you might be able to. I don't think it's fair for you not to even try and use me as an excuse."

"I wasn't-"

"You so were. Look, Z and I have been seeing each other for about two months. We're on that 'next level' and she's over here almost every night. I'm moving on and I like where what I have is going. You know?"

"I just-"

"Chloe, I know you. You just get scared and run. It's an unfortunate Sullivan-Lane trait. When stuff gets to intimate, we bail. This isn't the fifteen year old who ran off on you on the dance floor. This isn't the guy who was so up Lana's ass forever."

"He's not the guy who almost married you," I said quietly. "I...what if he only likes me because he doesn't remember Jack? I could be the default choice cause his brain got scrambled."

"He came for you at Black Creek. We bumped into each other. I...J'onn told me once that he got shot doing it, that he technically died."

"Well, yeah, but it was an accident? I don't think he meant to get hurt that badly."

"And stuff like that was why him patrolling again scared me shitless. His mortal track record is horrible. Still, you can't ask more of a guy than to die for you and to take the fall with Granny. If it wasn't for him you'd be the one who was confused and on 'this is your life' square one."

I nodded. "And it's my fault Granny got us alone. What if one day he finds out I basically caused this."

"You didn't. Granny's a bitch and she was gunning for him. It's not your fault; it's hers ."

"I just-"

"The way I figure it, you can have a million excuses or you can give it a try. What makes this so much more different than taking that plunge with Ollie or you used not to trust that much or Jimmy who was a jerk about the first time you slept together? Yeah, both those guys had broken your heart before but you did give them a second chance, for good or bad. Clark, I know he did more damage, but you could try."

"What if it doesn't work?"

"What if it does," Lois said taking a sip of her coke. "I had a lot of reasons why I didn't want to kiss Z back after she got more 'friendly' after a Jackie Chan fest at my apartment. There was just getting off a relationship, and daddy issues-I know I struggle with them-the fact that I sometimes have trouble seeing the person through the powers. But I took the plunge. Again, not saying it's Cinderella, but it makes me happy."

I sighed. "Okay, I'll try it but I swear I'm not promising anything, not Clark, and apparently not the cupid brigade. Between you and Conner, I swear I'm being double teamed."

"That's cause mini-me has Luthor in him. Smart as a whip but powers for good and not evil."

I snickered at the image of Lex helping me with my love life. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Uh, so," Clark said, pushing his sauerkraut around his plate. It turned out "group date" was code for Cassie and Conner were actually on the dance floor looking like clapping idiots and Lois and Z had found a group of older men with lederhosen and handle bar mustaches to drink under the table. I had to grin at that. Those guys might be huge, but they'd never dealt with a wizard and the Lois Lane tolerance. Both women would be winning their bets in no time; I could tell by how green their opponents were. Still, that left me and Clark alone, struggling for conversation.

It shouldn't be hard. Last year, after the virtual world, we'd had a lot to talk about, gotten a rhythm back until he'd kissed me. It had been hard because of the world Skeets had seen and because of Oliver between us. I wasn't going to lie about that. However, it was something closer to what we'd had.

Now, I just didn't know what to say. It felt more like a blind date than anything else. I mean, yeah, I knew Clark but I didn't know this one the same way. It was disconcerting.

"So," I said, smiling a little as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "This is awkward."

"Like by a factor of eight."

I blinked and stilled. He did that more than I thought. First the kiss like our first meeting and now one of my favorite expressions. I just...had Granny not done as good a job as she wanted? Tess had started to remember things from her childhood. Granted it was twenty years after the fact almost, but she had.

"You're staring."

"I'm sorry. You just...deja vu."

He nodded and started in on the funnel cake offering me some of the sugar laden goodness. I gladly took it, also a stress breaker. "I can't exactly help that. I just hope that it's not upsetting you."

"I'm not upset. I just don't know how to talk to you on a date-date. I mean, yeah, when I come by the farm we just watch the news or random sitcoms, sometimes we talk about books. That's easy. This is a date!"

He laughed. "That's what all the stony silence is about. Chlo, just because it's called a date doesn't mean we have to do anything different. We can still talk like we do when you come to the farm to see me and Conner. I'm not expecting you to like morph into a wilting flower. I wouldn't like that."

"Well, I didn't even get dressed up."

"It's the German fest. You look nice. I like your bracelets. If you'd showed up dressed to the nines, I'd have given you an odd look. Actually you look really beautiful. You put the other girls to shame."

I snorted, glancing at another patented low-cut Zatanna top and her boobs about to bust out of it. I even sighed at Cassie gorgeous long blonde hair and her bright blue eyes. "Yeah right. I'm a one of the guys type, Clark, always have been. I'm never gonna be va-va-voom like Z or supermodel looking like Cassie or Kara."

"Kara?" he asked and I froze. I wasn't supposed to mention her. There was no way I could explain that she'd disappeared with a time travel ring to a universe that had collapsed on itself.

"I, never mind."

Then Clark pushed the funnel cake to me and crossed his hands over his chest. "Who's Kara?"

"She's not around anymore. I just used her as an example of someone who was pretty. One of my exes almost dumped me for her."

Clark sighed but didn't press any harder. "Chloe, you don't have to worry. I don't want to be on a date with Lois or Cassie, which is very illegal by the way."

I giggled at that. "True, I grant you that."

"I don't want to go out with whoever Kara was."

I worked very hard not to shudder at that. Technically, marrying first cousins had once been both a royal and Southern tradition. Since it wasn't like 1850, however, no one did that. The thought was pretty gross.

"Alright, but if you ever...if you start to get your memories back and realize that I'm not really who you want, you can let me know. It'll hurt but I've learned it's better to pull off a band-aid fast than to try and avoid everything."

He nodded and reached across the table, taking my hand in his and suddenly I was fifteen and in The Talon again. "I won't change my mind, Chlo."

I smiled and squeezed his hand back. I needed to believe that right now. I really did.


	38. Chapter 38

It was funny the things I was learning about myself, even after a month. For example? I was an awful dancer, like I sucked. Hardcore. Not that doing a polka was the most graceful dance, but when I'd tried it on Saturday with Chloe, I'd ended up stepping on her feet pretty early into the dance and had begged out after that, happy to just sit at the table, holding her hand and talking about all my plans for my Torchettes.

Really, being a mentor made me almost more excited than being back at a paper and reporting. I guess I really liked kids and, considering how well I got along with my own brother, it wasn't that shocking.

It was nice. We didn't end the evening with a kiss or anything. I knew that would come later with work and effort and just getting her to trust me. Conner assured me that her hesitance wasn't all about me, but that she'd had one not-wedding and a really ugly annulment over two years ago. She'd been burned plenty in relationships.

If she needed to go slowly, that I got.

I mean, I understood a little. The version of me with memories intact had been close to marrying her cousin. I was willing to give her the space and time she needed. I believed she was worth the wait.

Yet, that didn't make me feel better about her slip about Kara. Obviously, if I didn't remember my mom or best friend or ex-fiance, there was no way I remembered this other girl who apparently had known Chloe but not me. It bothered me how she clammed up about Kara when she'd been honest about me being engaged to her own cousin. There didn't seem to be anything that Kara could have done or been to me that would be more intimate than a fiance.

Could there.

After our first date, I went up to my room and made excuses to Conner about needing to journal. He smirked but, to be honest, I think the main reason he didn't press me to stick around was that Cassie had ridden back with us to the farm and they were in the loft. I presumed they were making out.

That definitely would keep my brother busy.

I had access to The Ledger's database remotely if I entered my password. I figured that searching there for records of a Kara in Smallville would be a million times easier than searching Google and more likely to get hits. I typed in her name to the Ledger's records, dismayed I didn't have a last name to go with it, and pressed enter.

It took the database thirty seconds to pop up with an article from fall of 2007 about the Corn Festival and its new queen, one Kara Kent.

I blinked. That didn't make sense. I started skimming the article about Kara and, nope, it listed her address as the farm and mentioned she had moved to town from Minnesota to stay with cousins. I had a cousin. I had a cousin no one had mentioned and we didn't have pictures of at all. I had a cousin that made Chloe upset to even talk about. I started trying a few other databases through The Ledger's site, things for "Kara Kent" and, frankly, coroner's reports. She hadn't died, at least not in Lowell County, but there wasn't much else about her. I found out that she'd once been also written up in November 2007 as the employee of the month for a coffee shop that no longer existed called The Talon.

That was it.

It was like some time that spring, she'd fallen off the face of the Earth. I printed both the corn queen article and employee of the month puff piece out. I was about to stand and tape them both on my nascent Wall of Weird, when something about Kara in her Corn Queen close up caught my eye. Curious, I stared down at the bracelet on her wrist and the etching that was blurry on it. Going back to the internet page, I enlarged it as best I could, cursing when it pixelated. Still, I could make at the faintest outline of a shield that marked the band.

It looked like...

But nah, it was too blurry to be sure. I probably had The Blur on the brain from maybe ripping him off a little for my comic. After all, Kara had had that bracelet over a year before the Blur even started to appear in Metropolis and two before his symbol was everywhere. There was no way that it was what I thought. Still, I had to know why she'd disappeared.

There had to be more to this if Chloe was hiding it from me. I just had to find out what.

I considered asking Conner about my discovery but if he hadn't mentioned my cousin either, I was afraid that he'd be in on hiding her. Idly, I wondered if she was an adoptive cousin or if she was like Conner-blood family who had found me, only to disappear again. Sure my brother was great for pitching my Superman ideas too and a good illustrator, but I doubted he'd tell me squat about Kara Kent.

So I was going to figure it out myself, damn it.

I started with something easy enough, tracking down old employees of The Talon. It was a small town without many outlets for jobs. One of them was a cashier at Fordman's but hadn't had a lot of shifts with my cousin. Another girl was working at the one movie theater on the edge of the city heading toward Metropolis, all she could offer was that Kara had been nice and very friendly, also that she'd quit abruptly around February of that year. She, again, hadn't shared a lot of shifts with her and couldn't recall why.

It brought me to The Beanery, talking to the assistant manager who had also been in that position before The Talon had exploded (yes really) last fall. He was a slightly rotund little man with thick glasses and graying hair. I wondered how he'd ended up in permanent coffee middle management but didn't ask.

"Mr. Jenkins, pleasure to meet you. I'm Clark Kent and I was asking around about Kara. I talked to you on the phone this afternoon."

He nodded and ushered me to a seat. I ordered a black coffee and a muffin, even if I wasn't feeling hungry. I thought it would be only polite. He ordered a coffee too and I noticed his leg shaking a mile a minute under the table. Huh, maybe he should switch to decaf. "I heard about your accident, son. I'm sorry about that. You were a great customer at The Talon and we always loved having your mother when she worked for it when you were a senior."

"Oh cool, I didn't remember that obviously."

He nodded. "Sorry, I just was trying to say we do like your family, erm, The Talon did. Still hard to realize it's been gone almost a year now. That place was like my second home."

I smiled. "I'm sure it was. I...Mr. Jenkins, I'm so sorry to put you in this weird position. I don't remember a thing about my life before I was struck. My friends and family have been filling in the blanks, and it's been helpful but I have no idea why they never once mentioned Kara. I'm afraid she's dead."

"Son, I don't know why you'd think that. She quit The Talon after, well, she had her own bout of memory loss. She got herself lost in Michigan or so I heard for about six weeks and when you brought her home, she didn't recognize herself or you. She quit to recuperate. I heard from you a few months later when you ordered a muffin that she'd made a full recovery. I...frankly, it's too bad you can't ask Lex Luthor about it. She lived with him for a couple of weeks."

"She what?"

"Yup, moved into the mansion to get experimental memory treatments was the rumor around town. I have no idea if that's how she got everything back. Small towns love to gossip and most of the rest of the rumors, well, they're not nice ones."

"My cousin was sleeping with Lex Luthor?"

Mr. Jenkins sighed. "I knew Kara very well. She was a good girl, very sweet. I don't think she did that at all. It's just something people say, a pretty young thing like that and a billionaire seven years older than she was. It made a lot of people talk."

I sputtered, imaging my cousin and Lex. I'd try and ask him myself if he didn't for some reason hate me enough to fire me and, also, hadn't apparently had his own memory problems. Smallville and Metropolis were weird places. Between me, Lex, and Kara, it seemed like everyone suffered from amnesia.

"Mr. Jenkins, do you think what happened to me isn't trauma but related to my cousin? What are the odds that two people got the same total memory wipe?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Kara was your biological cousin. I swear, between her and Conner, you must have a lot of people looking for you, Clark."

Wow, the things everyone in a small town loved to gossip about, especially, I guess, if you were a senator's son.

"She was my full relative? I...see that could be that whatever happened to my memory is part genetic and the lightning, I dunno, induced it or sped up the disease process."

"But your cousin got better."

I sighed. According to Mr. Queen's personal physician, Emil Hamilton, I was never going to get better. I was never going to remember anything from before the day I woke up to Conner, mom, and Chloe's explanations. "That's not going to happen to me. The doctors say my case is extremely severe."

I swallowed and, suddenly, even if I was a guy, felt like just being alone in my bed with the sheet pulled over my head and curled up in a ball. Kara, my mystery cousin, had gotten better. Why on Earth couldn't I?

How unfair was that?

"Clark, son? Are you okay?"

"Probably never again," I said glumly. "I...thank you for the information. Do you know what happened to The Talon, by the way."

"Oh, I thought you of all people would have been aware of it, that Lois would have told you. There was an apartment over the coffee shop and she lived that after all."

"Really?"

"Yeah but it was Thanksgiving and she was at your place and no one was working, thank god. There was a massive gas leak and the whole place just went up. I'm still glad no one was hurt, even if I miss the old building."

"I...yeah, that'd been horrible."

"Although, I guess that didn't mean tragedy didn't follow a lot. Lois had been having such a bad year already."

"Gosh, everyone knows everyone's business in this town."

"It's a small town and no offense to The Ledger but not nearly enough news to go around."

I shrugged. It was true. Our town, even if there actually were mutant poodles at the SPCA kennel, was still kind of small to be as interesting as Metropolis or Gotham, hell even Granville. "Why did Lois have a bad year. Not to sound immodest but if she got engaged to, well, me then it couldn't have been so bad."

"Oh, see, your family's really bad at filling in gaps, first about Kara who apparently ran back to Minnesota and Chloe Sullivan."

"Huh? I just saw-"

"She died, about six months before the explosion. Just gone one day but the obit ran in the Planet. The editor, Tess Mercer, ran it herself."

"I...wow."

"Yeah, there's a lot more tragedy in this town than usual, Clark. You can mark my words on that."

Mutely, I nodded. I couldn't even process what was going on. I had a mystery cousin no one from Smallville had seen in over three years and my quasi-girlfriend was dead.

Except, clearly she wasn't.

I found the obituary for "Chloe Sullivan" from around the twentieh of May in the Daily Planet. I didn't find it that odd that Tess Mercer, the long-lost Luthor heiress had written it. She clearly was Conner's former guardian, based one when she, herself, had died. She must have known Chloe somehow, maybe from when Chloe worked at the DP herself. I just...I didn't understand how Chloe could be dead but right here, a living, breathing person.

Sighing, I tried going through government records for her. It was bizarre, not only had Chloe "died" according to the DP, she didn't officially exist. There had never been a social security number, passport, even a fucking driver's license for Chloe Sullivan.

I didn't understand.

I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Rubbing at my eyes, tired by my investigations for the night, I printed out Chloe's obit and all the "file not founds" from my queries, I stuck them in the back of my closet with my growing collection. I had a "dead" girlfriend and an MIA biological cousin. There was a lot more about my life that was outright bizarre than I could have ever guessed and I knew that mom, Conner, and Chloe, if not my "close" friends had the answers. They just weren't giving them to me.

It meant I had to start somewhere else.

I know it looked weird, knocking on Zoe's door at 3 p.m. on that following Saturday afternoon. I just needed to see her away from The Torch, away from Clayton who didn't want her to talk too much and my brother who had a stake in me being in the dark, obviously.

"Clark?" she said, gaping at me. I was infinitely glad she'd answered. I didn't have a good explanation for why I was just stopping by to see a sixteen year old girl on my time off from work.

I nodded and took off my glasses, rubbing them on the hem of my red jacket. "Hey, can we just sit on the stoop for a second. It's not something creepy, I swear."

"Oh I didn't think it was, but what's going on? More poodles?"

I laughed. "Not that I know of. You have another meteor rock inspired mystery on your mind?"

"Cheating scandal in the AP bio class. I have a theory the person who the kids say sold the answers can phase through matter. I'm working on getting proof. I mean the teacher kept everything locked in a safe under her desk. You'd have to be Houdini or a ghost to get them."

I shook my head. Zoe amazed me at her belief in the unusual. I mean, yeah, I had seen green glowing dogs, but I was still not sure this was a town teaming with people this close to being able to join the X-men. Well, you know, if the meteor rocks didn't cause psychosis in a lot of them. "So that's investigation for next week?"

"Definitely, and you need to stop red penning my editorials to death!"

"When you get that DP internship this summer, you'll buy me flowers," I said, sitting on her porch stairs. "Zoe, you know Chloe Sullivan obviously. She was the beginning of The Torch not being just lunch menus, wasn't she?"

She took her seat next to me and nodded. "Yeah, that's true."

"Why is she 'dead?'"

"What?" and now she was avoiding eye contact with me, even if her tone sounded shocked enough.

"Chloe Sullivan's dead. I can't even find her damn social security number. It's like she's a ghost, never existed beyond my yearbooks and her articles. It's bizarre. I even called the Metropolis Journal to leave a message about grabbing dinner with her on Friday. Her editor had never even heard of Chloe Sullivan. I blame me. I should have been reading her pieces, but I've been so busy getting on my feet. I scanned their database, not one piece in five weeks or more by a 'Chloe Sullivan.' Either she's a huge liar and doesn't work there and never did or she has a pseudonym."

"I can't talk about this."

"Why?"

"Because I promised I wouldn't," she said, biting her lip. "I...Chloe knows too much and if I go blabbing she could get in big trouble with them ."

"Who's them?"

"I don't know but Clayton and I know she knew too much and that's why she's not public anymore. I...Clark, try googling just 'Anne Hatcher' and 'Oliver Queen.'"

"Why?"

"Because that's the woman who left him at the altar not more than a month ago."

"No that's Chloe. She and he both told me."

"I'm telling you and if you blab to her I did this, I'll deny it. Still, google 'Anne Hatcher' and you'll know a lot more than you used to."

"Thanks Zoe. I...did you know more about me too? Is there a reason no one mentioned Chloe having an alias and my cousin's not around anymore. I feel like there are so many holes and I can't patch them altogether."

Zoe sighed. "I can't tell you."

"Like you can't tell me about Chloe-slash-Anne?"

"I promise, Clark, and I can help a little but I can't just blurt it out. I...the truth is that if you want to find out everything you need to know, you have to keep working at it and start at the beginning."

"I don't understand!" I shouted and Zoe winced. Maybe I had gotten a little loud. "Sorry, but I don't know where I'm supposed to start."

"Well," she said, her expression solemn. "You work for The Ledger and you said yourself that the town went schizo after the first shower. Frankly, I'd start with the backlog from after that day and work my way up."

"That's over twenty years. It could take me a very long time to find something."

She sighed. "Alright, but I did not do this either. Start with October of 2001, Clark. It all really starts there."

"Is that all you're gonna say?"

"Don't ask me again and if Clayton, Conner or Chloe ask, I never did this."

"Sure, but why did you do it?"

She sighed and patted my hand. It was actually a pretty condescending gesture and I didn't appreciate her obvious pity. Still she helped me so I didn't snap at her. "Because I believe the truth's the most important thing in the world, and the truth you're looking for? It affects all of us. So go get."


	39. Chapter 39

When my cell rang, I was half expecting what the caller ID read already- Martha Kent .

Sighing, I clicked it on. "Mrs. Kent, um, Martha, how are you?"

"I've been better. I just got a call from Clark."

"Oh."

"He was very excited about your date." I couldn't read the tone in her voice, if she was alright with this progression or frustrated. She was a politician after all, had been an excellent lawyer in training before coming to Smallville. Hell, even Lionel's secretary. She knew how to keep her true feelings back.

"It was fun. Just a group thing with the German festival."

"Funnel cake and beer I heard," she replied, her voice not unkind. "Chloe, he called me about an hour ago to ask if I knew a Kara?"

"I slipped. I...I wasn't thinking and I mentioned just her first name. I didn't tell him anything."

"It's been two weeks. Chloe, Clark's not an idiot. Even if you take away his gifts for math or his photographic memory, Clark's not an idiot. He's not said anything lately because he wants you and me not to worry about him, but his life has holes in it. Kara's a massive one."

"Did he mention others?"

"No, but you know how J'onn and I feel. Technically, we've known him the longest. We need to tell him-"

"Tell him what, Martha?" I said, my tone hard. "Tell him that he's the last of his kind anywhere except for Conner and that, yeah, he did have a cousin but she might not even be alive or, if she is, she's lost somewhere in the future-that-never-happened? Tell him that there's an ancient sorceress out there who wants to make him an antichrist? Tell him that the reason his father died was because of the Fortress?"

"Jonathan-"

"Jor-El murdered him. You and I both know it. Jor-El can go on about prices and balance and whatever else but the AI murdered him and Clark's never forgiven himself. What good would it do to tell him the truth. All it would leave him to realize is that he's an orphan in a way no one has ever been, that he's being hunted by something the Justice League is scrambling to keep at bay, and that some of the worst losses in his life are because of what he is and the stuff freaking sent to 'help' him."

"And what happens when the next piece doesn't fit, Chloe? Or the next? When he figures something concrete enough about himself to confront us with it, what do we say then? Do we smile and tell him not to worry?"

I sighed, realizing my voice had risen. I was yelling at Martha Kent. I never thought that'd happen, not a year ago and certainly not as a teenager. "You weren't the one to tell him, were you?"

"Tell him?"

"Jonathan showed him the ship, didn't he? Clark mentioned it once," I said, leaning back in my chair.

Clark and I had talked so much over the twelve years of our friendship, even with its ups and downs, with our walkabouts and disappearances. He'd told me once how what it had been like to find out he wasn't human, back during the summer he'd been made mortal. I think he never would have even then if he hadn't been half out of it between heat stroke and the buzz of the first beer he could get drunk on. But, no, even among us, there were things that Clark was never comfortable talking about.

That moment had been one of them.

"Yes," Martha replied, her tone quieter too. "Jonathan showed him. Clark was so upset, so angry. He ran away and spent the night out. We found him asleep in the loft about five am. I was so worried he wasn't going to come back."

"And when Jonathan told him, you both thought there were other people like Clark, be honest."

"Yes."

"Do you want to bear the weight of that conversation without Jonathan now? Do you want to tell Clark that not only is he the last of his kind but he's also horribly injured and will never be what he was and should be?"

"It's the truth, Chloe. He deserves to know it."

"Fine, tell him. Sit him down two weeks after he wakes up with nothing in his head but the background facts and tell him what he's not."

"That's harsh," she said. "I never thought you'd be prejudiced toward him."

"I'm not. He's my best friend. Was when I didn't know anything about him, was when I suspected he was a meteor mutant, was when I knew Kryptonian, is now. Nothing has ever changed that and nothing would, but Clark has never truly liked that part of himself. I can't imagine it'll be what he wants to hear now."

"I-"

"You know lying's best for him. If you didn't really believe that, you and J'onn would have said something by now."

"Perhaps."

I sighed and forced my voice not to break. "Martha, you don't know what it's like."

"You're not Kryptonian, Chloe, last time I checked. I can't imagine you do either."

"I know what it's like to be told you're a freak and you'll never be normal, no matter how badly you want it. I know what it's like to have a price on your head and someone hunting you, even if Lex isn't Granny. I know it'll shatter what very little we have left of Clark if he finds out what he was. Martha, don't. We'll do better to be quiet, but we can't break him anymore. I mean, first he lost his powers, then his memory, but I...he can't do another blow in five months; he just can't."

"He'd understand."

"Did he before?" I asked honestly. "I...two weeks into this is not the time. Look, the League can reconvene in about six months. We'll have a vote again and see if we think it's time to start easing Clark into who he was. But I believe in this retirement. Clark earned this. Hell,you earned this, Martha. No more intrigue, no more monsters from Krypton like Zod or Doomsday gunning for him. You both have lost everything in this. I can't ask you to give more."

"Conner's my son too now. I'm never not in this. I loved my husband but I knew him well too. Jonathan would do the same thing, a million times over, every single time, if it meant he could save Clark. I don't care if you had the Legion ring tonight. You could go to him before he went to get powers from Jor-El to drag Clark home from Metropolis. You could. But he'd still take them, knowing it'd use up his heart. If I'd been the one who'd gone after Clark that night, I'd make that choice. He's worth it."

"And him being happy is worth it," I pointed out.

"I heard him on the phone tonight. He's not happy, Chloe. He's terrified."

I didn't have an answer for that, so I sat there, breathing, letting the silence grow between us.

I was not even surprised the next morning to find a seven foot tall Martian in my breakfast nook, red eyes glancing over the headlines from The Granville Anthem . Of course she'd send J'onn.

"You look festive this morning," I replied, slipping out of bed and glad I slept in such sexy things like sweat pants and a Smurfs t-shirt.

J'onn nodded-he couldn't really smile like that-and then I heard his voice in my mind: I was worried .

Sitting down, I grabbed a bagel from across the table and started picking at the crust. "And green."

I can assume a more mundane form.

"Nah, it's fine. I know a lot of colorful people." I frowned slightly.

I thought it was sweet that J'onn and Martha were together, thought, overall, that it was a better match than Perry because J'onn knew everything, knew Martha as she truly was. Martha might have been human, but her sons were not. She wasn't in the League but was far too close to it and its secrets. As great as Perry was, he could never know her truest worries or her biggest priorities. It was impossible to explain it to him. J'onn...as with Jonathan or well even Lionel...they shared Clark in common.

Still as hearts and bunnies as that was, on mornings when I saw J'onn as he actually was, well, it did make a girl's mind wander.

Watchtower, J'onn chided. I didn't know you were prurient.

I blushed. "I'm not but wow, forgive me, I mean it just crept in there! And mind reading."

You're broadcasting it, such is your curiosity, he replied, winking and shifting into his detective persona. "A gentlemen never tells."

"I-"

"I still wonder," he said, sipping some chocolate milk, "that it is only my natural form that vexes you and used to vex Clark so."

"Meaning?"

"I have found that children your age-"

"I'm twenty five almost!"

"Children," he said, laughing. "Think no one over forty ever thinks of such things."

"Um, well forty is awfully old," I conceded. After a few beats of awkward silence, centered around me trying very hard not to think about anything but my bagel, I finally turned back to him. "It must be nice though."

"Oh Martha is a lovely woman."

I giggled. "No, I mean Clark's very supportive isn't he?"

"Yes, this version of Kal-El has no baggage with him. He is neither offended that I might be taking his father's place, nor is he disturbed by the thought of his mother and I."

"Well, I don't think part b is completely about you being, well, so unique."

J'onn nodded. "Kal-El was...is nothing but contradictions. He was distraught about me in part as a suitor because I am not human, do not even pass for it as he can, and yet, I could tell he felt great guilt over that and tried as hard as he could to support us over this summer."

"He really loved Jonathan," I said, not sure what to say. I loved J'onn. He was a great partner and an amazing ally. It did not mean I was into the tall and red-eyed look myself.

"Martha did send me."

"No, really?" I asked, bringing my hand to my chest and rolling my eyes.

"Chloe, you no that charades always crumbled. You told Clark that more than once during his relationship with Lois."

"Yes," and it still stung thinking of Clark, when he was fully himself and in his ideal perfect life, that he had loved my cousin so fiercely.

I know what he'd said to me. God I know he'd kissed me and almost would have done it again if Granny had taken everything. However, starting that May, he'd been so broken and desperate for anything to tether him. Some days, I wasn't sure I hadn't been convenient.

"You'll fail. He'll figure out what he was."

"It's a long leap from 'Who's Kara?' to 'I'm an alien from Krypton and a superhero.'"

"For someone who wants to tell others' truths, you are very married to lies, Chloe."

I shook my head, knowing this was not only about Clark's secrets but my own. "I'm fine." I rolled my eyes and let a glow spread across my palm. "Oh see, powers back, still working on the same triggers. Like riding a freak bicycle."

"Tell Lois. She'll understand. Her ex-fiance was a Kryptonian and her current lover is a wizard. I would think you wouldn't even rate in the top most weird contingent."

"I'll think about telling Lo."

"That's a rebuf."

"Yes."

"Think about Kal-El at least," he said standing up and taking his plate and mine to the sink. "He'll find things you don't want soon enough Chloe. He's bright and he smells a trail." With that, J'onn blurred away back to Washington.

I sighed and started heading toward my shower. Clark had been hurt for my mistakes; I wasn't going to subject the version with a clean slate and a chance for a normal, sane life to any more pain.

I owed him that.


	40. Chapter 40

She was dead.

Dead.

D-E-A-D.

My...okay so Chloe wasn't my girlfriend. Our sort of date had been sharing funnel cake and bad dancing. I wasn't even sure she wanted to see me again that way. Still, Chloe Sullivanwas dead. Several hours of Google had taught me that "Anne Hatcher," up-and-coming reporter at the Star City Register and now promising transfer to The Metropolis Journal had been the same woman who'd walked out on Oliver weeks ago and that she was the girl that kept visiting my home, had been my childhood friend.

Why she'd not just called herself "Anne" with me to start with, I wasn't sure. Still, "Chloe Sullivan" didn't exist beyond my yearbook and old Torch online pieces. I couldn't understand it.

Kara Kent - vanished  
>Chloe Sullivan - dead, now Anne Hatcher and on the run<br>Conner Kent - foster system, no record of him before Tess brought him to me (I'd already googled him, even trying him under Conner Luthor and Conner Mercer in case).

What the Hell was going on? People around me had terrible records or just appeared or disappeared into the ether.

Idly, sitting at home at my laptop (I was glad it was a Sunday), I put in my own name. I ignored the recent stuff, the things from The Daily Planet . Hell, I even ignored the things from The Torch . I started with The Ledger instead. It confused me, the articles. There was one about me having found some random caves in Granville, some five hundred year old lost artifact. There was one about my father-and this was very far back-about Jonathan Kent being accused of killing someone from Metropolis, his body in our barn. A day after that or so was a retraction, saying it was all tied up to a dirty cop named Phelan.

I was fourteen at the time. How in God's name had any of us in Smallville gotten mixed up with a rogue criminal cop?

The article about Lex Luthor's near drowning confused me more than almost any other. Apparently, I'd seen the accident walking home and jumped over the side of the bridge to save him. I'd pulled him out, given him CPR and even called the paramedics. He'd be dead without me. That wasn't so odd. What didn't work for me were the pictures and I even went through the Smallville PD database and Planet's photo archives (Lois had let me borrow her access while I was getting my sources back together; it was nice). I found the close up shot of the windshield I wanted from the DP actually.

How had no one noticed?

The windshield had a huge hole in it, as if someone had punched it. I could maybe understand adrenaline and Lex trying to get it open from the inside. Hell, even me opening the door and trying to get it all popped out from the inside. But that wasn't the angle. Someone had clearing punched through from the outside . If you looked close enough, you could even see the top of the Porsche crumpled oddly, as if hands had pressed into the metal.

The hell?

But the thing that made the least since was my adoption. A clusterfuck of nonsense with Metropolis United Charities, which had only officially handled two other adoptions besides mine-Tess and Lucas Luthor's. What the Hell was Lionel Luthor's front for bastard children doing handling my adoption? Where had I come from before being adopted on Kent Farm a few weeks after the 1989 shower? Hell, where any medical records for me? I had even gone by Smallville General to talk to the doctors there this morning, under the ruse of thinking about second opinions on my memory loss problems, and asked for my records.

I had three.

2002 - Broken rib  
>2005 - Amnesia and shock following lightning storm (ironically brought in by Lois)<br>2006 - Dead of a gunshot wound

No really. I'd flatlined on the table but the fucking weird part was that I'd been lost . They'd misplaced my body in transit or something but then I'd shown up alive at my family farm apparently and no one from the hospital had fuck all idea how that happened because I'd beendead . Monitors off, resuscitation tried, five hours before I'd been left in the morgue and showed up on my farm completely fine.

And you want to hear the really fucking crazy part. I know you do. The weird part?

No scar.

I went to my mirror and checked over myself for a while. There was nothing there. No scars, not weird indentations. I'd been shot point blank in the chest and I don't care if I had billionaire friends, there was no plastic surgery good enough to hide the scar from a wound that severe. But here I was, plain, unmarked. As if I'd never been shot at all.

My mind was racing, trying to put pieces together. I lived in the apparent mutagen capital of the free world. I had weird run ins with billionaires, Indian tribes, and rogue cops from Metropolis. I'd been fucking shot and dead on a slab and now you'd never know it, even with close scrutiny over that part of my chest. An adoption that didn't make a lick of sense, nowhere I'd ever come from.

I searched social services.

I did it with Lois's pass and my own from The Ledger .

Three kids went into the system in Lowell County after the shower.

Three.

Me, a kid in Belle Reeve named Cyrus (apparently his files indicated he had been altered by the meteors, was a healer), and a dead paramedic/serial killer named Davis Bloome. Cyrus's files claimed that he'd believed himself to have landed that day.

I snorted.

Right.

But if he'd seen the rocks falling and been traumatized plus already gotten powers from the shower that he couldn't understand, that could at least explain the theory he'd jumped to.

Davis was harder to explain. He'd been older and passed around the foster system, but something...he'd killed and buried over a hundred people in a corn field on the outskirts of Smallville. When I say killed, I should say gutted. Some of the bodies were barely a piece of a shredded arm or torso. Something niggling in my brain told me a normal man couldn't have done it, dragged all those bodies to Smallville over a period of a few months. He couldn't have shredded them so drastically, wouldn't have left bone particulates of unknown origin per my Lowell County police reports.

Cyrus, mutant.

Davis, mutant at the very least, possibly something more like the Manhunter.

Clark Kent - back from the dead, possibly punched through a Porsche (don't react like that; you really have to see the pictures), repeated memory problems in his family and the world's most flimsy adoption after the meteor shower...

Was I a mutant?

I couldn't do anything. I really couldn't do anything. Hell, I'd cut myself shaving this morning. Didn't put me close to Cyrus or Davis's leagues. I certainly wasn't stronger than a guy of my size should be. I...even if the weird angle the Porsche window was smashed in screamed someone had punched through it, I know I couldn't do that.

Frustrated, I thought over talking to Zoe yesterday. She'd mentioned also that even if the shower happened in 1989, the real weirdness flared up twelve years later. I started skimmingThe Torch pieces then, focusing on Chloe's stuff and not my ancient gym mat and lunch menu minutia. None of it made a lick of sense. I get it. I'd seen the glowing mutant poodle myself. Metropolis had metahumans protecting it. I'd even written articles about the unethical treatment of mutants in Belle Reeve. Still, it just was unreal reading Chloe's week to week chronicle of such a deeply warped town-bone morphers and pyrokinetics, criminals who could phase through matter and those who could make themselves invisible with rose petal extracts. On and on.

But the person who was there, I dunno, about sixty to seventy percent of the time? The person who was on the scene a bit usually before the cops? The Johnny on the spot?

Me .

The reports were usually vague-witnesses in shock were never super specific-but more than once I'd been credited with a save, with helping keep people safe however I did it until cops came.

Four years of high school and then a bizarre death and resurrection. Four years where I'd been that person on the spot, that person people credited with standing up to people with impossible powers. Zoe was right. Yeah, Smallville's weirdness started with the shower but it accelerated with, well, about the time I got to high school and when all the kids mutated by the shower grew into their abilities at puberty.

I exed out of all the databases I was on and entered the new Torch site, away from the archives of back in my day. I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't like a superhacker but I didn't have to be. I had a faculty override for the site, I could get into any areas Zoe and Clayton thought were closed off.

Zoe mentioned that the Blur had gone to Smallville high, that it had to be where he came from. Cracking my knuckles, I entered my override and a key word search for "Blur" and "Smallville High."

I came up on a file that Zoe had saved not more than three hours ago. She'd edited it.

Frowning, I opened her piece and had a feeling Clayton didn't know she'd ever touched it.

The Blur and Smallville High - Training Grounds for a Metropolis Legend

I skimmed it and knew what I'd find. She didn't have the name filled in but she had a highlight of the Blur's best saves during Smallville, and they were all places I'd been on the scene first, starting with Lex's near death and ending with some crazy classmate who had tried to freeze and steal the yearbook's "most likely" crowd forever.

They were mine.

Every single incident alluded to could be matched up to The Ledger or Chloe's articles and to stuff I'd sort of "blundered" into.

You'd have to be a complete idiot not to see it.

I was the Blur, except I wasn't anymore because whatever had hurt me had taken my memory and my abilities.

I went back once more to my hand written notes.

Cyrus - mutant  
>Davis - from the shower (?)<br>Clark Kent (Blur) - ?

What the Hell had I been and what the Hell was I now?

I was glad that Conner was out with Cassie. I needed time to think. I needed time to figure this out. I was the Blur. I don't know why I don't have powers. I had a sinking suspicion that I'd never had a lightning strike at the wedding. Everyone knew the Blur. He'd suffered worse against much weirder things.

Something serious had happened to me and no one had wanted to explain it to me. That was scary. What could be so bad that they couldn't tell me?

I sighed and sat at The Beanery . It was crowded but I'd found a small corner to myself. I was the Blur. The Blur was I. Blur Clark, Clark Blur. It was really weird. I'd been one of the world's most famous superheroes. And then I'd stopped? What? Decided to retire at twenty four and just ignore the world in the middle of some red asteroid attack? Had I been hurt then? Had I been in a coma since then? Hell, who the fuck knew with the hero groups. Had I even been on Earth lately? What about Kara Kent? Was she the Maid of Might?

So many questions. So many questions circling in my brain.

But the three biggest:

What had happened?

Why would Chloe and Conner and mom lie to me?

What was I?

I had a very scary feeling that I knew the answer to the last one but I didn't want to let myself think about it. Taking out my notebook, I began to read over my notes for Superman/Det. Calvin Ellis. I'd made a few notes Friday night and was actually really excited to have Conner draw this for me. I'd figured out that it wasn't an X-gene or nuclear bomb blast. I was going to make him an alien.

From a planet of snow and sunset, where the sun was always red.

"Oh God, I'm an alien."

"Excuse me," an older woman said, her arms loaded down with a frozen mocha and a muffin the size of softball. I stood up and pulled out a chair for her.

"Oh ma'am, it's okay. I didn't even realize. Please, I don't mind. It'd be rude of me to make you stand up."

She smiled and sat across from me, setting her food down and taking a sip of her coffee. "I know you."

I sighed. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I had an accident. I don't remember anything from before last month. Please don't be offended."

She nodded, her smile still warm, oddly reassuring. "Granny."

"Huh?"

"Granny, people call me Granny Goodness."

"Really?"

"I run an orphanage or I did. That's been the nickname so long for me. I've retired as of late."

I frowned. "Oh, so we know each other?"

She nodded. "Yes, we do." Eyeing my notebook she grinned. " Kal-El , you're so very resilient."

I blinked. "Huh?"

She lowered her voice and leaned across the table to me. "I know who you really are."

"I..."

"Come with me, we'll talk privately in your office at The Ledger ."

I nodded, paid both our tabs and followed her to the building across the street. I had keys to let myself in on the weekends and my office was the smallest but at least it existed and afforded enough privacy. Letting her settle in, I shut the door to my office behind us and locked the door.

"I'm at a loss. I don't know what's going on."

"You know that you're curious about me, about who you really are. You know I'm telling you the truth on some level, Kal-El , or you wouldn't have brought me here."

"You keep saying that," I said, my voice hushed.

" Kal-El ? It's your name?"

"No, I'm Clark Kent. My friends and mom explained. See says on my desk and everything," I replied pointing to the Fordman's special plastic name plate.

She smiled again and pointed at my notebook. "You know I'm right, don't you? That Kal-El is who you are. Somewhere you know this because it's what inspired the name of your very unusual detective."

I blushed. "Oh, the comic's crappy. I know it's crappy and uncreative. I just...it's what passes the time."

"And yet it matches what I'm telling you. Your story of 'Calvin Ellis' also known as Superman, the alien come to Earth to help the citizens of a large Metropolis."

I blushed again. "I...was he sent?"

Her grin widened. "You tell me. What happened to Calvin?"

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let my mind wander. "Calvin was born on Argon, like the radioactive rocks that hurt him? Same place and...I...there was a war and he came here because there was no other place for him to go. His parents sent him and he doesn't remember them at all."

"And?"

"I...he came here and he learned to help people first after the shower he landed in, because the rocks brought horrible things with them, but no one really has to know that part. Superman's the interesting part," I finished, looking back at her.

"Not to me."

I gulped. "I...everything about the comic...I thought it was my imagination or me ripping off the Blur but since I was the Blur."

"You figured that out and so fast. I'm definitely please, Kal-El ."

I frowned. "Did I come from your orphanage? Did you give me to the Kents and my little brother Conner to Tess Mercer?"

Granny stilled at the mention of the later editor's name. "Tess was my greatest glory, my daughter, my pride. She was the most extraordinary child whoever passed through my halls and I will have recompense for what happened to her."

"Ma'am?"

"That's for later. My orphanages were for girls, Kal-El ."

"Oh. But you know who I am?"

She nodded and spoke something fast and guttural, unlike anything I'd ever heard. I gaped when a small gold cube appeared before her, covered in something oddly familiar. "I know exactly who you are."

"I, may I?"

She nodded. "It's for you."

"How did you even do that? Are you a...well, I'll buy aliens and even Greek goddesses. Witches aren't real."

"I'm not. I'm a visitor to this world like you are. What I do is physics but humans don't understand it, might as well be magick. Call it as you will."

"So you're not human either?" I asked, my voice thick. It hurt that alien was the moniker that described me best, but it felt better somehow having the real name-the truth-than being confused and in the dark.

"No and you understand that your were never either."

"Yes," I said quietly, reading over the modest cube. "This is like the writing from the Kawatchee Caves in the articles I skimmed this morning. "I...this is weird."

"Is it?"

Understatement. We were just two displaced aliens crammed into my office on a weekend looking at a puzzle box with ancient Native American script on it. I was going to have to specify the weird.

I nodded, "Yeah, that drawing, the wavy lines and the two dots? It means 'water' but also 'change.'" I didn't even know how I knew that. It was just sitting there in my brain, like suddenly it began to creep in that the symbol for Superman I'd wanted, the one with the figure eight, meant "El" like his real given birth name.

Like mine.

But it also meant "air" or "flight."

"Does it?"

I nodded. "I don't know what you thought I could do with this. It's useless without a transfer catalyst."

Yeah, like I said, my subconscious was having a race with itself as bizarre Kryptonian-not Argonian but I'd been so very close on the Periodic Tables-facts began to reassert themselves in my brain.

"I know the catalyst I need. If you help me get it, then I can get you your abilities back, would you like that?"

"I don't know," I replied, honestly. "If the others didn't want me to know about being The Blur before, then there has to be a reason."

"Perhaps."

"I must be hurt pretty bad to have no powers or memories."

She nodded again, "Yes, but you know you're not supposed to merely stay 'Clark Kent,' don't you?"

"There's Batman and Wonder Woman and The Manhunter and Green Arrow and so many others," I countered, not sure what I wanted.

If I just pretended I couldn't put the pieces together, if I just ignored this woman-this alien really-then I could always just be Clark Kent, nearsighted, small town reporter. I could let the others take my burdens. Hell, I'd been speeding around saving people since I was fourteen.

"But," she said, drawing one long nail over the cube. "This isn't your destiny."

I frowned. That word was so heavy and cold, felt as if it was something I'd heard a million times before. "What is my destiny then?"

"You're special, Kal-El , like my dear Lutessa was special. You were meant to bring order to this world, to serve a higher calling, to help me."

"Do what?"

"Just as I've said, bring order to the chaos. Your former comrades, those who still fight, they do it ineffectively-a rape here, a mugging there, maybe something like that creature in Metropolis two years ago or that asteroid last May."

"Yeah?"

"My girls and I, we serve a higher calling, a way to keep all crime from happening, to keep worlds from tearing themselves apart like Krypton did, like Earth surely will."

"It wouldn't!"

She laughed. "Of course it would. It's been to the brink how many times in the last seventy years alone? With your gifts restored, you could make sure no one suffers what your did, what your real parents did."

"You knew my family?"

"By reputation and talk. Krypton's demise was tragic, but it never has to happen again. My master, he has a plan to help everyone and he wants you to play a large part in that."

"I couldn't. I'm just a guy."

She smiled again and squeezed my hand, her eyes staring at the box between us. "You were born a god, Kal-El, at least by Earth standards. You could be a god among men again. All you need to do is help me."

"Do what?"

"Get their trust, get Chloe Sullivan to take you to the Watchtower. They have something there we need and then I can make you whole again, I can give you a purpose and the truth."

"I have a purpose," I countered unsteadily.

"To write articles on Kansas county tax hikes? To be a mentor to children who will leave you in the dust at the paper owned by the man who murdered my Lutessa?"

"Lex Luthor what?"

"We'll get to that," she answered. "I'm asking you to save the world with me, Kal-El , to bring my master's vision forth. I'm telling you more truth than you've had from anyone in a month, save your own subconscious. You aren't happy as you are. How could you be when now you know you could do anything? Why be a man..."

"...when you can be a god?"

"Exactly," she said. "Now get Chloe's trust and get to the 'Tower. When you do, you'll be able to touch what I cannot."

"You're the one with the extreme physics or magick or whatever," I pointed out. "I'm nothing."

"But the witch on their side, she's not thought to enchant what I need against you. Why would she? You're a civilian now. Get to the Watchtower, get the remains of the Bow of Orion, and I'll do the rest." She shoved the cube back to me. "Keep this with you. I've pre-set it. The second you touch the remains of the Bow, you'll both be brought to me."

"I-"

She smiled and why did it feel so inviting, so calming? She knew who I really was. She knew how to fix me; had at least heard of my people. Hell, was probably in exile too. "We'll help them, you and I, the humans. We'll bring my master forth and he'll stem the chaos, bring his rule."

"...with strength," I said, the words familiar, both awesome and scary.

Granny nodded. "With strength. Crime will be something of the past, Kal-El , all thanks to you. It will be wonderful, won't it? To fulfill your role?"

"I don't know."

She shook her head and stood, pointedly not taking the golden cube with her. "Don't answer me right away. Just work on Ms. Sullivan and your brother Conner. One of them will get you where I need you to be; one of them will cave and get you the access we need. Frankly, I am extending my offer to both Chloe and to Conner. They're extraordinary, both of them. What Chloe is...I've rarely seen such power and I've seen so much in my millennia."

"What is she?"

"Ask her. And Conner, Lutessa's brother, her blood. He would always be welcome with me."

"Tess and I were siblings?"

"No, Lex Luthor and you are both Conner's brothers."

With that, there was a flash of red light and she was gone. Leaving me with more questions than I could ever hope to answer. I knew as much as I think I was going to be able to without more from Granny about Kal-El of Krypton, about me. What I needed now was a crash course on Conner (Luthor?) Kent and Chloe Sullivan.


	41. Chapter 41

I was sitting in Central Park, trying to finish my notes on an interview I'd had with the police commissioner over budget cut woes, when a flash of purple light caught my attention.

Magick.

Perfect.

"Z, you're not going to give me someone else's face or get me drunk, are you?"

Zatanna, who looked perfectly normal in a button down (too tight) purple silk shirt and dark jeans, laughed and sat down across from me at my picnic table. I was glad she wasn't in the top hat and fishnets number. Between Dinah, Zatanna, and Diana, we were really going to have to review our dress code. I know that most of them were invulnerable or highly skilled and didn't need to worry about stabbing or shooting but practicality mattered. I mean, how did you fight crime in fishnets?

I liked my jacket thank you. Nothing hurt like getting stabbed or slashed.

Of course, I couldn't be injured the same way I used to be just a few weeks ago, could I?

Idly, I rubbed my right shoulder where Mad Harriet had stabbed through it with her talons. It was unblemished skin, always would be. Probably just like me.

"No, Watchtower, I'm not here to do anything magical around you."

"Good cause I have to tell you, you know how to fuck my life up. I mean I know the champagne was to get the stick out of Clark's butt and have him actually relax for his own party but I think it went way overboard."

Z eyed my newly naked left ring finger and I glared at her. She had the decency to blush. "I didn't think of all things that you and Oliver would run off to get married."

"It wasn't legal. I...I still have fuck all idea what I was thinking that trashed. The week before I'd forgotten our anniversary and couldn't even call him boyfriend. Then some special champagne and why not be Madonna."

"I saw the video. That's funny stuff."

"The mint green tux has its perks," I admitted, setting my work aside. "You didn't make me stay married or move at all to Star City. You certainly didn't make me go the dream wedding for high society route and then have massive cold feet."

She nodded. "Why did you get as far as you did?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, not wanting to look her in the eyes. "The last two years or more have made so little sense." I snorted. "Fuck that, everything since Lex fired me was like it happened to someone else. For a while it was really another person, the one Brainiac was driving, but that only hold so far. After Clark and the League just walked out on me, I became someone I didn't like."

"The girl in the machine."

"Exactly, and then I was gone so much last year, either looking for allies or in Star City with Ollie. I've run so hard from Chloe Sullivan that I think I forgot who she was."

"Well, you have that journalism mojo back. I could read that off you the second we met. It's not The DP-"

"And I love my cousin, but Lex owns it still and it's a cesspool. Started that way when Grant Gabriel came on. It's not the DP it was."

"I know."

"I...yeah, it's nice to be a reporter again, to know my career is there and it's going somewhere. I missed that terribly. I am glad I know where I am in the League. I'm not big sister. I'll patrol, I'll do my part or switch off with Victor or J'onn or whoever else takes 'Tower duty. Hell, I don't mind helping people like Cassie or Courtney learn the ropes."

"But?"

"It's still not the life I thought I'd have."

"Clark," Zatanna supplied, drumming her nails on the wood. "Again, you're the easiest wish I ever granted Chloe. You wanted it so much, it shone off of you: ace reporter at The Daily Planet and Clark Kent."

I blushed, embarrassed. Clark was something I had never been able to adjust or run from. I loved him. Had uncontrollably since I met him and nothing, not even our terrible year, had made me anything but love him more. Maybe our terrible year had made it more intense, actually. Without him, I knew I wasn't my best, wasn't the person I wanted to be. When he'd come to me, back at Watchtower after everything with Zod and the Book of Rao, throwing off a casual sentence like "Yeah died again," I think that drove me a lot. Yes, some of that was necessity from the VRA. Yes, some of that was the fact I simply couldn't be the cheerleader as he fell harder for Lois. But a lot of that was the thought of him having died (again I know) and memories of him in my arms at Black Creek, cold and stiff.

We didn't have enough in our arsenal.

So I'd found Diana, Bruce and Hal; I'd pinned down the Suicide Squad and forced them to play nice for our sakes. All for him, always.

Now he wasn't even all there.

"But 'Anne Hatcher' has a promising career at the second biggest paper in Metropolis and, well, Clark and I are trying things."

"You were cute. Clark can't dance at all, but it was very sweet, but that's not what I mean."

"It's not?"

Z shook her head. "There's nothing I can do for him, but I know Lois told you that."

I swallowed and pushed away the sadness and guilt that overwhelmed me thinking about what my own idiocy had cost Clark. If I'd fucking let Conner stay, if I'd not even pulled a runaway bride, he might be at least himself minus the powers. "She did."

"Chloe, if you want me to be blunt-"

"When are you not?"

"Oliver was about settling. I can tell. Hell, I saw you at your birthday party. Jimmy was about settling and you deserved more than him. Lois has talked so much about what he did, about the Facebook messages and the stealing."

I nodded, my voice tight. "Jimmy had good points and I'm sorry he died. He didn't deserve what happened to him and I wanted to fix it."

"But he was an abusive tool."

"He said some horrible things, yes, but I don't want to speak badly about the dead. Grammy Sullivan always told me it was bad luck, not that ours could get much worse."

"Chloe, Clark's not your fault."

"Are you in my head like J'onn?"

She shook her head and her usual brash aura wasn't there. "It's obvious. The last few weeks, the way you look so tired, the hunch of your shoulders, how just angry you are with us."

"I'm not."

"You're very upset but it's at you. I get that."

"I..."

"Granny was going to have him. She's out thought us at every step, starting with the ring and then with what happened in the Watchtower. Chloe, we all fell down on protecting him after he did so much for each of us."

I nodded and wanted to cry, despite myself. "He's there, you know?"

"Clark?"

"The real version or some filtered down parts. He says things...they're like echoes of in-jokes only he and I would know. Something's still there. Tess even started getting her orphanage memories back. Granny didn't take it all. I swear."

"And we'll figure it out, promise, but Granny's a fuck ton more powerful than I am, than even my father was."

"I've gathered. Why are you even here?"

"Because we have a shit relationship but I like you cousin very much and want to make it up to you."

"Fair."

"Because you're hurting and it's scary all of us. Clark's not your fault, Watchtower, and he's not your child. We'll figure this out but-"

"I don't even know what to tell him. Martha's not wrong. He already caught me slipping about Kara, I know that. I just can't...maybe if we reconsider we should have Bruce do it."

Z frowned. "Do what?"

"Tell him what he really was. I can't bare to tell him he's alone in the universe; I can't."

"He's not."

"Not what?"

"Alone. That's what you and Martha and Conner and we are. We're his family even if the closest any of us are as blood is Conner and, well, some petri dish help. He's part of the JLA whether he's a civilian or not. We protect our own."

"I just want my Clark back. I want to wake up and have it be like graduation from high school again and be excited for something, to feel like things are possible and not fucking falling apart."

"Clark-"

I started collecting my things for my laptop bag. "He's not coming back. We can't fix him and the best we can do is keep him away from the lifestyle that got him this defenseless. Granny's going to come. He's valuable to her. She will come and she won't have him."

"Are you?"

I rolled my eyes and scooped up my stuff. "Am I what, Z?"

"Are you valuable? I can feel it. You're different, ever since Granny touched you. What are you, Chloe?"

"Meteor freak. I had powers for a while but they were drained and they weren't active when you met me. I thought they'd stay that way. She unblocked them."

Z reached out and touched my shoulder and I noticed her eyes were violet. "Whoa."

I pulled away and stalked off, loathing the fact that everyone in the League seemed to be long legged as she hurried up beside me. "Go away."

She didn't grab me again but did keep pace. "I should have opened my senses up more before. I...the meteors did that?"

"Clark's planet packs a punch," I quipped, in no mood to talk about my ability.

"I've not felt much like this. I...Clark as he was or Diana or J'onn. Hell, even a little like Granny."

"Like what?" I asked, spinning around. "Fucking antecedents please."

"You're immortal."

"I'm not, no such thing. I just...even Kryptonians aren't forever."

"I...I can't raise the dead. Magick can't do that. It never works right; prices paid and darkness taints it. You don't bring back what you're supposed to. It's always corrupted. You can."

"I have. Just Lois really and, well, Lex the one time. I am not into using it ever again."

"You can heal anything, even Kryptonians."

"I-"

"I can feel it off you, what happened with you and Clark and Lex years ago. You can save people who basically eat through energy. Granny would want this kind of power. Hell , I'm not gonna lie; I'm ragingly jealous of it."

I stopped and shivered, not sure how to take that. "Okay so I'm a freak. I heal basically anything and take a licking and keep on ticking again. Granny wouldn't want me."

"If I were rebuilding an army and after I'd lost a 'daughter?' Yeah, you'd be second on my list after a new prophet to replace De Saad's sadism. She'll come for both of you, and you'll just have us not say a goddamned word to Lois."

I snorted but didn't move. "My powers are my business. I know I pried on Clark's door far too much but the League knows what I am again, what I can do. If it's needed, it's there. Not a big deal, but my dad and cousin never have to know."

"Clark's an alien."

"Yeah."

"I'm a mage."

"Yeah been there."

"A.C. is an Atlantean."

"Also tracking that," I replied. "Yeah, Lois has loved weirder maybe, but it's not...I'm justChloe with her or daddy, even Uncle Sam or Lucy. That's all I want to be."

"That's the last thing you are," Z replied. "Think about Lois. She'd love you just the same. I...and be careful."

"Because Granny wants me, believe me after Clark took the fall for me, I do get it."

"No because you, Chloe Sullivan, are your own worst enemy."

Before I could argue that, she was gone in a flash of light. Fucking wizards.

The next week Clark and I didn't see each other. He was slammed with work at The Ledgerand his mentoring, also with a trip out to D.C. to get to know his mother's apartment again. I had my own job to do and, of course, League business pressing on me. We couldn't find Granny or her furies, had no idea what she'd do next. She could come for Clark-for us both really if Z were right-whenever she wanted. I wondered what her stall was, if it was just for the joy of cat-and-mouse of if she were hunting for someone to take Godfrey's place. That made marginal sense. Come back two prophets strong against us, not just with one.

I wasn't sleeping.

I no longer really needed to beyond a few hours a night, but I couldn't even get that. When I dreamed, I saw Clark over and over-with Gabriel and bleeding out from a gunshot wound on the pavement, impaled by the vines from the Zoner, dead in my arms at Black Creek, with me in Watchtower after she'd touched him. Sometimes I saw things that might come, saw Darkseid finally rise with Clark and Granny both at his right hand, the death and carnage in that wake.

Yeah.

Sleep wasn't forthcoming for obvious reasons.

Still, I had promised Clark. It was my job, along with Conner's most of all, to help to take care of him. I had my own busy schedule, but I was living in Granville to be available. So I'd set up a Saturday hang out, no pressure. No matter what he said, I felt like...well he barely remember anything? How could I move in and take advantage of that? Still, hanging out, at least letting him see where whatever his feelings were went (mine were inevitable and had never truly wavered in twelve years), I could do that.

So that's how I found myself doing something I swore I'd never do again.

Riding.

"Whoa, whoa. Come on Tyson," I said, clinging to the reins and the horn of the saddle with a grip even Diana would have envied.

Clark laughed and adjusted his glasses. I hated him for that. "Chlo, we're just going out on the nice, flat back forty. Tyson's almost twenty years old, and he's been ridden a lot or so mom says. You're gonna be fine."

"I'm a crap rider," I said. "Hell, I haven't been on a monster like this since I was 14."

Clark frowned back at me. "Purple."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I...nevermind."

"No it's not nothing. You said a color, and I'm all in shades of brown today. What gives?"

"I...it's stupid."

I gripped tighter to the horn and tried not to think of broken bones. "Nothing's stupid. Clark, you can say anything with me."

He stared at me a beat too long, his expression stony. "Maybe, but you're going to laugh at me. It doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe it does."

"Then purple. I...if we ever rode together, and we probably didn't, but you wore a purple hat."

It was over a decade ago. I honestly couldn't tell you what I'd worn during all the Rickman mess. "Maybe, eleven years is a long time for me to try and remember."

"See, then I was just making stuff up to feel better about me."

"You're doing well," I admitted, my body shaking.

"Muscle memory. I didn't expect to, but it's just easy."

I smiled. "That's good. I...sorry if you thought you had a memory that wasn't," I added as my horse stepped over a log.

"No big deal. I know it's not really going to come back. I just wish I didn't feel like I was at square one with everyone. I feel bad you all want to-have to want to-talk to me about old jokes and secrets and memories and I just can't do it."

"Secrets?"

"Everyone has their secrets, don't they, Chloe? Things we probably knew in common but like didn't tell my mom and dad back in the day or your dad and mom because we'd be in trouble."

"I don't have a mom, exactly," I replied, focusing on the pasture ahead of me.

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "I mean, I do and she's in a great hospital in Star City, but she's been catatonic for a long time, left me and dad before it happened when I was still in middle school. So yeah, we had things we never told my dad or your parents, sure."

He stilled, his horse coming to rest near the shade of a tree. He was sweating a lot and I realized I was feeling pretty sticky too. It was an Indian summer now and well over eighty even in late September. Still, I'd rarely seen him sweat. There were just things my brain tried to compile with who he'd been and what he was now.

"Clark?"

"What kept us so close?"

I blinked. "Huh?" Under me, Tyson stepped from side to side, clearly in no mood to be stalled, especially with the sun beating down on me.

"For a few years, you were at Met U, even night classes while all day at The Daily Planet , and I worked a farm three hours away. I looked at old pictures. There was another girl living on the farm for a while, not just Kara."

"I-"

"She was really pretty, gorgeous eyes, almost unearthly."

I gulped. "I know."

"I...if there was a girl I was living with here-unless my cousin was..."

"No, Lana was your girlfriend and not Kara's."

"Right," he said, tone neutral. "I was living with another woman on a farm hours away from your work and school but I get the impression we hung out a lot."

"Did Conner help you with that?"

"A little, but it doesn't change things. What did we have in common beyond the high school paper?"

"Clark-"

Something fast raced out. I saw the movement around Donatello's feet and then he neighed loudly, bucking fiercely but Clark held. Then they were both off like a shot. Confused, I looked back at the grass where a large red snake (did we fucking have red snakes in Kansas?) was slithering back into the water. Nervously, I grabbed the reins and part of the mane for all I was worth and trotted after them.

It took a bit before I found what I was looking for.

I wish I hadn't.

Whatever had bitten Donatello and I still swear we didn't have snakes like that in the Midwest, was poisonous. I found the horse lying dead, eyes still open, at the edge where the pasture met denser woods. Oddly, he was heading out, not toward them. On instinct, I dismounted from Tyson and tied his reins to a far flung branch of the trees lining where Donatello had died.

"God, be wrong," I prayed, heading into the woods and fighting back the urge to collapse when I found Clark lying almost as still at the horse had. The angle of his neck was unnatural and if I couldn't see the rise and fall of his chest, I'd have sworn he was dead. "Clark!" I ran and slid down to his side. Running my hands over the crown of his head, I started to cry. "Can you hear me?"

Clark looked back at me and he was partially lucid but shock seemed to be setting in. "Hurts, can't move."

"I..."

Clark looked up at me and smiled a little. "You look better when it's not in a stupid grey jumpsuit. I like being cradled like this a lot better."

"Than?" I asked, confused cause I knew he couldn't possibly remember the 33.1 lab in Montana where he'd died.

"Don't remember." With that, he closed his eyes and his breathing stopped.

"Clark!" I shouted, shaking him. "Clark, wake up. Conner!"

There was a breeze and both Conner and Cassie, at least out of uniform, were in front of me. Cassie's eyes were huge but she stayed frozen in place; Conner was already leaning over Clark squinting like I knew he would be, trying to find a pulse.

"What happened?" he barked.

"I don't know. We were riding and there was a snake and it bit Donny. Then, I dunno, how does this happen? It's a fucking horse ride in a pasture. This isn't fucking Doomsday!"

"Watchtower, calm down," Cassie said, holding my shoulders now. "Come on. We have to think. Conner?"

"No...I..." Conner grew silent but looked like he'd vomit if he could.

I didn't even have to think, just raised my already glowing hand, cataloging away that Conner didn't seem shocked to see what I could do. "I got this."

With that, I touched Clark and the rest was darkness.


	42. Chapter 42

I sat alone at my kitchen table for a long time after coming home from The Ledger . Mostly, I stared at the puzzle box that I had been left. It wouldn't do anything without whatever a Bow of Orion was, whatever the catalyst was. It remained inert there, taunting me. Did I even want to press anything any more? I had been The Blur but I was retired now. I could just pretend I didn't know and, Granny might have sensed that confusion, because she backed off, gave me space to think about what I wanted on my own.

I didn't want to necessarily be a superhero again or abnormal.

Except, she wasn't telling me things I hadn't already known. My damaged mind had siphoned it over to my fantasies, to the story about Superman and Cal Ellis that wasn't completely a story any longer. I knew I was the only one of my kind left, save for Conner and maybe the vanished Kara (Maid of Might?). I knew that what she said had happened to Krypton was true. Whoever we'd been, whatever we'd been, we'd destroyed ourselves. If I helped Granny, got my powers back, I might be able to stop something that horrible from happening here, from hurting my family. Yeah, I was pissed that Chloe and mom and Conner and everyone else had lied, but they were still the people I loved, the ones instincts told me I had always cared for. If I could get enough power to stop things like wars or natural disasters, if I could be Superman, wouldn't that be good for everyone?

I honestly didn't know and I didn't think staring at one alien artifact was going to tell me. Sighing, I stood up and hid it in farthest back corner of my closet, underneath a pile of old Crows' football t-shirts. I'd think about it later. I just had to figure out more about who the people around me were before I decided if I was going to get my powers back.

Conner...how could he be like me and Lex? I didn't understand how he could be biologically related to both of us and not to Tess because Tess was Lionel Luthor'sbastard daughter or had been. It was the parent they shared in common. Was Conner related to Lillian somehow? I was so confused and he was just too young to have come in the '89 shower and it was still only 2011. He was a hell of a lot older than six but not close to twenty.

I couldn't even begin to process Chloe. Granny was an alien, could make things appear out of thin air, no matter how she did it. He called that magick, himself. What could Chloe possibly have that made someone like Granny want her, extend an offer to her as surely as she'd left one open for him and my brother Conner?

Fuck, where would I even start to untangle this.

Frustrated, I curled up on my bed, making a note to tell mom that Conner had been out past his midnight curfew, and eased just a little when the ancient golden retriever, Shelby, curled up next to me in the night.

I knew where I could start actually, and Zoe would just be the beginning.

I held her over on Tuesday. Conner, whom I did find in his room on Monday morning and yet with the oddest bruises on his arms, like finger prints (?), had a debate team meet in Edge City. Clayton had to leave on time to finish up a term paper in his lit class. Zoe could wait. Hell, with the way her eyes were glittering up at me, I could tell she was even more invested in me becoming Superman again.

Yeah, him.

The Blur was a stupid name and pointless. It was for someone who was never going to be seen as more than a flash or a shadow. Det. Ellis wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that any longer, not in a world of Wonder Woman and Oliver Queen/Green Arrow. If I got my powers back, people were going to see me somehow, even if I had to get a mask.

I waited until I could see Clayton biking away. "Thank you."

She nodded and still stared, so intense. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Some," I admitted, sitting down at The Torch desk. "I was The Blur, wasn't I?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how I lost my powers?"

"I...Chloe never said but I think it has everything to do with the day Wonder Woman came, the day of that weird asteroid thing in Metropolis."

"Yeah, me too. Doesn't explain where my memory went, but I figured that was the day that never made sense. If I could have stopped that thing myself, I know I would have."

She nodded and leaned against the ancient layout board. "And The Blur never showed again."

" I couldn't," I corrected.

"Yeah, I...back when I saw you-as-you last, you didn't say much about it. I got the impression from you and Chloe and Green Arrow that it was permanent."

"Probably is," I hedged, knowing instinctively that Zoe didn't understand that being The Blur meant I wasn't just a meteor mutant, that she had no way to understand aliens or Granny Goodness or the option that had been offered to me.

"What do you need now? Are you going to tell Chloe and Conner you know?"

"Not yet. Actually, I needed your help some more."

"Clark-"

"You promised Chloe never to talk about me, and you didn't, exactly. I did the bulk of the research myself. Only an idiot would see the proof and not piece it altogether. I want you to tell me more about my brother and Chloe Sullivan or 'Anne Hatcher,' whichever."

"Conner? Um, adopted or something. It's murky. I looked over how Tess was his legal guardian before he came to live with Senator Kent but it's confusing, even for me."

I nodded. Confusing was a key word when dealing with Kryptonian intrigue. "I don't doubt it. I tell you what, Zoe. I need you to help me on this."

"I-"

"You already started," I pointed out. "I...you can tell looking at us. Conner might be smaller than me, but we look alike. We're not adopted anything; we're by blood."

"And that confuses you? You're adopted right?"

"Yeah, but I can't find his birth certificate."

"Can you find your own," Zoe said, her tone hardening and I blinked back at her, adjusting my glasses as I did so. "Clark, I have thoughts I've never ever even told Clayton about you or about The Blur, depending on how you want to be called."

"I'm Clark first, promise."

"Okay, Clark...you don't have a birth certificate and neither does Conner. I've already checked. Everyone with a brain and a memory or, in my case, hacking skills knows that your adoption was a fraud. That Dunleavy lady made sure of that."

"Yeah, the Metropolis Unite Charities that handled Lucas and Tess's adoptions too."

"I don't think you're another Lionel Luthor peccadillo," she said, snorting. I almost laughed. It was like looking at mini-Chloe. "You look nothing like Lionel or any of the Luthors."

"But Conner-"

"Yeah, I can see some of that redhead in him. I just...town with two meteor showers. Two guys, presumably with abilities, who have no record of being born..."

"Zoe."

"I mean not that I've ever seen Conner do Blur-like things. I'm just saying, I never really believed that The Blur, um, you were a meteor mutant. Your mystery brother with no real origin just confirms it for me."

"I don't know what to answer to that. I just know that somehow Conner was related to Tess and to me, but I'm not related to Tess by blood. I know that I can't find where he was born either or how she found him."

"So you think I can? Don't you have Ledger access and things?"

I nodded, "But something tells me you've been watching longer. Give me what you can find in three days on the late Ms. Mercer and anything else on Conner."

"You could just talk to Conner and Chloe."

"Tried that. They want me in the dark, would never cop to it. I have to get a mound of proof they can't get away from."

She nodded. "Do you want the same for Chloe? I mean I don't know what she knew or why she had to 'die,' just that she had to. Someone extremely powerful wanted her shut up, Clark."

"And something inhumanly tough took my memories, yeah. I get that we don't have a lot of time. Just start with Tess and her records and anything that might explain how she found Conner."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I have an ex-fiance to see."

I didn't get into the city until the next day. I called work and lied about the flu. I was their most promising reporter and the only one on staff under fifty. They weren't going to can me over one day; I knew that much. I drove to Metropolis, all the while wondering what it must have felt like to be what I'd been, to be able to just be somewhere in a blink because I was that fast. I bet it was fun.

Hell, the Maid of Might could fly.

No one had ever reported that about The Blur, but could that be me too? Could I have flown and now couldn't even remember it? Didn't matter, only flying I was doing involved an old truck on its last shocks being driven as fast as was legal down the highway.

Lois had a massive private office on the top floor, not too far down the hall from where Perry White, apparently my mom's ex-boyfriend and weird to know that but not remember that either, the Editor-in-Chief had his base of operations. That was for the best. I was going to need privacy for this and to hope that Lois was gullible.

I wonder if she'd known I was The Blur when we were engaged? Had I bothered to tell her. You didn't go around telling people you were an alien. I'd known that about myself for three days and hadn't exactly taken out Craigslist. She and I, we'd been very intimate once. Had I told her then what I was? What I could do?

Is that why every piece she'd written about The Blur was layered thick with adoration and bias?

Sighing, I straightened my glasses-nervous habit, I know-and knocked on her door. I needed to sell this hard. "Lois, hey."

She blinked. "Ah, hey Clark. Are you going over to The Journal later to see Chloe?"

I shook my head. "I actually had a few things The Ledger wanted copies of. I figured you had more copies of articles and joint bylines around."

She nodded. "Oh sure. No worries."

"Oh and Lois?"

"Yeah," she asked, handing me a stack of papers. "What's up?"

"I have a problem."

She frowned. "We're not really friends anymore Clark or we weren't. Do you want to talk to Martha about this or Chloe?"

"Oh it's not like an emotional thing."

"Okay?"

I set the stack down on the corner of her desk. Apparently always scrap booking our pieces was too much to ask for. "This is gonna sound dumb."

"Hit me, I'm an expert in dumb."

I arched an eyebrow at her and she laughed. Yeah, my gut told me she was annoying but, despite that, I could see what I'd liked about her. She mostly reminded me of Chloe but she had a warmth to her, something fiercely protective. I'd seen it in how she was with her cousin and in the way she was trying to make me feel better now. In a place without Chloe, she might even had actually made sense as a wife.

Might.

"I have gophers."

"Excuse me?"

"Gophers, you know like they burrow in your garden? Gophers."

"I don't kill rodents," she said, confused. "Smallville, I am not really getting what you need."

"Okay so this is overkill but I can't seem to set the traps right this weekend. Wait 'Smallville?'"

She blushed. "Nickname."

Huh, no that was annoying, much better we'd never tied the knot.

"Oh, okay, but yeah do you, uh, have good camera access?"

"Huh?"

"Your dad's military right? You can like get a few night vision cameras for me."

"For gophers?"

"Yes, gophers."

She frowned at me and then laughed. "God, Smallville, you are still the weirdest guy I know."

"I'm beginning to get that."

She got me everything I needed by Thursday night and I had everything set up by Friday morning. The hardest thing was trying to avoid Conner, who actually seemed to have common sense enough to question why I'd want advanced camera tech for gophers. (Like, again, Lois was very loyal and protective, but she wasn't all that bright.) He'd had some late night emergency to go over with Chloe, muttering something about her computer prowess being able to save his term paper from hard drive death, so I'd had the farm to myself.

I didn't believe him about computer issues.

I didn't believe any of them anymore. I cared about them, loved them because something in me couldn't not, but I didn't trust a damn word out of any of my friends and family's mouths. Why should I?

But if he had "computer issues," which had to be code for Superboy showing up at a tsunami in Japan along with the Manhunter at about three a.m. Friday morning, then I was going to take advantage of it. Zoe was still working out the background on Tess and Conner, had found enough for me to know that LuthorCorp had a lot more lab holdings than I could have suspected and that Tess, herself, had been treated in one called Cadmus about thirteen months ago, the same day all those weird symbols had spread all over the world.

The Kryptonian, really, but words I didn't know for surnames not my own.

She was hunting down more on the Cadmus records but I was patient enough. I knew we'd find whatever the weird link was between Conner, Lex, Tess and myself. She was smart that way.

If Conner heard as I had or as people always said The Blur could, he certainly didn't act like it. I figured the biggest glitch in my idea was the sound of motors roaring with the tech. Lois squealing? Not so much. I mean, that was the whole point in the gopher cover story and, also, we were in such a beyond awkward place that I figured she wasn't even going to bring up the bizarre request with her cousin. Still, there were reasons why this plan wasn't going to work, why Conner should have known I was playing him.

It took me twenty four hours.

I made up some lie about having to work late at The Ledger and left him on the farm on his own. When I reran the files I had on Saturday morning, I had images of him blurring around the kitchen-still hard to slow down-and of what? Did he heat up freaking toast and eggs by looking at them?"

Huh, I cooked with my eyes once.

Hadn't seen that coming.

Um, pun not intended.

I was sitting in my office at The Ledger , reviewing my feed on the pretense of more deadline stuff, when there was a flash of red light and Granny was just standing there.

"Holy crap!"

She shook her head. "Language, Kal-El . It's hardly fitting the last scion of a noble race."

"Maybe," I said, blushing. "Still, that's creepy."

"I thought we could use privacy."

I nodded and sat down at my desk. "You said you weren't going to see me again."

"I underestimate you a lot, Kal-El . I truly didn't expect you to piece so much together in three weeks, let alone have proof," she said, gesturing to the view screen. "of how extraordinary my Lutessa's brother is."

"You say that."

"Do I?"

"That Tess and Lex and Conner are siblings. I'm Conner's brother but I am so confused how Tess and I aren't related."

She smiled and again I felt oddly warmed, relaxed. She was just so pleasant, like all my other problems didn't matter in her presence. "But you're going to find your answer. You have the cub reporter on it. She's very intense; I can see her giving Ms. Sullivan a run for her money some day."

"I...Zoe is-"

"Expedient, impressed again," she said and I wasn't sure I liked that read. "You have a lunch date with Ms. Sullivan don't you?"

"Yeah, we're going riding and this witch thing or wizard or alien or whatever is really weird. I feel like I got KGB'ed."

"I watch my girls, always. I didn't do enough for my Lutessa and I regret that. You're special too, lost. I'm keeping a close eye on you, Kal-El ."

"That's good, I guess, but I have to admit. I have no idea if I'm going to get my powers back."

She laughed. "Really?"

"Okay, so I do want them back and I want to save the world, to help people like I think we could, but I don't have any idea how to get them to take me to this Bow thing."

"'Bow of Orion,'" she corrected. "You'll be ready to tell Conner what you know about him soon enough, but you're more confused on how to deal with Chloe, aren't you? She's older, a better liar by far."

"Even if I confront her, she'll deny she has powers. She'll definitely refuse to take me anywhere."

"Good thing you have a brother with equal access. You have two tracks and merely need to work on both."

"What would I even say to Chloe?"

Granny smiled and touched my hand, this time I knew I felt something warm lance through me. She was like every grandmother on tv rolled up in one. I liked her. "I'll take care of that."

I woke up sore as Hell and shocked when Conner flung his arms around me. "God, Clark."

I squeezed back and let him take his time. It was awkward. We didn't really know each other, and guys didn't really do hugs, but he seemed very keyed up and we were clearly family. "Conner? I...Donatello bolted and I fell."

He stepped back and frowned. "Yes."

My memory flashed back and there was Chloe. She'd cradled me and I'd felt very cold and tired, hadn't been able to move anything. Then it'd just been dark. "Holy hell."

Conner clenched his jaw. "What?"

"I died. I remember . There was this monster snake. It bit Donny and then he eventually ran through the woods and a branch knocked me off. I snapped my neck." Automatically, even though it was clearly not broken, I reached up to touch my neck. "I was definitely dead."

"Clark..."

"Don't lie," I said, forcing my voice to remain even. "I know what happened. I snapped my neck, and now I'm fine. You can't do that."

He frowned and looked oddly pale. "What?"

"You can't have saved me." I was standing up then, using my height to its advantage, not that Conner couldn't just flash fry me where I stood. I just knew he wouldn't.

"Clark, you had a fall and passed out."

"Don't lie. I know , Conner."

He frowned. "I don't understand."

"I know everything. I mean, as much as I can understand. I was The Blur but I'm not anymore. You're Superboy and you have the same powers I did. The Blur couldn't heal. Ican't heal. So someone else had to."

"I'm not-"

"I have a video on file from a server and on my hard drive of my laptop."

"You bugged the farm?"

I nodded. "You bet I did. After Chloe mentioned Kara? Of course I did. I needed to know why everything had holes in it. You're not human... we're not."

Conner looked frantically at the door, as if by willing it, Chloe would appear to dictate the new lies to tell. "I don't understand."

"You're not a very good liar, not really. Conner, I fucking have you on video making toast by staring at the bread."

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "We were trying to protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

"Chloe's going to kill me. You're not supposed to know you were ever The Blur and not that we're not fucking from here."

I paused and it was so odd, almost as if the thought wasn't my own but was more planted there. "Don't tell her."

"What?"

"I...we'll play it off. You don't want to worry Chloe and she and the rest of you clearlydon't want to worry me. I can't pretend I wasn't injured one minute and then normal the next, but if that only means she has to explain how she did it, cool."

Conner was frowning and I had a feeling I was moving too fast even for him. "What?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? We all want to save each others' feelings. I just wanted the truth and you didn't spill it, but can't lie well enough to deny it. I...the alien thing, The Blur and Superboy stuff, it can be between us. I won't tell Chloe or say a word to mom. Okay?"

"Why?"

"It's ours to know, isn't it? We're the only ones left with Kara not here?"

"How do you know all this?"

I shrugged. "I don't remember my life, not really, but the pieces are there. The comic was trying to tell me all along and you knew that or you wouldn't have helped me."

"Yeah, I knew."

"Then cool. Just take me to Chloe. I want to know how she did this," I said, gesturing to myself.

He nodded and sighed. "You're going to have to wait a while. She's in mom's room and Cassie's with her."

"How long have I been out?"

"About an hour."

"Cassie knows about you, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, I...when Chloe found you, she screamed for me and I brought Cassie with. Clark, Chloe can't talk right now."

"Oh she'll talk, I'm getting at least some things in the open now."

"No, you don't get it," my brother said, walking out ahead of me. "She's dead."

Dead for Chloe was apparently a frequent occurrence. It took another four hours, a weird deathly quiet vigil, before she woke up, breathing and pink as if she'd never been dead. I was standing over her bed when she did it.

She looked past me, to where Conner and Cassie were quietly watching his I-pod on my mom's window seat. "What did you do?"

Conner sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Clark woke up first and he wanted to see you. He remembered the fall, Chloe. I couldn't lie."

She shook her head and continued to stare at him and Cassie. "I expected more of you two. I...get downstairs. Clark and I have to talk, I guess."

"It'd be novel," I snapped. It didn't take long for Conner and Cassie to tromp out the door and downstairs. I eyed Chloe and sat on the foot of the bed, at least a little mollified when she sat down near me, not close enough to touch but near. "Here's what I pieced together happened. A snake bit Donatello and he threw me off somewhere, breaking my neck. I should be dead right now, but I'm not. You were and now seem remarkably fit and mobile for someone who didn't have a pulse for at least five hours."

"Clark-" she said and her voice wavered. "We can't talk about this."

"You're a meteor mutant, aren't you? Like Clayton and Zoe are always looking for. You're a mutant and you save people's lives and that's why you and Oliver Queen really got to know each other, right? Cause you're clearly both superheroes."

"I don't want to have this conversation," she finished, refusing to look at me.

I took her chin in my fingers and eased her face up toward mine. "We are having it, though. You're not normal."

She stiffened. "No, I guess I'm not. I...something happened to my ability. I didn't even get it til college but something happened and it blocked my access to it. I knew my DNA was still warped but my powers were kaput."

"Maimed but not normal," I whispered.

As I was now.

She nodded. "Yes, but I never thought it'd come back. The day you lost your memory, it came back."

"How?"

"I don't know, honest I don't, because it was gone . Now it might be more intense than it ever was."

"You lied about it."

"Clark, we were best friends for twelve years but, even though you feel like him, even if you were once part of him, you're not that Clark. Those secrets were my own."

I nodded and my chest hurt in a way that had nothing to do with my apparent (and at least second) resurrection. "You're holding against me my own memories?"

"No, I'm just saying you're not who you were. I didn't want to tell you because it's embarrassing and because-"

"Some people would betray you if they knew."

She looked up at me and she was so very pale then. "Say that again."

"A lot of people, normal people, they wouldn't get it. They'd turn on you, put you in the paper or something. This last like almost month you were putting on this happy, 'it's all normal' front for me when you had to be suffering because you lost me as someone to talk to, to really talk to. I...it must have been so hard, being so different."

"Being afraid people would judge you before they know you," she and I finished together.

I gaped at her. "How did you know I was going to say that."

"Cause you did once. I don't know how this memory loss works, but there are things you say that you shouldn't be able to remember, things I've only heard you say to me. I...a friend of ours, after a fashion, she was really close to you in high school. Alicia...she did it wrong...but she even convinced you to try this tacky Vegas wedding."

I snorted, thinking that she and Mr. Queen had been rumored to have had something similar if one could believe The Inquisitor (most didn't). It was some running theme. "No way."

"It wasn't legal, but you cared very much for her because she used her powers to save your life, way I heard it. Then a bigot murdered her because of her abilities in part."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and that's what I said to you when I found you saying goodbye at her headstone."

"My fake Vegas wife, Alicia," I said, trying out the words and being confused by them. "I keep doing that, don't I?"

She nodded. "Saying things that you shouldn't remember but are there. I don't know...maybe you'll get everything back, maybe you won't. But, no, not telling you what I can do again isn't even about you."

"I was gathering that," I said, reaching out, grateful when she let me hold her hand.

"No, I can't tell Lois. I can't tell my dad. I want to be normal for them so badly."

I flashed then and I had no idea how my piece meal memory was even working, but I saw myself on the farm, by the sunflowers, talking to that girl who'd lived here. Lara maybe? Lana? The one with the large dewy eyes. "You tried to be the perfect girl for them."

"I want to be just me there, away from meteor madness. I wanted to be that with you."

"I'm not upset," I wanted to say right then so badly that I knew exactly what I'd been, even if I no longer had my powers, that I was weird like her.

We matched.

She nodded and I squeezed her tightly, noticing that she was sniffling too. "I die and come back."

"Yeah, it's fortunate you do for my sake."

"My mom's in a hospital cause the meteors made her catatonic and I refuse to think that they'd ever make me like her, but I just...I never wanted this back, Clark."

"That I can imagine," I said, forcing myself to say nothing else, and pulling her to me. It wasn't a romantic gesture, not this time. She needed comfort and I needed to hold her, alive and vibrant, needed to thank her for saving me.

"I'm so stupid."

"No, you had a right to be nervous about telling me you were a mutant. I was off on that glowing poodle hunt after all," I said, kissing the top of her head.

"I just...I don't seem different do I?"

"Chloe, you saved my life and were going to take zero credit for it even if that was mostly out of embarrassment. To me, you're not just a hero."

She laughed and it was a slightly bitter sound. "I'm a superhero."

Yes, of course she was, and fucking everyone who'd been there that morning I'd woken up from my "lightning strike" with her.


	43. Chapter 43

Clark and Conner let me leave after a while. It wasn't completely awkward. To Clark's credit, he was nice about everything and I probably shouldn't have doubted his nature; he'd always been more accepting than I. Still, it was disconcerting sitting there trying to watch whatever was on television while Clark stared at me like I was the second coming. He already had a crush I still couldn't figure out-whether it was genuine or just what was left when you ripped everything else away-and now this adoration in a different way on top of it.

Overwhelming and it gave me eerie flashbacks to when I was stuck in Lois's body.

Once before Kara, Jimmy had looked at me like that. Ollie had even if I hadn't been able to match that kind of devotion to him. Clark, before he'd lost his powers, hadn't ever given me anything close. It was weird that he had not just a crush he was nursing post amnesia but also now he had this whole side to see to me, as if I was from a comic book. I was many things, Jean Grey wasn't exactly one of them.

I just needed time to think about what I could do from here. I'd promised I wouldn't draf him back into the fight and now he had me pegged, down to what had brought Ollie and me together.

It was why I found myself on my sofa in Granville with a familiar number ringing through. I'd been nervous that Ollie wouldn't answer. We hadn't talked since he'd left Kent Farm, but a call between League members often meant more than relationship complications. It also came with end of days pressure.

"Chloe? Uh, hey, is this a business call or-" he started awkwardly. I appreciated he was trying to keep his voice level.

I sighed and leaned back on my couch, wishing I advil worked on me. "It was a bad day. No one's hurt anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Clark and I went riding. He had a fall and I had to heal him." I figured glossing over the part where he was dead was for the best.

Oliver paused on the other end, weighing his response I was sure. "So he knows you're meta."

"Yeah and since everyone knows you're the Green Arrow, it wasn't hard for him to piece together that we had a business, erm, maybe more of a 'night job' connection."

He swore on the other end. "So where does that put us?"

"Well he always knew from the moment he met you that you were Green Arrow since everyone knows that." I wasn't sure if my tone was biting or not. Of all the things he'd done while I'd been abroad, coming out was the dumbest thing he could have done, and it had fueled the VRA witch hunt.

"Are you going to tell him anything else?"

"No. He doesn't have to-"

"Know and I get that, but he's worked pretty fast, Chloe. I know whatever happened he must have been hurt pretty badly but if he knows he hung out with two superheroes and Lois has always been known as the Blur's number one fan. How hard is that to piece together that he might have had a busy 'night life' as well?"

I rolled my eyes even if he couldn't see it. "I don't know. Martha's probably gonna kill me. I just...right now I'm trying to think of where to go with this. What's your thought?"

"You're not asking Mein Fuhrer?"

"Clark never should have started that about Bruce. He'd just castigate me for being sloppy and having to heal him to start. Besides, Bruce is paranoid as the day is long. He's going to want to protect the League from any leaks, even if Clark is the leak."

"Diana as well. It's not strategic," Oliver added. "Do you want me back in Kansas?"

I stilled, pausing too long. Having Ollie back would be too painful and too confusing. "No, I only wanted to know what you wanted to do, what you think."

"I think that you play it by ear. Frankly, if he has questions about if he was in on the superhero sidekick game-"

"I'm not a sidekick, haven't been in years."

"But he might think he was one considering his amazing sum of zero powers," Oliver replied. "If he asks about if he was with us-really with us-then I'd just be honest. Clark's a lot of things. An idiot is not one of them."

I sighed and, despite myself, wished I didn't feel so alone with him in Star City and me in Granville. "I shouldn't have gotten sloppy. First with Kara's name and then I...how was horse riding going to turn into something revealing? He'd ridden a ton before."

"What happened exactly?"

"Snake spooked Donatello, worst luck in the universe."

"Damn. I'd be honest if he asks. If he doesn't, then maybe he doesn't want to know or saddle back up."

"We're not letting him back in. Even if he knew all of it, well, so does Martha and that doesn't put her in Watchtower. It's too much of a sitting duck place, even once it's up in the satellite. It'd be what Granny wants."

"Agreed. Speaking of, do you have any thoughts on her lately?"

I let out a long breath. "Z's the first to admit she's outclassed by Granny. She's the only magick user we have in our roster. I have fuck all idea how it works and, shocker, being possessed once by a 16th century witch doesn't help."

"Smallville's never boring is it," he drawled.

"Not even quiet in high school, no. I have no idea where we go from here. She's all powerful, at least as far as memory repo and showing up wherever she wants goes, and she has a squadron of aggressive warriors who'll do anything she wants. Z's working on revamping her tracking spells..."

"...but it's easy for Granny to self cloak. Has anyone considered starting close to home?"

"Huh?"

"The orphanage was never shut down. It was under police review but the building's on the market but abandoned currently. Did it occur to anyone she might have things left over in the basement or secret tunnel ways, that sort of thing. She may not have wanted to leave completely. When she can cloak and pop in, why should she have to now that it's cop free?"

My eyes widened and I cursed myself. "That's actually really smart. We could at least work on bugging it. I can put Bruce on audio/visual duty. It might at least give us a baseline."

"And if he can teach Diana how to set it up, then she can do the same on the Islands, in case she's going back to read the pictographs. I'd do the same with the church De Saad worked out of. I know it's a long shot on all three fronts, but they're places we know she was before. It might be something that helps us later on. I mean, best defense is a good offense and all that."

"Really smart."

"I have my moments, sidekick," he said, his tone surprisingly warm.

"Thanks Ollie. Maybe this and Z's research will finally get us a break."

"Take care of yourself, Chlo. If things go south, I'm sure one of our faster members can come get me. I'm always on deck for an Apocalypse."

"And we have those as regularly as clockwork, definitely," I answered, clicking the phone off.

There wasn't anything left to be said.

Clark's schedule and mine were busy during the weekdays. It was the cost of me working out of Metropolis and him being busy after school riding herd on the Torchettes. Besides, I wanted some distance to figure out what I'd say next time I saw him. I half expected Martha to call me all week, demanding to know what the hell I'd been telling Clark and when I'd just go and tell him all of it.

It never came.

Apparently Clark wasn't spreading the fact he knew all about me now and that made me curious. He'd pressed a lot, seemed antsy with me. I thought he'd go to Martha for advise. I just didn't know how to read everything.

I did know that Clark and I had spent so long relearning our relationship that this was almost just another status quo realignment. First our fight, then everything when I'd come back this winter, his powers, his amnesia, and now him knowing I wasn't normal anymore. It was vertigo-inducing.

So meeting in The Beanery seemed like neutral territory and some place we couldn't get too deep into mutant or superhero talk. He was already there, nursing a huge iced coffee when I came in. I picked just a bottle of water, my stomach doing flip flops over everything.

"Chloe, hey!" he said, waving as if I'd miss him.

I offered a small smile and sat down across from him at the booth. "Hey, how's your week been going."

"Not dead," he said, smiling a little. "So I don't think I can complain much."

"Uh, about that-"

"I get it. We don't have to talk about it all the time or anything. I mean, Conner explained some of it and I get that the meteor rocks apparently do a lot more than make poodles glow or, well, all the stuff from fat-sucking to precognition that seemed to come up in the older Torch articles."

"You've been rereading that?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it's weird. All that stuff because it seems a lot of the bad meteor mutants-"

"Thanks for the distinction."

"There's a big one," he said taking my left hand and, despite myself, I let him. I could almost pretend it was back in freshmen year like that. "They should have done a lot more damage, even considering what someone like Justin Gaines was able to do. A lot of them seemed to get pretty detained."

"Meaning?"

"You think the Blur started here?"

Years of lying for him kept me from freezing. "No, I really don't. He showed up in Metropolis three years ago and now he's gone. End of story really. Lois covered him for a long time, probably was closer to him than anyone, and she still never really got much dirt on where he was from or his powers."

He sighed and dropped my hand. "I guess not. Still, gotta admit that Smallville is home of the bizarre and powerful."

"Am I both?"

"Maybe," he added. "I just...I get you kind of. I get the not taking out an ad, especially considering what you can do someone would really want to exploit."

"Definitely," I said, trying not to think of Black Creek or Lex's 33.1 ordeals.

"But, what I don't get is why you have to hide it from the rest of us. I assume Ollie was always in on it."

"For most of it, yeah. He came for me one time I was in a lab. You too actually but it was separate missions."

"So, you were-"

"Just a few weeks," I hedged. "It wasn't so bad."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Wasn't Disney World, then. You knew. My first fiance, Jimmy, did before we got engaged so he knew what he was getting into."

Clark frowned. "So we knew each other for all this time and you kept getting engaged to other guys? Where the Hell was I?"

"Good question and I could counter you and Lois literally got to the vows part of a ceremony."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I guess a lot of missed timing."

He nodded and grinned back at me and it was as I remembered it when he actually used to smile back in high school. "But we have time now."

"Don't get hero worship or weird leftover feelings confused."

"I wouldn't. I know what I think and even if you were still just Chloe, I like you a lot."

"And before-"

"Apparently, I was a twelve year running moron."

I sighed and looked at the table top. "Not always. I was an idiot too. I mean there were a few times when you wanted to go further, to try dating and I got scared and pulled back. I wasn't good at putting myself out there."

"See, then it's not just a parade of me not liking you."

"I dunno, Lana and Lois are ridiculously attractive."

He shrugged. "I can see that but I definitely think blondes are a Kent family favorite. I mean Conner definitely has the right idea with Cassie."

Despite myself, I grinned and took his hand again. "That earns you points Mr. Kent. Still, what's so bizarre?"

"You should go ahead and tell Lois. She had to know for a while before Mr. Queen came out who he was; it just makes sense with some of the obvious stories she didn't cover."

"Astute."

"Exactly. I know the GA doesn't have powers, but something tells me Lois isn't opposed to the superhero lifestyle. Uh, frankly, she was practically tongue bathing the Blur in her articles."

"Lois did get a bit carried away, I grant you that. Of course if she knows, then dad will have to know eventually."

He squeezed my hand. "Then just start with her and tell your dad when you feel it's time."

"I-"

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "She's family; she'll get it."

What could I say to that?

Lois's new place in downtown Metropolis was really nice. It was brand new and had that sleek steel and glass look, ultramodern. Of course, half of her apartment had a weird feel to it with antiques I knew better than to touch and a section of her kitchen with dried herbs that probably would turn you into a frog if you didn't pay attention to the labels.

I was eyeing a vial of for-real, hand-to-god "eye of newt" when Lois stepped back out of her bedroom, having put on sweats after a long day at work.

"Colorful," I said, grinning.

"Z has her downsides. Some of this stuff reeks, but prices I pay."

I nodded and sat down on the opposite end of her couch from her. "Again, you can't stop smiling. You're really happy."

"You sound shocked."

"We've had a lot of shitty luck lately. It's nice that after everything that happened with you and Clark...hell when you and Ollie didn't work out...it's just nice you have something that's fun."

"No drama, exactly. No lying and no, well, lying. I don't want to be a broken record but being in a 'triangle for two' with either Ollie/GA/me or Clark/Blur/me made me feel a lot like an idiot. It's nice to know where I stand from the start."

"Yup."

"How's Smallville, by the way?"

I couldn't help blushing. "We had coffee yesterday."

"And from the way you're grinning, I get that it went well. Right, cuz?"

"Well hand holding and a peck on the cheek. We're officially sixth graders." I looked back at Lois, almost expecting her to look regretful or to avoid eye contact. She did neither. She really had moved on.

"Then that's a start. Farther than you all have been since like 2002, congrats!"

I laughed. "We're from the taking it slow school, but he's not why I came."

"It was my collection of dried Chinese toadstools wasn't it?"

I laughed. "Not exactly." Sighing, I looked back at her. "I just...Lois, I've held out on you for years."

"Well I know you knew about Clark and the League first. I get that."

"No, I mean about me ."

"That you were Watchtower? Yeah, I gathered that."

Shaking my head, I steeled myself. "I have an ability."

Lois focused her gaze on me but she didn't look upset. I took that as a good sign. "How long? Like always? Like born with it? Or like eighth grade when you moved to the meteor capital of the world?"

"Neither. I got exposed but it took a long time to show itself, not til after Oliver left town the first time when you broke up. It came on and for a while I had it and then it went away for a while. Long story is that Kryptonian bullshit wiped out my ability to access it for years."

"But you can again?"

I nodded. "Granny touched me enough when she attacked me and Clark in the Watchtower. Whatever she did boosted it back."

"So you're a superhero two times over?"

"Well I wasn't that flashy compared to like Diana but essentially yes."

"And you what now? Is it wrong to be curious?" she asked, and I could see the patented Sullivan-Lane curiosity glittering in her eyes.

"It's not a wizard for the ages who can spike the punch or an Amazon, that's for sure."

"Seriously, give a girl a hint."

I rolled my eyes and set my hand glowing. Lois's jaw dropped and I shifted under the scrutiny. "It's a light show but what I do is heal. I...when I found you at Reeve's Dam that was me. I found you dead, already bled out-"

"And you saved me; that's why you were so sick when I woke back up!" She hugged me then and I eased into the embrace, wondering why I'd waited so long to let Lois know everything about me, even outside of Clark and the League's secrets.

"I couldn't let you...I'd do it again."

She squeezed me tighter. "Thank you."

"No problem, cuz, always."


	44. Chapter 44

I waited until Cassie drove Chloe home to Granville. I guess that one wasn't really supposed to resurrect and drive, or, that at the least Chloe was feeling woozy. Once the girls were out of the drive, I walked back into the farmhouse and up to my room, knowing Conner would follow behind me. By the time he knocked on my door, I had everything I'd done since I'd woken up a vegetable on my bed, both notes about what didn't make sense about me and what I'd written about Det. Cal Ellis for the Superman comics I'd obviously never been publishing.

"Clark, I can't talk about this," Conner replied, sitting down at my desk and sighing. "I promised the Justice League I wouldn't. Batman? Know him? He'll have Wonder Woman break my legs if I talk!"

"Literally?"

"Well, no, not literally," he admitted. "Batman's an asshole but he's not a sadist. I still can't tell you anything. It's League business and you're a civilian."

I glared at him, wishing I could do that eye laser thing he still had. "I wasn't, was I? I mean, The Blur was pretty much the biggest hero Metropolis had going for it for three years. Before then, I'm sure I had to have known Green Arrow and others."

"Well Wondy and Batz are new," Conner hedged.

"You know what I mean," I countered, pointing at the comic outline beside me. "This is my life, or it was, and I have a right to know about it. Seriously, what fucking call did you guys have to treat me like a child?"

Conner stiffened. "Mom, J'onn, and I didn't want to. Chloe, Wondy, Batz and Green Arrow did."

"Did you think what? I'd find out you all were superheroes and run to Lex with an exclusive to get my job back? Do you think I'm that stupid?"

"No, Clark, I don't think even Batman believed that you'd really do that. You're not with us but you know most of us and you wouldn't want us hurt or hunted; I believe that."

"Gee thanks."

"I think Arrow, Batz, and Wondy were just being cautious. Chloe...she didn't want you to hurt."

"I was really fucking confused. Nothing made sense from day one and starting with no pictures of you and just getting worse to a cousin who just fell off the face of the Earth and to the fact 'Chloe Sullivan' is at best dead and most of her records are just erased like her SSN."

"You checked that, huh? Did Zoe?"

I shook my head. " I did it. I'm not an idiot. I guess I'm not some super genius alien right now but I'm not an idiot either. How long did you really think I wasn't gonna notice?"

"I knew you'd get it. It's why I helped you with the comic. I was hoping if we kept at it, you'd remember everything first hand and not just have these weird feelings coming to you. Mom wants to tell you so badly. Chloe...even she realized we'd probably have to break down and tell you by March."

"Wow, six months, how generous," I snapped, shaking my head.

"She hurts for you, you know. She didn't know how to tell you who you'd been, what you really are without making you feel like utter crap."

I frowned and picked up the comic, flipping through it and to the page describing the Argonian Civil War. "There aren't any others are there?"

"There's you and me and our cousin Kara is lost right now. I...we're not sure when she is."

"Where."

"No, when ," Conner corrected. "She stole a time travel ring and went to the future, except the year she went to was irrevocably fucked up and basically collapsed in on itself."

"What?" I asked and my pulse was quickening. I assumed that Kara would come home, could be made to come home now that the cards were on the table.

"Everything got messed up, Clark. I...when you were marrying Lois last May, you were exposed to a form of Kryptonite, um like the Argonite from the comic?"

"Right."

"It stripped you permanently of all your abilities, every single one. There's no way to get them back."

That he knew of.

"I-"

"Go with me on this but we know a guy from the future who's sort of being a tourist in the 21st Century. He told you how it was supposed to have been. You were never supposed to lose your powers, Superman was supposed to have been the world's greatest superhero, and him being an out and proud alien would have changed Earth's relationship with other 'immigrants to Earth,'" Conner said, making air quotes with his fingers. "By the year 3000, where Kara took off to, it was supposed to be a whole Legion of superheroes who were all aliens who'd come to Earth to be like you."

I gulped at the enormity of that. I definitely hadn't gotten that far in my comic outline. Superhero, okay, not that weird nowadays. Alien, alright scary but still there was that Martian Manhunter guy. The reason humans learned about first contact and learned how to embrace all aliens across the universe. Jesus, I wasn't some Messiah. I was just a guy. Snorting, I adjust my glasses. Hell, I didn't even have 20/20 vision anymore.

"But I got injured and nothing with Superman ever happened and no Legion and now Kara is?"

"We don't know, alright? We're working on finding her, I promise, but we are kind of stumped."

"But we can, right?"

"I think one of us is working on some tracking spells, yes," Conner said, blushing a little. "Yeah, surprise magick's real and it sucks ass. It really hurts, even if you had all our abilities."

"Oh," I replied, trying to pretend that I didn't see Granny appear and disappear at will on a weekly basis.

"I just," Conner started, putting his elbows on his knees. "Chloe didn't know how to tell you you were alone almost in the whole universe and weren't ever going to be Superman. Not gonna lie, Mom says you took the whole 'phone home' thing super shitty when she and dad told you your freshman year. Also? You weren't doing much better adjusting to being Joe Average after Booster Gold and Skeets swore you would have been Superman."

"That I get, but I had a right to know. I...you think they'll break down and tell me anyway in about five months?"

Conner nodded. "We're smart. You figured it out superfast. They'll get that they can't treat you like a lobotomized gopher forever."

I blanched at that image. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Did you come in the second shower then? Is that why you weren't around really when we were kids?"

Conner sighed. "Clark, if you think being an alien refugee is weird, you've got no idea how fucking bizarre that rabbit hole gets."

I laughed bitterly and pointed to my chest. "Super alien messiah, erm, or I was gonna be."

Conner snickered and pointed at himself. "Your 'son' for lack of a better term with Lex Luthor."

I fell off the bed and that.

The ice pack Conner had brought back for my left elbow wasn't helping that much. It was going to be throbbing for days. "Here, this is supposed to stop swelling right?"

"Yeah, I...uh, I guess now that you mention it, I don't really know much about first aide."

"We can Google it later," he replied, helping me back to the bed. "Are you okay?"

"Sore, uh, son , but mostly just fucking confused."

Conner rolled his eyes. "That's how I felt when I figured out what I was technically. I...Lex Luthor ran a ton of illegal cloning experiments via a shell operation at Cadmus Labs. One of them was creating a clone that was part his DNA and part yours-no we have no idea where he got your DNA from and it's probably best not to dwell on it."

"Um?"

"Maybe some saliva on a cup when you visited the mansion?"

"Were we? I...I never really thought I was gay. Help me out here."

Conner blushed. He, too, would rather be anywhere else. "No, but he was obsessed with getting your secret. I...the last thing Tess did before he killed her was make sure that'd never happen. He's about as mind wiped about the Kryptonian/alien stuff as you are. Currently, Lex doesn't know anything about your old weirdness or Blur connection."

"So Tess stripped Lex's memories and he killed her for it and that's why you live with me and mom now?"

Conner stiffened and looked away. "Yeah, fucked up right? I mean, I really think of it more like you and Lex are my brothers and I got stuff from each of you. I am so not into thinking of you as like my dad. I...well I feel seventeen and you're like eight years older than I am then and it's just...you're my brother, you know?"

"Yeah, I really do not want dad duties either. I'm not offended."

Conner nodded and looked back at me, his eyes shiny. "But yeah Lex is part of me, all that Luthor conniving bullshit. I'm not stupid enough to think it's not. So I have these three siblings basically. My sister stripped one brother's memories to save the other and then, because of that, Lex killed her. I mean what a fucked up family is that?"

Reaching over, I squeezed his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I...Tess didn't have to do that to save my life."

"Sure as shit she didn't. Ironically, when she did it, you were already injured and were as mortal as possible, nearsightedness included. I...she died to hide the fact you were super and you weren't even super!"

I flinched. "I'm sorry, Conner. I...even if I don't remember her or what I was really, I'll always be grateful someone died trying to protect me, okay?"

"Yeah and that's just I don't know what. On one side I have basically infinite power from the alien DNA swimming around in here and the other, as nice as Tess could be, I still have Luthor crazy genes running around in here. I'm not a fool. I know Tess did things before she reformed and joined the League, murdered people. Lex killed his father and his sister. I...I'm part of a lot of really evil people, Clark."

"And you're not Lex anymore than you're me, you know? You're your own guy."

"Grown in a petri dish," Conner grumped. "I...sorry this was about trying to make you feel less confused. We've talked about Tess before and about what this weird relationship we have is or isn't. I like having a brother. I'm cool with that. If I need something paternal, J'onn's not a bad pseudo dad, you know?"

I nodded. "Good cause I think I wouldn't have a clue how to channel Ward Cleaver, you know?"

Conner laughed. "God, the random things you do remember. So your life before four weeks ago is a blank but everything with Leave it to Beaver is in there?"

"I guess so. Or like Andy Griffith or Danny Tanner or whatever sitcom of your choice. I'm too messed up to be dad-like. I can be a brother though. We'll figure out how to get justice for Tess, I promise you, Conner. It might take years to nail him, but I'll do whatever I can from the reporting angle to stick this to him, okay?"

Conner sniffled. "Tess was flawed-"

"Who isn't?"

"But she loved me, Clark. She loved you too. The fact the League made her a member this year, gave her a real home? It meant the world to did."

I frowned. "Was she in love with me?"

Conner sighed and swiveled in his chair. "I think she was. I'm not sure if she realized it and just thought it was a lot of adoration and complimenting her hero but, yes, Clark. I think she loved you very much. I don't think you go out on a suicide mission for someone you're not in love with."

"I-"

He nodded and swiped at his eyes; I pretended not to notice. "It's okay, Clark. You have a shit radar at picking women. You were always off chasing the pretty ones-not that I don't think Lois can kick some ass when she needs to."

"Is she League?"

"Not completely. I mean she doesn't patrol or like have an outfit but she helped where she could on recon stuff like Tess did."

"Oh."

"Lois is hot. You'd have to be blind not to see that. Lana was amazingly pretty and both parts of my DNA had a major hard on for her."

"Uh," I floundered. "That girl who used to live on the farm, right?"

"She was Lex's wife once and before that your college girlfriend," Conner added.

"I just have a flash of her or two. She was pretty but I honestly don't remember anything else."

Conner nodded. "Lois and Lana are beautiful, Clark, everything a guy with blood rushing to other places could want, but they were never the full substance. You had a shit record of seeing what was right in front of you. Chloe and Tess..."

"Both did die or died a little for me."

Weird you could use that phrase to describe Chloe. So very weird.

He nodded. "It's okay you didn't get it about Tess; we can be dense. I still think you should know. She loved you very much and working with The Blur made her feel so happy. I can't even explain how happy she was this year when she talked about the League and about you."

"I'm sorry I didn't know or that, apparently, I never felt that way back."

"Do you feel that way back about Chloe?"

"Yes. There's hardly anything left in me but whatever has come out in that comic, a few very random flashes that don't make much sense without the context, and feelings."

"Feelings?"

"I love you and mom and Chloe. I know I don't have the experiences or the memories to go with the feelings but I feel safe and protected with all three of you. I trust that. With Chloe, though, it's not just a 'family' thing. I...she's so beautiful."

Conner grinned. "Told you we liked blondes, just like me and Cassie."

"Does she know about you Conner? About who you really are?"

He nodded. "She's Wondergirl. It works out well. I...I'm too young to control my strength all the time and she's the same way. We're really only equipped to date other superhumans."

"Wow."

"Well, you're older and now you're normal. I really don't think you'll randomly crush Chloe, Clark."

My eyes widened and I gaped at him. My clone/brother had not just implied there was a time I could have crushed Chloe to dust in bed if I slipped in my concentration. He just hadn't. "I-"

"Superpowers can be very overrated. I...Cassie and I work because she shares the mission I share; she shares the same type of secrets and isolation. It's sort of flipped because now you're normal, physically, and Chloe's got all the power but it's the same. You two were off stopping evil in this town back in freshman year and with just run of the mill meteor freaks gone bad. Stuff like Lex Luthor or alien intrigue is bigger, not different."

"And she thinks I'm a turnip. She treats me like I'm retarded half the time, that I can't make my decisions even if most of my life's a blank. I'm still rational here!"

Conner snorted. "You're still dense man. Nice to know that things never change. Clark, she's scared you'll wake up with all your memories one day and dump her ass for Lois's, go beg her cousin to start all over."

"Why would I do that?"

Conner shrugged. " You wouldn't. Hell we wouldn't. Besides, Lois is dating a woman now and it's pretty serious pretty fast. She's really not batting for that team currently."

"Oh."

"Right, but Chloe's been stomped on about a billion times, way I heard it. So her pulling away has zero to do with her and everything to do with Chloe Sullivan Coping 101."

"So you're Freud now?"

"I took AP psychology last year," Conner admitted. "Just keep at it, man. Even she'll get that you're serious."

"I intend to."

"Can we tell them now that you figured it all out on your own and always somehow still knew the Superman stuff?

I shook my head, that thought that wasn't quite my own, that instinct wriggling in my brain screaming that wasn't the way to play it. "No. I have you right now and I can sort of figure this stuff out, you know?"

"I-"

"It's like what's good for the gander is good for the goose you know?"

"Clark, lying to Chloe to get back at her for lying to you is incredibly immature."

"Then maybe I want to get to know her when my alien crap and hero baggage or sad mistakes aren't in the way. If she couldn't trust the old me then I want to show her that my feelings for her, where it counts, are real and that it's nothing to do with being fried or human now or anything."

My brother hesitated and I held my breath, hoping he'd play along with my request.

"Okay, but this seems like a really shitty idea."

Truer words.

I'd held Zoe after Clayton that afternoon at The Torch on the pretext of working out a side project for her at The Ledger to help build her resume. Of the two of them, Zoe wanted the journalism career. Clayton was a bit more into Zoe than being the next Carl Bernstein. She listened as I told her everything I had gotten out of Conner. I didn't tell her about Granny or about Chloe's abilities. I just kept it to about how I knew for sure I'd been not only The Blur but was, well, technically an alien still and that Conner was my mostly clone.

She was gaping at me. "Conner what now?"

I shrugged and adjusted my glasses. "Conner's half me and half Lex Luthor. Don't tell anyone."

"You're trusting me with a lot of things, Clark. I mean I had pretty much put together that you and Conner were aliens and that you were The Blur and Superboy respectively. This just confirms it. But illicit LuthorCorp cloning? Soricide plots? That's pretty amazing!"

I shook my head and put hands on both her shoulders. "You can't just take up the 'let's expose Lex Luthor' plan on your own."

"I wasn't...exactly. We could do it together. Hell, make a Torch senior project."

I frowned and something just came to me, the way the image of Lana in the sunflower field had or the quotes to Chloe I couldn't explain. I was standing in an office filled with ugly pink file cabinets and Chloe was fighting back tears explaining how Lex had fired her.

Because of my secret.

"I..Zoe, you said that 'Anne Hatcher' had to exist because Chloe knew too much right?"

"Yeah totally!"

"What if it was knowing too much about Lex that got her in trouble? I mean, he killed his own sister and you know what people say about him and Lionel and him and his little brother Julian. Lex will go after anyone ."

"Chloe knew about you so she knew too much. Lex wanted her shut up and she faked her death and went into hiding and even now came back with a fake alias and is staying as far from him as she can. I should have seen that sooner!" She was beaming and it was oddly Chloe-like and also giving me hives.

"Zoe, Lex murders people. He ruins lives. It is not a class project to try and nail him for murder."

"What about for all the people who get transferred from Belle Reve to Cadmus and are never heard from again, Clark? He's evil!"

"We'll figure something at and by we, I mean me . You're a kid, Zoe."

"Chloe was younger than me when she testified against Lionel Luthor!"

"And look how she almost got blown to Hell to do it. Not to be immodest but if her best friend wasn't a superpowered alien, she never would have made it to trial and you know that. Absolutely not. I...I never should have told you about Lex."

"Why did you?"

"Because I like having a sounding board and I'm a selfish ass. I just...I know you can't let Conner know you know but just be nice to him. He's had it so rough and, technically, he's like barely a year old."

She shook her head. "Unreal, but I like Conner. He's really smart and nice. I'd treat him well whether he really was just a half brother or a clone. I just think Lex needs to pay."

"One day he will, just like Lionel got convicted but we rush into this and it goes badly for everyone. Chloe clearly tried something and it got her life erased. Do you want that at seventeen?"

She shook her head. "Of course not, but there has to be something more I can do for you and for this whole mess!"

"Keep letting me roll ideas off of you and be a good friend to Conner. That's all I ask, that and no going off half cocked, is that understood?"

Zoe narrowed her eyes at me but nodded. "Alright, but I'm not happy about it."

"You don't have to be happy; you have to not be next and Luthor's hitlist," I snapped, grabbing my laptop case. "Be smart Zoe, smarter than 'Anne Hatcher.' People who piss Lex off end up six feet under and you know that."

I was only just entering the desolate parking lot when Granny poofed into reality in front of me. "Kal-El, still using that little pigeon in there?"

Glaring down at her, I shook my head. "I'm not using her."

"Well turns out you learned enough mainly on your own, but giving her seeds to start Lex digging, how ruthless."

"That's not what I did," I defended, reaching my truck and opening my passenger door, placing the messenger bag on the passenger's seat.

"You're not a fool. You've seen that same kind of determination in Chloe before. You know Zoe won't ever stop now that she knows exactly what Lex has done, including putting her own heroine on the run for her life. Kal-El , how Machiavellian."

"I don't want her to do anything but make Conner feel happy, okay? I want him to feel he has really good friend in high school even if he started out a year ago last summer in a petri dish, okay? He deserves that!"

"If you say," she replied, touching my hand and suddenly I forgot why I was mad at her. "My son, you pick your allies so well. I do not usually take male Furies, but you know there's always an open invitation for Chloe and Conner by your side. The three of you-such power-with you, I can truly help bring the world the order it needs."

Sighing, I leaned against my truck. "Granny, I...you're sure that you and your girls, that if I were me again then all of us could make it so nothing ever happens on Earth like ended Krypton?"

"We could make war obsolete, Kal-El . All wars would be a thing of distant memory. Wouldn't that be nice?" She squeezed my wrist more tightly and I felt so warm and cared for, like around my mom but about a hundred times as strong. Why was I doubting Granny again? She wanted what was best for everybody.

"No one would die like my birth family?"

"Never again, Kal-El , and after we save this world we can move on, save the galaxy together. Wouldn't that be worthy or Superman's destiny?"

I nodded, not really caring about destiny as much as a whole galaxy where was was over, where there were no longer orphans like me. "And Chloe, Conner, and me? We'd always be together and helping you make this possible?"

She nodded. "Always. You could make the world so orderly for so many. Remember what you have to do?"

I nodded and smiled. "Get to Watchtower and find the Bow."

"Because it'll be the catalyst you need, Kal-El and then my master will reward us all."

"And no one will have to die ever again?"

She smiled and my own broadened. "Once we're done, it won't even be an option."

Conner and I were sitting down over pizza. It was two weeks after everything in the parking lot with Granny. I'd seen Chloe, been elated she'd finally told Lois her secret. You could see how less upset she was, how less weighed down she felt now. In fact, yesterday we'd had dinner and a movie with a retro screening of some film called His Girl Friday that Chloe had died laughing over. I saw mom and J'onn when they came in last weekend. I was working steadily at The Ledger and dodging Zoe's enthusiasm for Lex research. Life was just as it was and most of it was pretty damn good now that I didn't feel so confused and Chloe was giving us a chance.

But it wasn't what I wanted. I'd promised Granny and I owed it to them. Not to her or to the League or anyone who might have been a Blur fan, no. I owed it to them , my birth parents and family. If there was a way I could make Earth-Hell, the whole damn galaxy safe-I was gonna do it.

"Clark?"

"Yeah?" I asked, biting into a slice of extra pepperoni. "What's up?"

"I know I wanted you and Chloe dating, believe me, but you're all the way on like Krypton seriously making that moonie face. I know that you had a great date last night, but we can focus a little on just pizza and the Sharks?"

I nodded, playing into the fiction it was romance on my mind and not something bigger. "See, this is just...if my life really sucked the last few years-"

"It did, believe me and I only had Cliff's Notes."

"Right, well now it rocks."

"And all you had to do was lose your powers and your memory. That's pretty depressing actually."

"No, I just mean...I want this duty, Conner. When they finally break down and tell me, I'm going to ask to do what at least Lois does and Tess did do for the League."

"Like how that working for the League got Tess murdered?" Conner bit back. "Clark, after you lost your powers we tried to put you back on the front line and that was a fucking disaster. Chloe's never ever going to let you near danger again!"

"I can help people, Conner. I might not have powers and I might not be some supergenius, but I can still help the League if they'd let me. Hell, I'd love to just see the headquarters. I bet it's awesome!"

Conner snorted. "It's been six weeks since the base out of Metropolis was beaten all to Hell, Clark. The temp set up in Star City is modest at best and how are you supposed to get a peek?"

"Well when is the next time you and just Cassie have headquarters, um, Watchtower right?"

"Yeah we call it Watchtower."

"When is it just you two there?"

"Cassie doesn't-"

"Bullshit she doesn't know. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't tell her how much I really know and remember through that comic?"

Conner looked at me but blushed. Busted. "Okay she does know, Clark. We suck at keeping secrets from each other, but Chloe and Batman would have kittens if they knew we took you to the 'Tower. It's not like we don't have a security feed!"

"Does it go direct to the Bat Cave?" I asked, snorting.

"Yes and to Queen Industries' most secure server."

"We're geniuses...I was I mean. You could hack that feed well enough to loop it, do that Speed thing and they'd never know. Conner, you told me more than once I practically helped build the League from day one. Why can't I see it?"

"Because being in the League maimed the Hell out of you and you're a civilian."

"I'm a lot of things, but 'just a civilian' is never going to be one of them and you know that!"

"I-"

Setting down my pizza, I leaned across the table, playing every card I had. "We're alike, you and I. You mentioned how the League, even me, hid how Tess really died from you. They're hiding even more from me. Do all their lies make anything a damn bit better?"

"No."

"And if I start helping you, then Tess didn't die in vain, did she? I can still be something for the League and the world more than just 'Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter' even if it never is Superman, right?"

Conner swallowed hard and looked like he was going to cry. "Tess wouldn't have let them lie to you like this."

"If she were still alive, she'd have taken me by now, wouldn't she?"

"Yes."

"Then, brother, take me home."

Cassie was scowling at Conner when we zipped into the 'Tower four days later. He'd timed it so he arrived in her shift. Before she could say a word, Conner blurred around us both and I looked back at him when he appeared by the computer monitors.

"Is it done, Conner?"

He nodded. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"It's only fair," I replied, my laptop bag clutched to me. Inside was the golden cube with Kryptonian sigils on it. Instinctively, I knew I'd have to have it on me, in my hand, when I found the Bow of Orion. I wouldn't get but one chance to get the catalyst in it; Conner would realize he'd been played and I be in Kansas before I could blink if I fucked this up.

"Conner Kent! Your mom's gonna kill you! Hell, Batz is gonna kill you! I can't even get the monitors to un-jam."

"They won't for two hours. Clark asked to come."

"There's a big difference, Clark," she said, her tone icy. "Between knowing who you were and taking a field trip to a place civilians just don't belong."

I shook my head. "I was saving people, apparently, when you were still just six years old. I do not need a lecture from the Peanut Gallery."

"Maybe you do. Are you crazy? Chloe is gonna freak out when she realizes Conner brought you here."

I shrugged and started wandering to the sick bay. "Don't tell her. I know I'm not."

"I..." Cassie started, coming to stand next to me by the main exam table. "Clark, you aren't supposed to be here."

"They lied to me."

"You lied back, technically," Conner said.

I nodded and kept walking from the sick bay, through the monitoring station, and even through the sofa and small kitchenette. I wasn't just gonna stumble into the Bow. "I know it doesn't make it right but you're acting like Conner brought Lex Luthor himself to Star City. It's just me."

"This feels really shitty," she said.

"So does lying to an amnesiac," I countered. "I...now this might sound kind of fanboy but there has to be like a place you all keep the cool stuff."

"Cool stuff?" Cassie asked, her eyes narrowing at me.

"Yeah, the gear and weapons? Spare Bat suits or Green Arrow bows, that sort of thing?"

Conner shrugged and pressed a few numbers on what I thought was a thermostat by the kitchenette wall. I whistled when the whole wall slid back revealing spare costumes for every League member from Wondy to The Manhunter as well as more weapons a small army. "Holy Shit!"

Cassie nodded. "Yeah, I even have spare stuff here in case. This is DefCon 1 till our satellite is up in December. We even have some spare stuff for one of our mage's. Be careful around that shit; we can't explain if you end up a bunny or something."

"I'll be careful," I acknowledged, looking past the rows of dried herbs before finally settling on a large jar of dust. "What's this?"

Conner rolled his eyes. "That last of an all powerful universal weapon fucking Oliver Queen ruined by being a dick."

"Conner!" Cassie admonished.

"It's true. That's what's left of The Bow of Orion , one of the greatest weapons ever forged. He touched it when he was all hopped up on evil from that Darkseid thing and now it's pretty useless."

Nodding, playing ignorant, I took the jar down and set it on a case that contained an extensive collection of daggers and Far East weaponry. "But this was like the most powerful thing out there?"

"Against Big Bads?" Conner asked. "Yeah, it was even more powerful than us or Diana or J'onn. It was like the alpha and omega of weaponry."

"I just...how can this be all there is now? Why didn't anyone stop him?" I asked, picking the jar back up to put it away and faking a trip, wincing and getting to my knees apologetically when the glass shattered and the dust that had once been the Bow scattered everywhere.

Cassie was rushing for the broom and Conner the dust pan in that moment.

"Jesus, Con, Diana's gonna kill me!"

"I...we can sweep it up!" I hissed, already pulling out the cube. They'd be here any second to try and scoop up what was left of the Bow. I had to beat them. The second I slipped the cube out of the bag, I placed it on top of the largest pile of dust by my knees.

The cube began to glow, rising in intensity until I could barely look at it.

Turning instead to the side, I saw Cassie and Conner staring back at me. "Where did you get that?" she asked.

"A friend," I finished.

Conner started forward and she gripped his sleeve. "Don't, do you know what that's made of?"

"I?"

"It's Gold K, Conner. Don't get near it. Clark, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Making it right," I muttered, turning back to the cube, forcing my hand on top of it. There was a surge of energy through me so strong I thought for an instant I'd been electrocuted. It grew to a crescendo so high that I thought I'd melt apart with the power before it stopped, that Granny had been wrong and the transfer would just kill me outright.

When it finally stopped, when I finally was aware of my surroundings again, the sofas were on fire and Conner was blowing on them to put them out. Cassie surged on me and pushed me away, or at least she'd intended to. I grabbed her arm before she could reach me and held it in my grasp as tightly as I could. She started pulling back and her eyes widened when she realized she couldn't.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Granny appeared then, standing behind me. She patted my back and I'd never felt more pride. I mean it; I could feel hers spilling over into me, how pleased I'd made her. She was my mistress and I'd done well for her.

"Two prophets, now, Cassandra. Tell that to Chloe. Tell her we just need one more, that when we find him, we'll come for her and the Furies never ask you know."

"Ask what?" Conner shouted surging as close to the Gold K in my hands as he dared. It didn't affect me, not this box. It had made me whole again,stronger than I'd ever been, in fact. That much I could feel.

"To join them. When we prophets come back, you and Chloe will join the Furies, Conner."

"Or what?"

Granny smiled and whispered something in my ear. I nodded, happy to please her. We were going to do so much good for the world, for the whole galaxy together.

"Yes, Granny," I said, reaching out faster than Conner could follow and grabbing him by the neck, squeezing until he couldn't breathe. His heart raced and it confused me. He shouldn't be scared; he knew I wouldn't hurt my brother. I was getting him on our side. Him and me and Chloe forever with Granny, the way Tess should have been.

Family .

"Clark, god stop it," Cassie, said, digging into my hands. It was futile.

"Conner, brother, when I come back, join us. Furies don't ask you to join them more than once."

He couldn't speak but did widen his eyes in confusion.

I nodded and flung him hard across the room, shattering the monitors. "They kill you the second time instead."

Granny nodded and threaded her arm through mine and hissed something in a language far older and more foreign than even Kryptonian. The world flashed red and we were gone, off to find our third.


	45. Chapter 45

Being with Clark was so confusing.

Half of me took in the looks he gave me, that flat adoration and attraction, and reveled in it, pretending this was freshman year of high school and we were days away from Spring Formal. The other half, the seasoned and more bitter half who'd lived through not only the Lana and Lois-go-rounds but her own shit luck with Jimmy, just wanted to scream, to remind myself that this wasn't real. Clark had had to lose everything about himself-his powers, his memory, his fucking job and apartment even-to get us here. It didn't mean anything.

But whenever we were out on a date or just chilling at the farm, the fourteen year old part of me was just strong enough to keep the rest of me from bolting and pulling the rip cord. The truth was, no matter how we got here, this was where we were. Clark "The Blur" Kent might have been all up on my cousin seven months ago, but this wasn't that guy and, for good or ill, unless Z found a freaking miracle, the Clark in front of me was all the Clark we were ever gonna have.

Again, not like he was suddenly Rain Man or something. He wasn't enfeebled. In fact, the most disconcerting part of all of this, were the slivers of memories that were somewhere in his subconscious that even he didn't seem to know where there until they popped back up. Like tonight. Tonight I was allowing myself to sit on the sofa in Kent Farm with my head snuggled up under his chin, allowing myself to laugh at Cary Grant's wit and the farce unfurling onscreen. Fourteen year old Chloe was in control and telling the rest of me to shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride.

Then Clark did that thing he does now.

The credits were coming to an end and he reached for the remote to turn the set up back to regular television from DVD player. "I bet this was better than The Big Sleep ."

I blinked. The last time I'd seen that film was back in the winter after Lana had married Lex, actually a bit after that mess in the tunnels where Clark and Lex had almost been killed. It'd been a date with Jimmy.

"What?"

Clark set the dial to the TV Guide Channel so we could pick something mundane to eat to and shrugged. "Um, it's a Bogart film."

"I know what it is. I just..."

He sighed and looked down at me, adjusting his glasses as he did so. "I remembered something again?"

"Nothing exciting. I had a date once at The Planet where my first husband and I-way before we were even engaged, actually-where we watched it in his office together. I must have told you about it and it was just there?"

"Oh maybe I had a secret Bogart love you didn't know about," he countered, sighing. "I hate that."

"What?" I asked, sitting up straighter and looking at the scroll of pointless reality shows on the TV listings.

"I almost remembered something, even if I have fuck all idea how I did it, and you got very freaked out."

"I didn't freak."

"You closed down! I...sometimes you're amazing, Chlo, and you're really here with me."

"And sometimes?"

"Sometimes, you get that look and you're a million miles away again. I'm trying, I really am."

I sighed and set my chin in my hands. "It's not about you, exactly. It's just startling when you play the memory lane game. To be honest? I've tried not to think about Jimmy in a long time. He...my line of work got him killed, Clark. We weren't in a good place when he died. It was a flat out mistake to have ever married him and we were annulled in about two months and he was working on stealing money out of my apartment and harassing me over Facebook even after the legalities went through."

"You're kidding!"

I shook my head and frowned back at Clark. He looked like he'd pound the crap out of Jimmy if he ever got the chance. Rumble in the afterlife and all that. Of course, this Clark would still have the height and weight over Jimmy. Maybe he'd still have a shot.

"No, I'm really not. I...I felt so guilty that he died, that if my life wasn't dangerous and I weren't working with heroes then he'd still be alive. At the same time, he turned out to be a pretty horrible person. I mean, I know the stealing was for feeding a painkiller addiction and he only had that because he was injured by one of my enemies."

Clark nodded. "It doesn't make it right. He chose to be with you."

"He, uh, didn't know that I was an active hero type. He knew I'd had powers and they were currently gone when we were married. I...like I said, it was never really a good idea to marry him."

"Still, you can't think you deserved to be verbally abused and stolen from."

"I don't know. I drug him down into my life and he died. I...he died saving me. It might not balance every other shitty thing he did out, but it eats at me sometimes, if I let myself think about it. It's another reason why I wish you'd never realized exactly how Ollie and I knew each other, that I have a superhero gig of my own."

"Cause it's dangerous; I get that."

"No, you don't, Clark. I held Jimmy in my arms as he bled out from having a pipe shoved through his spine. You really don't get that my life isn't for other people."

He sighed and squeezed my hand. "And you don't get you have to have someone, right? You have to know that at some level. I mean 'Anne' and Oliver Queen got pretty far into being married. I gathered that much from E! and CNN News."

I blanched. "Oliver and I have a common mission. It helped draw us together, yes."

Of course, both of us having been burned by the great Clark and Lois love affair was a bigger reason-I was his other Lane, and Oliver was the only superhero I seemed capable of keeping. Again, a reason to find solace but not a stable foundation for a lasting marriage. We were with each other because we wanted someone else the entire time.

"But you didn't last. I...I get there was lightning or whatever but you guys pretty much called it quits. Not that I'm complaining," he clarified, kissing my cheek. "Still, why didn't you and Ollie stay clicked?"

I sighed. "Because I've always been in love with someone else. I was in love with him when I dated and married Jimmy and it was a huge reason we got annulled. I was in love with him the entire time I dated Oliver and I couldn't say 'yes' in front of the fucking priest, no less, when Oliver wasn't the one I loved the most."

"Me, you mean. You meant me."

I swallowed and dared to look up at him. "I was in love with you from the day we met in middle school and obviously it started as a middle school crush. Then it grew and I just couldn't get over you. I was pretty nasty in high school, well parts of it. I was fifteen and bitchy and cruel and I never wanted to be that again so I've always supported you with Lana and Lois, even with Alicia."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and I tried so hard not to love you the way I did. I tried everything and no matter how hard I tried to make myself love Ollie or Jimmy, they just weren't you."

"Do you still feel that way?" he asked, his hand clammy around mine.

"I loved Clark Kent, my friend since I was thirteen. I care about you very much. I just...it's so hard when I look at you and expect to talk about this one time with Pete or after your mom became a senator or when I first got my powers or whatever and it's just. Not. There."

"I know, but, I dunno, maybe this has its perks."

"The lobotomized version?" I huffed, wishing I could take it back when he winced.

"Yeah. I...I get the feeling that even if all the feelings I have now were there then."

"Even?" I said and my voice was shriller than I'd have liked.

"No, I said that wrong," he corrected, gathering me into his arms and I let him.

"With you and mom and Conner, even if I don't remember-remember, I feel good. I feel that we're connected? I...I just like you all a lot off the bat. More than like really. I love and want to protect mom and Conner even if I don't have the memories to go with it. Feel the same way about you just, um, less family, more something more."

"I-"

"I feel that way. I think that hasn't changed between me before and me now. I just...I get the impression with my life I was too busy to listen to this. I sounded super busy, um, with Lois and the reporting thing and other stuff."

I frowned; he was floundering a little over talking about his busy life. I just...I felt like it meant more than what he was saying. "Yeah, you were definitely busy."

"But I had to have felt this before. I'm glad I got rebooted if it gave us a chance and we didn't get locked into things with Mr. Queen and Lois, respectively, that we weren't really meant for. I hope I was a good enough friend."

Sometimes Clark was a down right shitty friend. That horrible year I'd been Big Sister and he'd been a fucking terrorist came to mind. He'd also been amazingly myopic when I'd lost my dream job for his sake and all he could do was yell at me for not hacking fast enough to cure Lana. We'd always had our ups and downs, and when Clark was distracted by another woman, I tended to get the ugly step sister treatment.

"Mostly, yeah. We all make our mistakes."

"Chlo?"

I sighed. "A lot of things but, you did the best you could, Clark."

"Why do I not believe that?"

"Okay, I've made my mistakes and you had your moments, but you were there for a lot of things-problems with my mom, my own mutation, just so much. Thank you."

He nodded but still frowned. "Well, I'm here now, Chloe. If you ever think I'm not paying enough attention or taking your for granted, just be honest. God, Chloe, be honest with me."

Again, something more in that, something more than just what we'd been discussing. "I will be."

He sighed and huddled in on himself a little. "Hope so, Chloe, I hope so."

I was sitting in my office at The Journal when my cell rang.

My cell. Not the company phone I carried, but my personal cell. The Imperial March ringing out on it left my heart racing.

Bruce.

Bruce wouldn't call me at two on a Thursday.

Bruce never called me ever.

Activating my cell, I brought it to my ear as well. "Watchtower here."

Gravelly voice in all its glory: "Star City, now. I've already a jet waiting for you at the airport. You need to be here now."

I was too scared to crack a joke at another Alfredism in Bruce's speech. "Batman, what's wrong?"

"It's Clark and it's everything you'd think I'd call you about."

I wasn't hearing this. I was not sitting in the Watchtower set up in Queen Towers hearing this. I was not seeing Conner bruised all to Hell, bruised because of Clark , explaining that Clark had played him. I wasn't sitting here, in fucking Star City, while Clark could be with Granny Goodness in Timbuktu for all I knew recruiting the final prophet to make Darkseid rise again.

I was not.

"You did what?" Bruce demanded, pacing, his cape trailing behind him.

"Conner brought Clark here, okay? We've done this five times, Batman," Cassie answered.

Diana, off to Bruce's side just glared at her protege.

"You both knew after his riding accident that Clark knew too much, was regaining memory to an extent even if it was via his comics. You had a responsibility to tell all of us Cassandra."

Conner glared back at me, his eyes red with heat vision. "Why? We'd have come to you, Diana, or to Chloe or Oliver and you'd all tell us to lie to him, to lead him around on a leash. You were never going to tell him a goddamn thing were you?"

I blanched. Bruce, Diana, and Oliver always said if Clark, himself, started to remember, we'd have to reevaluate everything. I'd nodded and agreed to it, having no intention of doing it. "I wasn't, no. But you're League first. You had a duty to tell us if he were doing things like, oh, I don't know, running around with Darkseid's lead prophet!"

Conner's eyes dimmed a little but did not return to brown. "You made the calls the entire time, Chloe. You didn't want to tell him who he'd been. We agreed. You tied my hands so I couldn't be honest with my brother, the only real blood family I have left since Tess died, and I agreed. You can't blame me for this. I had no clue Granny had been meeting with him."

"You knew a civilian wanted Watchtower access," Bruce countered. "You knew that there was no logical reason to help him create his comic, let alone open the access panel to the weapons chamber. That was beyond helping a sibling. That was idiocy."

"Sorry, Batz. Didn't know he needed some space dust to become super again!" Conner snapped. "Also," he added, glaring now at Oliver. "I didn't turn the Bow of Orion to nothing in the first place. We all lied to each other on so many things and this is what happened. I should have told you about Clark's memories but we never should have tried sheltering him to start with. It's all a mistake."

"Mistake?" Oliver asked. "Conner, Cassie, do you get what's going to happen? All they need is a third and to get people to that Omega level of depression again. It's not that hard. She was doing a great job with Godfrey just yammering over the radio and the VRA being used for her purposes. Now? Now she fucking as 'Superman' or would-have-been working for the wrong goddamn side."

Lois, who'd flown with me from Metropolis, stiffened beside me. "What?"

"Think about it, Lo," Z added. "Before it had to be a lot of fear and anger and hate done subtly, done with blaming the vigilantes. Now it doesn't. People are already confused over the loss of The Blur, as much as they like Batz and Wondy. They feel betrayed. He comes back and half of them will go all hero worship crazy. The other half, once they see the new regime and his new, clearly gonna be more violent M.O.?"

"They're gonna emulate him," I finished.

Lois shook her head. "No! It's Clark. He wouldn't!"

Cassie held up her hand so that we could all see the finger-sized bruises ringing her wrist. Despite myself, I eyed the matching collar of coloration around Conner's neck. "He did and he would again. Granny's spent who knows how long, at least two weeks since he came out to Conner, probably longer, brainwashing Clark. He's not there right now."

"What do you mean?" Diana asked.

"She means," Conner answered. "That, yeah, he remembers stuff at least but she warped it. He really thinks he's doing good things. I can't explain it. He was smiling when he left here and just waiting for me and Chloe to join him on Team Fury!"

"Well," Cassie added. "Why wouldn't he? Granny's a witch and she's been poisoning his mind and it's NOT like any of us were around to say: Watch out for her, she's working for the same type of evil that made Nazi Germany a hellhole!"

I flinched. "I know."

"No, you don't, Chloe because-"

Enough! J'onn shouted in all our heads. Enough! It doesn't matter whose fault this is. It is all of ours. It only matters that Granny's plans are far underway and she only has to get a third before she can start working on summoning Darkseid. We barely drove him back last time and right now? We're in a mental state they can exploit-that doubt, that anger. We have to let it go or we won't be far behind Clark.

Ollie nodded. "I've been there. You don't wanna go, feel that kind of despair and hate. You just don't. So what can we actually do that's proactive?"

Z looked at Diana. "I need to go to Islands. I need that, my dad's books, and access to whatever we have left of the Bow. I...if there's any way to utilize what we have left, it'll be on those cave walls."

Then I'll go with you, J'onn said. I can read it. Z, Diana and I there.

Bruce nodded. "I'll start working on suspects they may approach to be the final prophet. Granny's to warp minds and Clark's clearly De Saad's replacement. We'll need to start looking to people who can influence the spirit, people like Godfrey."

"Low life talk show hosts?" Lois snapped. "I can help you on that. I know a lot of the guys out there in the media who have a lot of hot air to blow. Dinah and I both can bring up the research on that."

Ollie nodded. "Good. The guys and I will split up and start searching known Granny hideouts. Watchtower?"

I blinked. "Just Chloe."

"Chloe, then, you and Cassie and Conner...start pouring through Carter's journal and any records the JSA had on when Darkseid rose in the 1940s. If there's a way to detox someone from being a prophet, we're gonna need it."

I nodded, my throat dry.

Of course there wasn't a way to stop this. Granny had wanted it all along. Clark had been her Plan A and Plan B. Either she'd take Superman out of the fight completely and win with Godfrey and De Saad at her side or she'd use Clark as she saw fit until he could be made to take De Saad's place in a new attempt to raise her Lord.

Either way, now that Granny fully had him, she was never gonna let him go.

My hands were shaking.

Everyone had split to do their part. Z and her group wouldn't be going to the United Kingdom until tomorrow morning. It gave J'onn and Conner time to explain what was happening to Martha. They'd not asked me to come, and I was glad for that. My cells were both off. I had no interest in getting an "I told you so" message from the Red Queen.

Cassie and Diana were using tonight to pour through Carter's personal journal, looking for any clues about other options the JSA had used in Germany. I promised to be in the JSA archives, doing something similar. But that was stupid, wasn't it?

I didn't need to look to the past, did I?

All I needed was to look to the future.

I didn't want to. Last time I'd put on the Fate Helmet I'd seen so much, including all my friends in a lab, the fire at Cadmus, and Clark and Lois's perfect future. Last time I'd put on the helmet, it had confirmed what I'd always feared and what I'd suspected so hard my last full year in Metropolis-I was obsolete.

Replaceable.

That for as much as I loved and needed Clark, he didn't fucking need me.

Considering what my lies had done to him, I can't say the Fate Helmet was wrong. Still, I steadied my hands and reached out for the helmet, lifting it up off its stand and noting how it felt heavier than ever.

"Show me what Granny's planning, how to stop her!"

The images were flashing through me so fast then and they were enough to make me vomit-New York, Metropolis, D.C., Star City and Gotham in flames with thousands of people, Omegas glowing brightly on their foreheads, looting the remains; Darkseid, his true nature revealed through the black eyes of its host, sitting at the head of the JLA table, waiting for Bruce, Oliver and I to surrender control; Clark cutting a swath of his own across Metropolis until Conner interrupted him. A fight, the snap of bone, and even from the visions not sure which brother killed the other.

Myself.

Myself, Granny, and Mad Harriet. Granny laughing as Mad Harriet's talons tore into me, saying we could see how many times I resurrected until I finally gave up and joined their guard.

The pain, my screams, everything.

Screaming, I tore the helmet off my face and dropped it to the floor. I didn't know how to stop this, didn't know if I could stop this. We were strong, but so was Granny and she had the most powerful being in the world working for her now. God, if what Conner and Cassie thought was true, Clark was stronger now than he'd ever been.

We were so fucked.

"Chloe."

Swallowing, refusing to die on my knees, I stood back up from where I'd fallen under the helmet's onslaught. When I turned my head toward the main table of the JSA, I gasped. Clark was standing there, and where he'd gotten the jeans and trench coat he'd worn during our awful year, I didn't know. Maybe he'd just been told by Granny to approximate the look and gotten new things from the flea market.

"Clark."

He nodded but didn't move, just stood at the table frowning back at me. "Don't be scared."

"I'm not."

He quirked his head at me and then pointed at his ear. "I can hear you. I...I can hear everything. I know I wrote about it and asked Conner what it feels like, what it's really like to be Kryptonian but you can't describe this, can you?"

"I guess not." I honestly didn't know. I didn't remember having been powerful with Brainiac's infection.

He nodded. "You are scared." He frowned and his bangs fell in his face. "Are you scared of me?"

"Yes."

He flinched but still remained where he was. "Why?"

I laughed, a short bitter sound. "You're Granny Goodness's chief minion, Darkseid's prophet, and I just had the Fate Helmet tell me you're going to bring on Armageddon. Why wouldn't I be afraid?"

He was there then and, for the first time in years, I startled. Fucking superspeed.

Clark reached out and placed his hand under my chin. I complied. I wasn't sure if I could be killed, if with my healing returned that he could actually murder me. I figured it was best not to upset him, to comply. I might live long enough to tell the League what I'd foreseen.

"Chloe, don't. I'd never...not you."

"Really? You did a number on Conner!"

"No, I...I'd never hurt him. He just has to understand. You both do. It's good. What Granny wants is good."

I snorted, but stayed stone still. "Darkseid, Clark. Conner says he mentioned it to you. You're working for fucking Satan or the extraterrestrial equivalent."

"But that's not...he'll bring order, Chloe. So much chaos here, so much pain. Darkseid...everyone will follow him, listen to him, and then there won't be any pain anymore. No one will die like my birth family."

"After the purge," I spat.

"There doesn't have to be a single death. I promise. Granny promises. We just ask allegiance. From you, the League, humanity. Everyone just has to listen and Granny and Darkseid will take care of the rest."

"Like he did in Nazi Germany? Or when Rome burned or with the Plagues in Europe? Clark, it's a lie."

He dropped his hand then and glared back at me, eyes russet. "You'd know about those, wouldn't you? I still don't remember anything from the day Granny took my memories. I...she explained about that...but I forgive her because she knows what's best and because I like who I am now. Conner said I used to be miserable."

"Conner's an idiot! Also, you're brainwashed, you idiot."

He laughed and it was rich and throaty, the way it always was when he was high on Red K. "No, I found a purpose, Chloe, a family. Come with me, please. Granny doesn't know I'm here."

"Bullshit."

He shook his head and then cupped my cheek. "She doesn't. She's off hunting for our third. Yes, of course she wants you and your abilities. I want you because I love you. I can't be enough without you."

"I'm not joining Team Evil!"

He leaned down and kissed me and, God, all of me let him, not just that fourteen year old buried deep inside me. Pulling back, he laughed again, his hot breath on my cheeks. "It's not evil. It's order, Chloe. Don't you want that? A reason for everything, a world where people like Lex will get what they deserve. He's first on the list, the man who fired you, who hurt you, who drove you underground."

"How do you-"

"I can piece things together very well."

Too fucking well.

"No, it's wrong," I said, raising the glow in my hand. "This is wrong, Clark. I'm not going to join them...I...come home; we'll tell you anything you ask, I promise this time. A real start. I...Conner and Martha are so worried."

He stepped back then and shook his head, the trench coat flaring out behind him. "I chose my side, Chlo. I won't hurt you and Conner, I'd never do that."

"You already did."

"I won't kill you then," he corrected. "But I have my mission now, my purpose. I think I've floundered all my damn life for that, Chloe, but I know now and she makes it so easy. There's no doubt at all."

God that'd be nice.

But if you stopped doubting, you started acting automatically, started letting someone else think for you. I could never allow that.

I controlled me, damn it.

Shaking my head, I started to the exit. "Clark, we both know you could follow me. Just don't. I won't violate everything I believe in, even for us. I can't love you if you stand with her."

"You can't stop, you said so yourself. I'll be waiting for you, Chloe."

There was a breeze and then nothing at all. I didn't feel safe till Lois let me into her apartment and we both got out every stash of Kryptonite she had, and even then, I couldn't sleep.

When I closed my eyes, all I saw was blood.


	46. Chapter 46

I was sitting on the top of The Daily Planet building, watching the globe spin. Honestly? I hadn't expected Chloe to reject my offer or Conner, for that matter. We were family. I'd forgiven them. It was really okay that they'd lied to me. Everything was fine now; I had my abilities and they had theirs and we could bring something great to life.

Why would they refuse?

God, why would Chloe be scared of me? The way her heart was pounding, the hitching in her breath...I'd never hurt her, not ever. I'd die before I let anything happen. Even with Conner, well, yes I had been rough on him but he had to understand the choices that were here. He was my blood, my only family left with Kara disappeared. He was Tess's last bit of family. Neither Granny nor I wanted him dead, just on our side.

I'd been patient long enough. It seemed like over the last six or so months, my life had been about waiting. Waiting to figure out how to live depowered and then waiting for when my memory would come back. Hell, waiting for anyone to tell me what I really was, what I was supposed to be. At least that last part was finally done. I had my abilities back and I know I didn't remember my life before the day of Chloe and Oliver's wedding, I got that, but I'd never felt anything like this.

Like I'd told Chloe, Conner had tried to explain it. My own imagination had tried to grasp it when describing what life was like for Det. Ellis, but it wasn't at all enough. I could hear everything-the heartbeats of eight million people in Metropolis, the grasshoppers chirping throughout the fields in Smallville, the overture for a Wagner opera over a thousand miles away in Gotham-it was all coming to me and my mind was filtering it out, but still aware of it on some level. Right now, I was focusing on Chloe's heartbeat, on the sound that had come to me first when my powers were returned. Like I said, it was hammering so hard and that was because of me.

She had to know I'd never kill her. Even if Granny told me to, I'd never do that, and Granny wouldn't want that. My family was special; they'd get it. Granny wanted order and a world where there was justice, where technicalities didn't happen in the legal system and where no wars were waged. Wasn't it similar to what the League said they wanted?

Sighing, I forced my hearing to fade out on her. I couldn't listen to her scared like, couldn't know it was because of me, and not feel terrible. It was just the first day. She'd learn. I'd make them see I was right this time. Nothing that felt this certain, this good , nothing like that could be wrong.

There was a flash of red light by my peripheral vision and I stood instantly, my duster flaring behind me. Granny was back from her search for our third. Bowing my head to my mistress, I swallowed. "Granny, I-"

Her hand was on my cheek than and I felt her again, her feelings toward me. The pride was muted a bit and she must have been disappointed I'd gone to see Chloe without her permission. Still, there was warmth there and concern. It felt like home, like I bet it would have felt if Krypton were still real, if I had my birth parents to go home to. It was like with Martha Kent but so intoxicating I could barely breathe.

"Kal-El, you disobeyed me."

Sighing, I backed away from her and dared to look her in the eyes. "I had to see Chloe. I...she said no."

Granny didn't yell but, instead, grabbed my left hand and squeezed it. I felt some what better but it couldn't dim the pain I felt thinking about Chloe, about a possible world where we were enemies. "She's not ready yet. I told you, it might take time to get her to our side. I want her. She'll be everything Tess would have been and more, but she'll take the most convincing."

"Conner wouldn't come either."

"But he wants to, wants to be with his brother. He's young and always easy to sway. We'll have them."

I nodded and looked back out to the skyline of Metropolis, lit in reds at sunset. Something trickled through my mind, like with my comic, and I sighed, still hating I'd never remember anything solid again, that my life before was flashes at best I'd never understand. "It's beautiful this time in the evening."

"It is. This is what Krypton's sky always looked like in the day."

"I think so."

She stepped forward to be shoulder to shoulder with me. "I know it was; I saw it once, though it was not a planet I was overly familiar with."

"Chloe says that what we're working for, that Darkseid brought on Nazi Germany. Is it true?"

"I have not always chosen my prophets well. Hitler had promise as one to corrupt their spirits but he went off plan."

"And Nero?"

"Perhaps not stable enough. What Darkseid and I want is very simple-allegiance, a world where everyone agrees. My Lord will make all the decisions, all the rules and the rest need merely follow. That's the only step. Things like the camps in Germany...they were not in the original plan. If humans agree to work under us, to obeyDarkseid, then nothing need happen."

"You promise."

"Always. We want order. Slaughter is messy and needless. I'm not saying we wouldn't purge, if we had to, but I am saying it's not preferable."

I stilled. "But if I convinced people not to revolt, to go with you?"

"Not one drop, as long as there's compliance. Doesn't that sound fair?" she asked, grazing my cheek with her fingers and I nodded. Granny was always right after all.

"Yes. I...forgive me, Granny."

"For?"

"I have to know. I have feelings and they're always right, even if I have no idea where they come from. I just..."

"What?"

"You're the reason I can't remember anything, aren't you? Mad Harriet said so, said that all the girls felt so much better after meeting you because you took the pain from their old families, from all the foster homes. You made them forget."

"Kal-El-"

"You made me forget," I said, still staring at the russet sky.

"I did. Your life broke you, you know. All the things your 'father' Jor-El did to make you better, your human friends and family who couldn't quite understand you, the pressure to be perfect as The Blur. You were so very broken by last May. I remade you."

"By taking my powers and then myself."

"I took the powers because I was hoping to have my master rise earlier and you couldn't be allowed to interfere. You earned them back."

Her voice was sweet, melodious, and I smiled despite myself at her praise. "My memory? Can you bring it back?"

"It is not within my power. I can take memories, but I cannot give them back. You are as you are, but, I have to be honest, do you want a life where you force yourself to wallow in guilt for your human father's death? Or a life where funerals have followed you almost yearly since college? Do you want to remember every miss, every time you couldn't save someone? Do you want to remember a childhood growing up terrified of labs and unable to sleep at night?"

"I sleep."

"Yes but even now, even as stripped as you are, with a night light. I saw what you had up here," she said, gesturing to my temple. "You screamed some time all night as a child before they got you a light, from being shut up in your ship."

I shuddered. "Memories make a person who they are."

"You sound like you're reciting a poem, something by rote. Do you want that pain first hand again? I can't give it to you but if I could, would you rush back for all that guilt and self-loathing and failure?"

I shook my head. "No. Conner says I'm happier than he'd ever seen me before or, you know, I was when Chloe and I were dating."

"She'll come."

"I hope," I said quietly. "I saw the photo albums myself. This last year or two, all the pictures with my mom in D.C.?"

"Yes?"

Finally I turned to her and frowned. "I looked like I was dying, piece by piece. I don't think I'd smiled in years, not genuinely. I don't want to be that man."

"You're not. You're better now. You're mine and I'll protect you, make sure you never have to suffer again. Let me make the plans, Kal-El, and soon your family will be by your side. Soon, Superman will be all the world needs him to be."

"Chloe-"

Granny narrowed her eyes at me and something dark and crimson flashed in them. I quieted myself instantly. Insolence was bad; I wanted her to approve of me, no matter what. "She's not everything and she'll take time, but, Kal-El, it's almost time."

"I don't understand?"

"We'll get what you need from the Fortress and then we'll collect our third."

"The what?"

"Your father, the artificial intelligence that came with your ship. I'll take you there and you'll have your suit. Like I said, it's almost time for you to be what you can be to the world."

"I...no."

She laughed and hugged me. "You misunderstand, my son. We're taking back what you need. Feel free to tear the rest of it to the ground. Jor-El brought your burdens, many of them. So make him pay."

Warmth again, peace.

Standing back up, I smiled and felt my eyes flash with heat. "Yes, Granny, I think I'd like that."


	47. Chapter 47

"Chlo, honey, you're gonna need to eat something to keep up your energy," Lois said, setting out some Corn Flakes and milk. Lois was like me, she wasn't a cooker so, if I had had an appetite, it was definitely the safest food option than eggs a la Lane.

Sighing, I reached instead for the coffee pot and poured a large cup. Taking a sip, I added, "I can't eat. I just...you don't want to know."

Lois frowned and set the Green K between us on the table. I'd have to go with her to Smallville to pick up some supplies. I hadn't had to keep Green K around in a while so I'd gotten out of the practice of it. I know that sounds mean and I love Clark, really I do, but when he was just himself (and didn't that feel like years ago), he had a terrible track record. There was always magic or mind control or some other reason I had to be saving him from himself or from hurting even his mom and dad. Still, after he'd become mortal, I'd shed myself of the Kryptonite stashes, figuring some spare items in Watchtower would be enough (or Diana and Cassie for that matter) should Conner ever go rogue.

Now we'd need every piece we could get and the League would have to pack, even work something up to shield pieces so they could be kept near Conner.

"You didn't sleep."

"I tried."

"But you didn't. I get it. After Clark went all Cullen on you, even I had a hard time getting any rest last night, but I did. Chloe, you look like shit."

Nodding, I sipped my drink. "I went to the JSA yesterday."

"I know. You did that while Dinah and I started pooling our Godfrey 2.0 list and the Amazons were reading Carter's journal over again."

"No, you don't understand. I didn't go for the archives."

Lois frowned and started to pour out cereal at least for herself. "The Fate Helmet."

It wasn't a question.

"We don't need to look backwards. There can't be a way to free Clark. Granny has him where she wants him and she's a far better witch than Z is a wizard. There's only one way this is going to end."

"What did you see?"

I pushed my coffee aside, now no longer able to swallow, not while I thought about what I'd seen. "Blood, a lot of it. They're going to do everything we're afraid of."

"But what you saw last time? It wasn't always true was it?"

"I saw what the VRA wanted to do and, yeah, before I told Clark where to find her, I flat out saw Tess burn."

"So it can change."

"But I saw so much that did happen just like I thought it would-your engagement, where Ollie was being held, the way the VRA set up their mind control. We can probably stop some things, but this is going to get bloody. I don't care what Clark said."

"Said?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he says that granny doesn't want to purge and I'm sure it's not as fast and easy as scaring people into submission, but she's...the streets ran red, Lois."

My cousin shivered. "They don't have to anymore than the Suicide Squad kept Oliver or the VRA trapped us, okay? We just need to think."

I shrugged and looked back towards Blue on her kitchen's window ledge. "Granny's got Clark high out of his mind and convinced she's part June Cleaver and part the second coming. He's really bought her lies completely. He says he wouldn't...that it's not what he wants...but if she did ask him, I don't doubt he'd kill for her."

"You can't just be resigned to this. If you'd been that way last time you wore the Fate Helmet, then we'd have been toast!"

"Does it even matter, Lo? The second he kills someone, even if we can snap him out of it, he'd never be the same after."

"Then, we don't let him touch anyone. She's got the Blur? We've got Wonder Woman and Wondergirl, Superboy, The Batman, Green Arrow, and the Martian Manhunter and that's just our A roster . We can fight this."

"I failed."

Lois shook her head and then grabbed my shoulders. "You can't sink too. You heard Oliver. Hell, you know better than anyone how hard he fell with this. J'onn's right. We start to doubt ourselves or fight with each other and we're done; we'll be Omega'ed too. Chloe, you've never quit anything in your life. This would be a shit time to start now."

"I've quit a lot of things. You just didn't see me do it."

"Is this about the DP? Cause you'll be back there some day and you're kicking ass at The Journal and before at The Register."

"I gave up on Clark and me so many times," I admitted. "There's been a lot of times I should have fought and I just rolled over and took it."

Lois paused then and eyed Z's collection of toadstool and herbs on the counter. "That's not what matters now. Who ended up with who really doesn't matter at all. When the big things happen, when the League collapsed or I was missing or the VRA was gunning for us, you didn't give up. This is like that."

Sighing, I stood up and set my cup in the sink. "I'll try but you didn't see it. I did. We're globally fucked, and there's not a lot we can do about it. As strong as we are, even together, you have to be able to do enough math that Granny, the Furies, and Clark are stronger. You add in a final prophet and Omega'ed humans, not to mention Darkseid himself, eventually. We don't have a lot of options."

"Well rolling in blame's not gonna help at all, cuz," she said, grabbing her jacket and keys. "I'm taking you to where you can get your own Green K stash and then you have to snap out of this. We don't make this about stopping Granny."

"We don't?"

She shook her head, long hair cascading off her shoulders. "We get Clark back. I don't care how much she's hocus pocused his brain. We get him away from her and Z works on a cure. Hell, has out of it as he is, he's still more interested in listening to and pleasing you than Granny Goodness."

I snorted. "So I'm the ace in the hole because what's left of Clark thinks he loves me?"

Lois stilled and quirked her head at me. "Chloe, to be honest, and I have a terrible track record of noticing things, but I think he was always in love with you."

I didn't have anything to say to that.

I had a lot to say when she dropped me off at Wayne Towers in downtown Metropolis.

"Are you serious?"

"Bruce has more Kryptonite than you've ever had."

I blinked. "Clark wasn't even powered when they met!"

"It's Bruce and he's paranoid and all he did need to know what Conner was half Luthor."

I rolled my eyes. "That's judgmental."

"And totally The Batman. It's like a Kryptonite boutique up there, behind lead of course. Pick your favorite collection and get something with a nutritional value, Chloe. You know those of us who can are reconvening back at Star City tomorrow. I mean Diana, Z, and J'onn will be trying to have any luck they can in the British Isles, but the rest of us...we have to get to Clark and Granny before they find the third."

Sighing, I unclipped my belt and hugged my cousin. She was trying; I just wish I had her faith. "Fine, but at least tell me Mein Fuhrer is out."

"Chloe," a deep voice rumbled behind my head and I gritted my teeth. "Why don't you come up now to my penthouse."

Smiling, faking everything for what people passed by us, I stepped out from the car. "Bruce Wayne, pleasure. The Journal is beyond thrilled to be able to interview you."

Bruce smiled, that look of is as well practiced as my reserve smile, one that didn't meet his eyes at all if you were really looking. "Miss Hatcher, please follow me."

I was half-impressed and half-sickened by the stash Bruce had. It was far bigger than what I'd once had for the Kandorians and I had to admire his forethought, that he was prepared enough for all of the League to have more than enough materials to use against Clark. At the same time, knowing he'd stockpiled this for one teenage boy really pissed me off. After I'd picked a few large chunks and set them inside of a lead-lined box and, yes, selected a ring that hid the green K in a lead sheath unless that sheath was retracted.

Bruce took a seat at his desk as I stayed standing, glaring across the mahogany at him. "You seem upset."

"This is for Conner. He's seventeen."

"He's a Luthor with infinite power, I don't forget these things. I was there at Excelsior and I'm quite clear about what Lionel was capable of. You know I'm more than familiar with what Lex did while I was abroad. That's in him. Besides, you still are judging me unfairly."

"Am I?"

He nodded. "You think that store is just for Conner. It was always for Clark. I started the day I came to Metropolis, once I could get to Lowell County in person."

"He was human-"

Bruce shook his head. "He was muted. It more than occurred to me that if Granny could take his abilities that one day she might restore them. Besides, from what you'd mentioned to me already in Gotham, I knew Clark had a habit of regaining his powers."

"You knew this time was different."

Bruce shrugged. "I knew that my world was drastically different after meeting you, that what I'd heard about all over the world, those glyphs, had something they were based in. You told me there was an all powerful alien out there and his weakness and expected me not to collect?"

"I...Clark's not like that."

"He is now and Conner's not above reproach. Don't act holier than thou. Oliver told me what the JLA budget two years ago went to."

I sighed. "The Kandorians aren't Clark."

"The Clark we're facing isn't the Clark you all have worked with. You know that."

"I just...it feels terrible."

"It's nothing you haven't done."

"Maybe that's why it feels terrible, that if I could bear to do it, I would have done the same thing."

He nodded. "Lois texted me before you came over as well. I need to know everything, in detail, about what you saw. I'd put on the helmet myself, but..."

"You know it can drive people insane."

"No need to risk two of us and you seem to deal well with it, perhaps because of your gift."

"Maybe," I said, adding nothing else to my reply.

"You have to tell us everything. There's no holding back now, no protecting feelings. We tried that-"

"And Clark broke bad on us, I'm aware."

He nodded. "What did you see?"

"Darkseid is coming and we're going to kneel to him; it's just a matter of time."

I felt dirty after leaving Bruce's and going back to my hotel room in Granville. I should have just gone straight to Star City but Bart or Conner or even Cassie would just be my shuttle service in the morning. It was a perk of knowing a ridiculous amount of people with flight, super speed, or both at once. Still, telling Bruce everything I'd seen, all I knew Clark would and could be made to do, it felt like a betrayal. I didn't know what he'd suggest tomorrow among the full League meeting and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. Bruce wasn't a killer, never had been, and his willingness to stick to certain lines had cost him Rachel. He'd bent it a bit on the technicality that Granny was alien when he'd tried killing her. I wondered how far he'd bend that for Clark, assuming that one could even permanently kill Clark and, to be honest, even I wasn't sure he could be killed.

I didn't want to live in a world where I was weighing options to save the planet and the number one point was if it was physically possible to murder the man I loved and my best friend since middle school.

When I opened my door, I almost screamed. Then my visitor stepped out from the shadows of the curtains and I realized how much shorter and narrower he was than Clark. Different Kryptonian.

"Conner?"

He nodded and sat down on my bed. "I didn't know where else to go."

"J'onn and Martha-"

"They know I came here. I wasn't gonna worry them. Besides, I know someone has to get you to the new Watchtower digs tomorrow morning."

"Why aren't you in D.C. though or with at least Cassie and Diana?"

"Mom's crying pretty hard. I think she just needed a night to get herself together and it was just...I can't see her like that. It's mom. I mean, yeah, I'm new but she's still been taking care of me since about March and she's always in charge, always knows what to do next. I can't see her collapsed like that because then, I'd do it and none of us can fall apart right now."

I nodded, thinking of Martha, of what she'd lost. If Bruce suggested what I figured he was going to tomorrow, she had yet more to lose.

I sighed and sat down next to him, placing one hand on his shoulder and rubbing wide circles there. He was taller than I was, not that that was saying much, but so much smaller than Clark and probably always would be. Even so, even with all that was Luthor in his appearance, the way he held himself there was so painfully Clark-that hunch of shoulders, that inability to make eye contact. It was Kent self-flagellation 101.

"Conner, it's going to be okay."

"You don't believe that."

"I've been in more apocalypses than I can count by now. I've always saved the day."

"No, you and Clark have always saved it as a team. This is different."

"And I have you and the League and Diana and Bruce."

"Granny doesn't lose. She's played us for months."

I blinked. Wasn't this what I was telling Bruce and Lois earlier today. When had I suddenly been promoted to the team's Pollyanna. "We always win because we're the good guys."

He snorted. "We've really sucked at being them this last month or so. We should have told him." There wasn't accusation this time as there had been yesterday, just resignation.

"I couldn't, Conner. It was probably selfish but I couldn't be the one to tell him he wasn't human."

"Not that bad a thing to be," he added, sniffling a little.

Nodding, I kept rubbing his shoulder. "I know but he just...everything drug him down so hard. He hated being Kryptonian in some ways so much. I didn't want to shackle him and I did it wrong; I'm sorry."

"Are Bruce and Diana going to kill him?"

"I won't vote for that."

"Would Bruce do it on his own. Some days he only half considers himself even a consultant."

"I won't let anyone touch Clark. I...we'll figure this out. Somehow, we'll figure this out."

"You know, if it came down to it, even for the world, I couldn't, Chlo. He's my family. With Kara poofed to who knows when and Tess dead, he's it. Fuck Lex. Clark's all I have left by blood. I'd never touch him."

I shuddered and paused just a second, hearing the crack of bone snapping in my head again. I knew now who was going to win. Clark was warped enough to do anything to please Granny, save maybe kill me and even I wasn't betting on that. Conner had a line. If the two met, Conner wouldn't survive it.

Maybe Bruce...

No.

No, that wasn't true.

"We would never ask that of you."

"Maybe," Conner said quietly, finally looking back at me. "Can I wake up now? Can we just go back to this summer before you got married and Granny hadn't started toying with him?"

"Kara took our only ring."

"Figure of speech. I just...don't ask me to kill him, Chloe. I won't."

I sighed. "I wouldn't and even Diana probably couldn't, even if she tried. I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse but Kryptonians are hard to keep down."

Conner laughed long and bitterly, his hands swiping at his eyes. "I've heard. I just...what do we do now?"

"Stop lying. I swear I'll never do something like this again. You're not wrong, it's all my fault."

"And J'onn's right. It doesn't matter who did what. We just need to win."

"Well clearly good has always kicked Darkseid's ass before. He might have gotten close before with us or with the JSA in the '40s but he failed . He's still 0-for-2."

Conner brightened at that. "Well, then three strikes and you're out?"

"Hopefully, Conner you just-" He screamed then, bringing his hands to his ears and I freaked out, not sure what could be wrong with him. "Conner? I demanded, pulling at his arms, "Conner? What's wrong?"

He didn't answer but fell to his knees, still screaming at whatever was assailing him. I got down next to him, shaking at his shoulder until his screams faded and he finally focused back on me. "God."

"What was that? Did Granny?"

He shook his head. "I...the Fortress has a tone, did you know that?"

I frowned. "What?"

"I...our House, the House and the crystals and all of it, there's a frequency. I can hear it."

"They're visiting Jor-El?"

Conner shook his head and grabbed my hand. "No, Chloe, they didn't visit, but they did tear it down."


	48. Chapter 48

_I said there was nothing I could do for you.  
><em>  
>Jor-El's voice thundered through my brain, into everything I was. I'd heard a lot about him from Conner, after I came clean to him. Oddly, my own Det. Ellis had never had a Fortress or private retreat of any kind written in for him. Maybe that was all psychosomatic too. Maybe I didn't want to remember this place. From what I'd gathered from my brother, Jor-El was cold and sadistic. He'd killed my human father and branded me like an animal. He'd taken control of my mind, put things into it without me asking, and even taken my powers from me in some stupid stunt to give them to my former fiance.<p>

It was all games with him and power plays.

I was done with that, damn it. I knew who I was and what I wanted. I was Superman and I was going to work with Granny to create a world where things like genocide couldn't happen, where I was ruling with strength and despite my so-called father's demands. I don't know why I even bothered coming back to see this machine before. I don't, but I wasn't who I'd been, and no one was going to abuse me or push me around any further.

Granny stood next to me and placed a warm hand on my shoulder. I was beginning to reconstruct my family, and Jor-El had no place in it.

At all.

"I don't need to be fixed," I replied activating my heat vision.

I don't know if a machine can be surprised, but Jor-El certainly sounded like he was. _It is not possible for you to have your powers back.  
><em>  
>Quirking my head at him, I snorted. "It's not possible for you . I have someone who's got my back now."<p>

_I sense something dark in her. She's not human._

"She part of our club then," I said. "Granny has helped me discover exactly what I want to be. And I know who I am. I don't need you anymore."

_I have long since relieved you of duty, Kal-El. You know that happened when you lost your powers and I have no need of you now with your insolent tone.  
><em>  
>I laughed long and hard, and I wondered if the AI realized what a joke it was, trapped here and barking orders. It only had power as long as I agreed to play, and I no longer wanted to do that at all. Pulling back my arm, I punched through the ice column encasing the uniform I'd come for. The black was a nice look, but it wasn't enough. I needed to show the world all of me-my face and my sigil. I needed them to see me as the hero I was and black wasn't for that.<p>

A red cape?

Yes, I could be the world's hero in red and blue. I knew that now.

The fortress shook with the force of my blow and it felt good, felt fucking amazing to take out all that pain and anger and frustration. No more confusion, just what Granny wanted...what I wanted to. Tossing the outfit to her, I let everything out, ignoring the shouts of that impotent creation that was the fortress. It caved around me in seconds.

Seconds to take it all down and something I know I should have done long ago.

Maybe I'd have smiled more then.

The next day, I went to Smallville High. I wanted something from Zoe, needed to double check with her. After that, Granny promised we'd go to my third. I couldn't wait for that, but some needs came first. I was half way to The Torch office when a familiar heartbeat caused me to duck into the nearest classroom.

Conner.

Activating my heat vision, I could see how beaten up he was, the ring of bruises from my fingers around his neck. I swallowed. Maybe I had been rougher than I meant to. Trying to convince Conner had bled into more violence than I'd wanted and I don't even know when it had. It was just that all these emotions swirled up in me and that prompted me to follow them. Convincing him, drawing in my family, what Granny wanted.

No, correct that.

I wanted it.

Except I hadn't wanted Conner to look so awful.

It must have been as bad as I thought because the next thing I saw was Zoe walking down the hall and dragging my brother to the left corner of the hall and through The Torch doors. I hated not being able to see all of it, not really wanting to focus my sight through a collection of rooms and walls. Instead, I perked up my ears, figuring the conversation would have to suffice. Maybe Conner was warning her first. Not a good move since she had what I needed.

_Conner, Jesus, what happened?_

_I... _my brother fumbled and I found it ironic that superheroes, whose lives depended on secrecy, really couldn't lie any better than we did.

_Conner, I'm serious. What could even do that to you?_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_It means that I know. Clark...he told me about you and who you really are. I won't say what cause I wouldn't hold that against you or against Clark. I always suspected The Blur and the people most like him weren't from around here.  
><em>  
>I could make out the scrape of a chair against linoleum and then the uptick of Conner's heart. Zoe was smart but she wasn't refined in her approach yet.<p>

_I don't know what you're talking about._

_You and Clark and The Maid of Might. You're aliens. I mean, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. It's great for Metropolis, considering what you all do. I just know that you have abilities and that you shouldn't be bruised. What's going on?_

_You know?_

Another scrape and this time I assumed it was Zoe who was standing. Conner's heart slowed and I wonder if his girlfriend should be worried. If he's part me, well, I always had a thing for smart reporters.

_I don't care. I just... what's wrong? Clark missed meeting with us yesterday. I'm worried.  
><em>  
><em>Stay away from him<em>. There was the rustle of fabric and I could see him, just envision him rubbing at his neck.

_Con?_

_Clark did this. He's not right. Something horrible poisoned him and we're trying to fix it._

_Lex?_

_So much worse. I just...stay sharp and find a way to warn Clayton. He has all his blur abilities back. You just need to be careful._

_God, you too.  
><em>  
>I waited a few seconds, till after the "woosh" of super speed hand worn off, and I was sure Conner was gone. It was then I sped as well, slipping seamlessly into The Torch office and shaking my head when Zoe jumped. Tilting my head, I watched as she backed into the desk. It almost amused me to see her struggling through the drawers, eventually settling on a letter opener to brandish against me.<p>

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Bullshit!" Zoe replied, holding the letter opener high and swiping it in my direction. She really did remind me of Chloe.

Holding up my hands, I started to pace, letting the my duster flare behind me. "I could have killed you by now. I have no reason to because you're a friend and I don't want to kill if I don't have to."

"Conner-"

"I didn't mean to get that far. He's my brother and I'd never really injure him."

She glared at me. "Sure looks injured to me. What do you even want from me?"

Running my hand over a desk that needed to be seriously dusted, I sighed and turned back to her. "I need the records of everything Wayne Industries has been doing in Smallville. Them and Queen as well. I think they've been digging out the meteor rocks."

She blinked. "You! Two years ago, Queen Industries did the same thing all over the county. I was following it back when I was a sophomore. I could never figure it out. The rocks came from the shower and they mutate so they're clearly radioactive. If Oliver and Mr. Wayne want them-"

"I need you to find out if they've been taking any. I don't want to be surprised at all."

She swallowed and stood up as tall as she could. It was laughable when you realized I could beat up someone as powerful as J'onn or Diana. "I won't help you, Clark. Something's wrong with you...it's poisoning you. Just go see Chloe and she'll fix it. That's what she does."

"I'm fine!" I said, flashing heat vision and letting an abandoned part of the cork board burn until Zoe put it out with a bottle of water in front of her. "I feel amazing. I just need to have someone checking things for me."

"Like Chloe would have?"

"I need my own assistant. I work better with someone to pitch ideas off of. You wanted me to get my powers back so why aren't you happy?"

Zoe shook her head and started for the door. "Because you're acting insane. You can't seriously want to help anyone who'd make you think hurting Conner was okay."

I was at the door before she had turned the knob. "So you're not going to do what I ask anymore?"

Zoe looked up at me and spit in my face. "Never."

She really was just like her idol.

"Then tell Conner and Chloe something."

"What?" she asked and her heart was hammering so fast.

With no effort at all, I snapped her left shoulder. "I'm not waiting long for them. I'll take this to Watchtower next."

With that, I was gone.


	49. Chapter 49

"We need to talk," Martha said, walking into my hotel room in Granville.

"Martha, I didn't know you'd gotten into town. I thought Conner would have let me know," I replied, taking her coat and hanging it up for her in my closet.

She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "Conner's not feeling great. All that noise from the Fortress being torn down gave him a migraine. Besides, he's a bit freaked out."

"Because of Clark. We'll figure this out. We always get a plan together; it's what the League does."

Martha narrowed her eyes at me, and I wasn't sure how we'd gotten here. The Red Queen and the White Queen, unable to get along. I know it escalated when I chose not to tell Clark, but I wondered when we'd both ended up on opposite sides of power of his life. If the split had started some time after she'd come to D.C.

"He zipped to my hotel room a couple hours ago."

"Today's a school day."

"You can imagine I wasn't happy about that. I know he'd been feeling badly, but I wanted him to try a normal schedule, to keep his mind on something because detaining Clark is not a job for Conner, even if they have similar abilities."

I could read what Martha wasn't saying in that, that Clark was bigger, stronger and faster. Even without the Fate Helmet, it would be impossible not to know exactly what the result of a fight between the two brothers would end with.

"I understand. I'd never ask that of him."

"I hope not. Still, he was very upset when he came to see me and it had little to do with Clark."

I let out a breath. "Thank God. We can't take another surprise pop-in."

"Do you know a Zoe Turner?"

It suddenly was very hard to swallow. "Yes, she runs The Torch now. We correspond even if it's under my alias. I don't understand. Did something happen?"

"She knows."

Bothering to ask what would have been insulting to both of us. "How could she possibly know about Conner's abilities or Clark's."

"Did you tell her?"

Now it was my turn to mirror Martha's stance. "I'd never tell anyone anything about Clark. You know that I did everything I could to get him back and take down the VRA's files. I'd never just blab it all out to a teen reporter. I'd know better."

Martha continued to glare and I wasn't sure if she believed me or not. "She pulled Conner aside and asked him about what happened, said she knew about their powers. I don't know but you're not containing anything. If it spreads to the rest of Smallville High..."

"I'll talk to her. She may have just put everything together. Clark's never been subtle and a person with a keen mind can piece together that The Blur started in Smallville. It's not too hard to hopscotch and Zoe's bright."

"I'm tired, Chloe," Martha replied, starting to pace. "I'm incredibly tired. I've lost my husband in this war and chaos, and I've lost the Clark I knew. All I wanted was to let him know who he was. If we had, he wouldn't be with Granny now, would he?"

"I can't know that."

"She took advantage of him," she replied, stopping and glaring back at me. "We hid the truth and it cut him off from all of us. She used that. against him. I should have known better."

"Martha, we thought-"

"I was wrong, wasn't I?"

Reeling back as if I'd been slapped, I frowned at her. "About me?"

"After Jonathan's death, I thanked you because I didn't think I could do this on my own. Maybe I shouldn't have relied so heavily on you because this is...it's ruined him."

"He hasn't murdered anyone yet and they don't have a third. I just need to think."

"Then maybe you can start by making sure Zoe stays quiet about both my sons. J'onn and I are still working on things ourselves. I'm going over any Checkmate files on the JSA in the 40s and he's going over anything Carter left to him. I just don't know what else to do."

"J'onn said the best thing isn't to blame each other. We all made mistakes and we have to work together."

Martha shook her head and grabbed for her things. "That makes for a nice story but he's my son. I know you love him. I get that, but you might actually be the worst thing that ever happened to him. Good day, Chloe."

Before I could stop her, she stormed back out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

After everything was left so terribly with Martha, I was surprised to find Conner in the waiting room of Smallville Medical Center when I rushed in. He and Clayton were sitting folded up in those hideous plastic chairs and both looked wrecked. Conner was shaking his head, staring off into space and Clayton's eyes were bloodshot.

"Guys, is she okay?"

Conner looked up and squeezed my hand with his. I pushed away any thoughts that he was like Clark, that the gesture felt familiar. Clark wasn't here anymore, not really. "She's in surgery for her shoulder. Zoe's gonna pull through but she's gonna be in a cast for a while to say the least."

"I don't understand."

"Me neither. I came into the office to grab something before third period and found her curled on the floor in the fetal position," Clayton said. "She wouldn't tell me what happened, just said to get on ambulance and then she was pretty in and out."

"Shock," I supplied.

I would have pressed more but Dr. Scanlan came out then. He gave me the once over and frowned. I wasn't sure if he remembered me, but it was possible. Every one of us had spend way too much time here. Of course, Smallville was the kind of town with monstrous rampages so a lot of the town was like that, frequent ER flier miles.

"Are Ms. Turner's parents here yet."

Clayton shook his head. "They're in Paris. They're taking a red eye here as soon as they can. I just talked to them."

"Are there any first degree relatives?"

Instinct and years of bluffing in the field took over. Holding out my hand, I shook his. "I'm Anne, Anne Hatcher and I'm Zoe's aunt. May I see her?"

He frowned again, still clearly trying to place me but couldn't quite. "I suppose so."

Clayton and Conner nodded.

"Exactly," her boyfriend said. "Anne and Zoe are very close."

It was enough to put Scanlan at ease. "Then follow me, Ms. Hatcher, but you can't stay long."

"Wouldn't dream of keeping her up too long," I said, my knees buckling when I saw her. She had her arm in a massive cast and looked pale, as if all the color had been drained from her skin.

"Zoe?"

She nodded and looked back at the doctor. "Can, uh, Anne and I have a minute?"

"Sure but no more than ten minutes. You need your rest."

"Tell me about it," Zoe said, waiting until he'd shut the door behind him before continuing. "Chloe, Clark did this."

"How?" I asked.

"You know he was The Blur or is or is something Hella powerful and currently creepy."

"Zoe-"

"I talked to Conner about his powers not three hours ago. Chloe, I know. I'm not an idiot. I can read the old files and put it all together. I don't know how Clark got his powers back and I don't know why he's dressed like the freaking Matrix, but he's very powerful and he's very angry."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple weeks since I really clenched it, but I've suspected since the Homecoming I met him."

"What did Clark want? Why would he do this?" I said, gesturing to her crushed shoulder.

"He wanted me to track meteor rock excavations. They hurt him, don't they?"

I nodded and pulled a large chunk from my purse. When Conner called me, I knew she'd need one. "Have this on you at all times. You'll be safe if you have it."

She clutched it awkwardly in her right hand. "Thank you. Chloe, why is he so angry?"

"Someone got to him. Conner mentioned that right?"

"Yeah, but he was just there in the office. I couldn't get away, but I also wouldn't do what he wanted. I don't want to help him anymore."

"Anymore?"

She looked away and blushed. "I helped set up a file for him, knew he'd check them because he had the override. I wanted The Blur back."

Reaching out, I stroked her hair back. She was not that much younger than I was, not really, at least not young enough to feel like a daughter. I was supposed to mentor her and I'd let her straight into trouble with Clark. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not...Clark's so nice, I don't know how he could be this way even if something's poisoning him. It's like he's a completely different person. He was so angry."

"I know," I said, my voice catching in my throat.

"Chloe, he said that he was bringing it to the Watchtower. Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah, I do. He's coming for me and Conner and he's done waiting. Zoe, you hold onto that rock and I'll give one to Clayton. Like I said, don't you dare drop it."

"I won't! Hell, I don't think I'll ever even sleep again."

That made two of us.


End file.
